Saturday, October 17, 2009

Habs Lose to Sens - Oh Wait, This is A Preview: Habs about to lose to Sens


Which No. 27 would you pick? Yeah, me too.*

Waiting in line details - 7pm start at the new Forum. RDS and CBC in Quebec and the Ottawa area. (Which means HF10 is stuck watching Leafs and Rangers. Haha. Oh wait, me too. Fuck.) Sens 4-2 record mirrors Montreal's 2-4 debacle. Habs coming off another loss - this one at home just to shake things up - while the Sens enjoyed the trip to Montreal after destroying the Lightning 7-1. So they're due for a letdown, right? Right?

Pay your cover charge to - As always, we heart Five for Smiting. We enjoy a sexy party with Senators Lost Cojones any day. Perhaps tonight in the VIP room...

Hot sexy Habs to watch - TurtlePlek is the Habs' leading scorer. Big Tits has 3 points in three games and has looked Kovalev-ish at times (AT TIMES, people - I'm not saying he's L'Artiste or anything). Hottest thing about the Habs is definitely Carey Price's new mask. Most bad-ass Habs goalie mask ever - and a far cry from the pussy-looking ghosts on Huet's mask of a few years ago.

Skanky Habs to watch - As HF29 said last time: Everyone else? Anyone notice that Squid doesn't have a goal yet? Just asking.

Hot sexy Sens to watch - Milan Michalek made Sens fans forget Dany Heatley (ok, maybe they still hate him a little) with a hat trick. We should also mention former Habs pick and cast off Matt Carkner is apparently rocking the back end for Ottawa.

But most importantly, this is Alexei Kovalev's much-hyped return to Montreal after a 4-year run with the Canadiens. It's been beat to death everywhere else, so we'll just say we're not looking forward to his hat trick tonight - each goal via his signature top corner shot from the right faceoff circle. Damn, I used to love that play. That or he'll be invisible after the crowd's warm reception. Whatever, we're still a little sad to see him in a Sens uniform.

Skanky Sens to watch - They're coming off a 7-1 win, so not a whole lot. Chris Campoli has no points yet, which, for a supposedly offensive defenceman, probably isn't very good. I wonder when he'll blame Coach Clousten and ask for a trade to Anaheim?

Not Appearing on the main stage tonight - No lineup changes annonced for the Habs yet (TFS (tm) starts in goal again) which means Max Pac's injury isn't bad enough to keep him out of the lineup. Shawn Belle goes again after a pretty solid outing against the Avs. Sens are pretty healthy, with only Filip Kuba definitely out tonight.

In the VIP Room - Habs suck right now. Let's not sugar coat this. Yeah, they got some bad bounces against the Avs, but they didn't bury their chances when they had the opportunity and let the Avs back into the game. Not blaming My Boy Carey, but it'd be nice if he could steal one tonight, if need be. Sens, meanwhile, are in for a letdown after such a big win. Right? Right? (I figure repeating it enough will make it true.)

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - We're picking Cafe Cleopatra for this one (NSFW, duh). Win, and the boys get a pervert's row view from the ground floor. Lose, and it's up to the 2nd floor for all of them. SLC is picking up our bar tab either way - cause he stole our Kovy.

*As always, photoshopping courtesy of GG11. Please note the Linesbabe. Thank you GG11, I can now hope Linesbabe shows up to ref one of my rec hockey games. So what if I end up giving up 15 goals - as long as I get to ogle her. Let's hear your dirty thought in the comments.

146 comments:

moeman said...

Welcome back, your agent was your ticket out.

Welcome back, to that same old place that you still care about.


Well the names have all changed since you spun around,

But 25th dreams have remained and they’ll be turned around. (soon, we hope)

 
Who’d have thought we’d plead for you AK!  (Who’d have thought we’d plead for you AK!)

Back here where we need ya  (Here where we need ya)

 
Yeah we teased him a lot cause with Bob he took a trot, 
Welcome back.


Yeah he freaked us all out when tucker's face was all snot, 

Welcome back.


Yeah he pleased us a lot when his shot was on the spot, 

Welcome back.


Welcome back Kovy. Welcome back. Welcome back Kovy. Welcome back.
You InGlorieux Bastage.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Hey, whoa, whoa, WHOA! I said I'd buy a round. Kovy hasn't done that much, yet.

See you at puck drop, ladies and gentlemen. This one should be fun! Well, for one of us, anyway.

GoldenGirl11 said...

I'm guessing that l'Artiste shows up tonight big time. When he's on the spot he always shows up. Remember that car he won (and donated to his charity) at the all star game? Now he has an agenda
1. to show Bob what he lost
2. show the fans that he is still the guy who can put on a show
3. And most of all be named first star so he can hear the Bell cheers when he takes his skate

A little tiny part of me hopes that he gets that hat trick... but that we score 4, of course.

@33
WickedSkatewear.com for your local hockey ref

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
and let's hope the sweathogs don't show up! Up the Sens noses with a rubba hoses.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Just pray no one knocks Kovy's helmet off...

moeman said...

Dear Habs,

Please get Jacques his first win at home.

Signed,

Jacques Martin's mother


P.S. Why does Gui! always look so fucking confused?!

Also, Go Mr. Woodman!

moeman said...

... forgot to mention that Mrs. Kotter wasn't Bailey-Quarters-hot but she did have a cougarish prowl about her.

GoldenGirl11 said...

and Epstein and Gomez bare a striking resemblance. I think that's, uh, a good omen?

Number31 said...

There's no Kovalove from me tonight. When you play against the Habs, all bets are off. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Actually I'm going out to dinner so no game for me... Maybe I'll be home in time for a Third Period Bonanza(tm).

HabsFan29 said...

would it be racist to say Shawn Belle looks like Boom Boom Washington? Probably, so i won't say it.

I am not optimistic SLC won't be taunting us all night

I have some great stories about the ground floor of Cleo's. but this is a family blog I hear

moeman said...

Congrats to l'Impacte de Montréal.

GoldenGirl11 said...

So Bob walks into the Sens locker room holding a duck. He looks at Kovy and says "this is the pig I screwed". Shocked, Kovy says "Bob! that's a duck, not a pig!" to which Bob replies "I was talking to the duck". (that joke works a hell of a lot better when Bob is just a guy and Kovy is the guy's wife).

HabsFan29 said...

@moeman - that was impressive. after a beginning of the season where i worried if they would even make the playoffs. mazel tov indeed. or at least congratulazioni

Moey said...

Mr. Moey is watching the game with me tonight, God help me, I've hidden the remote in case he nods off.

moeman said...

@HF29, great comeback by l'Impacte considering their weak seasonal start (an omen?) Also, two Canadian teams playing an important game, did the cbc dare to broadcast it? Oh wait the TFC is on. Same old from the fucktards at MotherCorp.

~~~

Moey, care to tell us (maybe just a hint?) where you've 'hidden' the remote?

~~~

Also, decided to (mistakenly) click onto rds 'Le Journal des CANADIENS', and they are still talking about the nondiques. Bunch of fucking purelainers.

moeman said...

Fart warning; Carbo on cbc tonight.

Moey said...

@moeman,

It was easy. There are so many places/things that he never goes near, e.g. the kitchen, the laundry basket, the washer/dryer, the vacume etc, he's still living in the fifties, but I draw the line at vacuming in high heels.

HabsFan29 said...

Ron MacLean asking the hard questions of Carbo!

Kovy "didn't really want to listen". big surprise

moeman said...

@Moey, with all due respect, do you vacuum in an apron?

~~~

... live-blogging (can someone dead-blog?) the cbschilling;

~ Cassie sent to cover the Habs, heh (and not liking the shorter hair)

~ mclame brings up burke, why?

~ Carbo says Kovy and he played golf, together!

~ heh, pjamastock yips, in 1 ear, out the other

~ milburied, can one 'trust Kovalev', this from one of the least trustworthy GMs, ever

~ Carbo, 'battled' with his own players, eesh

~ mclame says Kovy missed Ribiero, never heard this lie before

~ ugly-tie pjamastock, Habs are 'outweighed', idiot, what an annoying wad

~ Cassie talks to Cammi, Cassie is still kinda cute but man does she lead with open-ended questions

~ on to the horrid leaf

~ haharudey loves the dodgeballing, is teabagging next (NTTIAWWT)

~ milburied wants XXX-balldodging to be closed to the public

~ beauchemin (man is he fucking short or what?) yips with friedman and yaps about not knowing anything

~ 90s night at the CotU, too fucking funny, also KERRY FRASER!

~ mclame rips blake but splooges over skirt-wearing-stajan (no offense to skirt wearers of all/any sex)

~ milburied says ron 'USA!USA!USA!' wilson shoulda benched himself = + 1/67th

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
but you are watching the game wearing nothing but a Saran wrap apron I hope!

moeman said...

@GG!!, O M G ! quit giving Mr. Moey tips and/or ideas. Hopefully ideas...

Also, Go Habs!

~~~

Half-way thru the spicy Aussie Syrah.

GoldenGirl11 said...

DrGG watching tonight too. So annoying. It'll give you all a mental break if I'm gone for a while. Enjoy.

moeman said...

Gionta, Gomez take on Kovy's loge


by Dave Stubbs


Brian Gionta and Scott Gomez will be partners in the sponsorship of Loge 5.05 at the Bell Centre, for many seasons a respite for ill and underprivileged children and their families for Canadiens games.

Alex Kovalev stepped in when José Theodore, the original "owner" of the loge, was traded to Colorado. On Monday, Gionta and Gomez will be formally introduced as the prime tenants. Throughout the season, they'll welcome kids from hospitals and others who have less in their lives for a great night of hockey, snacks and souvenirs at the Bell Centre.

moeman said...

cbc's mudrake&moronsson says Bs Lucy is hurt. Dou$harek breathes sigh of releaf.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Sexist pigism is one of the few things I've rarely been accused of, but I think a woman vacuuming in high heels is pretty hot!

Evening all. Ready to do this thing?

HabsFan29 said...

are we losing yet?

let's do this.

oh benoit you look so smug

moeman said...

Saran Wrap me SLC.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

29... *squints menacingly*

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Moeman: Throw in a bottle of Mazola oil and you've got yourself a party.

moeman said...

@SLC, I'll bring the Twister mat. Hope you're flexible.

moeman said...

rds is actually showing OUR national anthem. Wow.

Moey said...

@moeman, to tell the truth I don't vacume either. I love cooking but hate housework. I have someone who comes in to do it.

@GG,

Of course, but it's a bit nippy in here! Might need to put some socks on or get Mr. Moey to light a fire.

moeman said...

Cammi, on skates, barely taller than The Pocket Rocket.

HabsFan29 said...

fuck im feeling queasy

oh god squid may never score

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Well...that was, er, exciting.

moeman said...

@Moey, "get Mr. Moey to light a fire", have fun with or without Saran.

moeman said...

Also, when it gets 'nippy' does one put on extra socks or an extra sweater? Just axin'.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Dear gawd, but Carbo is brutal in the booth.

moeman said...

@SLC, Carbo at the Bell Centre (aka The Phone Booth) = est-tu brutal.

moeman said...

ouCH.

HabsFan29 said...

fuck fuck fuck

Senators Lost Cojones said...

SWEET!

HabsFan29 said...

"CHips loses his stick" (trans.). who's boy is he now?

Rips it, scores! said...

Blargh. :(

chris nilan said...

chris neil? really?

boob gainey said...

Chipchura fans should pay attention.

he won't be in the NHL much longer.

moeman said...

harpo is at the game. We are doomed.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Was that a goal on the second shot? Oy fuckin vay.

moeman said...

Nice Stella Artois ad.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Wow. Didn't think we had it in us.

boob gainey said...

I miss Kovy.

moeman said...

@SLC, you didn't feel that?

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Moe: if you're referring to the blocked shots, yes. Yes I did.

moeman said...

@SLC, yes the blocked shots, thats a lot of pounding without a score.

kevincrumbs said...

This team sucks. Can't score on a long, long 5 on 3, can't score with seven guys on the ice. Putrid PP. Can we trade Gill, Chips and Dagger for Streit?

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Moe: You just summed up my prom

Senators Lost Cojones said...

blargh

HabsFan29 said...

FINALLY

moeman said...

@SLC, +/- the Schnapps.

Also, 1-1.

kevincrumbs said...

Garbage goal but beggars can't be choosers.

Rips it, scores! said...

Squid!!!! Gotta break your duck somehow.

Now to build on this and play a not-terrible second period.

PS: The new Vertigo goal song is the worst yet.

kevincrumbs said...

Squid just broke his duck. Woo!

Montrealiste1 said...

SWEET.

Heard during the CBC's game preview:

"The Leafs' players got Hammered in Washington... On the scoreboard that is."

Anyone listening to CBC? Wtf, Carbo is horrible, he mumbles half the time.

Rips it, scores! said...

@SLC: Only I may blargh.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Take that Hitler!

moeman said...

Well period 1 = some fun foreplay, onto the fun stuff ...

moeman said...

@Montrealiste1, Carbo is more use to his throng of salivating Francophone media-hoard telling him how great a CoaCH he was, methinks the cbc lesser-game crew have little clue to his incredible importance in Quebec.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

If I listen long enough, Don might almost form a complete sentence.

moeman said...

cherry is the perfect emblem of the crazy leaf fan; old, red-faced, over-dressed, arrogant, idiotic, homer, paid-by-cbc, never won a Cup, breathes thru the mouth, friend of ron, 20/20er, fake, never ever mentions hot babes, ever

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Moe: We also would have accepted "Brian Burke".

moeman said...

@SLC, good point.

boob gainey said...

Atrocious ref.

boob gainey said...

Are we playing with 5 D?

HabsFan29 said...

aw crap

Senators Lost Cojones said...

ALFIE!

And Kovy with the assist. And so it begins...

boob gainey said...

Gainey Out!

kevincrumbs said...

Knew this would happen. Fucking piece of shit PK. Also, I predict a total collapse for the rest of the evening. Maybe 45 shots on Leclaire and the one goal with Carey letting in four.

kevincrumbs said...

What's the fucking delay, asshole refs?

boob gainey said...

So another game where we will hear how we outplayed the other team and didn't get the bounces.

In fairness, both those penalty calls were lame.

moeman said...

gary 'not so nice suit' galley (and his stupid sidekick) should just shut the fuck up.

boob gainey said...

Dive.

moeman said...

Nice dive.

moeman said...

Beer me boob.

kevincrumbs said...

@Boob: This must all be karma for the Moen goal in Buffalo that wasn't a goal at all.

If Ottawa scores the next one, I'm done with this game. I regret buying Center Ice this year.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Ladies and gentlemen, you've just witnessed Erik Karlsson's most significant contribution this year.

moeman said...

Wow.

kevincrumbs said...

Come on, call that fucking hook on Lapierre!

Good save by Cari the Fat Whale.

moeman said...

bobcole is cumming golden Senator jizz(in his pants).

GoldenGirl11 said...

Season 101, episode 7
The fans awaken from a dream only to find that kovy is really a hab and everything that happened in the summer was just her dream world. Molson doesn't have to go far to find grounds to fire Bob. JM tries to take his mind off his problems with the second period of every fucking game. Sue Ellen's future plans are still uncertain. JR rallies together independent oil producers.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Oh Maxie. You don't want a piece of that, boyo.

moeman said...

Impressions about the small-watCH-it-become-big line tonight;

- Gionta is a plugger and drives to the crease

- Cammi is a scorer, feels good

- ejaculatory thoughts about Gomez are premature

kevincrumbs said...

Is this the part of the game where the D feels like CFW hasn't seen enough shots and just doesn't clear the zone?

moeman said...

I just barfed.

kevincrumbs said...

Great, Harper's cheering for us tonight. I'm sure that will translate into Pleks breaking his leg.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Don't worry Moe. Everybody knows he's a Leaf fan.

Oh, wait...that just makes it worse, doesn't it?

boob gainey said...

5 d-men, 3 of whom are over 35.

Can't be good.

moeman said...

@SLC, thnx, I forgot that, make that a vurp.

moeman said...

bobcole, PHD, "The Ottawa Team". Retire ya old coot ( apologies to old coots across Canada).

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

"Mr Clouston? I've got the 90s on line one - they're asking for their suit back.

moeman said...

100th post. What do I win?

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

"pas de vitesse en zone neutre"

if i had a nickel for every fucking time i've heard that in the last 10 years...

Matt D said...

Another 4th line shift with less than 2 minutes left in a period. I'm glad that BGL is getting more ice this year, but what the hell is Martin doing?

kevincrumbs said...

Horrible second period. The crowd must've fallen asleep as there certainly should've been booing at the end of the second.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Well, that was perfectly...awful. And while we're on the subject, fuck off Carbs.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
100th? Haven't we had enough of that number? I think you win, uh, nothing but a long summer of golf?

moeman said...

@GG11, heh @ 100th and is it me or were you 'gone for awhile' ?

moeman said...

Hey LeBrun, love gaskets are so 2008.

Hey Friedman, nice hair, get some pommade dude.

Hey milburied, can't wait for cherry to kick the proverbial bucket eh?

Hey ron, you're a leaf shill you fucking leaf shill.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Actually DrGG went to check on his 1,000,000 emails for "a sec", missed the second period while I tried to get 3 to stop yelling "KOVY ET LE BUT!" as those were his first words and it's hard to unteach that. Now my soul mate* is reading ObGyn Weekly and throwing in the occasional "what's going on?" to make me think he's paying attention which is driving me nuts.

*total sarcasm

moeman said...

@GG11, does DrGG read 'ObGyn Weekly' for the articles. Sorry but IT was just out there.

Also, 1M emails? Maybe crank up the SPAM filter.

moeman said...

Bs say Lucy has a busted digit and they'll call up, wait for it réjean and bertrand, un Québecois. Merde, alors et taberfuckinaque.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@moe
after all those vaginas at work he actually reads the articles

the emails are from patients and he can't manage them during the day when he sees about 85 women. When hockey gets boring let's talk fucked up health care.

Moey said...

Ahhh. Mr. Moey has left the room. Thank God. I hate watching hockey with him. What's up with these non-hockey fans? He delights in every mistake the Habs make but he was pretty intrigued with my saran wrap apron, but out of spite he's on to nothing unless we win this one.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Mister Mara, may I introduce you to Mister Carkner?

moeman said...

Another weird penalty.

moeman said...

Good PK.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

I think we should start declining penalties. "No, no. That's okay. We're good".

FUCK!!

moeman said...

@SLC, but will you decline 5on3s? Careful.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
not sure what's worse, criticism or disinterest. DrGG just fell asleep. At least he's not on the remote.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Moe: At this point? I'd consider it.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

this has turned into a snooze-fest

moeman said...

@SLC, Habs are known to have iced 7 players on one shift.

moeman said...

There. It. is.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTT!!!!!!!!

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

well, it was inevitable. five loses in a row, that's great.

and now we're cheering the other team's goals. might as well. this can't get much worse.

kevincrumbs said...

Habs suck.

Moey said...

@GG,

All Mr. M keeps saying is how Bobby Orr is the best player that ever played the game. I think thats because the last full game he ever watched was in 1972.

And fuck, the sens score.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

how can price look like roy one second, then racicot the next?

it's uncanny

kevincrumbs said...

Thank God the crowd has started to boo these bums.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Goal. Assist. Fans waving his sweater. I think we're looking at an 82 goal season. In total.

moeman said...

Not blaming Price for this game. Zero team play. Almost everyone is fucking invisible.

moeman said...

Wonder who'll be the game's 1st Star?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
here's what I have:
zzzzzzzzzz hey, who scored, why didn't you wake me? zzzzzzz huh? What time is it? zzzzzzzz

Annoying

Moey said...

These guys can't score, period. I'm pining for the Koivu/Kovy/Tanguay line right now.

Moey said...

Well GG, at least we have FHF and moeman. I don't feel so alone anymore.

moeman said...

Sens have taken advantage of breaks, bounces and bastaged Habs play.

moeman said...

Thnx Moey, I will dream of Saran wrap aprons tonight, hopefully I won't suffocate like our Habs did.

moeman said...

She's all wrapped.

Bonsoir mes ami(e)s.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

I could be magnamous here and say you deserved a much better fate. But I won't.

Sorry, but we really, really need the points.

kevincrumbs said...

I think it's time for us to stop laughing at the Leafs as we're only a couple of bounces away from also being stuck on one point.

This team looked pathetic tonight, especially when they were supposedly trying to come back from a goal down. I have no idea what's wrong with this team. I don't think it's a lack of talent but I also don't know if Martin's system or coaching is to blame.

Going back to last season, when was the last time we won in regulation? When was the last time this team had a two goal lead? When was the last time the whole team played well, instead of the D sucking but Carey playing well or the offense clicking but Carey was like a sieve?

I'm sort of glad we had a game like this tonight where no one can say that we had crappy calls go against us or that we should've pulled it out.

We're really no different than the Leafs.

Moey said...

@moeman,

leafs are losing, it's not all bad.

Martin has to be feeling the heat right now. I think I'm starting to hate Bob Gainey.

moeman said...

@SLC, no magnanimity required, your Sens bagged 2 points despite/because of some lacklustre opponents. Take em' when you can.

@kc, Habs suck less.

@Moey, hating Bob is a bit harsh and I know you don't mean to sound that harsh. Lots of time left but so many players just aren't playing.

boob gainey said...

Gainey Out!

And take Jacques Martin with you!

South Shore Habs Fan said...

I think it's time to swallow our pride and bring back Little Tits.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Fun Fact:
Over the past 7 games, the Habs have scored 15 goals, for an average of 2.14 goals per game. The Impact have scored 13 goals in 6 games, for an average of 2.16 goals per game.

We are being outscored... by a soccer team.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

@SSHF

that wasn't fun at all

Number31 said...

Next game Price will play the point on the powerplay. I swear he can bury it better than those guys.

Habs look like the Wild. Goaltending is not the problem, defence is all scrambly, no one is scoring...and firing staff will bring the team even further to nowhere.

Hey Sergei almost got a hattrick tonight. I wish he'd just grow up already.