Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween Habs vs Leafs on HNIC Game Preview and Open Thread



Ah the Bi-Polar nature of Halloween: girls in sexy costumes and cool terrifying masks like The Traitor - more Douc$harek apparel available soon on Ebay from GG11.

It's almost game time, and my stomach is sore. I'm not sure if it's from eating the Halloween candy we're supposed to be giving away - for free! - to neighbourhood brats or from laughing so hard at "Jaro's" game review. Without any hyperbole whatsoever, that was the funniest thing I've ever read on the Internet. Bravo.

My stomach may also be sore from bubbling over in acidic anticipation of The Return of Michael Komisarek. Formerly My Boy Komo finally comes back to play where he was drafted and developed yadda yadda yadda now he's Douc$harek and we all hate him:


Let's hit the Hallowe'en bullet point preview:
  • If you're not reading this on your ifone/crackberry, you're likely watching it on your nearest tv right now
  • available on virtually all Canadian Broadcasting Corporation channels, before God and a coast to coast audience to determine which team may find some interim relief from their solidly mediocre starts.

  • Horrible Haunting Habs really suck on the road, having lost four straight.

  • But the Frighteningly Scary Leafs still suck more: only one win all season.
  • Habs win and we can all laugh and point and call Leafs' fans names cause their team only won one game all month. On the other hand, it might encourage more Leafs fans to sell their allegiance on Ebay, thereby infecting every fan base with irrational douchebag fan rah-rahism.

  • I've done no research whatsoever but I'm guessing since the Laughs finally managed to win a game in Anaheim (and rather handily at that) and then earned road points in Dallas and Buffalo means The Big Ufas of 2009, Niceroad and Penalty King Komo and thir forwards generally must be sucking slightly less lately.

  • I heard Grabby scored a shorty late in Sabreland to pickpocket a point last night.
  • He's still a smurf fucker.

  • The GiantMexicanTits experiment was a disaster, each of them finishing -2. Who knows which sap is next up in the rotation. BGL, maybe? Freakin' Stewie??

  • TurtlePleks doesn't suck - he's actually good now. Until I said that (reverse jink).
  • Or does Halloween mean the return of ZombiePleks from the (un)dead?

  • A second liner Mad Max is not. Then again, I may have been a bit casual in tagging CHips as a career AHLer. Maybe. Not sure. Same with Stewie.

  • BFW(tm) gets the start.

  • To answer your question: Big Fat Whale, Carey Price. (Come on, I know it's blatant gimmick infringement of a colleague (sorry 4) but I can't get enough of that joke. "Cari is a big fat wale". Heh.)

  • The scariest thing about it being October 31 is that February 2010 is still on long way off and so is Markov.

  • Did I mention Leafs suck? God I love saying that. Please let them finish last even if it means the Bruins get a number one pick - the B's tend to give those away like candy on Halloween anyway.

  • Both teams playing their third game in four nights, so we may see some goals. These and other actual game preview-like thoughts over at a CBC.ca blog.

  • Rather than leave your home to visit a gentleman's club, stay home, surf the net and look at some ladies who, while intellectual and sharp as I'm sure they are, may be there the next time you decide to go out to such a club.

  • Oh yeah, and happy Halloween, Habs fans. Let's hope the Habs show more talent and effort than Panger's pumpkin carving



(You can't see it but on the other side is a pumpkin face with a Habs tuque on. More evidence that Habs Rule: this pumpkin was entered in a Calgary office contest and won.)

Let's hears the screams and cries from all you Boils and Ghouls roaming out there this All Hallow's Eve in the comments.

168 comments:

moeman said...

Sympathy For The Dou¢Harek

Please allow me to re-introduce myself
I'm now a man of wealth but no taste
I was around for long, long years
Stole many a Habs fan's soul and faith

And I was 'round when Jesus Price

Had his moments of doubt and pain

Made damn sure that my agent

Watched my back and sealed my fate

Not so pleased to meet you

Hope you guess my fucking name

But what's puzzling you

Is the nature of my lousy game

I stuck around Rue Ste. Catherine

Then I saw it was a time for a CHange

Killed the Czarbo and his administers

Anti-CHambre screamed in vain

Markov is the CH's tank
Me, 
I held a coaCH's rank

When the opposition raged

And our defense stank

Not so pleased to meet you

Hope you guess my fucking name

But what's puzzling you

Is the nature of my lousy game

I now watch with glee

While your Tits and Gui!

Play for only ten minutes

For the goofs they made

The leaf media shouts out

"Who killed the real Komi?"

When after all

I'm what you really see

Let me re-introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and no taste
I lay a crap for the ACC visitors
Who kill when they reach our blue line

Not so pleased to meet you

Hope you guess my fucking name

But what's freaking you

Is the nature of my lousy game

Not so pleased to meet you

Hope you guess my fucking name

But what's confusing you

Is the nature of my lousy game

Just as every traitor is a criminal

And all you FHF sinners think you're saints

As my head flies off it's handle

Just call me, Lucic's bitCH


'Cause now as a leaf, I'm in need of some restraint

So if you meet me

Have some FHF courtesy

Have some fucking sympathy, and some fucking taste

Use all your well-learned fucking politesse

Fuck it, just lay my $oul to waste, um yeah

Not so pleased to meet you

Hope you guess my fucking name

But what's confusing you

Is the nature of my lousy game

Woo, who

Oh yeah, get on down

Oh yeah

Oh yeah!

Tell me lg, what's his name

Tell me GG, baby guess his name

Tell me Moey, what's his name


I'll tell you this time, Burkie's to blame

Ooo, who

Ooo, who

Ooo, who

Ooo, who, who

Ooo, who, who

Ooo, who, who

Ooo, who, who


Oh, yeah

What's my name

Tell me, Cherry, what's my name

Tell me, PeeAir, what's my name

Ooo, who, who

Ooo, who, who

Ooo, who, who

Ooo, who, who

Ooo, who, who

Ooo, who, who

Ooo, who, who

Oh, yeah

(hnic studio chatter)

Posted too early/late?

HabsFan29 said...

Panger that pumpkin rules!!!

and it looks to be setting up in the defensive zone. we could use him

HabsFan29 said...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

or

DOOOOOOOOOUCCHHHEEEEE

just warming up

HabsFan29 said...

the more i sing that moeman the more i realize how awesome it is. Jesus Price, the Czarbo, Lucic's bitCH, etc. amazing. AND it's got me fired up. +1

moeman said...

All in FHFun HF29, glad to be part of this fucking FHFun team. GO HABS!

HabsFan29 said...

the crowd seems edgy and tense

HabsFan29 said...

my eyes hurt already

lehab said...

pajamas again. Does this mean they will shit the bed again?

moeman said...

60/40, really Jim? STFU!

HabsFan29 said...

btw Panger good job on that naming of the starting goalie in the preview

Robbie said...

oh fuck fuck fuck..not the pyjams..fuck Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo

HabsFan29 said...

who's Chip-chair-a, huhgson?

Robbie said...

can we please please burn those fucking clown costumes ..i'm waiting for Laliberte to show up from space

HabsFan29 said...

I'll give you credit for that Oh brother where art thou comment Jim

moeman said...

Hilarious flic.

moeman said...

Why the smugness @ hnic announcers?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
OUTSTANDING!! I'm finally getting it.

I think I might apply to the marketing department at Hab World. My first directive will be to burn those fuckin ugly pajama unis and fire everyone involved who thought it was a good idea to have them in a real hockey game. Our slide started right around the time we wore these monstrously hideous jokes last Feb 1. The blinding hypnotic glare caused Lang to go down with a torn Achilles heel. Yes. The Achilles heel. Seems our marketing dept is just that. Our Achilles heel. Fucktards!

HabsFan29 said...

pls god let the PP work for a change

moeman said...

New word for da Habs PP, Habshazard.

kevincrumbs said...

Gu:( on the PP? Really?

HabsFan29 said...

decline, decline!

Baroque said...

ESPN paid attention to hockey today. They did a "Top 10 Scariest Uniforms" and these convict duds were one of three hockey jerseys on it.

They were ranked worse than the Islanders' fisherman things, but better than the Canucks' big V uniforms (which were mentioned as only needing a cape to complete the superhero look).

moeman said...

@kc, nice use of the Gu:(

Let's turn that upside down frown around Gui!

WV = fectounk, as in the sound of don cherry taking a dump in the cbc in-house shitter before coming on air to spew his leaf love...

Robbie said...

Is there a costume party tonight after the game at Wanda's cause the Habs are ready to go.

kevincrumbs said...

Fuck this shit. Why is a Hab going off for Exelby being a douchebag?

kevincrumbs said...

Nick check on Gio from behind...

moeman said...

Dou$harek in overalls.

kevincrumbs said...

The Urologist sucks at playing D

moeman said...

heh, hnic's leaf nugget finder hughson, "It's a 4 on 2".

kevincrumbs said...

Well, we've been running around like headless chickens in our own zone, so no surprise that we have to kill a penalty now.

moeman said...

hnic's jim just called Jaro, Jaro....

moeman said...

So far, good goalie CHoice by Jacques.

Baroque said...

It would be nice if Montreal played a little bit of defense to help Jaro out a bit. He's all alone out there.

moeman said...

Imagine being the cbc video geek and being asked to pull a grabasski highlite reel. Too fucking weird.

kevincrumbs said...

Stewie mugging Komi. Haha.

moeman said...

OK period.

Must (find a way to) score goals.

Hire The Flower as O-coaCH? Before the 2015 Trembmond does!!!

Also, did teh goof (see lyrics above) Gui! and BigTits even play this period?

GoldenGirl11 said...

Between Cherry and those uniforms I think I'm getting vertigo.

moeman said...

cherry is seriously drunk, NTTIAWWT.

Also, Amaretto on ice, is nice.

kevincrumbs said...

@moeman: I'd be happy if Cherry was drunk because it would explain some of the crap that comes out of his mouth.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Stuck watching Hockey Night in Toronto IN Toronto and it's painful.
Cherry's rants:
1. Leafs are great
2. Leafs are great
3. Ont boys who play for other teams
4. H1N1
5. Fallen soldiers

cottoneye said...

So... The Gionta hit (that no one noticed exept Grapes) was dirty but the Ladd hit on D'Agostini was a-ok? Like, for reals!??!?

Baroque said...

I can't even listen to Don Cherry - my plan was to flip over to game three of the World Series, only to find it is in a rain delay and Ozzie bleeping Guillen is yakking on the even-more-interminable pregame show.

At least I have plenty of leftover Halloween chocolate to get through it - I had plenty of kids at the door, but I always get a ton of candy because I don't want to run out. :)

moeman said...

@kc, cherry is drunk, no doubt about it.

Having typed that and believing that cherry is horrendously biased and I think he pats his own back by mentioning people/soldiers, that die in sad circumstances, I give all our military members a heartfelt kudos for serving our country and their cause. I may be anti-war and in another extent anti-military but I have no problem respecting those that lay their life on the line for their line of work.

lawyergirl77 said...

Dear Habs - while I would love for you to get a goal, I would settle for you winning a FUCKING FACEOFF!!!!

Yours sincerely,

LG77

P.S. I know it's Halloween and all but my eyes are bleeding from seeing the two scariest (ugliest) unis in the NHL onte ice at the same time.

(at least there aren't that many leafs fans in section 315 tonight. This section is usually overrun. Fucking season ticket scalpers....)

moeman said...

@cottoneye, good catcH on cherry's bias. He is paid to to that.

kevincrumbs said...

Great work, Urologist.

HabsFan29 said...

kill me

kevincrumbs said...

FUCKING UROLOGIST.

kevincrumbs said...

Stewart of all people gets a breakaway. What a fucking waste.

moeman said...

Wow, hughson is paid to be a wad?

Not Geoff Molson said...

@moeman

Amazing job with the Sympathy for the Devil

moeman said...

Métro!

kevincrumbs said...

Metro!

Also, Patches has looked good this game and in Chicago. Fuck you CBC for your disdainful commentary.

HabsFan29 said...

nice quick comeback

good job vesa

Baroque said...

What a completely bizarre shot.

moeman said...

MOEmaN with the assist!

kevincrumbs said...

As much as I want someone to deck Komi, we've got to keep our composure and not draw penalties for baiting Komi.

copyranter said...

Clean hit.

GoldenGirl11 said...

I can't believe what I just heard. They just said the Douche let up on Metro so it was a nice thing. Not for real.

moeman said...

@Not Geoff Molson, thnx, bonus for me is it is my fave song of all time (close 2nd is Marley's 'Three Little Birds'). Nothing like lyrical poetry that makes one wonder and think about the time they live in).

HabsFan29 said...

oh god not that stupid over the glass AGAIN

kevincrumbs said...

FUCK ME. Another delay of game?

This is what you get for singing the Ole song during a PK, Bell Centre!

kevincrumbs said...

Jaro!

moeman said...

Best crowd in hockey.

Also, Habs should Halloween it up and CHange jerseys for the 3rd period.

Baroque said...

How was that not a penalty? He CLEARLY hooked him!

kMAXX said...

OMG can these CBC guys get more biased!? Fuck I hate everthing about the Laffs. Why did we bother even showing up? We just killed a 5 on 3 and not a fuckin word about that!!!!!

kevincrumbs said...

Fucking blind refs

HabsFan29 said...

at least squid's playing with emotion

oooh, pleks

moeman said...

Wow, get a goon's stick shoved up your helmet and get penalized. Wow.

HabsFan29 said...

love that slow motion PK

kevincrumbs said...

Jaro again.

Heroic PK.

moeman said...

"Penalty killers are barely moving now."

Was does that mean?

hughson and simpson are reading a fucking $cript. Fucktardian $hill$.

Kmaxx said...

He just said "pitch forked to the ice" - What a fuckin' biased mother ...I cannot believe how one sided this broadcast is being called. I thought the C in HNIC stood for Canada - Didn't think it was HNIT!!!

kevincrumbs said...

Come on Bell Centre, bring on the Vesa chants.

Fuck you Leafs, fuck you CBC!

moeman said...

All-around sweet.

HabsFan29 said...

finally some pure laine action for BR

Baroque said...

Does Latendresse get his exclamation point back now? :)

Kmaxx said...

Fuck You Doush!!!!!

moeman said...

Time for another batCH of Amarettotinis (Amaretto+pineapple juice+cranberry juice+line splash).

moeman said...

lime

moeman said...

GILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HabsFan29 said...

WOOOOOOOOOO

kevincrumbs said...

Oh. My. God. Was that Gill?

Also, fuck you Beauchemin.

moeman said...

Squid-flected!!!!!!!!!!

moeman said...

No Squid action, all GILL!!!!!!!!!

Baroque said...

I didn't know that squid and leafs were natural enemies.

moeman said...

Nice goal, even better check by Cammi on Beau$hadouche. heh, friedman, apologizing for douchemin.

kevincrumbs said...

Also, Squid didn't want to play on a loser for five years. Fuck you, CBC. Smurfy line? Better than your garbage.

HabsFan29 said...

how are we getting a penalty out of this?

HabsFan29 said...

goddamnit

kevincrumbs said...

Fucking Leafs.

moeman said...

Who fuckin' cares, cheap leaf freebie from da refs. Oh, wait, cbc/hnic announcers care. Wonder why. Fucktards.

Baroque said...

how are we getting a penalty out of this?

Because that will give Toronto a chance to tie it again?

moeman said...

Man, I'm likin' our boy CHips' game.

kevincrumbs said...

What is with the fucking camera work tonight? You'd think they'd never broadcasted hockey before.

HabsFan29 said...

just thinking the same thing moeman. like a real NHL'er now

HabsFan29 said...

some good hating tonight

kevincrumbs said...

I agree, Chips looks great.

I'm just glad that as an American, none of my tax dollars go to Craig Simpson and Jim Hughson.

moeman said...

I'm gonna go semipurewoolyester for a bit here, Gui! and Laps, @ home, in la Belle Ville (the city of the MOST beautiful women, (like our own lg77, GG11 and Moey) need to dig deep and find their BBR balls and beat these fucking Ville Reine assholes where it hurts, in the alley, yup, Conn Smyhte's fucking alley. the same Smythe who's trophy bears the name of many, many, many CHers. GO HABS!

kmaxx said...

I'm sitting in my living room in the UK streaming hnic on the interent and waiting for the Hot Stove...but dreading how much they will want to blow someone who works for Toronto...man oh man - things haven't changed in a lot of years! Go Habs Go!

lawyergirl77 said...

The penalty that lead to their second goal was horseshit. How are they allowed to beat on our guys after they score???

Reffing has sucked for both teams but it has sucked slightly more for us. As usual. Sigh.

moeman said...

Um, sorry for da typo, I meant THE, MOST, BEAUTIFUL, WOMEN.

moeman said...

All this NHLPA garbage is;

- based on most playas involved from Toronto

- most of the exiled, exiled by people in Toronto

- most of the legal types (apologies to the FHF law types) are from Toronto

- most of the media yippers that have no clue are from Toronto (should healey be even commenting? biased much glen?)

- find the simihilarities kidz

Olivier said...

Am I the only one to be amazed at how much time "teh hotte stove" is spending on discussing the Players Association's issue?

I mean, not a single soul on earth gives a boring fuck about the PA, including the players.

Jeebus.

Kmaxx said...

Hey Moe - since when has integrity ever played a part in a HNIC broadcast - Healy was a shit 2nd string goalie and a even worse as a "non biased" CBC pundit. The solution is simple - Hang Bettman and be done with it!

moeman said...

@Olivier, the hotstovers have a huge sense of self-importance. Wonder where the show is broadcast from ...

Also, when Mike Milburied is your best bet at a potential pundit worth putrid points your past has passed you by (except for leaf fan cuz they worship shit).

heehee, simpson finds something else to slag our Habs.

HabsFan29 said...

OH FUCK NOT AGAIN MAKE THE GLASS HIGHER

kevincrumbs said...

AGAIN!? Do these millionaires not learn anything?

moeman said...

@Kmaxx, healy is loved by his CotU cohorts.

Oh look a leaf PP for no reason and the hnicers just fucking love it. Sick.

kevincrumbs said...

Just what we need, another Dman injured.

HabsFan29 said...

whew

kevincrumbs said...

Can someone just injure Colton Orr already?

moeman said...

Also, name me one, one, hnic'er that has integrity, one;

- mclame - he live$ to fill his wine cellar with leaf love vintages

- cole - he has a PHd in sucking leaf dry

- friedman - he makes every attempt at making forgettable leaf memorable (for leaf fan)

- hughson - sadly a decent playByplayer has bought into the $hit, contract clau$e?

- simpson - toepicker

- healey - realey?

- LeBrun, rename him TheBrown and be done with him

- pjstock - heh

- Al Strachran - nice try for the real fan bud, see ya

- moronson - slimy fuck with an even slimier fuck beard

- marek - another CotU wannabe leafrimjobber

- warnsby - see kidz, you just gotta keep up, google it

- cherry - I never, ever, say anything negative about my gay friends, even those that are leaf fans, they may enjoy the ecstasy differently than I do (butt its close)

...

moeman said...

HAMR!!!!!!!!!

Sausage!!!!!!

HabsFan29 said...

Hamr!

kevincrumbs said...

Habs! Hamr!

HabsFan29 said...

bouncy bouncy

moeman said...

trouncy trouncy?

moeman said...

Neat how cbc/hnic goes to commercial so fats after a CH goal. Just, fucking, weird.

Kmaxx said...

Hey - that adds a -1 to Doush's stats!

moeman said...

For fun the Bell Centre game star guy/gal should give the 1st star to Hal Fucking Gill, 2nd to Squid and Turd to Dou$harek.

Then the team meets at centre ice, pulls off the barber pole jerseys and starts a fucking bonfire of the vanities.

HabsFan29 said...

quality pylon impression Hal

kevincrumbs said...

So, is it okay to call Kessel "One Ball"?

moeman said...

As I type that hughsonofabitch™ sarcastically says Gill currently has the winning goal. Fucktard.

Also, kudos to coacH Martin for starting Jaro. No trick, all treat.

kevincrumbs said...

Gui! playing like Gu:( on his last shift.

kevincrumbs said...

Patches is playing really well.

HabsFan29 said...

STOP FUCKING SINGING

THERE YOU GO ASSHOLES

moeman said...

@kc, it is an easy nickname but seeing as we all have victims of the big 'C' we should be careful. I like calling him burke jr., for no other reason than he looks like a young burke, ugly. (Maybe why he was signed by the leaf, a team known for very ugly on/off-ice players/mng't).

~~~

It is only the leaf but what a good 3rd period.

~~~

4-3

~~~

cbc is happier al of a sudden ...

HabsFan29 said...

now we're holding on for dear life cause of that fucking early singing

kevincrumbs said...

@moeman: I agree. Too bad he didn't lose a ball in a farming accident or something.

Why do the Leafs look like they're on a PP?

kevincrumbs said...

@HF29: No, we're holding on because this team can't close out a game.

moeman said...

heh, kakaberle shoots wide and simpson says it was a planned play, STFU you leaf lover.

HabsFan29 said...

im in hell

moeman said...

There ya go. Life sometimes suck.

kevincrumbs said...

God, these fucking...

FUCK ME. Leafs score while I'm handing out Halloween candy.

Somehow I doubt CBC will have many excuses for Jaro as opposed to Vesa.

Kmaxx said...

WTF!!!!!!

moeman said...

Newest Habs fan enemy #1 , craig simpson, buttered leaf lover.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@LG
they're all yours. Ugh!

@kev
WTF is ringing your bell at 9:45?

HabsFan29 said...

what a disappointing point

Anonymous said...

will the crowd ever learn ? singing ole and goodbye ?? talk about the ultimate mush. shut. the. fuck. up.

moeman said...

This should've been over in the 2nd. Embarrassing. Listening to craig simpson smirk is sickening.

These cbc'ers are a sick bunch.

kevincrumbs said...

@GG11: I'm on Pacific Standard Time. Still, stop ringing the doorbell in OT!

lawyergirl77 said...

We deserve this OT for the singing during a 2-goal lead. I blame the asshole fans. Sigh.

So many fights in the stands tonight. Crazy.

moeman said...

Be safe lg77.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@keV
do what I do. Put a bucket outside with a sign that says "take some and leave some. Go Habs. Sorry. Overtime"

moeman said...

Add an 'e' to Gill's name.

moeman said...

Do we or don't we want the Bruins to get that 1st (lottery) pick?

kevincrumbs said...

I really refuse to blame the fans for singing during a two goal lead, late in the 3rd on Halloween.

I blame the guys on the ice for not sealing the deal.

HabsFan29 said...

i am not looking forward to this

GoldenGirl11 said...

This is all just painful

moeman said...

Squid!

kevincrumbs said...

Squid! Seafood goodness!

kevincrumbs said...

Jaro! Sausage!

moeman said...

Jaro 1.0!

moeman said...

MEX!

kevincrumbs said...

Gomer! Mexico! Alaska!

HabsFan29 said...

olé!

same spot

moeman said...

Jaro 1.0 encore!!!

HabsFan29 said...

i guess i'll take it

moeman said...

FUCK!

DA!

LEAF!

and

CBC/HNIC!

FUCKERS!

lehab said...

1993 lives on!

kevincrumbs said...

Habs win while I'm handing out candy! Thank God this shit is only once a year.

moeman said...

Beauty result. Gives the stupid cbc/fuckers a glimmer, then pfffttt...and the Bs get some added hope to bag a top 5 pick because the leaf are that fucking bad. Burke is a genius and Dou$harek is a fucking traitor.

Kmaxx said...

Any win against the Laffs is a good thing...wasn't as pretty as it should have been but at least it was 2 points. Fuck you CBC and HNIC - try a bit of impartiality next time - or any time really - Toronto hasn't been the "home to Hockey" in Canada for a lifetime - Deal with it!

moeman said...

heh, on da tsn CHat, da sad leafers are calling our boy Squid scamallerri. So funny, yet truly fucking sad, these fucktrads form the fucking CotU. Imagine if the cbc catered to those fucktards.

~~~

Next 3 are ATL-NJ-B's.

Olivier said...

Jeebus, that was brutal. Not only the shirts and reffing, but I suspect somebody laced the producer's candies with acid... I mean, they lost track of the puck so many times, it reminded me when we play in Nashville...

Ba-dum ba

Thank you ladies and gentlemen, I'll be here all week long.

Anonymous said...

Can I just say - its not the shirts that are the problem. Its the fucking socks!

sherloq said...

"Na na naaa na hey-ay ay good,,Shit!

Fucking rich!