Saturday, October 10, 2009

We do love GMS, but if he loses tonight you'll never see him again - Edmonton Game Preview and Open Thread

Greetings from the heart of the enemy! Yes, you're looking liiiive at HF29 previewing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. T-dot for short. Or so they say, that sounds kinda gay to me. Yours truly is here for a wedding, and a chance to see HF10 in the flesh. Well, with clothes on. Now that naked FHF'ers are in your head, let's do this thing!

Waiting in line details - 10 PM EST start at whatever they call the Northlands Coliseum now. Game is on CBC as the second half of the doubleheader. This is the finale of the 5 game road trip for the Habs to start the season. If they win, that'll be 3-2 and we can call it a success. Yeah, right.

Pay your cover charge to - Always on the road. There are Oilers fans in Vanc? Who knew.

Hot sexy Habs to watch - ---.

Skanky Habs to watch - the lot of 'em.

Hot sexy Oilers to watch - some French Canadian Russian named Denis Grebeshkov leads the Oil with 4 points. Comrie has 3.

Skanky Oilers to watch - how the fuck am I supposed to know? I'm so hungover from drinking with HF10 last night, I can barely see.

In the VIP room - Habs get one more week before the expletives fly in this space.

Post-game adult entertainment - in the spirit of our opponent, enjoy this gallery of women wrestling in oil (NSFW, as you may have guessed).

Make sure your dirty comments are covered in oil


punkster said...

Whale oil beef hooked.

moeman said...

DJ: Caller go ahead...
Guy!: Yeah, uh, I'm here with my Gal!friend?
Gal!: Hi.
Guy!: Do you want us to turn our radios down? We already did.
Gal!: Yeah.
Guy!: Okay, listen, will you play our song for us?
DJ: Um, well, what is your song?
(in unison) Guy!: Inna TFSa™ Believa.
Gal!: TFS™ Lift Us Up Where We Belong.
Gal!: What?
DJ: What is your love song?
Guy!: It's, uh....
Gal!: It's, um....
These are the Habs I know, I know
These are the Habs I know.
These are the Habs I know, I know
These are the Habs I know.

David Gomez, he works like a Mexican
He's worked here for four whole games, he'll probably work here four more years.


Dave Gionta, he might be five foot six
So far he's been Captain-like and deserves a danse-à-dix.


Dave Cammilleri, he's comes from Italy
He's the Squid in GGs pics, the moustaCHed calamari
Lightly grilled with olive oil, they are very tasty. <-- obligatory 'oil' comment


Four of them are FHFs …
"But we're all True Habs Fans"
They all have their own jobs
but they come from different moms.


Dave Laracque, man this vegan can swing
He weighs almost 250 pounds and he delivers Peta ads.


Dave Latendresse, we like to call him Gui!
He never shaves and its definitely not a playoff beard.


Dave Markov, our number one superstar
He's out until next Spring, gonna be a fucking cold winter.


Dave Plekanec, he's no longer a Zombie
Playing out his contract year, a UFA he'll be.


Dave Kostitsyn, he's the bigger boob
A Tit with no manzière, maybe he needs his smaller Bro.


Dave CHipCHura, he is our boy Chips
No player's ever had so many CHs in his name.


David Mara, now that's a hockey beard
So thick and plush, hidden in there is HSMCHalGill.

Dave Halak, the original Jaro 1
His slight accent makes listening to him fun.


David Price, his great saves better last
Cuz Jesus Saves but he still needs His apostle cast .


Dave Komisarek, I hardly know him...


THFs: "We are the True Habs Fans we know,
We are the True Habs Fans.
We are the True Habs Fans we know,
We are the True Habs Fans.
Some of us are lawyers, and most of us love porn.
We all use our own hands but we come from different sites."

We are the True Habs Fans we know,
We are the True Habs Fans.
We are the True Habs Fans we know,
We are the True Habs Fans.

HabsFan29 said...

outstanding moe. i would probably say that about anything KITH related, but i mean it this time

Moey said...

Squid with lemon, mmmm...grilled octopus with olive oil and herbs. I'm getting a craving.

LL Cool LJ said...

FYI... after the flames game, some douche bag threw a Habs jersey on the ice.. Gomez came back out and picked it up.. I like that kind of Pride.

Oilers lose tonight!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Mmmmmmmm... grilled mermaid.

lehab said...

@moeman...that was awesome
@fhf... love the picture of my giant mexican squid and must agree. didnt see them much in vancouver..must have got lost in the bermuda triangle

JanuskieZ said...

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GoldenGirl11 said...

Can't wait to hate the Nordiques again

Anonymous said...

@goldengirl11... i wonder what they will be called? the quebec rockies?

GoldenGirl11 said...

Or the Quebec Royckies.

moeman said...

Les Aqua Maroons.

matt - fear the collapse said...

I don't think the bag skate will do much. I am sure they will come out looking just as shitty as we have seen the last 4 games. 14-4 in favour of the oil in shots after the first is my prediction,

lawyergirl77 said...

If anything, I think that the bag skate, the day after back-to-back games was hideously ill-timed.

But I still maintain that the SOG are not an accurate reflection of how we're playing.
The game in Calgary was great, in spite of the loss.
And we weren't outplayed against Toronto.

That being said, we looked like last year's shite Habs against Vancouver. Plus ça change...

And I'm beginning to think that AK46 = Ryder 2.0. Only turns it on when the game is out of reach (either in the win or loss column)

GoldenGirl11 said...

I miss the old guys who sucked. At least I knew them. My kids went to Ottawa tonight to see Kovy play Atlanta. 15 wore his birthday present Kovy Sens shirt. It'll be a long time before they're asking for a Hab number that means anything.

Did anyone else find it odd that they did the whole statue ceremony yesterday while the team was on the road? Kinda like throwing a party when the folks are out of town. Seems to me that if they had faith in this group they'd be taking advantage of photo ops linking the past to the present. Beliveau, Moore, Houle.... great representation of what was. I bet Saku woulda cut the ribbon if he were here.

Moey said...


I miss the guys who didn't suck last year, Lang for one. I felt more emotion watching the Ducks blow Boston out of their arena than I do for the Habs right now.

lawyergirl77 said...

GG - I found it weird too. Hmmm...

And, a request from friend of Mr. LG77: who is the girl in today's squidilicious photo? He finds her, uh, cute.

Moey said...

No Shelly tonight, crap crap crap.

lawyergirl77 said...

I miss Lang too.

But you want to know the scary thing? Dandy and (gasp) Breezer would have KILLED in this system. it's all about needing defencemen who can carry the puck.

Gill? Not so much.

I think it's really shitty that we didn't call El Dandy or (even) Breezer back when Vodkov and Rhino went down.

GoldenGirl11 said...

It's hard to remember anybody that didn't suck. Lang was part of that 100th anniversary voted most likely to win the conference and maybe the cup team with the All Star coach whose contract extension was the best decision that Bob ever made. All I seem to remember is Feb.1 when they wore those idiotic barber pole outfits, lost Lang and spiraled into the toilet. I miss them.

I will check into the mystery mermaid.

Oh and 4-2 Ottawa. Kovy had a goal.

Moey said...

@LG & GG,

Of all the games in all the towns....that's the Habs game I went to last Feb. I'm a jinx. I never had a problem with Dandy or Breezer in the last two seasons. Word on the street is that Breezer has offered his services. The season is young, more changes to come methinks.

GoldenGirl11 said...

I was there too. I thought it was me!

It seems that I can't remember what I googled to find that girl. It's usually bikini or stripper or pole dancer or something like that. It's all becoming a filthy blur. The only thing I'm sure of is that it was from the net and not from my iPhoto family vacation last winter. I will keep track from now on.

Matt D said...

God love Chips, but he's just not an NHL player.

Matt D said...

Kevin Weeks might be new, but he can spout meaningless platitudes like an old pro. Apparently, the key to the Habs success this year isn't secondary scoring, or the PP, or team D, but "soul."
Thanks for the insight, Kevin.

matt - this team is shit said...

new long until gainey is canned...

Sleepy said...

Haven't seen AK since the turnover

Matt D said...

Laraque on the ice against the Hemsky line with 9 minutes left and down 2? Who the hell is coaching this team: Carbo?

lawyergirl77 said...

Here's the thing.

I don't think Chips played badly tonight, at all. He seems to be getting back into the groove and he's starting to do the little things right.


Sucks we lost this one.

orangeman said...

Matt: I yelled out the same thing. Laraque with 2 mins left? Gill on in the final minute?

And I know Price is like Allah around here, but he didn't give his team a chance to win tonight. I'm not saying all 10 goals he gave up the last 2 games were his fault, but sometimes a goalie has to make the big saves. And let's not get into "We have to protect his confidence!". Time to grow a pair and deal with it.

kevincrumbs said...

Much better effort and performance tonight. If not for a hot Khabibulin, we probably would've won this thing.

Kostitsyn is really, really invisible.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

i'm going to go ahead and say it, and feel free to disagree with me, but i think this was one of the most boring one-point habs games i remember ever watching.

moeman said...

Coach Martin, your system should be to play for 60 minutes.

GoldenGirl11 said...

I'll miss you GMS.

L Dude said...

Quick question.
Did I miss the story where Carbo was killed in a horrible car accident and was reincarnated as Jaques Martin? It's the only answer. Why the fuck else is Laraque and/or Gill seeing ice time in a 1 goal game with 2 minutes left. Why the fuck else is Travis Fucking Moen on the top line? I know we're short top tier players, but fuck me. I say what the fuck, call up Sergei and stick him on the 2nd line and keep the GMS line togehter.

Gainey looked last night like Dr. Frankenstein: a man who is coming to terms with the fact that his science experiment ain't working.

I'm not surprised to see him gone by Christmas.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

I thought AK46 played a decent game up until that giveaway, and it's not like he's the only one who looks lost. We really don't have the guns to be able to sit 20-goal scorers for a whole period...

Weber played a decent game last night, but I'd take Dandy back in a heartbeat. If nothing else, he and Metropolit make a killer shutdown line.

WV: "Subster". Hmm...

Number31 said...

In early games like these at the beginning of the year and on the road in not the friendliest of terrain, it's hard to settle your team into the system. The best you can do is pound some form of work ethic into them. Martin sacrificed a hope for a win for a punishment statement. Whether it works on Andrei or not remains to be seen but his laziness must be stopped... I think it took almost an entire season to bench him last year while still playing the same way day in/day out. But I think Andrei's head is screwed on better than his brother's, in that he owes a heck of a lot to the team for taking a chance on him and helping him with his epilepsy. It's up to him to continue.

Gill was on the ice because Hammer had some problems. Also he's a tree that can block the empty net...

Nevertheless, thank god that western swing is over now. Happy turkey day guys.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

@ L Dude
Apparently Hamrlik was hurt (oy vey...), which is why Gill was on. 'Cuz, y'know, putting Weber (the one with the cannon) or Mara (the assist leader) or Gorges (the clutch goal-scorer... wait what?) or, hell, anyone who can find the fucking puck in their skates every now and then would've been much too logical. And I agree about Laraque - I was shouting at the TV.

He may be a whiny, sulky little bitch, but at least Sergei has an inkling of what a puck is and what to do with it. SK74 up, Patches down (not that Pacioretty has been bad, per se, just that his puck control and decision-making are iffy).

GoldenGirl11 said...

All I know is that I'd love to be a fly on the wall at parent/coach interviews when Mr. and Mrs. Tits have their appointment.

WV: eguse as in "Mrs. Tits, Mr. Tits, there is no eguse for your sons' laziness and bad behavior. One has already been expelled and the other has gotten detention. Maybe you should consider taking away the xbox and making them go to bed early once in a while".

PegBlogger said...

time for Guy and bigtits to go

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

not to get all bertrand raymond on you guys, but you know who i miss right now on the pk? steve begin.

kevincrumbs said...

I'm confused by the utter pessimism surrounding last night's events. I'm not sure if my expectations are low because of the 7-1 curb stomping that the Canucks administered or what but come on, we out shot them and definitely had stretches where we outplayed them.

Western Canada is a graveyard for this team, so it's not like Martin is fucking up someone that we've traditionally done. Add in a whole long stretch away from home (not just the Bell Centre but literally the comforts of one's home) to start the season and I don't think it's time to freak out about this team yet.

The Sabres game was a total piece of shit compared to this... and we won that!

kevincrumbs said...

I meant "fucking up something we've traditionally done well". Yikes. Maybe I'm still hungover.

Moey said...


The problem is it's like friken' groundhog day with the Habs. You start the season fresh with high hopes and before you know it, you only have one scoring line, you've lost your best D man, the rest of the D is suspect and your goalie is running hot and cold. Again. Does it sound eerily familiar to last season? I'm cranky and I'm going to go have a glass or two or ten of wine. And yes, the sun will come up tomorrow. Maybe.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

@ The Gate
Meh. I'd rather have Metro back - at least he doesn't put us on the PK to begin with.

@ Moey
Don't forget the total lack of powerplay, and the 4th line's determination to inflate the stats of opposing scorers.

Whatever. I figure we'll be good to go once O'Byrne comes back and/or Pleks has a decent winger or two to play with.