Saturday, October 24, 2009

Habs v Rangers Preview


Giggity.

Waiting in line details - after reeling off 7 in a row, the suddenly not-so-hot Rangers roll into the House that Ronald Corey Built tonight at 7pm. Blueshirts coming off a rare loss to those 'jerks in Jersey', as Ranger Fan would probably say; Habs coming off an easy win against the Islandgirls. Game will be broadcast in haute definition on RDS and CBC (in Quebec only). First game against their former team for Gomez, Mara and Chris Higgins.

Pay your cover charge to - Check out Ranger Punit. You must respect a guy who first attended a game in Hitler's lifetime.

Hot sexy Habs to watch - things are going so well (jinx) that we need bullet points to survey the hot sexyness:

  • Martin line juggling finally clicked, and the Canadiens may have found not only 2, but three lines that can score.

  • Mad Max looked good on TurtlePleks' wing, providing some size on the top two lines. Finally.

  • Who knew Metro would turn out to be such a key player. He and Max Pac seem to have some chemistry.

  • Lil'Bergy seemed much more comfortable, especially running the PP.

  • Jaro, as we know, rules. Except playing the puck. Get in your net and stay their, wanderer.

Skanky Habs to watch - Was Gui! demoted to Hamilton and nobody told me? My Boy Carey is wearing a ball cap again tonight.

Hot sexy Rangers to watch - Marian Gaborik's groin has 7 goals, and linemate Vaclav Prospal has 9 assists. 19-year old rookie Micheal Del Zotto (yay! another Wop NHLer!) looks like the second coming of Brian Leech.

Skanky Rangers to watch - Christopher Higgins, welcome back to your accustomed spot in the skanky part of our preview! No goals and a pair of assists all season, and a big fat zero in the last 8 games. Nice to see he's the same player in Red White and Blue as he was in Blue Blanc Rouge. (Of course now he'll pull a Leclair tonight.) King Henry, as usual, has been a key to the Rangers success, but he's given up 4 and a half goals a game over the past 4 in Montreal.

On the main stage - now and presumably until he loses: Jaroslav Halak. And while Carey is still My Boy, this is absolutely how it should be. TFS(tm) will get his chance. Otherwise, JM goes with the same lineup. And why not? Rangers are healthy - well, not counting their mental health on (Avery) and behind (Torts) the bench. (Have I yet mentioned how much I hate Torts and his scape-goalieing ways? Not yet? Consider it done: he's an asshole.)

In the VIP Room - can it be? Dare we dream? Is it possible the Habs may not suck as bad as we first thought? Is it time to admit that maybe the Bob Gainey/Jacques Martin era is not yet a complete and utter disaster?

We'll see. Habs beat a couple of weak teams this week, and while the Rangers may be coming off a couple of losses they should serve as the first big challenge since the west coast swing.

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - unfortunately it doesn't seem to have it's own website, but here's a review of my personal favorite, Cabaret Les Amazones.

Someone let me know whether Picasso's has reopened yet. I miss 3am pizza after the Zones.

99 comments:

boob gainey said...

I think they're still protecting Price.

Imagine if he starts tonight and Gaborik et al. run rings around Hill, Bergeron and Mara.

moeman said...

Best game day pic, ever.

kevincrumbs said...

I'm pissed off (but not surprised) that the Leafs are playing at the same time, despite being out West in Vancouver. Seriously, it would kill the CBC that much to put the Habs on for the first game?

It even pisses me off here in the States as the game will be in HD on NHL Network while I'm stuck with crappy quality SD and fucking MSG or whatever.

E said...

Picassos is sitll closed, but PJ's, right next door to Amazones is good for a brew and some decent bar food.

boob gainey said...

CBC is a Toronto station.

moeman said...

Vancity fans will have an extra 3 hours of pertying tonight thanks to the leaf loving fucktards at cbc/hnic.

HFF33 aka Panger said...

@E: I can barely make it up the stairs when I leave the Zones, there is no way I'm making it across that parking lot to PJ's. Although they do serve a decent breakfast.

Ethan said...

And I completely agree with CBC's douchebaggery, to not only move the Vancouver game to 7 to have a reason not to make ours the National game, but each time sticking us with Bob Cole. Who have the time does not even know hes in fucking Montreal...

GoldenGirl11 said...

@FHF
Best game day pic, ever.

WV: guterz, as in aren't you glad you found me in the guterz?

moeman said...

Gomez comes from AnCHorage, U-S-A
Traded this way with his hef-ty pay-day
Bob plucked his bud Gionta on the way
CHanged jerseys and now they're Habs today
He says hey media, take a walk on the Hab side
Said hey Sergei, take a walk on the Hab side

And the FHF girls go
Doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo doo doo...

Higgins came from out on the Island
In the back room he was everybody's darlin'
But sadly (C)Higgs never got ahead
Maybe his shot needed a bit more lead
He says hey Mex, take a walk on the Hab side
Said hey Mex, take a walk on the Hab side

And the FHF girls go
Doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo doo doo...

Little Jaro only once gave it away
Everybody laughed but Jaro had to pay
A hustle here and he got hustled there
The Bell Centre's the place where
They said OLÉ! babe, take a walk on the Hab side
They said hey Jaro, take a walk on the Hab side

And the FHF girls go
Doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo doo doo...

The NYR came and hit the streets
Lookin' for smoked meat where's da place to eat
Went to the Schwartz resto
Wait in line then its go go go
They said hey Reuben, take a walk on the Hab side
I said hey Reuben, take a walk on the Hab side
All right, mustard

And the FHF girls go
Doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo doo doo...

TFS™'s starts are just speedin' away
Thinks maybe he's Michel Plasse for the day
Then he guesses Jaro's got to crash
Gaborik would've helped that bash
Carey said hey Jaro, take a walk on the Hab side
He said hey homey, take a walk on the Hab side

And the FHF girls say...

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Lou Reed
I fuckin' hate that song more than any other. EVER. You should've given Moeman a call. At least his is entertaining.

HabsFan29 said...

Picasso's #1 breakfast was the greatest contribution to west end dining ever

I'm not booing you moeman, I'm saying Looooouuuu

offspace said...

GO SMURFS!! GO MONTREEL!!

boob gainey said...

Can anyone figure out what Jack Todd's point is?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Boob
Jack Todd is a miserable son of a bitch. He used to have just the right amount of snark to make his writing enjoyable until he went so close to the edge that he fell off the building. He screams 'bitter'. I guess when one can he does and when one can't he teaches except Todd is pissed at too many facets of life - sports, journalism... - to get his anger straight.

moeman said...

@bob, Jacques Todd seems to be CHannellng his worst réjean.

moeman said...

Um, dat wuz @boob.

rrrrrrren said...

Happy to report that Picasso's will be re-opening soon, which will please patrons of the Jungle.

@33 have you been to the Jungle since they switched to danse-contacte?

rrrrrrren said...

oh, and fuck Jack Turd.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Gotta love how Jack Todd blathers on about how terrible the new team is, and how we shouldn't have let the old guys go.

OUT
Saku Koivu: 2pts, -2
Alex Kovalev: 4pts, -4
Alex Tanguay: 2pts, -3
Chris Higgins: 2pts, even
GangBang: 3pts, -1
Greek Lightening: 1pt, -1
Begin: 6pts (wait, wtf?), +1
Dou$harek: 0pts, -4, 23PIM
Frankie B: 0pts, -3, 6PIM
Dandy: No contract
Breezer: Retired-ish
Schneider: Injured... still
Total: 20pts, -17

IN
Mike Cammalleri: 7pts, +1
Scott Gomez: 5pts, +1
Brian Gionta: 4pts, +3
Travis Moen: 3pts, even
Jaro Spacek: 3pts, +2, 6PIM
Paul Mara: 5pts, -3, 23PIM
Hal Gill: 0pts, -4, 19PIM (sigh...)
MAB: 2pts in 2 games, +1, 2PIM
Total: 29pts, +1

Works for me.

moeman said...

cbc/hnic pre-game show recap, brought to you by Pepto and Ex-Lax.

Minute 1:00 - leaf

Minute 2:00 - more leaf

Minute 3:00 - barf, leaf again

Minute 4:00 - what more leaf?, bile

Minute 5:00 - still leaf, I see blood in my bile

Minute 6:00 - nuthin' but leaf, my eyes bleed

Minute 7:00 - leaf is it for these fucks, weird bowel movement, bonus blood!

Minute 8:00 - Canucks! are mentioned … releaf!

Minute 8:30 - Friedman says VAN should be afraid of leaf … , skin crawls

milbury pisses on Gionta and Gomez, why? (he's bucking for cherry's job)

maclean calls Habs 1st line light, go fuck yourself you leaf loving fucker

gary galley, one of the ugliest fucks in hockey fuckdom, supposedly to yip about BOS/OTT, hnicize by ripping, the Habs, go figure

hrudey (baby blue bandana boy from 1993) loves tim thomas, why?

The entire cbc crew tries to find ways to make the leaf win, why?

Still 14 minutes to go ...

HabsFan29 said...

let's do this thing

so today, in support of BGL and half naked chicks playing street hockey everywhere, i purchased a can of alcoholic energy beverage Octane. I will not be purchasing a second can.

oh, and jack todd has really lost it

moeman said...

Minute 19:00 - CAL vs. EDM chat

Minute 20:00 - marek+moronsson, 2 fucking morons

Minute 21:00 - mclame yips about burke, the fucking leaf genius, heh

Minute 22:00 - commercial about antique'ing, too easy a leaf joke?

Minute 24:00 - Peter Puck (use to be much funner)

Minute 25:00 - friedman reports about a dressing room, deep (bonus Ryan Walter, despite losing Langway, I always liked that guy)

Minute 29:00 - Gotta love BAN's use of teCH

ACK! mclame mentions nicklesuck.

HabsFan29 said...

so i have to tune to CBC to find out when new albums are being released now?

HabsFan29 said...

oh god i really cant watch Bob Cole. BB it is

Moey said...

Milbury says Giant Mexican Squid is not first line material. This coming from someone who wouldn't crack the Special Olympics lineup. Fucktard.

HabsFan29 said...

a minute in you can tell this will be a bigger test than the Isles

HabsFan29 said...

Giant. Mexican. SQUID!

moeman said...

Gionta!

HabsFan4 said...

Guy's commentary made it happen. Bravo Squid.

moeman said...

Meant Squid!

HabsFan4 said...

29, aren't you a huuuuge blue rodeo fan?

HabsFan4 said...

Fucking right.

HabsFan29 said...

i do enjoy the talents of jim cuddy

moeman said...

Gotta love da crowd noise.


NYR are a speedy team. Speed vs. speed, what good hock-hock is all about. Go Habs!

kevincrumbs said...

It's sad that I'm happier to have Bob Cole than MSG.

I laughed out loud at HF29 buying a can of Octane. Did you get some hot chicks to play street hockey with you?

HabsFan29 said...

@kevin - i wish. frankly when i took a sip it reminded me of fat chicks. that shit is gross. imagine crappy vodka mixed with crappy energy drink without carbonation

FUCK

kevincrumbs said...

The Urologist... who the fuck was that pass to?

moeman said...

acklak.

kevincrumbs said...

Bob Cole hates Jaro.

moeman said...

Explain kc, as I only have BB to bear hearing.

moeman said...

acklak2.

HabsFan29 said...

goddamn we looked bad there in our own zone

kevincrumbs said...

Way to clear the puck. Oh, wait...

Jesus, at least ice the fucking puck if you need to.

kevincrumbs said...

@moeman: I think Jaro's looked solid out there but Bob Cole keeps yammering on about how he's leaving fat rebounds and generally ripping on his play.

@HF29: We have a drink here in the States called Sparks, which sounds like what you described. Nasty stuff and can give you something called "Sparks Mouth" in which it changes the colour of your tongue and teeth. Temporarily, mind you.

HabsFan29 said...

ouCH

moeman said...

ack!lak!3

moeman said...

Controverse the goalies.

boob gainey said...

Not to worry.

Isles again on Monday.

moeman said...

Troo boob but .500 would be nice.

Scotty Hockey said...

I watched the first five minutes, was miserable, then got pulled away to do work. I come back, 3-1. Yep.

boob gainey said...

Lundquist kept them in it this period.

moeman said...

3-2, more please.

boob gainey said...

Lundquist.

Get up you big baby.

Van Hab said...

I just turned it on to see Lapierre pull a Lemieux. How we doin'?

HabsFan29 said...

goddamn it

boob gainey said...

CBC 1st intermission: they make no attempt to hide the fact that they are cheering for the Leafs.

It's the intermission for 4 Canadian teams but Cherry starts with "they're not playing bad".

lehab said...

didnt think it was possible but spacek looks worse than gill fuck

moeman said...

Goalie controversy is thinning out.

HabsFan29 said...

urologist!

i would love to have one of those never give up teams

moeman said...

Non-discriminated-against MAB! bags his 2nd (2 more than LeCavalier), 4-3.

moeman said...

Pleks!

moeman said...

... to Squid!

HabsFan29 said...

now this is fun

lehab said...

Giant Squid Pleks!

moeman said...

On cbc's burkestove,

milbury, hates everything but himself, says leave burke alone

lebrun, he works for espn, whoTF? cares, oh wait, says burke is burke and its good for the game

moronsson, his face has been bruised by burke's dick

mclame, burke's dick firmly implanted in his oesophagus

HabsFan29 said...

ok i'll admit it, I'm starting to like this team. don't let me down here in the 3rd guys

Anonymous said...

Hi, long-time reader, first-time commenting, eternal fan of FHF...My question tonight, what happened to Sexy Fridays? Have they been substituted by the new and improved pics for game previews? Can't we live in a world where we have both???

Just wondering,
Manny B

P.S. Very entertaining gamae tonight.

moeman said...

I'll try not to HF29.

moeman said...

For Manny B.

HabsFan29 said...

no seriously, i like this team. we seem to work hard, at least

moeman said...

Fun hockey tonight.

NLFD Habs Fan said...

Ok Fucking Gill has to go. There's no way you can tell me that Mathieu Carle or the Subbanator are worse than that guy on the D.

Bergeron is supposedly the Quebecois version of Mark Streit and he seems to fuck up less than Gill.

And all those guys cost less than Gill against the cap.

moeman said...

Our boy CHips' bets game yet.

moeman said...

best

Anonymous said...

@ moeman - Thanks.

Manny B.

moeman said...

VAN wins.

Go Habs!

Exodus Online said...

OK...so I'm on a stream in the UK - commentary is about a 1/4 second behind the picuture - CBC feed.- Pretty fuckin weird. We're playing ok and someone should punch Avery just because...and Carbo sucks as much as a commentator as a coach. Oh yeah! Laffs lose again - There is a God!

Go Habs Go!

moeman said...

Dags+CHips+Gui! needs to be kept together as a line for a few games.

moeman said...

1 point.

Get 2.

HabsFan29 said...

i don't know if you can say "a quality point" at home, but that's what it is

NFLD Habs Fan said...

Worse start of a season in Laffs history. That's gotta hurt.

I'm crackin open a Molson to celebrate their suckitude!!

moeman said...

FUCK!

HabsFan29 said...

fuck yeah squid!!!!

lehab said...

starting to remind me of 1993 playoffs!

Exodus Online said...

Le premier etoile...Cammi! You Mo'Fo! Love that guy!!!

moeman said...

Now that was a hockey game!

Melly said...

No quit to this team.

Love the way they mobbed the Squid at the end!

HabsFan29 said...

no really, i'm giddy

moeman said...

HF29 meant giggidy.

boob gainey said...

Is there a federal political party that proposes to privatize the CBC? I'm voting for them if there is.

HabsFan29 said...

i am both

Bs-Sens looked like a wild one too

dwgs said...

And after the game Grapes knocks Ottawa (cause they're playing the Bruins), fellates the Loserleafs, and makes not a mention that there was another game taking place.
I want some of my tax money back.
Fsck.

Exodus Online said...

Ok,Cal v Edmmonton matchup - nice fight Mc! Can someone explain to me why Pat Fuckin Quin still has a job? He has never won a GD thing and about 80 so WTF? In what universe does having Pat Quinn behind the bench = Stanley Cup? , Someone enlighten me please!!!

Exodus Online said...

God bless Brian Burke - Exactly what the Laffs needed - an egomaniac with zero actual hockey knowledge (I mean - come on 5 mill + for Dousharek? what a fuckin deal you got there bright boy!) - kinda sums up the last 50 years of the club

wv - contr - as in - Burke - what a dumb fuckin contr

Not Geoff Molson said...

If I wanted LeafsTV, I'd pay the cable provider for it...not the CBC with my tax dollars.

As a kid who grew up out west, I always wondered why we had to have so many Leaf games on TV, and since the double headers started, why are the Leafs always always 1 half of the Saturday games...every...fucking...Saturday...night.

Get with it CBC, the Leafs suck and the rest of the country has no interest in watching Burke's morons and his CBC fellating malcontents.

WV = unterep -> as in the Habs are 'unterep'resented on the CBC national broadcast.

HabsFan4 said...

Watched the first period, then left for dinner with wife's family. Naturally, taped the rest of the game hoping for an entertaining late night comeback.

Well at 1:46 a.m. I probably woke up the wife who was fast asleep in bed. Apologies to her and the rest of the building but Mike made me do it.

boob gainey said...

Leaf losers are calling last night's loss to Vancouver a moral victory. From the Toronto Star:

"Down 2-1 going into the third period ..., the Leafs were by far the dominant squad over the final 20 minutes"

Hmmm... you got 10 shots in the 3rd period.

Schadenfreude moment: Komisarek put the first goal in his own net.

MrBigTime said...

HALAKATTACK!