Wednesday, December 23, 2009

It's time to get into the Christmas spirit for this Carolina preview and open thread

Ho ho ho! And ho! Let's stop with the bad sexual entendres and let's get festive everyone! Of course, it's easy to get festive when you've won two in a row! Woohoo! Plus, it's sort of a voluntary day here at my office, so we're drinking Irish coffees this morning. Double Woohooo!!!!

OK, how about a stat that everyone is talking about to get you and me down from this Bushmills-induced 11 AM high? Habs have not won on December 23rd since 1945. 1945! To give you some perspective on how long ago that was, back then I used to buy only a half-gram of meth at a time. My how times have changed! On Dasher with the preview!

Waiting for Santa - 7 PM start in Carolina. In the only other game between the teams this year, Habs needed a shootout in Montreal to win back in November. Canes suck big time, mired in last place in the Eastern conference, and in the whole league for good measure.

Put up a stocking for - Life and Times of a Caniac is just good, honest reporting on the Canes.

Hot like the fireplace you put the stocking up over - I would like to dedicate the Habs portion of this section today to the greatness that is Pleks right now. He's in the top 10 in league scoring. He has as many points as the following NHL stars - Backstrom, Richards, St. Louis. He has more points than the following NHL stars - Marleau, Kovalchuk, Stastny, Iginla, Kane, Zetterberg, Alfredsson, Stamkos, Nash, Malkin, Lecavalier. OPEN THE FUCKING CHECKBOOK BEFORE JUNE BOB. ENOUGH OF THAT STUPID BULLSHIT "DON'T NEGOTIATE DURING THE SEASON" POLICY.

For the Canes, ah, um, uh, looking, um, Sergei Samsonov has 2 goals in his last 2 games.

Cold and dark like the coal Santa left in your stocking because let's face it, you're the naughtiest motherfucker this side of Kim Jong-Il - Little Tits pointless streak up to 10 games. Metro not doing too hot lately either. Is Dagger still on this team or is he in Hamilton? Seriously, I really don't know. For the Canes, Brind'Amour pointless in 10, Jokinnen pointless in 3.

Donner, Blitzen, and Vixen (heh, Vixen) are all out with lower body injuries, putting Santa's perfect record at risk - so Mara and Gio have come back to Montreal. Gio has taken a step back and can't skate for four days. Hamr is out. On the good news front, the Benoit Pouliot era is upon us! He'll play with Gomez and Little Tits. Jaro gets his 3rd straight start. Let's face it, he deserves it.

Post-game holiday adult entertainment - a whole gallery of sexy Santas should keep you warm and entertained while waiting for the real Santa.

Let's hear what you want from Santa in the comments

81 comments:

Jerry Dandridge said...

Gainey can't sign Plekanec until January 1st, so can we all stop the complaining at LEAST until then?

canucklehead said...

im going to be at this game, they are giving out eric cole bobble heads so ill be sure to disfigure mine brooks orpik style... i hate that bastard cole

bea.habs.fan said...

all I want this X-mas is a healthy team and a hot streak for all up to and including the wonderful month that is June.

fuck world peace

Habsfan10 said...

@ Jerry:

Can't sign until January 1. Can negotiate any fucking time he wants, but doesn't because of his asinine policy. Get a handshake agreement and sign on the dotted line when it's good and legal ... don't wait until Pleks prices himself right out of town. I think that's what 29's saying.

WV - underiz. If Gainey doesn't quit it with the stupid "don't negotiate during the season" bullshit, someone's going to sign Pleks right underiz nose.

Boob Gainey said...

If Bob negotiated with players still under contract Mike Komisarek might be the Habs' captain right now.

Moey said...

@Boob,

Or Kovy.

Anonymous said...

@Boob:

In Bob we trust, then, right?

Anonymous said...

If Pleks is playing somewhere else next year and we`re still swearing over BGL`s uselessness, there will be hell to pay...

Seriously, Bob, get to it!

too close to toronto said...

espn's nhl page has a several polls of the decade's best _____. today's poll is for the best moment of the decade and i just voted for saku's return.

just sharing in case anybody else also wanted to vote in this poll. (what can i say? i'm a sucker for polls and lists.)

GoldenGirl11 said...

In hindsite Gionta probably shoulda been on top. No resting that foot if he's carrying the line.
Happy holidays all.

moeman said...

Is there such a thing as 'bad sexual entendres'?

Pants!

moeman said...

Misfit Boys

Habs are an Island of Misfit Boys
On which line will the PETA'd out BGL play?
Bob needs to CHange his SantUFA Claus
And ride Plek's fucking magic sleigh!

A stack full of Tit toys
Means a rack full of joys
For millions of us FHfanboys
And for our semi-tanned FHfangoyles
When this Christmas Day is here
1945s no longer the most wonderful year.

A Hab-in-the-box waits for our coaCH to shout
"Wake the fuckup! Don't you know that it's time to cut that shit out!"
When this Christmas Day is here
1945s no longer the most wonderful year.

Boys galore, scattered on Bob's 09 UFA floor
There's was no room for any fucking more
And it's all because of SantUFA Claus.

A shooter for our PP
Some hot pants for you
The kind that will say, "sexual entendre?"
When this Christmas Day is here
1945s no longer the most wonderful year.

How would you like to be a Spotted FrancOntarian?
Like a CHoo-CHoo with tête-carée on your caboose?
Or a PP pisstol that shoots -- goals!

They're all misfits!

How would you like to be somewhat Spanish without the fly?
Or Gu:('s love boy, now a 4th line ostriCH?
Or a boat thats leaking SOGs galore?

They're all misfits!

If we're off the Island of Unwanted CH Boys
We'd miss all the fun with the FHF girls and the boys
When this Christmas Day is here
Make it the most wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful FHF day of the year!

~~~

A most Joyful, Sexy and Safe Holiday Season to all of my fellow and feline Four Habs Fans friends.

~ moeman ~

HabsFan29 said...

i bow to the master, sensei moeman

ok let's break this stupid december 23rd curse

BB is mcsplooging all over the Urologist

HabsFan29 said...

ok c'mon boys, quick strike

HabsFan29 said...

BEAUTIFUL!!!

moeman said...

WOW! That was fucking GorGeous.

moeman said...

Beer me you bastage!!!

HabsFan29 said...

hey we're having fun now!

moeman said...

Gros Seins! make s it 2-0

HabsFan29 said...

hey Pouliot looks big. or is it just because he was next to Gomez?

HabsFan29 said...

pretty pathetic, senor

moeman said...

Super Pleks bags 2 pts so far, climbs NHL standings, will he get any sports media jackal love? Will Bob prep a new contract? Go, Super Fucking Pleks!!!

HabsFan29 said...

fuck

HabsFan29 said...

crazy chances both ends

GoldenGirl11 said...

At a resto bar. Panthers Rangers game and everytime the panthers score... silence.

HabsFan29 said...

little tits FINALLY!!

moeman said...

Small breasts perks up! (Super Pleks is WOW!)

moeman said...

HF29, fuck the beer, Bourbon me you bastage!

HabsFan29 said...

boilermakers for the next one moe

ZombiePleks to SuperPleks in 8 months. it's a Festivus miracle!

HabsFan29 said...

interference? hooking? something?

HabsFan29 said...

funny bounce maybe but i'll take it!

moeman said...

Métro! <-- 9th fucking misfit goal.

HabsFan29 said...

when was the last time we scored 4 goals in a period?

moeman said...

1945?

HabsFan29 said...

heh @ moe

ok i could take more 1st periods like that. though we benefited from some shaky goaltending too

moeman said...

Fun first period fact;

Habs outshot (not sexual entendré) 13-11.

Shutdown said...

*Approaches podium*
*Shuffles papers*
*Coughs*
*Adjusts Microphone*


Olé, bitches.

HabsFan29 said...

ouf

nice work poule

HabsFan29 said...

max lapierre. there's a name i haven't heard in many games

moeman said...

Isles pop 2 quick ones for some pre-Xmasaculation.

HabsFan29 said...

Jaro is helping out now

HabsFan29 said...

over the glass. my least favourite penalty

moeman said...

Opposing team players that embellish and taunt the over the glass should get 2 minutes.

moeman said...

Weird how Paul Maurice isn't the media star he once was. Must've changed teams.

HabsFan29 said...

my god what chances... missed

moeman said...

my god what chances... missedfit

moeman said...

Métro! (does he think he's Super Pleks?!)

HabsFan29 said...

less misfit on that one. nice

HabsFan29 said...

Jaro!

hey, wings for everyone!

Moey said...

Ha! Another PP goal, are we first in the league yet?

moeman said...

Moey!!!!!!!!!!

moeman said...

Being outshot 32-21 means something, right Coach?

~~~ WV = copier, as in Hey Maurice!, get that fucking CV off the copier!!

moeman said...

tsn is weird, they broadcast empty-headed yet somewhat pretty femmedeskbots but still showcase really fucking ugly people like McSplooge and NoChin Miller, a freakish duo that gives the +60ish Jagger&Richards a run for their money.

Moey said...

@moeman,

The cool thing about commenting here during games is that I'm not watching hockey alone. The cats, bless them, keep me company and try to look interested.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
GorGeous!

moeman said...

I am in FHFHeaven.

Moey said...

@moeman,

FHF is heaven. I used to dwell in the hell called HIO. *cringe*

HabsFan29 said...

if this is heaven, does that make me god? woohoo!

GoldenGirl11 said...

So happy for Mr. and Mrs. Kostitsyn. Both of their tits scored.

bea.habs.fan said...

@moey.
did same always on HIO but now FHF is home.
thank God for this blog
keeps me sane

chose the right game to finally be home for

moeman said...

The meowish Moey knows.

~~~

I am one who likes the math of the game of hockey )its easy AND fun) but I cannot fathom how the Cane calculates that may shots this eve. vs. our shot-taking Habs. Maybe there is some kinda sexual entendré I am missing.

moeman said...

@ GG. maybe Andrei and Sergei's Mom fed her boys from the breast. They might be misfit but they sure weren't misfed.

moeman said...

Were those sausages, with onions, on a nice egg bun?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Good thing Mrs. K didn't stuff her bra

moeman said...

It ain't over yet but this may be the sweetest victory over the fucking Canes since they took out Saku's eye and summarily our team in some Bettman-fixed playoff a few years back.

~~~

WV = phocu, as in phocu Williams for gauging Koivu's eye, you fuck.

Moey said...

Just asking you fine folks to say a prayer for my wee mum who's in hospital, she's stable but at 84 years old you never know. Mum is a scottish lass who came to Canada in 1952, fell in love with hockey and the Rocket. Mum rocks.

HabsFan29 said...

@moey - done

moeman said...

@GG, maybe she did on #2 cuz Little is little for some reason (compared to his cream rises to the top bro).

~~~
Sidenote, wonder if Trevor Timmins has a

Where you breastfed? checkbox on his player profiles?

moeman said...

@Moey, fait accompli.

@ Moey's Mum, +many, many more years and merci for our Moey.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moey
Sorry to hear. Extra prayer tonight.

moeman said...

Unbalanced SOGs reflect JM's system. Fix that and with the small Giant back and the New Year will be a resolution for good things.

Moey said...

Thanks guys, you rock.

bea.habs.fan said...

@Moey - all my thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

moeman said...

Tonight's win belongs to Moey's Mum. Courage and strength.

HabsFan29 said...

i left RDS on while i was doing other stuff now i remember why i dont watch antichambre. yegads. more captains and language crap. blech

Moey said...

*group hug* I'll let her read this tomorrow, when she's sipping her thermos of tea that I bring her. According to my mum, hospitals make lousy tea, "dishwater" as she calls it.

'night all.

moeman said...

HF29 knows, rds' anti-CH is a 101ish ceSSpool.

FWIW, rds' anti-CH bergeron (career loser coach, never won a fucking thing) spent all of last year on tqs rattlesnaking Tomas Plekanec to the point of derision, mocking Plekanec's name with a sick SSSSSSSSS and outrightly piSSSSSSing on the man. It was SSSSSSSSSSSickening. rds's chamber has become an old Les Boys club and we aren't 1/2 way through the season. Um, nice fraternizing there Mr. Sénateur Demers.

bea.habs.fan said...

@moeman
bergeron is now singing PLeks' praise.
talk about opportunist. blech

bea.habs.fan said...

and in talking about the poule (chicken really that's where you want to go?)
demers slips in a Gu:( reference

moeman said...

It'll be funny to hear if Jacques mentions Gu:( in the fucking Senate.

gillis said...

i missed the game again. And they fuckin won again. I'm only gonna start watching when they lose a game.