As I am sure you all know, tonight is the all-important 6th night of the Jewish Festival of Lights. It's important because it's when all the little Jewish kids go "FUCK, we only have two more days of presents" just before mom slaps the kid and says "in Africa, they don't even get presents!" thus starting the kid down a path of a lifetime of Jewish guilt. It's true, it happened to me when I was young. Us Jews are all about tradition. So grab yourself some of the traditional Hanukkah fare of fried calamari and let's plotz all over this preview.
Waiting for the messiah - 7 PM start from the swamps of Jersey. First meeting of the teams this year. Habs on a 3-game losing streak, all by 1 goal, while the Devils are 8-2 in their last 10. Oy.
Awesome shiksas - first Devils game of the year so we get to re-acquaint ourselves with the awesome librarian-ness and awesome cooking tips of the awesome Ookies over at the awesome Interchangeable Parts. Did I mention about the awesome?
Hotter than the oil to fry your latkes - SquidPleksTits, SquidPleksTits, SquidPleksTits.
Cold like your mom when you don't call. Why don't you call? All I ask is a phone call once a week. Is that too much to ask? - Little Tits now pointless in 6.
Hot like the 7 flames on the menorah tonight - Elias, Parise, blah blah blah. One of the greatest goalies of all time, blah blah blah. Oh, he's going for the record 104th career shutout. He'll get it tonight, it's only fitting.
Cold like your mom when you aren't married yet over the age of 40. Mein gott! All my friends have at least 6 grandchildren. And what have you given me? NOTHING. I HAVE NO SON. - see 8-2 in their last 10 note above, no one really cold for the Devils.
Oy gevalt, my back. Call Uncle Morty to get me an appointment with his orthopedist - the usual. Rumours have Benoit Pouliot playing with the Bulldogs this weekend. Some quick line juggling, with Mad Max to the 3rd line for some hot Max and Max action, with Métro down to the 4th. TFS with the start.
Post-game adult entertainment - Jews don't talk about sex.
Please enjoy some foods fried in oil in the comments