Tuesday, October 06, 2009

The Game Day Skate presents the Flames Game Preview and Open Thread

Oh good morning all you fine folks. I bet you didn't expect to see a game preview at this hour. Surprise! This may happen more and more this year, as TMS' school schedule often precludes "wasting time at work" by writing previews. The only downside I can see is that you are subjected to half-naked women during your breakfast. Wait, that's a downside?

Let's quickly look at what you missed while having nightmares of having to apologize to your wife on national TV. Don't give up on tits just yet; Little Tits will go to Hamilton after all, though Sportsnet reports it's just a prelude to a trade. Luongo is struggling, and is even pulled in the 'Nucks 3rd straight loss. Please schadenfreudenly enjoy the Leafs goalie issues before the first Battle of Ontario tonight. From our old buddy Weed Against Speed, you can also enjoy the greatest hockey photo ever, even if it does contain too many B's fans.

So the Habs arrive West for the first of three games I'll fall asleep during. But Calgary is somewhat special in that it is the home of our very own Panger, not to mention several commentors. Panger is headed to the game tonight, so look for him on the teevee. Of course, you don't know what Panger looks like, but you can recognize him by the way he screams every time TFS is not square to the shooter. Oh, and he's probably drunk. On with the preview!

Waiting in line details - 9 PM EST start at the Pengrowth Saddledome. I still can't remember what Pengrowth is. Game is on Sportsnet West, though that broadcast is probably blacked out in Montreal. Habs have struggled out of the gate to a 2-0-0 record, while the Flames are also 2-0-0.

Pay your cover charge to - friend of FHF Kent W who helped us out with the Squid Road Trip preview rocks all your Flames info over at Matchsticks and Gasoline. He wrote about the first two Flames games, "well, for the second straight game the Flames were handily outshot but managed to escape with a victory." Sound familiar?

Hot sexy Habs to watch - TFS, TFS, and more TFS. Although who knows if he's even starting. Another downside of previews written at 6 AM. Also, Squid (2A so far) returns "home", such as it is. Many other Habs also have 2 points, like Gionta, Moen, Gorges, and Pleks (really?).

Skanky Habs to watch - Big Tits is dead. Or at least, he has taken the zombie mantle from Pleks. So we now have ZombieTits. For some reason, that turns me on.

Hot sexy Flames to watch - Kipper has matched TFS for coming out of the gate strong, stopping 70 of 76 shots. Jay-Bo is outplaying Phaneuf, +3 to -1, though Dion has 2G already.

Skanky Flames to watch - Iginla and Jokinen only have 1 measly assist each through 2 games. Expect them to break out tonight, ugh.

Not dancing due to too many vodka Red Bulls -just pencil in "Marbyrne" (Rhinov? O'ov?) for the next month and a half. Metro is questionable too, day-to-day with "ribs" that are hopefully Memphis-style BBQ'ed. As a result, HIO reported the following lines yesterday at practice:

Squid – Gomez – Gionta
Max Pack – Pleks – ZombieTits
Gui! – Mad Max – MOEmaN
Stewie – Chips – BGL

We'll see if those hold up during the day. Also, looks like newly-called up Swiss Mister II is playing.

In the VIP room -it's early. Game 3 of 82. We'll wait a while before ranting and raving and/or freaking out over injuries [takes deep breath, meth hit].

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - I've never been to Calgary as an adult, so I've got nothing to recommend. Panger?

You've got all day to talk dirty in the comments

80 comments:

moeman said...

Another roving-eye ron 'tit grabber' mclame creepy pic. Also, does Glen Anderson look creepily Jokerish or what?

Boob Gainey said...

I've been to Calgary, and I can recommend ...

... not going to Calgary.

Sorry.

Boob Gainey said...

On the other hand, Calgarians are the friendliest people on earth.

too close to toronto said...

my vote is for "O'ov".

Number31 said...

So long as Price doesn't flub the puck on what was an icing call and let it get poked away into his net, we'll be fine! Right? Just ask Crabby Khabby.

Habsfan10 said...

Panger's going and Panger's boy Chips is playing? It's fate. Chips scores three goals, first star. Book it.

GoldenGirl11 said...

schadenfreudenly

Nothing else. Just love that word. Carry on.

Van Hab said...

Wooohoo! Games that don't start until I get home from work!
I won't be attending the game tomorow, but I'll be attending Two Parrots, where beers are $2 when the Canucks score. THis is a can't lose situation for me, since I'll either leave the bar with a black eye for rubbing a victory in the face of some meth-addled Nucks fan, or I'll leave shitfaced one too many Canucks Goal Beers and stumble down to No. 5 Orange to cry into the wig of some stripper.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moeman
you didn't read the tv guide desciption of the event. They coulda kept it brief by just saying "Tune in for a couple of hours of creepy".

Hockey players with the dream of figure skating? How Canadian. Studies show that football players have the same natural aptitude as ballerinas. Dancing with the Stars might be annoying but at least it's different and shocking when they're good. NHL players who can figure skate is like having an NFL stars in a show called Playing Football with Canadians.... Watch your favorite Canadian football, uh, stars (?) try and show NFL athletes how to play football on a different size field and with the French media in the wings! You won't be able to tear yourself away although voting is limited to people in North Bay and Nunavut..

Boob Gainey said...

The Maple Leafs have a new anthem.

Appropriately, it sucks.

Free to be a dreamer

Free to be who you are

Free to believe in your star

Free to go far

Oh! Oh! Oh! That's Canada's dream (Go Leafs Go)

Oh! Oh! Oh! This is Canada's team (Go Leafs Go)

GoldenGirl11 said...

I've never been to Calgary as an adult
So just post the mini golf/kid strip bar that your parents took you to during family vacations.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Hi Ron? Brian here... We have some good news for you... No need to hold such intense practices anymore... Yes, that's right, we have an ANTHEM to fire the guys up... It's brilliant!... Yes, Pierre is here with me... Uh huh.... Sounds great. I'll get the Maple syrop and we'll meet you in the sauna in 15.

Moey said...

"So we now have ZombieTits. For some reason, that turns me on."

Eeeewwww, reminds me of some of the Brits I work with, they'll jump on anything, heartbeat optional

moeman said...

heh @ HF29 ~ "Gui! – Mad Max – MOEmaN"

It pays to pay attention to details and/or re-read.

moeman said...

Sometimes simpler is better (that or I'm as fucking lazy as Tenderness today).

Pressure Drop v.84

Hmm hmm hmm, meth... [3x]

It is you (oh meth)
It is you, you (oh meth)
It is you (oh meth)

Cause a pressure drop, oh pressure, oh yeah pressures gonna drop on Gui!
Oh yeah pressure drop a drop on Gui!
I say a pressure drop, oh pressure
Oh yeah pressure drop a drop on Gui!

I say when it drops, oh you gonna feel it
Know Gui! that all you're doing is wrong.

It is you (oh meth)
It is you, you (oh meth)
It is you (oh meth)

Hmm hmm hmm, meth... [3x]
I say a pressure drop, oh pressure, oh yeah pressures gonna drop on Gui!
Life gets rough, life gets tough, so tell me Gui!, what you gonna do about it?

Oh yeah, pressure drop a drop on Gui! [2x]

It is you (oh meth)
It is you, you (oh meth)
It is you (oh meth)

I say a pressure drop, oh pressure
Oh yeah pressure drop a drop on Gui!

~~~

For you kidz, here's Toots and The Maytals original .

For you older kidz, here's The Specials SKAupdated rev .

habsss said...

O'byrne out 8 weeks.

Boob Gainey said...

I think the Clash did the best version of Pressure Drop, although the Specials cover is also pretty good.

moeman said...

Boob knows.

Circa 1977 kidz. The days of Punk and Habs Cups galore.

moeman said...

tsn says The Monstrous One will start v. OTT. Does peeair magwire have enough slimy spunk to splooge for an entire game or will he be spent in his shorts by the end of the national anthem?

GoldenGirl11 said...

In a related topic London Calling was voted best album of the 80's by Rolling Stone Magazine. All children young and old should know The Clash.

moeman said...

GG11 knows, which is why my (wait for it) 19 year old daughter is a big fan of The Clash. Fuck!, I miss Joe Strummer as much as I miss Bob Marley.

Doogie2K said...

I still can't remember what Pengrowth is.

An oil company. It's Calgary, after all.

Kipper has matched TFS for coming out of the gate strong, stopping 70 of 76 shots.

But unlike TFS, looking like garbage on every goal. (And yes, I watched the disaster at Rexall on Saturday, and will have nightmares about Khabibulin's puckhandling skills for weeks.)

I've never been to Calgary as an adult, so I've got nothing to recommend. Panger?

The French Maid, I guess? But not the one at Sunridge; it's skanky, yo. The one at Chinook was much better.

In a related topic London Calling was voted best album of the 80's by Rolling Stone Magazine.

Not to be a nitpicker, but much like The Wall, it was actually released in late 1979. It always bugs me for some reason when 19X9 (1969, 1979, etc.) albums are counted in the next decade. Maybe it's because Galaxie keeps playing stuff from 1967 on the '70s station, and there's no way you should be making that mistake. Stupid CBC.

Finally, much as I'd love to try to meet some Calgary FHF'ers...two midterms tomorrow. Fuck.

(Finally finally, word verification is "foccu," which is as close to "fuck you" as I've ever seen.)

moeman said...

News about Saku. (via Eric Duhatschek, a decent journalist)

Bergeron a Hab. 1 year deal. Off to Hamilton for conditioning.

Halak starts the game tonight.

Linkydinks soon.

GoldenGirl11 said...

My house is like the movie Diner only my kids must know classic rock as they already know their football. When they listen to Rap crap they hide and as if they are doing drugs. Drugs are probably better for their brains than Lil Wayne.

HabsFan29 said...

Bertrand Rayomond is very pleased with this new signing

moeman said...

"DU RENFORT QUÉBÉCOIS"

http://www.rds.ca/canadien/chroniques/283737.html

rds had to go all racist and shit with their fucking headline. Man do these Séparatistes have an inferiority complex. Nice use of the all caps FUCKTARDS.

kevincrumbs said...

Favourite Clash song (and one of my favourite songs, period): (White Man) in Hammersmith Palais.

Bryan said...

PRE DRINKS AT THE ROSE AND CROWN !! 4-6pm

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Doogie
released Dec. 15th(ish). It's like Christmas eve or Kol nidre. Night before needs the next day to be absorbed. Now stop blogging and go study.

moeman said...

Too many great Clash songs to choose from. For me it is a tie betwixt 'Lost in the Supermarket' and 'Magnificent Seven'.

Boob Gainey said...

Here you go - Joe Strummer covering Bob Marley.

moeman said...

Thnx Boob. Like going to church (which I stopped doing in 1986 when I discovered Marley). 1986 was an amazing year for other reasons ... see Stanley, Cup.

Also, GG11 said, kids listen to some Clash (and lots of Marley).

Boob Gainey said...

Don't mean to start a polemic, but I really don't see how that rds headline is racist.

moeman said...

@Boob, just my description of rds, once again, finding the bigoted need to drop the 'Québecois' nomenclature. The Bergeron signing has nothing to do with his birthplace but the pure woolers at rds have a deep-seeded need to point it out, in their headline. As the Greeks said, don't shoot the moessenger.

Moey said...

"Does peeair magwire have enough slimy spunk to splooge for an entire game or will he be spent in his shorts by the end of the national anthem?"

@moeman,

with any luck he'll be spent then he'll nap through the game. I wish he would just STFU.

moeman said...

@Moey, are you suggesting some of the male species snooze after snuggling?

Also, why does magwire keep screaming? What the fuck is wrong with that fucking fucktard.

~~~

WV = poing, I kid you not.

... and 'Matty' Stajan? Did peeair hum a little tune before gametime?

Moey said...

@moeman,

I'm not suggesting it, I'm stating a fact. Notice how the fucktard in true fucktard fashion singles out Kovy as the most useless player on the Sens? He's such an arse.

moeman said...

Dou$harek wanted to be a B.

Too funny.

fiik said...

ohberries noice mention ob da Clash's best fong White Manj in Hammersmith Palais,dat be my fabourite too and it brings da gus viibes to dis here lil fred. I kwon joo be kakkin at me but da Habs will winnnit donight aginst da Flamers. Yer. all joo poofers and lebinsons dunt want to beelee me but whut I be sayin be da truf fanks. So jer. fanks.

Boob Gainey said...

I can't stand Tremblay and Blanchard and the other bigots, but it isn't bigoted to cheer for a local kid. For the Habs, local kids are Quebeckers.

Is it prejudiced to cheer for Canada at the Olympics?

I have a Swedish friend who cheers for the Red Wings.

And an acquaintance who is a moron cheers for the Bruins.

Are they prejudiced because they cheer for their own kind?

Boob Gainey said...

2-0 Sens.

Maguire is depressed.

The twat.

moeman said...

Some good points Boob but I stand by my comment that rds drops the pure wool card way too fucking often. If I want biased politics, I'll watch ctvnews.

~~~

leaf needs a new coach (start the controversy). I recommend peeair.

fezworth said...

I can't watch because of a Bio lab, and even if I could.. I don't live in Calgary anymore :'(

fiik said...

jer.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

Jaro!

robert said...

smurfs no more... should be called the Giant-Mexican-Squid line

Anonymous said...

Does anybody know if Habs games are blacked out on RDS in the land of the evil empire. Looking to add RDS to my cable, but if the games are blacked out then I could have talk with my wife instead... or surf for porn

Boob Gainey said...

Stewart is the new Kostopoulos.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

@ anon:
be more specific?

gillis said...

Which evil empire? Toronto? I wouldn't call it an empire.

Anonymous said...

About the conversations, the evil empire or the porn?

The porn - I'm not telling

The evil empire - Toronto

The conversations - "So after I dropped the kids at school, I went to the mall. The chick in front of me was wearing..."

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

yeah, i assume he means toronto, but who knows, maybe he's in north korea.

if it's toronto: no blackouts, i've been watching every game for the last two years without problems. oh and rogers just added rds hd, which is nice, because it's 2009 and all.

if it's north korea: seems like a pretty tightly-run ship. i'd go with blackouts.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the help

robert said...

giant mexican squids!

Boob Gainey said...

Gomer! LaT!

gillis said...

GUI!

fiik said...

kakkin at joo guys.

robert said...

thats nice ...gomez just scored in the other game GO TWINS

moeman said...

Looks like my Toots parody woke up the Gui!

Boob Gainey said...

Gosh but Hal Gill is bad.

Boob Gainey said...

We're back to sucking.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

Wow, Hal Gill is... well he's Hal Gill-bad.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

it's refreshing to see us bunker down and try and to hold a one-goal lead for 40. i like this new-look team.

kevincrumbs said...

Stewart really sucks at clearing the puck.

Matt D said...

"Gill fails to clear the puck" is going to be a common phrase, methinks.

matt - fear the collapse said...

i am pretty sure gainey skated faster on his jersey retirement night than gill does currently

gillis said...

PLEK GETS IT DONE A LA MALKIN!!!

matt - fear the collapse said...

a goal at the end...but 16-6 in shots...it would nice to see a reverse in this trend of getting outshot badly...

kevincrumbs said...

AK46 looks like the new Kovalev... and I don't mean that as a compliment. Dangles the puck, makes some nice moves and then passes it to the other team. Also, plays like he'd rather be hanging out in a sports bar somewhere.

kevincrumbs said...

Am I the only one to think that 3 yrs at over 4 million each is crazy money for Lu-chicken? I thought Boston had cap issues anyway...

kevincrumbs said...

Koivu scored his first for the Ducks in the 2nd against the Wild.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

watching koivu score for the ducks feels eerily like seeing your ex at a bar kissing another guy.

another bigger, stronger, better guy.

kevincrumbs said...

Patches, you gotta put that in!

Matt D said...

The Giant Mexican Squid line is FUN. Don't know if they're value for money, or even good bets to outscore the other team's top lines, but they do fly pretty well for a giant squid.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

i guess it's kind of late, but someone should tell Gilligan that we're wearing the white jerseys tonight...

kevincrumbs said...

Of course, the only game in which we take one penalty is when the other team takes none.

kevincrumbs said...

Pathetic attempt to get Jaro out of the net, pathetic looking attack with the extra man, pathetic second period sinks this team.

Oh well, you can't win them all. At least we weren't blown out, unlike last year's Western swing.

Anonymous said...

Was just able to tune in for the last 5 minutes, but in that time being down by a goal I saw a total of ZERO shots by the Habs. 2008/09 Habs = shit. 2009/10 Habs = different pile.

Boob Gainey said...

We played very well in a hugely entertaining game against a very good team, on the road.

As in our previous games, the difference was in goals, but in reverse: Halak was weak, Kipper was solid. We outplayed them mostly.

Positives:

Pleks is back.

Weber is NHL ready. He should stay with the big club.

Even AK46 looked better than usual.

The top line is fun to watch.

Negatives:

No 4th line. Actually, we have a good 4th line but they're our 3rd line.

Stewie and Chips aren't very good.

Halak. How are we going to trade you for one of the Hawks' d-men if you play like that?

We're still getting forechecked to death.

gillis said...

Somebody should tell the habs that they should try for a full period, not just for the end of them