Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Let's see what this team is really made of - Pens game preview and open thread

OK, no more dicking around. Here's our measuring stick. Do we have the balls to play with the best? Or are we gonna get the shaft from a real team? Suck it up boys, we need to play hard. Let's whip out this preview.

Waiting in line details - 730 PM at the Mellonhead Arena. Habs riding a four-game win streak. Pens actually coming off a loss, only their second of the season. The teams split four last year, and in fact have split their last 12 games overall.

Pay your cover charge to - I don't think I need to tell you about the Pensblog. I feel I do need to tell you about the ridiculous number of ads that seem to be on there now. I implore you not to click on any of them.

Hot sexy Habs to watch - Squid is on a point streak, Métro rocks our world, Pleks is ALIVE, Jaro is holding the fort, and the Urologist likes the opening paragraph of this preview.

Skanky Habs to watch - Let's see if Gui! and Tits' efforts last game can actually lead to some points tonight. Speaking of Tits, good piece from All Habs about how Tits may be victim of a double standard and /or racism.

Hot sexy Pens to watch - where to start? Sid 6 points in his last 4, Malkin 11 points in his last 8. Alex Goligoski taking over taking over scoring from the blueline for the now-injured Gonchar. Pens' 3rd line of Cooke, Staal, and Kennedy are racking up points. MAF is 8-1, 2.19 and .917. His backup has a sub-2 GAA and .925. Yegads. That enough for everyone?

Skanky Pens to watch - this space left intentionally blank.

On the main stage - I got nothing as of this writing. Will update later if I feel like it.

In the VIP room - This game is making me nervous. This could be the game where it's proven that this team has some real holes. I hope it's not the case, but I can't help but feel the trepidation. /dick joke.

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - Blush Exotic looks nice. They want you to know they are open all day and night on Thanksgiving, for all you losers.

Nervous? Excited? Got a good dick joke? Let's hear it in the comments.

94 comments:

Chester said...

OK I'm sorry ... who is The Urologist

L Dude said...

Not a dick joke, but, well Komisarek's a dick, so:

How are the Leafs like a triangle? They both have 3 points. Ba-dum-bump.

Got a family event tonight that will take til midnight or so. Recording the game, but considering the late hour, I might just take a total pass. I have a feeling I may not want to watch it anyway. Prove me wrong GMS et al!

HabsFan29 said...

@Chester - PP specialist MABergeron

bea.habs.fan said...

I just read that those damn strip pjs are back on Halloween.
there is a curse on those fucking thing - weren't they supposed to be torched?

WV: deths as in DETH to the marketing departmnent at Hab central

Shutdown said...

M of the GMS line might be out tonight.

Ben Dugas said...

I think there's a lot of joke/nickname potential to be had in combining Big Tits and Tenderness.

Boob Gainey said...

Eklund: Price on the trading block.

Boob: e0

hmanpuckfan said...

I thought it was called the Thornton Mellon Arena.

HabsFan4 said...

29 and I are playing a super competitive ball hockey game tonight and will both be nursing ailing groins and backs so we'll comment later on this evening.

You guys gonna hold the fort while we're away?

Who's my little FHF reader?...

moeman said...

@GG11, another sublime game day pic. Might I suggest you (also) offer us hounds a Habs only emblemed version of the game day babe.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Thanks. Glad you're feeling better. As for the pics I'd be happy to redo those girls but it's up to the fellas to post them.

Just got back from parent/teacher interviews and in English, 13's teacher was telling me about an upcoming project on the way men and women are portrayed in the media. Apparently women are shown as sexual objects. I was just picturing my kid taking a page of FHF as his media... Oy vay.

moeman said...

@GG11, check under 13s mattress (or his bookmarks).

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Teacher: "Wow, 13! Where did you find those pictures??"
13: My mom makes them everyday. I can get hundreds. She can even put YOU in one of those outfits!"

Happily for $8,500 no child can be thrown out of Jewish day school unless there are behavior issues.... with the child, not the parent.

wv: outto, as in you can't kick him outto because his mother surfs "bikini girls" all day.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Giant Turtle Squid?

moeman said...

FHF Cabaret

What good is surfing alone in your room?
Come read about TurtlePlek's saucer play.
CzeCH sausage at the FHF Cabaret, ol' CHum,
Come to the FHF Cabaret.

Put down The Gazette,
Or worse Bob Sirois' so-called book.
Try some fun FHF on game day.
GG11 pics at the FHF Cabaret, ol' CHum,
Come to the FHF Cabaret.

Come taste Moey's wine,
Come read the parodies,
Come blow your own horn,
Start celebrating;
Click this way,
Your browser's waiting.

There's no use permitting
Any prophets of doom
To wipe all our smiles away.
Come see what our commenter's say.
Game Day Previews at the FHF Cabaret, lo' CHum,
Come to the FHF Cabaret!

White (moe)man rappin' some truthiness (so true it hurts);

I used to have a hot girlfriend
Known as my bi Sylvie
With whom I shared
Many sordid rooms in Chelsea

She's what you'd call
A gushing flower...
As a matter of fact
She'd gush by the hour.

Then one night I saw her laid out like a Queen
She was the happiest…lesbian…
I'd ever seen.

The day she left me, the boys
came to console me:
"Well, thats what comes
from dating your online babe Sylvie."

I think of Sylie to this very day.
I'd remember how'd she turn to me and say:
"What good is surfing alone in your room?"

Cuz I come to enjoy the FHF bloggers play.
Life is a FHF Cabaret, ol' chum,
Come to the FHF Cabaret."

And as for me,
I made up my mind back in Chelsea,
I left my bi Sylvie,
and started dating her best friend Annie.

Start by admitting
From cradle to tomb
Isn't that long a stay.
Life is a FHF Cabaret, ol' chum,
Only a FHF Cabaret, ol' chum,
And I love a FHF Cabaret!

kevincrumbs said...

Shouldn't HF29 and HF4 go get some post game "massages"? I hear some of those girls do wonders.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Nicely done. I kept picturing the Czech sausage guy singing.

moeman said...

@GG11, now the Czech sausage guy has words to sing in betwixt nibbling on da soosage, NTTIAWWT.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
I think he gave me nightmares last night.

The full view

moeman said...

Yowsa!

Also, The 1917 Stanley Cup Final was contested by the Pacific Coast Hockey Association (PCHA) champion Seattle Metropolitans and the National Hockey Association (NHA) champion Montreal Canadiens. Seattle defeated Montreal three games to one in a best-of-five game series to become the first United States-based team to win the Cup.

~~~

WV = manaries, as in have fun wit those

moeman said...

Those 1917 Habs were flu-ridden...

GoldenGirl11 said...

Gomez is on the ice. Flu shmu.

moeman said...

For GG11;

http://xkcd.com/648/

GoldenGirl11 said...

Love the hue slider. Really. It's actually pathetic how much I like it. You wouldn't believe how many family pictures I've altered. Better than Botox... Well actually the same.

kevincrumbs said...

Jaro sucks away from home.

Wow, that came out wrong.

moeman said...

brunet wants to see more from Pleks. STFU benoit.

GoldenGirl11 said...

this is great

moeman said...

@kc, "Wow, that came out wrong."

Almost as heavily double-entendre'd as "Love the hue slider."

moeman said...

Nice find GG11.

kevincrumbs said...

@moeman: FHF brings the best out of all of us.

I thought Gomer had the flu. Maybe JM's strategy is to infect the Penguins with H1N1.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
that's funny! Let's see how many things you can turn into a double entendre tonight.

kevincrumbs said...

I'm impressed that the city of Pittsburgh can fit a sheet of ice into a library.

kevincrumbs said...

Great clearance by Moen.

moeman said...

@GG11, I'll do my best but it might be easy if you and kc keep feeding me those easy, fun lines.

ack!

kevincrumbs said...

Now THAT was a horrible clearance.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Wow. That pass to Crosby was as smooth as Vaseline on... anything. You're welcome Moeman.

kevincrumbs said...

Massive trouble getting the puck out of the zone.

kevincrumbs said...

Poor looking PP. Jaro just saved our asses there.

moeman said...

Trudat GG11 but The Sausage Hamr left himself hung out to dry on that PIT goal.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Watching with very unhappy 15. Yelling at the tv a lot.

Ooooh, Ray Borque at the game. Seems to have let himself go.

kevincrumbs said...

Jaro bailed Jaro 2.0 just now.

Not a bad looking period from the Habs.

kevincrumbs said...

Just as the Pittsburgh announcers were praising Gill, he shoots the puck over the glass. Fuck.

moeman said...

Stupidest penalty in hockey. Get rid of it or but netting around the entire fucking arena.

moeman said...

but = put <-- innuendo'd 4 ya GG11

moeman said...

Funniest thing I read today;

Curb Your Enthusiasm has a more interesting plot twist this year than the Seinfeld reunion:

At one point in the show, David goes to the bathroom in a Catholic home and splatters urine on a picture of Jesus; he doesn’t clean it off. Then a Catholic woman goes to the bathroom, sees the picture and concludes that Jesus is crying. She then summons her equally stupid mother and the two of them fall to their knees in prayer. When David and Jerry Seinfeld (playing himself) are asked if they ever experienced a miracle, David answers, “every erection is a miracle.”

kevincrumbs said...

Not that the Pens announcers are so great but I have to give them credit for just playing "Brass Bonanza" after they talked about the Whalers.

moeman said...

Also, go Phillies.

moeman said...

ack!

kevincrumbs said...

Not horrible defensively tonight but nothing going offensively. Trouble getting pressure in their offensive zone, along with a lack of forecheck.

kevincrumbs said...

Great job, Dagger...

moeman said...

ping! FUCK!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Leave to tend to a kid for 5 minutes and that other kid has to score again. Fuck!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Come on! Let's see some Czech sausage already! (your welcome again, Moe)

moeman said...

Right back @ ya GG11 (and the Pens keep on linking goals together). eesh

kevincrumbs said...

Habs need to force the Penguins into taking some penalties. I was hoping we'd escape this period only down two.

moeman said...

Pens are not the Ducks, no way they get penalized to favour a Canadian team.

moeman said...

1-0 PHIllies.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Oy vay. Not in the mood for a blow out. So looking forward to going to sleep with visions of this team being a real contender dancing in my head.

WV: truddled, as in I'm truddled by the score

fezworth said...

And just like that, the Great Goaltending Controversy of '09 was gone, as though it had never existed.

kevincrumbs said...

This one's over.

moeman said...

TFS™ Time.

Congrats to Sid for the Hat-trick.

kevincrumbs said...

Of course, the Habs will score one before the period ends and end up having me hooked to the TV in case an epic comeback happens.

moeman said...

There's lotsa innuendo in kc's last comment. Bounty quicker picker upper innuendo.

moeman said...

Big comeback coming up?

~~~

WV = malcut, as in anyone have a bris coming up?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Four's my limit. Although I think Joel Bouchard needs one right now just to get him to stop talking.

moeman said...

@GG11 "Four's my limit"

Wow!

moeman said...

... and "Although I think Joel Bouchard needs one right now just to get him to stop talking."

Sausage?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Tell me about it. Hair color alone costs me a fortune.

moeman said...

@GG11, "Hair color" (sic)

~~~

Mr. GG11 (whenst the gorgeous GG11 makes her newly hue'd coif appearance) must be just a sliding for joy.

kevincrumbs said...

Is that Cari the Fat Whale?

moeman said...

MAF is Roy-like.

kevincrumbs said...

Way to let them run your goalie, guys.

moeman said...

@kc, TFS™ time bitCHes. (Bonus, he's bigger than the so-called CotU MONSTER!!!!)

brunet should just STFU!

kevincrumbs said...

Here we go. First goal.

moeman said...

Pleks!

Babs, call his agent!!!

kevincrumbs said...

Wasn't there a film called "The Squid and the Whale" a couple of years ago? I think that calls for a GG11 photoshop job.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Excellent

moeman said...

ack

moeman said...

TFS™ was a zombie on that play (like his team mates).

kevincrumbs said...

Oh well. Can you imagine all of the misguided stuff about how we're going to win the Cup if we won tonight?

I'll take a win (or at least overtime loss) to Chicago on Friday followed up by a win against the Laffs.

I think all of my sports karma or whatever this week goes to the Oregon Ducks in their big game against USC.

(Hal Gill with two dumb penalties tonight. His way of thanking Pittsburgh for his time there.)

kevincrumbs said...

Slow D all night long, dumb penalties, lack of forechecking.

moeman said...

Can't win em all and PIT is a very well balanced attacking team. Some time left but onto Chi-Town and filling CHuet's net. Price starts. Ditto vs. Dou$harek's loser team.

moeman said...

No sausage tonight, learn from it Habs,

Go Stars.

Go Phillies.

Go Pantsless, on sexy Friday.

boob gainey said...

Well, that answers that question.

Van Hab said...

From 3:09 PM to 10:06 PM it was just GG11, moeman, and kevincrumbs in here commenting away.

Imagine if this were a real life party...what would that look like?

moeman said...

@Van Hab, WTF?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Van
I noticed that too. A great party without having to get dressed up.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Wow. Now I didn't read that properly. Let me rephrase...

@Van
WTF??

moeman said...

heh, DAL bags it in OT. Suck it monstrous leaf.

HabsFan29 said...

well ball hockey was excellent. HF4 has really quick hands in front of the net. My stay at home defense skills are the envy of Hal Gill

sorry we missed the party. looks like we didn't miss much?

HabsFan29 said...

ps moeman Mom of HF29 LOVED your parody tonight. knowing the song really helped her. quote: "moeman is fantastic!"

kevincrumbs said...

@Van Hab: It'd look exactly like our avatars, which is what we look like outside of FHF.

Van Hab said...

@kevincrumbs:

Robot Chicken needs to get on that shit STAT. Your avatars in conversation...totally meme-able

GoldenGirl11 said...

@29
mom, gulp, reads the comments?