Friday, March 20, 2009

TMS gets the game review out of the way as early as possible so that we may all enjoy our Friday later - Sens 5, Habs 4

Even the emoticons know the sky is falling

Congrats to Ovie on getting his 50th. Florida is nipping at the Habs' heels after beating the Leafs. There was a full slate of other games. But we'd thought we'd try something different today and give you a review you can read with your breakfast. Well, not really different, 'cause we're dusting off the old-style review format. Let's see if we can remember how it goes.

Plan the parade - Habs have the best third line in the league. Mad Max the Tender Greek was the only line that showed up last night. They worked, they skated, they scored, they generally wreaked havoc on the ice every time they stepped on it. Jaro came in for a brain-dead Price and gave the Habs a chance to win. The Habs as a whole did make it interesting, coming back from several two-goal leads down to only one-goal leads down. Pleks seemed to have a few moments of actual non-zombie hockey playing. Habs broke the 30-shot barrier for the first time in the Second Gainey Era. We had fun in the open thread.

The sky is falling - We don't even know where to start. How about stupid, ill-timed penalties? That seems to be a theme for this team lately. We only had two penalties, but for some reason it seemed like more. Maybe 'cause the Sens scored on both. How about a shaky (at best) Carey Price? He seemed to have come around a couple of weeks ago, now he seems to have regressed. Getting yanked after giving up four goals on 15 shots was not pretty. We know Panger would say he's only 21, but his brain may be permanently scarred. Most of the team as a whole looked completely disinterested for huge parts of the game - no effort, no skating, no nothing. We swear we didn't even know Kovy was playing until the third period. Remember when the FHF used to fight over the phrase "my boy Higgins" around here? I dare any FHF'er to claim him now. Our defense continues to be porous and useless. Our PP continues to be beyond useless. This is all just the tip of the iceberg. We'll let you fill in the rest.

Chez Parée bound? The 3rd line and Jaro are getting hand jobs in the VIP lounge, while the rest of the team is cleaning their jizz off the couches.

Next evil, evil foe - Tronna comes a callin' on a Saturday night. That used to be fun. We get the feeling it may be less fun.

OK that's out of the way. We'll find some lame excuse to post hot chicks later, so we can all get our weekend off to a sexy start.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not a single profanity? Really?

HabsFan29 said...

@anon - im savintg them all up for when we lose to the Leafs and fall to 9th

Sonia said...

BSG series finale tonight!
The Habs can go Frak themselves.

Van Hab said...

The Canucks made a great case last night for why I should start to care about them.
The Habs made a great case for domestic abuse.

Seriously, how many black-eyed women in the province of Quebec this morning are telling their common-laws "hit's hokay Jean-Francois, hi hunderstand dat c'est la faute de l'ostie'd Carey Price et non a moi. Je t'aime"

Olivier said...

I suggest you change the 'The sky is falling" tag for "The sky has fallen".

HFF33 aka Panger said...

@Sonia - frakin' eh! It better not be as boring and disappointing as the Habs season thus far. And I hope Kara is a cylon.

Hadulf said...

No way man.

Halak will be in the nets agains T.O.

Then, we will get a HUGE Halak post on here, saying he's the reaons Mentreal is HIS bitch.

melly said...

Horrific nosedive. Leaf game next up.

Put the two together and . . .

It's time for Beefcake, FHFers.

(none of the other slump busters have worked)

HabsFan29 said...

@melly - your wish is my command. ur right, we gotta take extreme measures (well, extreme for the hetero males)

Olivier said...

Gisele Budchen worked last time; can we get her back? I'm sure it's all we need.

James said...

Or how about some Elin Grindemyr? Maybe the hottest Swedish model in existence...

chris nilan said...

1. ride Halak for the rest of the year like carbo was planning to.

2. fire rollie in the offseason and hope to fuck price can be re-trained.

3.pray like hell halak paints roy back on his mask and somehow channels him.

4.go canucks go.

rufus said...

Can they call of Lil' Tits for the game so I at least have something to cheer for in the game Saturday? Or just have him come to the game wearing a Jason Blake jersey or something.

kevincrumbs said...

@rufus: I'm also shocked that Sergei Kostitsyn isn't back with the big team yet. I mean, what the fuck has Dagger done since his hot start? It's not like anyone is playing well enough to keep him out of the lineup.

Also, why this so called "panic" over the impending UFAs & RFAs? Personally, I think it's great that we can throw out all of our crappy players instead of having them stuck on our payroll for the next 76 years, like the Rangers or even the Flyers with Briere.

Ian Vitro said...

@ Van Hab - Holy shit, that's the most offensive, insensitive joke I've seen in a while. Well played.

If the rest of the season is any judge, Price will start vs. TO and be peppered with 40+ shots, and we'll lose. Hopefully Gainey has finally lost his Pricey hard-on and starts Halak for once. It sucks that he took the loss in his stats column last night when he wasn't the unconscious fuck who let in 4 goals on 15 shots.

Agreed on the RFA/UFA "crisis." Fuck 'em, I don't care how many of these gits we lose. Let's hold on to Markov and Tanguay, pretty much everyone else can fuck off. And yeah, why not bring up L'il Tits? There's at least 7 or 8 forwards who haven't been earning their dosh.

Word verif = fluscr. As in "My hope for a good playoff showing? Fluscr down the toilet this morning with my dead goldfish."