Ok, it’s all over now. We’ve packed up the emotion and dismantled the stage. It’s not about “Oh, Happy Birthday Montreal Canadiens, we love you, you look so young for 100!” anymore. And poo-pooing on the ceremony a mere 24 hours later wouldn’t have struck the right chord with anyone. But it’s been 3 days now and we’re over it. And now that we are, one question begs to be answered.
VIGGO MORTENSEN ???!!!!!
That’s so left field that if measured in actual baseball geography, you would have to build a whole other stadium to the left of the current stadium and have your left fielder play there all by himself on a giant and separate fucking left field.
By choosing freaking Aragorn, the Habs just blew the doors open on the strangest, nonsensical, non-affiliated what the fucks one could think of to speak at the Habs’ centennial party.
I mean, at this point if you’re gonna go with Aragorn, you might as well go with the entire cast of nutjobs on the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
But why stop at Tolkien?
I mean if you’re going Viggan, you can venture even further and ask, I don’t know, Dolly Parton to introduce Patrick Roy! Wooooooweeeee!!!
Forget that, I mean, if Viggo’s in the house, why not just ask Harry and Sally to come on down and introduce Jean Béliveau!? That makes a ton of sense. Sally could have that famous deli orgasm right there at centre ice!
Hell, why stop there? I mean Viggo’s role in the ceremony was such a natural choice, to emulate that logic you would need to ask Freddy Kruger to introduce Ken Dryden.
And while we’re at it, maybe E.T. could have introduced some of the players. Get him to point at them with that glowing finger. Put him behind the goal and get his finger to light up every time the Habs score. Hell he should have been there.
Good job, Habs marketing brass, what a spectacular choice, asking Viggo Mortensen to walk down the red carpet on one of the most important days in this storied franchise's history. I mean what happened? Was Homer not available for the evening?
Or maybe you just could have asked fucking Benji to do the honors.
If you were going to make a splash in the surprise guest effect market, you could have asked Willy who would have been just ELATED to be there.
Viggo “Aragorn” Mortensen as the best choice to introduce Guy Lafleur? What you talkin’ bout Habs marketing brass?