Saturday, October 03, 2009

Let us pray for the quick healing of The Ankle Tendon - Sabres Game Preview and Open Thread

Look, there's no point beating around the bush here. The Ankle Tendon that was cut by TFS' (emotional scar much Carey?) skate leading to the loss of our best player for 4 months is a real fucking downer. As LG77 said to me privately yesterday, this is Tom Brady-esque. A disaster of epic proportions. But then South Shore Habs Fan gave us this in the comments:

The star Russian defenceman and powerplay QB is injured for 4 months on the first game of the season, and the team struggles out of the gate. They come together around February, just as the star D-man returns and starts lighting it up, and jump from 10th place to 6th in the East and into the playoffs. Once in the playoffs, the inspired play of a young goalie determined to prove that he wasn't a draft bust, combined with a surprisingly strong defence that somehow includes Hal Gill, and a handful of gritty Quebecois third-liners leads the team to their first Stanley Cup in 17 years.

Delusion? Nope - the 2008-2009 Pittsburgh Penguins.

See, anything is possible! As Monty Python sang, always look on the bright side of life. You can say (as FHF were saying in emails yesterday) that it's good this happened now, it means he can be back. Remember last year when he went out right before the playoffs? Now THAT sucked. This way, there's still time.

Of course, all bets are off if this injury means the return of Breezer.

So what are the implications of all this for tonight's game (7 PM in Buffalo, seems to be on CBC in Quebec and maybe Ottawa)? Well, Habs will have a new #1 defense pairing, in the form of The Czech Connection, Jaro 2.0 and the returning from illness Roman Hamrlik. That'll strike fear into the hearts of opposing forwards. You can also expect the call up of Yanick Weber pretty soon.

Elsewhere in the lineup, JM rewards our new favourite Hab Travis Moen with a move up to the 3rd line to play with Gui! and Mad Max. Metro will center the 4th line between two as yet unnamed wingers. Chips seems ready to play as well.

This is the opener for the Sabres. They actually dominated us last year, going 4-1-1 in the series. Any hope the Sabres have of doing something this year will center on Ryan Miller, so keep your eye on him. I guess Vanek and Roy will have some say too. We really have no clue what they did in the off-season (besides lose Jaro 2.0), so head over to Die by The Blade for all your Sabres info.

For your post-game adult entertainment, in support of Andrei, enjoy Russian Porn Tube (seriously NSFW, duh). Why do all Russian porn stars look underage?

Let's hear your prayers for Andrei in the comments

111 comments:

GoldenGirl11 said...

Talk about Karma. On Dora the Explorer this morning Dora met up with her Russian doll friend. They hopped into Dora's red car driven by a pink monkey and after they found the purple singing piano they were looking for the Russian doll said (subliminally of course) that Markov will be fine. I usually hate Dora but knowing that my other kids have easy access to Russian porn - thanks 29 - I am finding Dora quite enjoyable today.

moeman said...

Super Freak Injury

{Drink shot of Vodka}

He's a very quiet guy now
The kind Bertrand won't make a Captain
He will never let our spirits down
Unless you get him off the ice, ow!

{Drink shot of Vodka}

He likes the boys on the club
He says Carey was his favorite
When he makes his moves near the crease
We are never hard to please

{Drink shot of Vodka}

That cut is pretty deep now
The injury is super freaky
The kind of gash you read about
In a surgeon's magazine
That cut is all stiCHed up now
Time for Andrei to super heal

{Drink shot of Vodka}

We'll really love Jaro 2.0 now
Every time he skates it out
Jar2's all right, Jar2's all right
That CzeCH's all right with me, yeah
He's super 2D, super 2D
He's super-freaky, visually

Super freak, Super D

{Drink shot of Vodka}

Vodkov's a very special player
He's our #1 you know
From his head down to his tendons
Down for four months oh no!

{Drink shot of Vodka}

And we'll wait for him to recover
In the Olympics he won't play
Cuz he's coming back to the blueline
Just in time for the playoffs

GoHabsGo, GoHabsGo
Come Game 1 we'll all be waiting
For his smooth moves and great shot
It'll be such a freaky scene

{Drink shot of Vodka}

{Where's the fucking Bridge?}

FHFs sing!
Ohhhhhlé
Super freak, super D
Vodkov's our super freak
Ohhhhhlé

{Drink shot of Vodka}

We're a very kinky group here
Sexy Fridays and Russian porn
Our blog gals wear tight jeans wow
We want Flickr pictures right now!

Blow, Bertrand!
Blow, Bertrand!
Blow, Bertrand!

{Fuck I'm out of Vodka}

orangeman said...

Huh? Oh, sorry too busy imagining the Olympics in Rio. Best IOC decision EVER. If you thought beach volleyball was filthy before, my god.

Oh, yeah, and hockey. In Rio. Ok, guys, lost me again.

Mike O said...

I heard that les police are starting an investigation on Price's skate...secretly supported by the KGB of course...

Oh yah.

Fuck

HabsFan29 said...

+1 "im Rick James, bitch!" for a vodka-soaked moeman

kevincrumbs said...

Thanks, Moeman, for lodging "Super Freak" in my head all day. Damn you!

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Kevin
Gggggggggroiiin in-ju-ry. There, is that better?

cottoneye said...

Awesome picture. The message from Ovie is a nice touch.

Anonymous said...

Now all we gotta do is trade Gomez and Gionta for Malkin and Crosby - and the Cup is ours!

The Cycle said...

Don't worry about the Sabres, Scott Gomez will take care of them, just like he did last year.

[a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaSbpQjY-_k"]Text to display[/a]

HabsFan29 said...

OK who's ready for 25 minutes of ice time for Hal Gill??

anyone out there? or have you all given up in the wake of The Tendon?

HabsFan29 said...

oy. RDS showing TFS' skate slicing Vodkov in slow motion over and over. kill me.

HabsFan29 said...

Jebus Bob Cole relegated to the 3rd game and the Habs. RDS it is

HabsFan29 said...

fuck fuck fuck

kevincrumbs said...

Way to keep losing faceoffs, guys.

kevincrumbs said...

Way to let a Sabre knock down you goalie, guys. Jesus.

kevincrumbs said...

Seriously, what the fuck is this fucking shit? Come on, we can't even get the puck out of our zone. Looks like another night of giving up 40+ shots.

moeman said...

My ears are bleeding, someone please tell brunet to STFU!

moeman said...

Methinks Dou$harek is gunning to beat domi's leaf penalty minutes to garner the love of the Blue Priders (yes that includes the cbc). WAS up 2-0.

chris nilan said...

hal gill is a carbon copy of paul coffey

kevincrumbs said...

I still fail to comprehend how Rhino ever attended an Ivy League school.

Boob Gainey said...

Brunet thinks our problem is lack of communication.

HabsFan4 said...

Well I've made love to a porcupine with more ease than the experience of watching that period.

What can I say I like porcupines.

L Dude said...

It's going to be a long year. I recall defending Gill's signing to a buddy that's a B's fan, saying "Well, he's an upgrade on Brisebois." Yeah...so...I don't know what to say about that now for fearing of heaping praise of any kind on Breezer.

Heh. WV=cambak

Jaro: "No worries. Teem will make beeg cambak in 3rd period."

Anonymous said...

Ryan Miller is still rainbow.

Boob Gainey said...

One of Washington's 3 goals was scored with Komi in the penalty box.


PUGNACITY! TRUCULENCE! TESTOSTERONE!

moeman said...

Boob you forgot 'Blue Pride' belligerence.

~~~

WV = whernali, as in whernali 1/2 way thru this game, someone score, SVP et Merci.

kevincrumbs said...

Gill is an idiot.

HabsFan29 said...

did i just hear Rhino is out? my. god.

scrappy! like a rugby scrum

kevincrumbs said...

This is also the first time in my life that I've been unhappy that Rhino is injured.

moeman said...

I've seen more exciting soccer (I know, futball) games.

Anonymous said...

Hey. Long-time reader, first time poster.

I figured I might as well try to get some joy out of this season by collectively kvetching. Fuck this team looks bad right now.

Anonymous said...

I hate Buffalo I'm a homophobe

HabsFan29 said...

first time i hear Stewie's name all night and it's for a penalty. nice

chris nilan said...

je parles pas francais but did i just hear metropolit is out too?

HabsFan29 said...

Metro out too. 100th Anniversary curse is stalking us

kevincrumbs said...

Am I the only one getting sick of these dumb, pointless scrums?

Anonymous said...

noooo they be hawt

fezworth said...

Wow... is that 3 man-games lost to injury already, in just two games? Seriously impressive.

I feel some déja vu coming on... Shades of .. 2003-2006?

L Dude said...

How would you guys feel about Bob giving Dandy a call to see what he's up to?

And I only catch the odd word en francais. WFT happened to Rhino and Metro?

kevincrumbs said...

Andrei Kostitsyn is just as invisible as Sergei Kostitsyn, which is bad since Sergei's not even in the building...

That's a goal? WTF happened?

Anonymous said...

Moen! Saskatchewan Boy!!!

moeman said...

MOEnMAN!

L Dude said...

DROP THE PUCK - IT WAS IN!

Oh, this isn't football.

L Dude said...

MOEN!

kevincrumbs said...

Haha... more misery for these people who already have to deal with the fact that they live in Buffalo.

moeman said...

@L Dude, Babs'll be saving some $2-3M during Vodkov's time away, Dandy might be a dandy opp. but maybe there's a deal out there?...

L Dude said...

6-1 Caps over the MapleDouches.

L Dude said...

@moeman: What do you figure 2 invisible Belarussians could bag us?

moeman said...

Lotsa Semin on the leaf in WAS. Who knew the Blue Priders loved facials. NTTIAWWT.

moeman said...

@ L Dude, with or without La Presse's 'RUMEURS!' mafia ties?

L Dude said...

Somebody should probably mention that Price is in excellent form. If he can play like this for the season, we can lose the whole fucking team and he'll still win every game! He definitely keeps his TFS moniker.

fezworth said...

I've decided that Travis Moen can be the playoff clutch player, who eventually scores the Stanley Cup Winner for the Habs; with a gritty goal in which he battles through a check, fights for position in front of the net (enduring a broken rib from a vicious cross-check), and pokes the puck past the goalie in a scramble in front of the net.

That's what I've just decided. You're welcome, Travis.

kevincrumbs said...

@L Dude: I think all of us are afraid of jinxing Price.

moeman said...

@fez, is that on Wii or PS3?

fezworth said...

@moeman - oh no, I don't have NHL 10 yet. I'm talking real-life. I've just decided. You might say I decree it.

kevincrumbs said...

Through two periods, this is a really, really horrible game.

HabsFan29 said...

i agree with kevin. just horrible. we have no offense. for a team allegedly built on speed, we're, uh, slow

moeman said...

WV = abbit, man its hard to break our abbit(s) when it comes to our team.

~~~

Also, I'm guessing the CotU media will find all kindza ways to protect 'The(ir) Monster' tomorrow.

~~~

Go you fucking Habs!

dani said...

So um... are you already enjoying Jaro 2.0 and his rocket shots? He almost killed his former defensive friend. Shame, shame.

HabsFan29 said...

Dani! good to see you. did you hear Jaro is our #1 defenseman right now?

moeman said...

Big 3rd boys!

moeman said...

♫ ♫ ♫

HabsFan4 said...

Does Spacek look like Spacekase tonight or what?

HabsFan4 said...

so far this year team is being outshot 72-41. carry on.

moeman said...

Sometimes consistency isn't a good thing (but TFS™ usually likes the tilted SOGs).

fiik said...

I be sittin back here kakkin at joos sayin dat de season be over an fiik and fiikoc, manj.

moeman said...

fiik, you dropped your dentures.

Boob Gainey said...

You know what?

Hal Gill is playing a very good game.

moeman said...

brunet in regards to USSGill, 'c'est pas fluide'. Hey, Ben, have you ever watched film of your own game?

HabsFan29 said...

positives so far tonight:

1. TFS seems alright.
2. Travis Moen is scoring at a goal a game pace.

That is all.

ok, PP. let's FUCKING SEE SOME OFFENSE

fiik said...

oh beelee me da habs will winnit, jer!

fiik said...

beat did here pouffy Buffalo team jer!

HabsFan29 said...

im starting to understand what fiik's saying. that's good meth. this is not good PP.

HabsFan29 said...

i thought JM-coached teams were disciplined

HabsFan29 said...

15 shots! i'll be honest, i thought it was less

Boob Gainey said...

We've become the NJ Devils.

copyranter said...

@HF29: Ruff's showing the rest of the league exactly how easy it is to shutdown this Markov-less offence.

HabsFan29 said...

so our strategy this year is to ride TFS to overtimes. alrighty then

Anonymous said...

Carey! Carey! Carey!

HabsFan4 said...

do they count the shots in the warmup?

Boob Gainey said...

11-1 the shots in the 3rd period.

Holy Fuck!

kevincrumbs said...

@Boob: Hey, I'll gladly take this team as the Devils as long as we can win a couple of Cups.

Greg Millen is an idiot, stating that the Habs had a problem with Grier for his hit on Spacek. Fucking idiot, it was because he shot at Price after the period was over.

HabsFan4 said...

Has Miller made a difficult save in this game?

Anonymous said...

@Boob: I was just thinking the same thing, tho somewhat positively. After all, the Devils, with their Interchangeable Parts, fucking WIN.

HabsFan4 said...

UNREAL

kevincrumbs said...

Man oh man... this fucking team.

moeman said...

2 and 0 bitCHes!

HabsFan29 said...

there's 4 points we don't deserve to start the season!

Anonymous said...

SMURF-FUCKIN-TASTIC.

HabsFan4 said...

UNREAL

kevincrumbs said...

Beautiful goal by Gio. Absolutely beautiful. Thanks to Carey for stealing this win.

Boob Gainey said...

HA HA

copyranter said...

@Kevin Crumbs: No doubt MIllen is fucking idiot. Moen was knocked into Miller on his goal which Millen just ignored while calling for it to be disallowed.

fiik said...

I told joo we would winnit jer, I no sed it be pretty but I kwon da win be conen manj!

HabsFan4 said...

Douche-Mania in Edmonton right now.

kevincrumbs said...

Wow. What the fuck is this pregame at Rexall?

HabsFan4 said...

Now folks, nobody touched Moen. That was not a goal.

A not goal that I'll take gladly.

HabsFan4 said...

It's like Cirque du Soleil on acid.

HabsFan4 said...

Guy Laliberté is rolling over in his space module.

kevincrumbs said...

@HF4: I'm expecting the hockey gods to punish the Oilers for this shit. Flames 6, Oilers 0.

HabsFan4 said...

Is Whiteout that new Michael Jackson movie?

Anonymous said...

the twits on lantichambre are still yapping about how we should have signed beachemin... are they fucking serious????

fiik said...

Cup is conen.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Beauchemin, the guy who's minus four in two games played?! Breezer played 62 games last season and didn't even finish at -4... I'll take my +2 Head Pigeon, thanks.

Props to Price for an awesome game, O'Byrne was doing really well before he got injured (better than Gorges and Gill, anyway), and Chips better be ready, 'cuz he's got some big shoes to fill.

Michael said...

Wouldn't L'Antichambre be more entertaining if Chantal wrapped her thighs around Le Baron's neck and squeezed the life out of the stupid fuck?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Michael
But from the back so he doesn't enjoy it.

Michael said...

The only way that fucktard enjoys it from the front is if it's François Beauchemin doing the squeezing.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Beauchemin thighs, noose in the closet. 6 of one...

Number31 said...

Rocking like it's 1993 for 82 games.

ezzeloharr said...

The hockey gods did punish the Oilers for their awful pre-game ceremony. Has Khabibulin ever looked more stupid?