Saturday, March 28, 2009

These no effort previews need more Tits - Sabres Preview and Open Thread

Some day the Tits bros will be feared. Some day they will streak down the ice in unison, ZombiePleks in tow, and put the fear of God into the defensemen staring at them. That would be a great addition to this team. Maybe it will be tonight? Who the fuck knows. I don't even know if Big Tits is playing. All I know is that the Fucking Habs are going for 3 in a row and the no effort lazy-ass preview streak is alive, bitches!

So the basics - 7 PM start at the Phone Booth. It's on CBC, though I'm guessing you Ontario viewers will get Leafs v. Bruins. Sabres have also won their last 2, and are even more desperate than us, 5 points behind after beating the Leafs last night and still hopeful. Katebits over at The Willful Caboose deserves your attention. The no-name #1 line and Jason Pominville are worth watching. Habs lineup should be the same, depending on Big Tits' sniffles. The Sabres got a boost from the return of Ryan Miller last night, and he'll play again tonight. Your post-game adult entertainment comes from moeman in the open thread Thursday night, so it took no effort from me. And no effort for you, because I'm embedding it right here:



I told you these previews needed more Tits.

I'm not putting in any effort to find a clever line for your comments

123 comments:

orangeman said...

3-2 Habs, Tangy gets 2 Saku gets the other. Heard it here first people!

I hate Buffalo. It's from a childhood trauma. I hate the city and everyone there. Nothing personal, though.

I haven't watched the last 2 games, but plan on watching this one. My apologies in advance if that alone upsets the universe enough to cause the Habbies to lose. If they're behind I promise to turn it off and go to work to finish the stack of paperwork I have (which is what I was doing the last two games).

moeman said...

Go Pants.

Go Habs!

Go Tits!

gillis said...

The Montreal Juniors won 7-0 last night. I actually watched most of the game. The thing about those guys is that they are all actually trying.

Don't fuck with a streak.

Lets Go Juniors!!!

boob gainey said...

Salman Rushdie - eat your heart out.

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

jesus christ are those ONION RINGS?

i mean, tits, yeah

Limerick Dude said...

Well, I played the game and WON 2-1 in a shootout. Only time I've ever won that game (cuz I suck). So it looks like a shootout loss...

Moey said...

@ Orangeman, I bet a friend Habs 3-2 yesterday, hope we're right.

So here's the deal, I had to kiss the Habbie piggybank between periods on Thursday and extra ones during overtime. Does this mean I have to pack the damn piggybank and the flag to take on my vacation in three weeks? Good thing I have a gigantic suitcase.

Word verif - toncret as in my luggage will be as heavy as a ton of concrete.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

I kinda hope Buffalo doesn't suck next year, they're an interesting team to watch (they've been running and gunning for how many years now?) and their fans seem nicer than those of the Broons, Laffs, Rangers, Flyers, etc.

That being said, I hope we pound the snot out of the Sabres tonight. It would be nice if the TurtleTits line (with Andrei out, would it be the ZombieMastectomy line?) got going tonight, too.


Word verification: "diedgeni" - ill omen for Malkin or Nabokov?

kristin said...

There was a little too much effort put into this preview....

Baroque said...

There was a little too much effort put into this preview....

Maybe most of the effort was put into watching the food porn commercial. Or typing in complete sentences with decent grammar. :)

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

mmmmm....fooood pornnnn

Jaybird said...

I just saw that donut-puncher 6'2 150 pound Ryan "Gay Life" Miller say we have everything to lose on TSN. Let's light that anorexic bitch up!

I have nothing against homosexuals or anorexics btw...just Miller is both. And I have everything against Ryan Miller. 4-2 Habs and Schneider rings a 96 MPH slapper right off his computer!

GO HABS GO!!!

Jaybird said...

And note to refs please call Diving Derek Roy for all his lame-ass dives. Theyt make me sick to my stomach.

Word Verification: gibbcha

(Word Price makes on a huge glove save)

HabsFan29 said...

i assure everyone i made no effort on this preview. i have Tits on my mind all the time, it was just a matter of transferring those thoughts to the blog

Anonymous said...

Padma makes me horny.

That is all.

Daniel Plainview said...

larfing at the Ryan Miller comment.

HabsFan29 said...

gonna be a frisky night

moeman said...

Earliest Olé CHant ever?

HabsFan29 said...

i really hate the Bob Cole vs. Benoit Brunet decision

HabsFan29 said...

moeman they were even "go Habs go"-ing before the anthems

moeman said...

Bs v. leaf on ceeb in Gatineau.

moeman said...

I loved the GHG chant pre-anthem but ease up on the too-sson Olé SVP.

HabsFan29 said...

@moeman - yes, because Ottawa-Gatineau is such Leafs country. frakkin cbc. at least youre spared bob cole

moeman said...

Lucky Laps only gets 2 for dat.

moeman said...

@hf29, let me know how bobcole pronounces Pomminville.

Jesus Saves!

Jaybird said...

Price: "Gibbcha!"

HabsFan29 said...

moeman just turned to cbc for 2 minutes, i had to turn back. cole is like 4 seconds behind the play, drives me crazy. not that BB doesnt

i now consider the Houde-Pedneault era as the golden age of hockey broadcasting

Jaybird said...

BWAHAHAH Miller owns a clothing store called "The Refinery".

He's so rainbow!

moeman said...

I miss René Lecavalier and Gilles Tremblay.

moeman said...

brunet "not to be negative", then benoit goes negative. RDS has sunk, low.

Daniel Plainview said...

Miller owns a clothing store...hmmm.

moeman said...

Ever been to Buffalo? If not, don't.

HabsFan29 said...

4 guys in to protect Price. well done. boob got that message across at least, something Carbo never did

Daniel Plainview said...

Rainbow looks sharp and lucky tonight.

moeman said...

Never liked rivet, even less now. Jerk.

Jaybird said...

UGH, note to Kostopoulos. Don't fight Rivet.

How many pucks are drizzling throuhg the blue paint? Double ugh.

Jaybird said...

Yeah Gay Life is shining ... someone hack his ankle Clarke - Kharlamov style. HACK THE BONE!

HabsFan29 said...

fuck this is like a playoff game and i have to go our soon. goddamn social life

boob is like a rock behind the bench. he literally looks like stone

HabsFan29 said...

*ouT soon. i should stop drinking before i go ouT

moeman said...

Nice breastages shot there cameramanguyloveroftits.

HabsFan29 said...

red top serious cleavage!

moeman said...

Lucky hf29 didn't type he was coming out, NTTIAWWT.

Word Verif = wimen

Daniel Plainview said...

I'm still hungover

HabsFan29 said...

Higgy has seriously been reborn as a fourth line player. im not sure if that's good or bad

Daniel Plainview said...

Derek Roy is a twat

HabsFan29 said...

wtf was that penalty?

moeman said...

How soon before the refs lose control of this one?

Jaybird said...

Getting kicked out of faceoff twice = JOKE. Drop the fucking puck. Derek Roy is in my top five most hated players. He is with Mike Richards and Crosby as biggest divers in the league.

Is Higgins not one of the best PK's in the NHL now?

HabsFan29 said...

fuck cubed

moeman said...

Kovy's faceoff penalty is rule book. Steeoopid.

orangeman said...

Hit. The. Fucking. Net.

lawyergirl77 said...

fucking linesman on a power trip cost us that goal. I HATE how whiny Ruff's teams are. He should go coach diving - he's good at that.

But, damn the Habs are skating fast now. It's actually fun to watch.

Oh and Koivu was chirping at his BFF Rivet as he went to the box. Heh. I would love to see them fight...

moeman said...

Sweet shot by Higgs.

orangeman said...

My earlier post calling for 2 from Tangy and 1 from Saku? Well, 'Saku' is my codename for Higgins.

oh, and WOOT!

Baroque said...

Two notes:

1 - Montreal scored about 30 seconds after I turned on the television. Yay!

2 - A four-year-old boy is absolutely EXHAUSTING to play with after he has eaten the frosting off of three cupcakes.

I'm pooped.

orangeman said...

@Baroque: That's why god created meth. So us old farts can keep up.

Veri word: swers
"I didn't have any meth today officer, I swers!"

moeman said...

Baroque, crush a children's gravol into the frosting. The kid won't get passed the 1st cupcake.

moeman said...

SAKU!!!!!!!

Fuck You rejean tremblay!

Baroque said...

Nah, it's cute - since it's my nephew and when I get tired of playing games, I go home and his parents have to settle him down. :)

Woo-hoo! Tie game!

orangeman said...

These are the Habbies I love. I was going to say, "know and love", but I don't think that fits.

moeman said...

Betcha 'arc of a diver' derek roy wants the puck to get a penalty.

Jaybird said...

To quote the great Montell Jordan:

"This is how we do it"

Word verif: fagne For Ryan Miller

moeman said...

3-2 Habs. Kovy!

Rips it, scores! said...

Schweeet.

Can anyone remember the last time the Habs came back from a 2 goal deficit to lead?

Jaybird said...

KOVVVVYYYYYY

Who wants him gone? WHAT A PASS BY SCHNEIDER!

GO FANTASY POOL!

Baroque said...

Still want to get rid of Kovalev?

When they said Buffalo has had trouble hanging on to leads, they weren't kidding.

orangeman said...

I'm actually excited watching the Habs. I'm clapping and cheering and yelling. It's....it's been so long...they're...exciting. They're playing to their potential. I think I'm going to cry.

moeman said...

@o-man, cry when they raise their 25th Cup. (wo)Man up!

Jaybird said...

Komisarek's best game since his injury and possibly season. Things are looking up my friends!

moeman said...

@Jaybird, TMI on the 'up' thing.

gillis said...

Hey orangeman, i thought you said that you wouldn't watch if they started losing. They've been losing most of the game. Whatever, they're winning now, i guess you are allowed to watch.

When it was 2-0 I was preparing a mini rant in my head, directed mostly towards Mr. Brisebois. Then the habs scored thrice so I vetoed the idea. By the way, anybody else catch breezeby attempting to hit someone and just falling on his ass. Somebody should tell him that the ice is slippery and he shouldn't go on it without his walker. Fuckin Brisebois. Fuckin retire please. Please.

LETS GO JUNIORS!!!

Jaybird said...

Koivu's goal credited to Kovy. 5 goals in last three games.

Jaybird said...

Why TMI? Sorry for all the posts I'm bored as balls....

Baroque said...

Twenty minutes left.

If they sit on a one-goal lead and go into a prevent defense, I will find a kitten and drop kick it.

Win for the cute, fluffy kittens, Canadiens!

moeman said...

Just razzin' ya Birdjay. Back to your balls.

moeman said...

Kittens? Win it for Padma!

moeman said...

eesh

Rips it, scores! said...

Baroque's place:

*punt*

"mmmmeeeeeooooooowwwww........."

*thud*

Jaybird said...

Just Awful! Saw that coming a mile away!

I'm razzed for sure but its by careless defending of Connolly. Out of all people why leave him alone on the boards? Fuck

orangeman said...

@gillis: Actually, once they were down 2-0 I started playing poker in another window on my laptop with the game playing in the background. I only went back when I heard the excitement. So, I kinda sorta kept my pomise.

Baroque said...

(Making mental note to visit the animal shelter to restock my kitten supply.)

Fracking dammit to bloody hell.

Red white and blue uniformed morons.

moeman said...

Wasted that PP.

orangeman said...

Well, my internet feed just cut out, so I guess Habs win.

Habs win, Habs win!

Baroque said...

It would be nice if Montreal would score soon. I can't hold my breath for four minutes.

Shots 14-6 Buffalo in the third period?!?

Morons.

Baroque said...

@ orangeman -

We can keep you updated.

Still tied, less than two minutes to go.

Jaybird said...

Alright...we are alone in eigth no matter what happens tonight. Now we explode!

Baroque said...

0.7 seconds remaining and Buffalo almost scored a goal just before the end siren.

But it was deflected wide.

Bring on overtime and the fight for the bonus point!

moeman said...

Update:

OT.

Also, brunet is even more unbearable.

Baroque said...

Rivet getting booed.

Attention Montreal: SHOOT THE FREAKING PUCK! YOU DON'T GET POINTS FOR HOW MANY TIMES YOU PASS IT AROUND!

orangeman said...

Don't worry guys, I'm listening on CJAD (even though all the commercials for Montreal food makes me hate you all). I listening is allowed. We'll find out. Thanks for the updates anyway.

orangeman said...

That should read: "I think listening is allowed". So far so not bad.

veri word: priests. I shit you not. That's who the Habs need on their side now.

Baroque said...

Shootout.

I HATE shootouts. Despise them with a white-hot fury.

(And I'm out of kittens to kick, too.)

word verif = dippi

I have no clever comment, but I just think it's funny.

orangeman said...

Listening to a shootout is painful. I think they used this in Gitmo. What's happening?

WHAT'S HAPPENING???!!!!!!

Baroque said...

I especially hate shootouts when they go on forever.

Baroque said...

Five shooters for each, the closest anyone has gotten is a post or crossbar ...

Then Buffalo scores on the 6th shooter and gets the extra point.

And Florida is leading Dallas, too.

Jaybird said...

Poor Price...solid game. FUCK

gillis said...

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! FFFFFFUUUUUCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!











IIII FFFFFFFUCCCCCCCCKKKKKING HHHHHATEEEEEEEEEEEE SHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOTTTTOUTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

orangeman said...

That was disappointing.

The Montreal Canadiens: Raising mediocre goalies' confidence since mid-January.

So I guess I'm not allowed to listen in the future. I'll just pretend they don't exist. That makes me happier anyway.

Baroque said...

Price was excellent.

One of my brothers is a football fan, and he hates when a football team sits on a lead and goes into a "prevent defense," because the only thing it prevents you from doing is winning.

moeman said...

Fuck.

gillis said...

I'm pretty sure I grew a fuckin ulcer. What the fuck was kovy thinking. He should have done is fuckin back hand move, top shelf thinger fuck. Or he should have fuckin done the fuckin change up. Fuck. What the fuck was koivu thinking??? He should have done the fuckin move that he pulled on lundqvist in the great comeback game fuck. Fuckin Lapierre and his speed change. As if Miller hadnt seen the highlights you fuckin twat. fuck my life. Now wheres the nearest bridge.

Baroque said...

So I guess I'm not allowed to listen in the future. I'll just pretend they don't exist. That makes me happier anyway.

For your own mental health, it would be good - but I think they are too determined in their suckage attempts to be deflected by any mere mortal superstitions.

gillis said...

Why am I a fuckin habs fan? They make me depressed as fuck. Fuck. If the habs dont make the playoffs im going to become a Caps fan. Their so much more exciting. Plus they have the best player in the world and they dont fuckin suck. Oh my fuckin god the habs suck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

gillis said...

And now the fuckin panthers are winning against the fuckin stars. Cmon Mickey Ribs!! Do the habs a favour and score a couple. please. Oh well. Whats the fuckin point. The sky is falling. If it hasnt fallen already.

Baroque said...

*hugs gillis to stave off suicidal thoughts*

It's be okay - Florida can only pull to within a point. The point that Montreal managed to hang on to means that Florida can't tie them in a playoff position.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Fucking fuck fuck.

"Protecting" a one-goal lead? Fuck you, Fucking Habs.

Overpassing and doing fuck-all in overtime? Fuck you, Fucking Habs.

Plekanec? In a shootout? He sucks in shootouts. Fuck you, Fucking Habs.

Going for the five-hole even after you fail it at like 3 times, and Tanguay almost scores by going high? Fuck you, Fucking Habs.

Losing the game after Pricey plays his heart out? Especially fuck you, Fucking Habs.


Goddamn.

Also, Markov sucked tonight. Like, really sucked. There, I said.

(But he's usually great, so all is forgiven. That doesn't go for the rest of you fucks.)


Word verification: Miller acts twattyli. His face looks like a vagina. A hairy one.

Rips it, scores! said...

Absolutely terrible day of sporting results from a personal standpoint, and now our clocks have gone forward, so I have an hour less until Monday morning.

FML

gillis said...

SSHF has got it right. Fuck 'em all. Except for Jesus Fuckin' Price. TFS played like a fuckin king in the fuckin shootout.

Someone has got to teach Kovy how to play fuckin defence. When the puck is in our zone, along the boards or whatever, he fuckin stands at the fuckin blueline waiting for the puck to pop out. ITS NOT GONNA FUCKIN POP IF YOU DONT MAKE IT POP YOU FUCKTART!! And the fuckin worst is his fuckin forechecking. Its the fuckin worst forechecking ive ever fuckin seen in my life. Its as if hes doing it just to say he fuckin did it. FUCK YOU KOVALEV!!!

Dagger played like fuckin shit in the fuckin first period so Gainey benched him for the second half of the game. I'm sure hes happy he didnt take part in that 3rd pperiod pukefest. Time to take out that stand by me clip again. Kovalev is a fuckin lard ass.

And as soon as the third fuckin started it was obvious that Gainey was pulling a fuckin Carbo. Only a Canadiens coach would try to protect a fuckin one goal lead. Fuck you Coach Gainey (I still love you as a GM though).

And I'm pretty sure I mentioned this already but: FUCK YOU LAPIERRE AND YOUR FUCKIN SHITTY SHOOTOUT MOVE!! As soon as I saw him skating that slowly, i knew he was going to fuck it up. Fuckin douche bag.

Fuck you Montreal Canadiens.

Olivier said...

Meh. Is it me or they kinda looke out of gas in the third?

Oh, and how can Pleks, D'Agostini and Siarhei all look good individually and yet suck balls like... like...

I think I'll leav it at that. My word is "eliffies".

"Oh, Eliffies! Why won't you love me you bitch?!"

(I was always smooth as silk with the ladies y'know)

South Shore Habs Fan said...

ITS NOT GONNA FUCKIN POP IF YOU DONT MAKE IT POP YOU FUCKTART!!
IF YOU DONT MAKE IT POP YOU FUCKTART!!
MAKE IT POP YOU FUCKTART!!
MAKE POP YOU FUCKTART!!
MAKE POP FUCKTART!!
MAKE POP TART!!
MAKE POPTART!!

Damn you, gillis!

gillis said...

@SSHF: Its a subliminal message.

Man I wish I had poptarts. I dont even have cookies. All I got are those sweet and salty bars. lame.

lawyergirl77 said...

Yo, guys... Step away from the bridge. We really dent play a shitty game tonight. Yes, we got putshot on the 3rd and played a couple of shifts way too passively, but we were still playing well overall. I'm disappointed but not angry - lots of positive stuff to build on.

That being said - FUCK THE SHOOTOUT.

gillis said...

I've heard this mentioned before. What if the league put a shootout deadline. Like, for the last dozen games, there isnt a shootout. Just so that it isnt as obvious that a team can miss the playoffs because one player can deke as well as another.

Jaybird said...

As hard as it is relax gang...we are playing better and the wins will come. As long as we make it who gives a shit! Gotta be feeling good about our play lately.

gillis said...

I really dont know what got into me. I'm calm now. I was just so fuckin pissed.

Habs dont suck as much.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Rather than a shootout, why pit each team's cheerleaders against the other's in a mudwrestling match?

lg77 - I agree it was a decent game, but it's just so frustrating to see old problems reemerge. Notice that the subjects of all the fuck-yous occurred in the 3rd period or later. First two were amazing (hey, we've gone from playing 20 minutes to playing 40-55, it's an improvement!).

I guess I can try to be more positive:
-Holy crap, was Higgins amazing or what? Screw 40-goal scorer, if he plays like that every night he'll be a perennial Selke contender.
-I like it when Lats hits people. It makes a crunchy sound. Same goes for Komi.
-Price was amazing, great focus even with all the traffic. And outstanding in the shootout!
-Dandy was hitting. DANDY. Wtf.
-Breezer was hitting, too. I giggled a little when he did, but give him points for trying.
-Sergei was pretty good, though his passes were pretty much wasted.
-Don Cherry showed a clip from the Habs game on Coach's Corner (!!!), and was after the linesman for diddling around on the faceoff. Yes, Don Cherry defended Alex Kovalev. I know, I'm scared too.


The Max-Kaleta hit bothered me. Max should have let up, but still... Kaleta was standing facing the boards, about 2 feet away from them, and didn't move before receiving the puck, while playing, or after passing it. Against any other team, he'd have been carried out on a stretcher.

HabsFan29 said...

i just got in. nice open thread guys. let's just hope it wasn't Padma's fault

Van Hab said...

I was out at the Lennox in Vancouver watching the game and most people in the bar were pretty nonchalant until it got to the shootout. Once the game turned into a shot-for-shot duel, people got real vocal pulling for the habs. We lost, then everyne got over it.
We're still in 8th, everyone played pretty well (Kovy!) and there are still enough games left to make it. We'll play the Broons in the first round and it'll be anyone's series. whatever, s'all good. Stop getting all emotional about it.

In other news, after a seven or eight year hiatus, I got back into Metallica today. Jesus fucking CHRIST Orion is an amazing song.

Love yall. I should stop doing so much blow.

Baroque said...

Damn, gillis - I had to get pop tarts when I went to the grocery store this morning.

word verif = inglyg

Oddly enough, that is almost exactly the sound I made when Montreal gave up the tying goal last night. :(

gillis said...

@Baroque: Well your lucky, I'm still stuck with those sweet & salty bars.

No Post game? or TMS? or anything? Slack asses...

Juniors play at 4 pm. If Rouyn forces game seven, I'll be getting myself tickets to the game.

Baroque said...

No Post game? or TMS? or anything? Slack asses...

Taking the lack of effort thing to the extreme, I see. :)

If it were possible, I'd email you some poptarts and you would find them in your DVD drive. Make a grocery run and get some cookies or something - you'll feel better.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Hm... so according to Wikipedia, Ryan Miller is a shootout specialist (10-4 in 2006-2007).

I don't feel as bad, somehow.

Bring on the Blackhawks (and hope that Huet isn't playing!)

eyebleaf said...

That picture is amazing.

Pure Tits.