Friday, February 01, 2008

Happy Anniversary, Butthead!

The FHF couldn't let the glorious anniversary of Gary Bettman's takeover of the league go by without commemorating the occasion. Happy anniversary, Gary! 15 years ago today, you became commissioner. 15 years? It's been such a smooth ride you would have thought you took over just yesterday! Let's run down some of your finer accomplishments.

  • You got rid of those nasty division and conference names. Who needs history? Look to the fabulous future, Gary! You are a visionary!
  • You got the league on the best network in the whole world, Versus! Who cares if ESPN totally ignores hockey now? Versus has hunting! And fishing! And Mountain West College Basketball!
  • You eliminated those pesky successful franchises in Quebec City and Winnipeg. Canada, pshaw! We hate hockey here! You knew the American South was the place for pucks. Again, visionary!
  • You totally had labour peace. What's a couple of lockouts among friends?
  • You turned the fourth major sport into, uh, something better! Well done!
Thank god you came along Gary. We couldn't have done it without you.

Thanks to the Pitssburgh Sports Guys for the photo. Those guys are geniuses. In Pittsburgh!

4 comments:

Bryan said...

wow, i think you may just hate him more than i do !

Shmee said...

I still cant believe that he re-signed with Versus. What a tool! As you rightly point out, he has now assured hockey will continue to be largely ignored by MSM sports writers. Well, at least in America.

fezworth said...

It's not a question of 'hate', you know? Saying you hate Gary Bettman is like saying you hate war, or Flock of Seagulls. It's not really something you have to think about, it's just a state of life, because of what he is, and what he represents.

Loser Domi said...

"I'm a troll man, dodododododoo--I won't allow you to play with something that has such bizarre hair. Bizarre, bizarre hair."