Tuesday, March 10, 2009

It's all up to the porn 'stache now - Oilers Game Preview and Open Thread

Bob, in simpler times. When you could step out for a quick smoke and a Brador between periods.

Bob, Bob, Bob. You've really stepped into it now haven't you? Do you have any fucking clue what you have gotten yourself into? I do not envy you, sir. By way of a preview for tonight's affair (7:30 P.M., Phone Booth, on Sportnset West, check out the outstanding Lowetide for your Oil news), let's take a look at what you need to fix. WARNING - possible actual hockey analysis ahead.

Offense
Totally inconsistent all year. And right now, Faceoff.com lists no "hot" Habs. Players who were consistent last year (Pleks, Big Tits, Kovy) have been up and down all year. Carbo's line juggling seemed to have finally paid off a bit in Dallas (the Big Tits - Tangy duo), but did way more damage than good overall. Bob is going with this tonight:

Tits - Koivu - Tangy
Kovy - Pleks - Dagger
Higgy - Laps - Kosto
Stewart - Métro - El Dandy

We can live with that (even though Kovy on the left wing is pretty out there), as long as Métro doesn't see any time on the 5 on 3.

Defense
Seriously what the fuck is wrong with these guys? This is essentially the same group as last year, which played outstanding Team D. Now they couldn't defend my old intramural "C" league team (Go Chico Resch!). Here's Bob's pairings for the evening:

Markov - DOOM (reunited and it feels so goooood...)
Rhino - Hamr
Schneider - Gorges

With Bob behind the bench, will Breezer ever see 1000?

Goalies
A decent probelem to have, looks like we've got two good ones right now. BTW, in all the hubbub about the firing yesterday, you no doubt skipped Panger's excellent piece on TFS(tm). Go read it now. Panger is prescient - Bob is riding Price tonight.

The PP
After a decent boost right after the Semitic Saviour's arrival, the PP has gone flat, 0 for 13. Good luck fixing that mess Bob.

Intangibles
10 UFA's playing for a contract in front of the GM. The new coach bump. The 100th Anniversary pressure. LG77 shouting at any Habs coach at the Bell Centre until she's hoarse. That's a lot for anyone.

So, in Bob we trust? Or in Bob we trust but sometimes we really don't get it? Time to find out. If only he would bring back the porn 'stache.

51 comments:

Damion said...

Chico's defensemen were awesome. Je suis sans regrets.

bob said...

Schneider on the third pairing and Doom back with Marky is defenitly a good start.

A tought the old fart looked tired and slow the last couple of games.

No Breezer tonight, won't have to endure is fucking 1000th game and fake the applauses.

In Bob we have to trust.

Boob Gainey said...

If Price lets in 4 in the first period then what?

HFF33 aka Panger said...

With Chico, it was always about the goaltending. Especially Wop Montrealer goaltending.

Anyway...Gainey is new Coach #7 this year, and the other 6 new faces are a combined 0-6. This does not bode well.

Oh and HF29, I have to disagree with you: Panger's post sucked.

El Oso said...

Love the Chico Resch shout out.

les_glorieux said...

Panger: how do other new coaches have an influence on this one? He's not a new coach either, he's been here before.

TSN: apparently Halak still isn't completely over the flu yet.

HabsFan29 said...

@Damion - that is a quality Chico inside joke that at least 4 FHF readers will get. very pun-ny

HFF33 aka Panger said...

@les_glorieux: As far as I know, Gainey hasn't been their coach this year, so he's still a new coach this year. And it really has absolutely no effect on tonight's game, I just thought it was an interesting stat and hopefully a reverse jinx. Thanks for fucking it up. If the Habs lose I'm blaming you.

Holy Flannel said...

WTF? where's Patches?
IMO he was one of the most consistent and hard-working players on the team during the road trip.

Good luck, Bob.

HabsFan29 said...

@Holy Flannel - agree with you, Patches has been really solid. victim of numbers

Sergio Momesso named assistant coach in Hamilton. Italian Subs for everyone!

HabsFan29 said...

im nervous for Bob

HabsFan29 said...

oh that's embarrassing, Jaro on the ice getting the molson cup

HabsFan29 said...

i may be developing a man crush on Greg Stewart

HabsFan29 said...

my god, a lucky bounce. Tangy!

HabsFan29 said...

my Stewie man crush just went through the roof

copyranter said...

Nice to have Tangy back...the puck just finds him.

copyranter said...

Bob waits until the homestand to take over...better chance of him looking "smart."

UKHab said...

I was kind of hoping 7 midweek pints and a big Liverpool win might help me decide how I feel about the whole Carbo thing. But I'm still not sure. I'm just going to hope for the best. Plus hope Boone finds his happy pills.

HabsFan29 said...

You people (except copyranter) missed an actual decent period of hockey

lawyergirl77 said...

Loving the Chico shoutouts and the shoutout in the preview. Haven't yelled at BG yet... Too busy yelling at the fuckers around me who, I shit you not, are booing Saku whenever he touches the puck.

A good section of the Bell Centre chanted Guy Guy Guy right before the puck dropped. I feel my IQ drop when I set foot in here. It tingles...

Oh and for the record, Bob Gainey/Don Lever/Whoever hockey is fucking EXCITING hockey. A fun and *gasp* fast period. Wow.

HabsFan29 said...

i think they all worked a little harder for Bob

HabsFan29 said...

ok can i get 2 periods in a row of decent hockey? dare to dream

UKHab said...

Go Habs
Go Hockey
Go Pants

Beta169 said...

Is it just me or does the signature on that picture look like "Bod" Gainey? Porn 'stache on "the Bod" during the 70's - what a ladies man! Plan the parade - of hotties to his room!

verify word: coloup, as in "Will they coloup 'Lil Tits again this year?"

HabsFan29 said...

woohoo! chippy

@Beta - it really does look like Bod. Bob "The Bod" Gainey. Rawr!

HabsFan29 said...

well this period is not going nearly as well. just like old times!

HabsFan29 said...

oh god not SOuray

HabsFan29 said...

Métro!

Anonymous said...

Souray. Figures.

HabsFan29 said...

back to the drawing board

matt - fear the collapse said...

Gainey...meet the shit players you have assembled to play on your team!
23-9 in shots...pff, what a joke. This tem is worse than I thought. Not even a big change like this can spark them.

lawyergirl77 said...

Well now, those are the Habd I've come to know and loathe. Métro is playing his ass off though.

And the sounds of mutiny are getting louder, Bob. Can you guys hear the Guy chants at home?

Baroque said...

How do you get outshot by any team 23 to 9?

That. Is. INSANE.

The dung beetles look upon the Habs, and are consumed with jealous rage. :(

Anonymous said...

come on boys, we need a big third

matt - fear the collapse said...

The D on this team is just horrific...and I think most intelligent ppl knew this from day 1...please focus on fixing this during the 'looong' off-season Bob...if you still are the GM

HabsFan4 said...

Back at Chez Serge watching a Kid Rock video on the bug screen.

My kids won't be allowed to watch MTV.

HabsFan4 said...

Chez Serge is too awesomely awesome to not be frequented with metamucil-like regularity.

HabsFan29 said...

4 they should give you free beer for all the pub you give them

nice shot to the head

Anonymous said...

i think i am ready to cry...

HabsFan29 said...

man we are running out of time quickly

HabsFan29 said...

bring on the replay

Moey said...

I don't care if Gainey has to bitch slap every one of them, in fact I'd be happy to help. I just want to see one decent bloody game of hockey. They're killing me.

HabsFan29 said...

we've played half a game of hockey. by definition we deserve to be tied.

HabsFan29 said...

the porn stache would have settled for a tie back in the day

HabsFan29 said...

LG are they booing Saku now?

Baroque said...

People who would boo a class act like Saku should be publicly flogged.

That kind of stupidity makes me borderline homicidal.

Q said...

sweet.
word veri = buntgus
which is what I just did in my pants when Koivu scored

orangeman said...

Didn't see any of it, but let me say this:

I love Saku.

matt - fear the collapse said...

To quote The Wolf from Pulp Fiction..."Let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet..."

One game does not make a season...

lawyergirl77 said...

I heart my Saku.

I heart him a lot.

I turned around to the fuckers that were booing him earlier on in the game and said: "J'vous entends pas huer, mes innocents!!" Heh. Their response: "Ouais, mais c'est juste un match. Y'é pourri le reste du temps..."

Riiiight. Fuckers.

By the way - I loved Gainey's press conference. Anyone else notice how he INCLUDED himself with the team. He didn't blame them for a shit second period (he said that they were all "in the same boat" 'cause he was feeling kind of shaky to) and he talked about them as a collective unit THROUGH THE GOOD AND THE BAD.

Carbo never did that. It was always him, and then the players, especially when they had problems on the ice.

It's a welcome change.

Van Hab said...

Go Gainey!
Go Gainey!
Go Gainey!