You'll imagine my shock when I started writing this preview and discovered that the Thrash is 4-1 to start the season. You can imagine my non-shock to see the Habs are 2-5. On with the recriminations...
Waiting in line details - 7:30 post meridium at the House of Suck I, and it's on TSN. Habs on a five-game losing streak. If they lose tonight, it will be their worst start in 68 years. Woohoo! There's something to get excited about!
Pay your cover charge to - Check out The Blueland Chronicle. Currently features photos of Bob and Doug Mackenzie, light-sabre fighting squirrels, and a moose fucking a miniature statue of a buffalo. My kind of humour.
Hot sexy Habs to watch - credit where credit is due; this year, the former ZombiePleks is your leading point getter and seems to come to play every night. Squid finally got off the schneid Saturday night with his first tally.
Skanky Habs to watch - Anyone on the 3rd or 4th line, most of the defense corps, and the goalies. Anyone else?
Hot sexy Thrashers to watch - Kovy has 7 goals, 2nd in the league after Ovie. Rich Peverly has 7 points, and Atlanta goalies are playing well (especially Ondrej Pavelec), even with main man Kari Lehtonen out with a hip injury. Evander Kane is the Thrashers' star 18 year-old. Thrashers PP best in the league at an astonishing 37.5%.
Skanky Thrashers to watch - no one really. Like I said, they're 4-1.
On the main stage - welcome the next D stopgap measure, Marc-André Bergeron, paired with Mara and working the point on the PP. Metro practiced this week but still isn't ready to go. No other lineup notes as of this writing.
In the VIP Room - and it's finally time to let the expletives fly! Fucking fuck this goddamn fucking piece of shit cocksucking team is sucking a big bag of dicks.
OK that felt good. But truly, my heart isn't in it. The reason that's so is 'cause we really haven't played that badly over the last couple of games. We've outshot our opponents, and haven't looked that terrible except for the final scores. TFS hasn't come up big since games 1 and 2, so I suppose I could complain about that. And Hal Gillis can be a disgrace. But even though Jack Todd says that this whole "blowing up the team" thing is a miserable failure, I'm nowhere near the "fire Bob" camp. Yet.
Post-game adult entertainment establishment - Kamasutra inspires our graphic today. It was the site of HF4's bachelor party and the subsequent immortal lesson, "if you take two girls to the VIP Room with you for a lesbian show, get a firm price in advance."
Let the expletives fly in the comments