Thursday, February 07, 2008

Leafs Suck + Habs "Hot" = Classic Trap Game Preview and Open Thread

I'm sorry. Really, I'm sorry. But never fuck with a winning streak.

AND... we've got the usual male stripper and bullet points for the Laffs:
  • 7 PM, Bell Centre. For some bizarre reason, it's on CBC throughout the country. On Thursday? WTF? Apparently any night is hockey night in Canada;
  • Habs 7-2-1 in their last ten and coming off holding on for dear life against the Sens. Leafs coming off being embarrassed at home by Florida;
  • Habs could be the #1 team in the East by the end of the night. I'm not yet ready to live in that world;
  • Say hi to Loser Domi and PPP who have been real nice sports around here considering their, uh, situtation. Leafs fans sort of humbled; I never thought I'd live to see the day;
  • The Danse à dix line is just, fuckin' wow. Nine brilliant points on Tuesday. Kovy and Turtleplek crossed the 50 point line. For two Habs in early February that's a miracle;
  • Hot Leafs? Hmm, Sundin is hot... on the trade market! [rimshot];
  • The return of TFS(tm) between the stripper poles for the Habs. Jeez, he's here one game! Halak didn't start after 14. For the Leafs, I just looked at Raycroft's numbers: 2-8-4, 4.07, .868. Expect Toskala;
  • Habs lines 2-4 suck. Allegedly they'll look like this tonight: Koivu with Little Tits and Gui!, Kosto-Slowinski-Bégin, and Mad Max-El Dandy with a demoted Panger's boy Higgins;
  • Will Milk Carton Mike ever wear a Habs uni again? The flu still has the Hamr down (Breezer Alert! Condition Red!). For the Leafs, Nik Antropov sits out the last of his 3-game suspension for headcaseitis (tm HF10). Brian McCabe returns tonight, looking for revenge;
  • Quote of the year, if not of Kovy's lifetime: "It's still 35 points to make the playoffs. That's the way I look at it, so we have to keep working." Seriously, WTF did Gainey say to him over the summer?

K let's do this thing!

62 comments:

Loser Domi said...

The tighty whiteys disturb me more than anything in that photo. Also, thanks for the name drop

HabsFan29 said...

The tighty whiteys arent bothering me so much as the thing he's trying to hide in them.

bob said...

The pic almost makes me wish we loose.
Please have McCabe avenge himself on the Breezer.

PPP said...

I want the Leafs to lose but I also hate coming here and seeing a male stripper instead of the usual fare.

Habsfan10 said...

The Leafs/male stripper quandry haunts us all. I for one applaud HF29's refusal to mess with a streak, and his reaching out to our female and "non-traditional" male readers. Plus, I can scroll down quickly.

Whatever results in a Leafs loss is fine with me. Glad we haven't had to resort to this sort of thing for the Broons.

capisco said...

i understand the concept of balance. for every emergence in a kovalev, there's bound to be a decline in a ryder. what i don't understand is how the fuck can brisebois always play like shit? ALWAYS!

fezworth said...

capisco, you have to think in terms of parallel universes.

Somewhere, Patrice 'Oak Tree' Brisebois is coming off his 3rd consecutive Norris Trophy season, and heading to the playoffs, captaining a Habs squad which is proving to be the most amazing dynasty ever, backstopped by the ever-indomitable Jim Carey.

Somewhere, that is happening.

Just not here.

Navin Vaswani said...

leafs still rock your world.

habs will falter. may not happen tonight. but it certainly will happen.

HabsFan29 said...

I knew my comment about Leafs fans' humility was premature. Thanks for popping in navin!

Habsfan10 said...

He's got the nonsensical post, lack of capitalization, and poor use of punctuation down, but he lacks profanity. Navin's like a watered-down Rangers fan!

Well, I guess that's fitting. Toronto's like a watered-down New York.

fezworth said...

I certainly hope the Leafs go on a tear at the end of the season that's just long enough to put them squarely in 9th place at the end.

Flying Toaster said...

To hell with that. Let`s have the Leafs finish 8th and Habs 1st, so that we can then crush their hopes and dreams as Toronto comes to the sad realization that they are inferior to Montreal and always will be.

capisco said...

fezworth,
if said parallel universe exists, the entrance to that bell centre is framed with golden statues of both mario tremblay and rejean houle and samsonov's jersey is retired in the drafters.

and jacques demers knows how to read.

Habsfan10 said...

toaster, normally I'd be all for the crushing, but I like the Broons and Leafs out of the playoffs so that there's no chance whatsoever they'll win. Makes for a more relaxing spring, I find.

Flying Toaster said...

HF10, are you suggesting either of those team could win? At anything? Come on, we`re not like Ottawa, what with the getting beat by Toronto during the playoffs all the time.

Noda said...

TSN headline:
"Hot Habs face-off against ice-cold Leafs"

How's that for a jinxing headline?

fezworth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
fezworth said...

@capisco: he knows how to read, and coached the Oakland Golden Seals to 10 consecutive 1st round exits.

@noda: I am actually rather worried about this. I see only two ways this game can end, neither of them good:
1. The Leafs have hit rock bottom, and will begin their ascent to 8th place by crushing the complacent Habs this evening.
2. The Leafs will hit rock bottom tomorrow, and lose to the Habs tonight. However, in a fit of rage, Darcy Tucker will smack Kovalev's knee through his hip, and the Habs will tank the rest of the season as it becomes apparently just how much of a leader he is on this team.

Jaredoflondon said...

Tighty whities and tube socks....male strippers certianly don't go for the flash like their female counterparts.

As much as I enjoy watching the Habs take the Sens down a notch or two, and as much as I want the Leafs to win the stampede for Stamkos I'd rather see The Leafs win and keep somewhat of a competative rivalry between the teams.

Loser Domi said...

Tighty whities and tube socks....male strippers certianly don't go for the flash like their female counterparts. Maybe they're just going for comfort. A guy in pain just isn't sexy like a woman in pain is (think high heels. corsets, etc.)But then again there is the whole dominatrix thing that exists, but they're mainly for the submissive.

This is why I love studying sociology--I get to study stuff like this!

fezworth said...

Haha... Mrs Fezworth studied sociology as well, but I don't recall hearing anything about dominatrixes.... dominatrii?

Loser Domi said...

We don't look at the dominatrix so much, but even that is only if you're looking at stuff like impact of porn, media stuff, etc. Most of it's pretty depressing and most articles make me feel like "Aw shit, we're all going to hell in a a hand basket"

HabsFan29 said...

whoa whoa, porn, dominatrices, what kind of site is this???

oh, right

Loser Domi said...

whoa whoa, porn, dominatrices, what kind of site is this???


If I remember correctly, this is a site that regularly features the exploits of Big Tits (and big tits) and Little Tits (with little tits)

HabsFan29 said...

good point LD

alright hockey let's go! OK montrealers - CBC or RDS? is it Bob Cole? that'll make the decision easy

HabsFan29 said...

Bob Cole it is... *click*

Ashley said...

I may be a Pens fan, but I love the Habs too and Leafs/Habs games are always the best. Add in the drama of maybe jumping ahead of Ottawa for first in the East..this should be a great Thursday night edition of HNIC.

Go Montréal!!

HabsFan29 said...

Hey Ashley. Thanks for popping in.

We're too nervous to be excited. I'm happy you're picking up the slack!

fezworth said...

@LD: I remember the 'hell in a handbasket' stuff. I don't blame her for going into accounting.

HabsFan29 said...

this line is starting to make me cry,

it's uh, allergies

Loser Domi said...

While I am a Leafs fan, I hope that the Kastsitsyns do well, just so I have an excuse to yell TITS! and by Yell, I mean type

HabsFan29 said...

FUCK

who is kris Newbury?

HabsFan29 said...

well those last few minutes were pathetic.

Loser Domi said...

who is kris Newbury?

Ask yo momma Hey-o!

Seriously, I don't mean any disrespect to your mother. I'm sure she's a good woman and all.

HabsFan29 said...

when i say trap game i mean it people!

fezworth said...

Yeah, don't say anything about HF29's Mom. She's awesome. It's a shame she couldn't go to the game tonight. Clearly, the team needs her mystical presence.

Loser Domi said...

Yeah, don't say anything about HF29's Mom. She's awesome.

Is she the one with the awesome boots?

HabsFan29 said...

She is in fact the one with the boots. She's quite the puck bunny

and damn we need her help now

HabsFan29 said...

where's Fear the Collapse when we need him? yeesh we are being outplayed

Habsfan10 said...

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Full credit to the Leafs so far, they are outplaying every line but the Danse a Dix. Kovy looks awesome but Toskala looks good tonight. Gonna be tough to beat him three more times in 20 minutes.

And I hate to say it ... I really, really hate to say it ... but Koivu looks fucking awful. He's absolutely killing us every shift. Somebody better figure out what the hell is wrong with him pronto.

PPP said...

Who says Cliff Fletcher didn't make any moves? He apparently traded for an entire new team in the past two days...

PPP said...

Koivu looks fucking awful.

He looks like he's injured. He's been terrible.

Habsfan10 said...

Tell us his secret ... we could use some secondary scoring, ASAP.

PPP said...

we could use some secondary scoring, ASAP.

I was thinking the same as HF29 and you. That first line is dangerous all of the time but after that...

Habsfan10 said...

after that ... Bob needs to follow up on one of Eklund's crazy rumours.

HabsFan29 said...

we're all in agreement. lines 2-4 suck, Koivu is.. something, blech. and the Leafs are playing well.

alright we always only play some amount of minutes less than 60, how about 20 good ones now?

AND a penalty.. 18 minutes?

HabsFan29 said...

Was Kovy cherry picking while killing a penalty? hmmm... good result!

Loser Domi said...

"Kovy cherry picking"...what's he doing, making a pie? Cause that would be awesome. I mean, pie.

HabsFan29 said...

we are running out of time here

HabsFan29 said...

there's only one bright side - the male strippers are gone.

Habsfan10 said...

Two bright sides ... strippers gone, Leafs two points further from Stamkos.

Actually a pretty fun game to watch ... I'm surprisingly calm about losing to the Leafs. They were the better team for most of that game.

Fuck.

Navin Vaswani said...

HAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

no doubt the leafs suck, but it's always gratifying to beat the habs.

ain't toskala a beauty?

and how about those habs fans? booing colaiacovo when he gets injured? stay classy.

and i give the "leafs suck" chant a 1/10. real original. i mean, wow, how'd they come up with such a zinger?

go leafs go. we may not be going to the playoffs, but we'll be seeing the habs on the links after the first round.

toodles!

Navin Vaswani said...

on a serious note, that was a pretty entertaining game. fast paced and physical.

the habs are a good team. plekanec has developed into quite the beauty. his time in the minors served him well. wish the leafs would have let guys like stajan and steen get seasoned down in the AHL.

and it's kind of scary that price is only 20 years old.

and when kovalev wants to, he can be one of the best in the business, as he's been this year.

Habsfan10 said...

Actually, I believe they were booing Carlo's attempted hit from behind, but thanks for playing.

Nice of you to come by and talk shit only after the final whistle ... I guess we won't expect to hear much from you until Cliff's rebuilding job finishes in 2014. By that time, Price, the Kostitsyns, Plekanec, Gui, Markov, Komisarek, O'Byrne and the rest might be looking for their third or fourth ring ... but hey, honk your horn on Yonge Street a few times on Yonge Street tonight for me, okay?

Habsfan10 said...

See, you had to go and ruin it by saying something nice, just as I was posting an angry response. Great.

PPP said...

and it's kind of scary that price is only 20 years old.

Kind of scary? Ummm...I would put it as terrifying.

Sorry HF10. It's a new and improved Leaf fan. The shit-talk is just for fun and is a facade for a real person. Sorry to shatter the illusion.

Turn on AM640 and you'll be able to find what you're looking for ;)

Eklund's crazy trade looks like a good idea though.

And how was Kovalev by the blueline on a penalty kill!?!?!

habslove said...

and how about those habs fans? booing colaiacovo when he gets injured? stay classy.
---
I'm sorry, should we be more classy like you? Way to set the standard high.

habslove said...

Damn it. You are classy. ish.

Navin Vaswani said...

it's all love, my friends! as a leafs fan, i don't have much these days. and tonight's win against the habs is about as good as it's going to get around here for a while (detroit's in town on saturday)...

and i had to wait until the final whistle...because the leafs are the worst team when it comes to a 3-1 lead in the third period. i fully expected the habs to score on that final power play.

and PPP is right. price being 20 is shit-in-my-pants terrifying.

i gotta give some props to huet though. he's been dynamite this year, again, even after price got in some games. his save percentage is crazy.

PPP said...

the leafs are the worst team when it comes to a 3-1 lead in the third period.

That was the choke trifecta: two goal lead, in the third period, on the road.

I am still going over the tapes to figure out how it happened.

thegoldbull said...

Did you notice that Breezer got A LOT of ice time. He even got double shifted twice I think. He didn't fuck up. Its only fait to mention it...

Fuck. At least there wasn't as many leafs fans as usual. It was still fun to scream
"ssssiiiiiiiixty seeeeven !"

HabsFan29 said...

goldbull I will admit, hidden at the bottom of this long open thread post that no one will reaad, that that Breezer had a decent game