Tuesday, March 24, 2009

We're not putting any effort into this Thrashers Game Preview and Open Thread

Yeah, that's the best place for that chant

Look, if the Fucking Habs aren't going to put in any effort, they don't deserve me putting any effort into these previews. No clever gimmick, the minimum amount of research, lazy ass jokes (if any), and a pic that's been sitting on my hard drive. That's what your getting. Blame the Fucking Habs.

So the basics - 7:30 PM start in the Bell Centre. Fucking Habs riding a 5 game losing streak. Love the headline over at Bird Watchers Anonymous. Mad Max is the only Fucking Hab worth watching. Your lines are allegedly as follows:

Kovy - Koivu - Tangy
Pleks with a pair of Tits
Mad Max the Tender Greek
Higgins - Metro - El Dandy

There will also be defense pairings that won't work, and a goalie who can't stop the puck. For your post-game adult entertainment, have sex with your spouse or significant other.

Make sure not to put any effort into your comments

116 comments:

Boob Gainey said...

Great lines.

This is it.

It turns around tonight.

Bryan said...

did anyone watch the world baseball classic final last night? what a game that was! hope the jays don't suck giant balls this year..again!

hockey? they're still playing? the habs aren't eliminated yet?

James said...

On paper, these lines look terrific. Love it. Just love it. Until the fucking game when they fuck it all to fucking hell.

Word verif: mench. Fuck this team, mench.

Anonymous said...

Wish they'd try Big Tits with Tanguay again...

Boob Gainey said...

The turnaround starts tonight.

fezworth said...

I can't be bothered to post.

Yvon Gagné said...

Ah, fuck it.

Van H said...

...

moeman said...

I am parodyless.

Boob Gainey said...

You "fans" are the real quitters.

GO HABS GO!

I still believe.

Montréaliste1 said...

PRICE in net tonight.

Hope he can just manage to give less goals than the O can score.

Cuz he hasn't been bad lately, he just gave away more goals than the O was abble to produce.

Wtv, we don't give a shit anymore, right.

Boob Gainey said...

Oops, scratch that last comment.

Price is starting tonight.

WHY?

Bob?

What are you thinking?

James said...

Bob and his giant hard-on on Price will fuck up whatever was left of this team. Fuck that.

J.T. said...

@James: Thanks. Now I have disturbing mental images of Gainey chasing Price around the dressing room with a giant hard-on.

Word verif: Putsmen. As in: The Habs are now just a random group of 23 putsmen.

James said...

J.T.- my pleasure!

Proud purveyor of disturbing mental image pictures since 1983

South Shore Habs Fan said...

So apparently Gainey's assignment for Higgins is to shadow Ilya Kovalchuk.

...

...

...

I don't think I can type enough ellipses to fully express my sentiments on this matter.

James said...

SSHF- to be fair, not a single forward on this team is remotely good enough to shadow Ilya Kovalchuk... Except maybe El Dandy. Or Chuck Norris, if he played for us.

melly said...

I feel like I've just passed a FHF ritual or something...

After more than a year of visiting this site, and scrolling by countless MUCH riskier photos, it's the Go Habs Go underwear shot that has finally gotten me in trouble.

I forgot the fail-safe rule of not FHFing while wearing earphones. Didn't even hear the guy walk up behind me right as that butt showed up on my screen.

... awkward.

lawyergirl77 said...

Melly - welcome! I clicked over to the site when one of the, uh, more NSFW pics was up... as my boss (who is the embodiment of Grace Kelly grace and poise) walked into my office.

Very awkward...

Topic? Higgins shadowing Kovalchuk is a good idea - he's working pretty hard and Ilya tends to be less effective when he's being covered by someone who is outworking him.

As for Price... *Shudder* There's a really funny forward going around Mtl from a "frustrated fan" (sadly it's in French). The last joke in the list: Price a voulu se suicider hier mais le train lui est passé entre les jambes (Price wanted to commit suicide yesterday, but the train went 5-hole)

gillis said...

meh

Melly said...

@ LG - Haha! There's really no graceful way of explaining yourself either. I stammered and blushed until I matched that girl's underwear.

About Higgins, I see he's under a bit of fire from the Le 4 à 7 crew for his comments about the fans here (the ones who boo are the first to celebrate when we win, this is a city full of GMs and some'll tell you to your face you suck, etc.) Are people uncomfortable because it's true, or because as a player he's not supposed to acknowledge it? Fuck, he's not saying anything that hasn't been said before by media and fans alike.

Habs fans are cranky when their team plays like shit.

Which hopefully they stop doing tonight. I love the TittyPlex line and for some reason I'm feeling optimistic.

Daniel Plainview said...

why Bob? why the fuck?

lawyergirl77 said...

Melly - I didn't hear about Higgy's comments. What did he say?

And, dude, he says his dad's a Habs fan. It's not as though this should be surprising to him...

fezworth said...

@melly, @LG77 - Just do what I do; adopt the most indignant look that you can muster, and in your most aggrieved, frustrated voice, look them 'em in the eye and say:

"it's a Habs website. You got a problem?"

The great part is that it's true! You don't even have to feel guilty for lying.

Of course, I work in an office where people throw around links to lemonparty.org (NSFW!!) so that might work better for me than others. Your mileage may vary.

kevincrumbs said...

@Melly: I haven't read the comments either but judging by what you've said, shit like that absolutely pisses me off. I love how these players cannot understand that they are absolutely adored and feted when they play well or at least try hard. If Higgy doesn't want someone coming up to his face telling him he sucks MAYBE HE SHOULDN'T SUCK.

I (and I think everyone else here) am extremely harsh on my team because I care about them a lot. I make a time investment, a monetary investment and an emotional investment to watch this team game in and game out and I think it's not too much to ask to be able to express how I feel about them, whether that's positive or negative. Habs fans boo because we expect a lot and because we care and love the team.

Go play in fucking Florida, fucking asshole.

fezworth said...

I find that really interesting. He must hate the spotlight. I bet he feels really aggrieved when the restaurant offers him a free meal, or his drinks at the club get comped. Poor man, and he's only making 7 figures for the thankless task of playing a sport. And it's not even a spectator* sport.






* Assuming the sample of spectators across North America

kevincrumbs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kevincrumbs said...

On a happier note, who doesn't love Roch Carrier's "The Sweater"?

Verification: onsum. As in, Kovy better get onsum offense n' shit.

Rips it, scores! said...

Is le Dandy playing tonight?

kevincrumbs said...

Dandy's dressed, unless that's stock footage the Thrashers broadcast is using.

kevincrumbs said...

1) Okay, I guess Dandy's not dressed.

2) Can we also get a delay of game call for that last sequence there as a make up call for that bullshit delay of game against the Sens?

kevincrumbs said...

Once again, struggling to get out of our own end and getting barely any shots on go...

TANGUAY! A BEAUTY!

I think I need to write more negatively about the Habs...

kevincrumbs said...

Dammit, Hamrlik! What the fuck was that shit?

kevincrumbs said...

We suck.

HabsFan29 said...

im out but in front of a computer. cant see the game but see the Fucking Habs have 4 shots. better than 3 i guess

Daniel Plainview said...

fuck this game.

kevincrumbs said...

Yawn... same old shit.

Daniel Plainview said...

season. over.

lawyergirl77 said...

It has been a decent back-and-forth game. The shots don't tell the full story.

That being said, we're on pace for 12 shots. Ugh.

lawyergirl77 said...

And Dandy is dressed. Playing his ass off. He would be an amazing player if hockey wasn't played with those pesky puck thingies...

gillis said...

meh

Daniel Plainview said...

Tanguay with that stupid little grin.

HabsFan29 said...

alright i'm settled in front of a TV.

that's good luck!.... in Haiti

HabsFan29 said...

great work Higgy!!!

/has heart attack

HabsFan29 said...

STOP WITH THE STUPID FUCKING PENALTIES

jeebus

kevincrumbs said...

@HF29: Yeah, what you said

fezworth said...

Some soft hands there by Metropolit.

And in an effort to bleed off some momentum from that beautiful goal, Saku Koivu selflessly takes a penalty.

Bravo, Saku! Rejean Houle (GM version) would be proud.

fezworth said...

Of course. It was bound to happen. We don't hold leads, we spot them.

HabsFan29 said...

FUCK CUBED

kevincrumbs said...

They're tearing Carey a new one on the Thrashers broadcast

gillis said...

meh

fezworth said...

@kevincrumbs - they can say what they want, because nobody watches them in Atlanta.

HabsFan29 said...

great job gillis on the no effort comments!

fezworth said...

WHY is that man not in Panger's trunk?

gillis said...

@HF29: meh

HabsFan29 said...

missing in RDS' "which forward disappoints you most" poll:

e) all of the above

kevincrumbs said...

Wow... a PP goal? I should go buy a lottery ticket.

HabsFan29 said...

who? kovalev? who's that?

HabsFan29 said...

hey an over the glass PP in our favour for a change!

Moey said...

Now that was a Kodak moment, Kovy & Koivu hugging. I liked it alot, it's almost a turn on.

gillis said...

I guess since their putting in a bit of effort i could put a bit more ffort into my comments.

@moey: If that turns you on, that lemonparty.org thing that fezworth talked about would probably work for you as well.

Go Fucking Habs Go
Lets Go Juniors

kevincrumbs said...

Double minor. We absolutely need to score on this.

HabsFan29 said...

alright. 4 goals in a game?

kevincrumbs said...

And we do. Now let's just not give up any more goals this period.

Atlanta should replace Kari. He sucks tonight.

gillis said...

I smell chicken wings!!!

gillis said...

@Kevincrumbs: Atlanta shouldn't replace Kari, he sucks tonight

silverskies said...

Gosh I like goals. Especially five of them

HabsFan29 said...

im having difficulty breathing

Ian Vitro said...

holy shit what the hell is going on? CJAD says it's like 5-2, that can't be right...

gillis said...

chicken wings at last

Ian Vitro said...

Holy shit again Komisarek just did something right?

HabsFan29 said...

@Ian - i saw it. i was too moved to type. a defensive play AND a hit. old komi!

kevincrumbs said...

@Ian: I had that same exact thought.

Dan said...

I am so confused. And so irrationally happy.

Daniel Plainview said...

what is this?

Moey said...

@gillis,

I'm a chick, for a second I wanted to be the cream between their oreo.

word verif - svaten

As in I'm svaten buckets.

kevincrumbs said...

Wow, did a Canadien just defend a teammate? What is in the water up in Montreal tonight?

gillis said...

@Moey: Haha, oops. Sorry about that.

Daniel Plainview said...

is this real?

kevincrumbs said...

Now that we made it out of the second without surrendering our lead, I'll say it:

I want a blowout. I want to see a 9-2 win. Come on Habs, I know you can do it. Don't you just want to take your frustration out on this team?

cottoneye said...

I want a hat trick for Tanguay AND Kovalev. Come on. And a goal for Komisarek, just to make him feel good.

lawyergirl77 said...

I told you guys that they weren't playing that badly!!!! :)

Can we keep these lines forever, Bob? Even the tittyplek is having a good night... Yet they're our weakest line! The weakest link overall is Gui tonight, with Schneider as a close second.

Just don't let them make this a game, boys. Use it as a confidence builder!

Here's the problem - I wasn't supposed to go to game tonight so I didn't bring jeans and my jersey. Am in a shortish skirt and killer heels (yes, I look like a girl tonight). Does this mean I have to dress like this for every game???!!!

South Shore Habs Fan said...

a) Carey Price robs Ilya Kovalchuk high on the glove side
b) THREE PP goals
c) Kovy 3 pts, Tanguay 4 pts, Koivu 2pts, Markov 3pts
d) Komi makes a good defensive play, then flattens someone, then defends Carey

Someone should tell the broadcasters that they accidentally put on a 2007-2008 replay. Wait... we didn't have Tanguay last year, did we?


I need to see at least another full game of this kind of play for them to convince me. But it's certainly a nice change. Kovy + Tanguay = godly, why was this never tried? I thought Carbo went through every possible combo.

Oh, and Sergei looks great tonight. Andrei still sucky, though less so.

gillis said...

@LG77: Don't fuck with a streak

my verif word is: hugmetru

chris nilan said...

hell i'll throw on a short skirt and killer heels if it means we keep playing like this!

verification word - henrdi - as in we seem to be channeling hendri richard tonight

Moey said...

@LG,

Yes you do, there's nothing wrong with a killer pair of stilletoes, I own several pairs. The guys love them. Do it for our boys.

kevincrumbs said...

Na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, GOODBYE

lawyergirl77 said...

Holy fuck.

We have a number one line.

Say it with me people: WE HAVE A NUMBER ONE LINE!!

At least for this game...

South Shore Habs Fan said...

I fucking love this game.

mr. miracle said...

I smell the Cup, fellas...


Word recognition: skinfei

If they lose tonight's game I'm gonna hunt them down, one by one, and skinfei them with my knifei.

HabsFan29 said...

i can't keep up

HabsFan29 said...

does, like, a Fucking Hab have 5 points in a game or am I hallucinating?

gillis said...

2 goals, 3 assist for poonTang

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Weak call on Koivu, but whatever. AK46 got away with a blatant open-ice hit from behind earlier.

gillis said...

6 goals on 16 shots, not bad.

HabsFan29 said...

i may be getting nervous

Van Hab said...

Koivu has Kovalev's kids locked in his trunk.

"you will PLAY FOR ME you sonovabitcher"

gillis said...

PP time

melly said...

Was that the beginnings of a KO-VY chant just now?

kevincrumbs said...

I wonder if Higgy's going to whine and cry about how hard it is to be a Hab after everyone kisses his ass for the next couple of days due to this win?

He still sucks, by the way

Ian Vitro said...

Was that actually Breezer just being responsible and breaking up a short-handed rush? Holy fuck who are these guys?

kevincrumbs said...

Ah, the sweet sounds of "Les Canadiens sont la"...

HabsFan29 said...

i still think im hallucinating, but i'll just go with it for now

Ian Vitro said...

This is awesome.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Apathy = Wins

Don't stop not caring!

melly said...

Man, I missed the post-win celebratory mugging. Nice to have you back, boys.

The TittyPlex line was a disappointment, I thought they'd be better but what a night for Kovy-Koivu-Tangy!!

Too bad the Rangers won too, I was hoping we could narrow the gap a little.

Onwards and upwards, you Fucking Habs!

gillis said...

The fucking habs won a game. I haven't seen them win since, uh, february 3rd. No joke.

Jaybird said...

The first post in this thread says it all hombres!

The Habs, like the stock market, have found their bottom and everything is on the muthafukkin rise! Buy now!

Sorry for the swears im excited. How good is our new first line! Oh, theyre good.

Did anyone else love the machine Kovy as he stands up from being kneed and rings it off the crossbar. What a beast!

kristin said...

fuck this fucking team for fucking with my emotions!

lawyergirl77 said...

Dammit. Now I have to wear stilettoes and skirts to all games... Seriously - not sure how long I can keep that up. :(

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Kari Lehtonen's save on Alex Kovalev

Jaybird said...

On the lighter note: How bad was Breezeby tonight? A friend of mine said you could shoot him in the middle of a game and no one would care. Please retire and thank you for your years!

kristin said...

@ South Shore...I knew it reminded me of something!

orangeman said...

Make some room on the bandwagon people! 6 goals on what, 19 shots? Imagine what would happen if the Habs actually broke that 20 shot barrier. I didn't see the game, but hoepfully they can build on this. We need to put 5-6 in a row and we have the crappy competition to do that.

*checks flights back to Montreal for parade in June*

Arazi13 said...

not sure if this has been said but

SOUP NAZI TO GAINEY;

"NO Playoffs for you!! COME BACK ONE YEAR!"

-AA

Number31 said...

Woo bitches! Free wings!