A stirring win by the home side yesterday! The Impact have taken the USL First Division title for the third time in the club's history, thanks to a 3-1 win over the defending champs Vancouver at Saputo stadium giving them a 6-3 aggregate two-game series win. The victory was especially sweet in a season filled with controversy and bad play where the Impact could have fallen apart at any minute. But the team held together through the adversity and played best when it counted.
The Impact exploded for their 3 goals late in the first half, on strikes by Tony "Tits" Donatelli (penalty in the 30th minute), Joey "Joojoo Shabadoo" Gjertsen (40th) and Roberto "Club Downtown" Brown (42nd). The Impact cruised from there, defending the big lead with skill and determination, a task made easier by the red card on Whitecap defender Shaun Pejic.
Impact veteran and captain Mauro "Bella" Biello, perhaps playing his last game in an Impact uni as he contemplates retirement, was thrilled with the victory, saying that "at this point in my career to be able to lift that championship cup again was unbelievable." He added that "we are going to fucking party all night. W00t! You would not believe the quality hookers 'n blow that Joey Saputo can lay his hands on. Man that dude's connected."
Oh yeah, Habs lose, Kovy has glorious return to Montreal, yada yada. You didn't think I was going to waste my time reviewing that crap did you?