Saturday, December 19, 2009

Desperate times call for desperate measures - Isles preview and open thread

Let's face it, Habs need a fucking win. I'm not greedy. Just one for now. That would be lovely, thank you. On the heels of Sexy Friday's cancellation, we figured we'd continue our no hot chicks policy until a win. Desperate times.

So the game gets underway at 7 PM in Long Island. This is game #1 of a the annual Christmas road voyage from hell, the time of year when the Habs usually suck up the joint so that the whole family can enjoy some quality entertainment at the Bell Centre. This year, it's Cirque de Soleil. Fuck you, Cirque de Soleil. Although, now that I think about it, Habs are already sucking up the joint, so maybe the trend is reversed this year. Hope, hope (delusion, delusion). Habs have won two games against the Isles this year, both in the 514. Isles are just as bad as the Habs right now, so maybe there's hope (delusion). We would like to date the 7th Woman.

Big Tits is on fire. Fire, I tell you! I don't know what it is, but I like it. He's making up for his little brother who is pointless in 8. Props to the Urologist who might end up as a forward tonight, but he's held the fort on the PP. No props to the 8 million dollar black hole of suck. Though in his defense, he's playing with no one. And he does seem to be working. Just not contributing. If that makes any sense.

On the Isles side of the ledger, not too many on the hot side. The cold side, however, is loaded. Okposo and Tavares pointless in their last 3, our old buddy the Swiss Mister is slowing down, and they have no goaltending.

OK, on to the reason any of you have any interest in this game whatsoever. You didn't think I was going to lead with that did you? I had to get you to read all the way down here. And now look at you. Steam coming out of your ears as you frustratingly scream at your computer monitor WHEN THE FUCK IS HE GOING TO TALK ABOUT MARKOV ALREADY??? Well, shut your trap, here you go. While we are all thrilled he returns tonight, let's not go treating him like the Franchise Saviour. First, we already have one of those. Second, the guy hasn't played in two months. He's going to be rusty, and he's not playing 30+ minutes in his first game back. Third, a hockey team is 20 guys, not one. With all that said, FUCK YEAH VODKOV IS BACK!!! WOOHOOO!!! PLAN THE PARADE, BITCHES!!!111!!11!!

In other injury news, no word on Hamr though he's with the team on the trip. Gionta is also with the team, and spent 45 minutes skating yesterday by himself. It's a start. Gomez was spotted praying for his return. Jaro is getting the start.

No post-game adult entertainment listings until we win. You'll have to do penance instead. Try following l'Antichambre on Twitter. That's painful enough.

Vodka shots for everyone in the comments.

59 comments:

L Dude said...

I am quietly pacing my self with one Vodka and Coke each hour until game time, starting now. Then, the pace will depend on the game.

On another note, I can expect to start moving up in my hockey pool at work with the return of Markov, Gagne and Smyth (I have Kopitar who's sucked since he's been out)!
Look out bitches. Here I come!
Not unlike the Habs, I have a big hill to climb, with 6 guys ahead of me just to get into the 3rd place money. But I have faith.

Later fuckers. Probably won't be on during the game. Cheerio.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@29
Uh oh. Scared 'em all away. So not fair. It could be a pituitary gland thing.

HabsFan29 said...

@GG, I think she's hot! what's everyone's problem?

Hamr not playing btw for anyone interested

J.T. said...

I'm just commenting so I can have the vodka. But, since I'm here anyway, if the Habs lose this one I'm getting a Taylor Hall jersey.

wv: wylish. I'm really wylishing for a big win tonight. Then about six or seven more of them before they stop.

Robbie said...

I guess tonight will be the start of seeing if Vodka truly was the difference. He'll need 4 or 5 games to get back into the beat but if we don't start to change direction dramatically it might all be over before it matters. Vodka on the rocks with a twist of lime please. Enjoy the game tonight

habsfanonthewestcoast said...

on the bright side, this is two games in a row we don't have to watch on RDS and listen to Brenoit Bunet.

Shutdown said...

This blog needed more fat chicks, this is a good start.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@29
she is hot but that's also a pituitary gland thing.

Shutdown said...

By the way, anyone see Mason Raymond (son of Bertrand)'s goal last night on Theodore? Jesus Fuck. That was beautiful.

boob gainey said...

Today I bought GTA4 Tales from Liberty City.

I'll be doing dirty jobs for Gay Tony instead of watching the train wreck.

By the way, there was an awful racist on l'antichambre yesterday. This guy (not sure who he was) was going on about how there were too many Steves and Bobs in Montreal, how Larry Robinson's number should never have been retired, etc ... Bergeron and Morisette looked very uncomfortable.

Anto said...

no fat chicks.

habsfanonthewestcoast said...

"By the way, there was an awful racist on l'antichambre" what do you expect from a bunch of pure laine...

HabsFan29 said...

very good point on RDS right now (i know, i know). all the teams we're playing on this road trip suck. we have a shot to do something decent with it. DO IT FOR FUCK's SAKE

Number31 said...

VODKOV!

Think the Habs can snowmobile to their next game? Kick it like it's the 1970s.

boob gainey said...

"what do you expect from a bunch of pure laine..."

is just as bad.

HabsFan29 said...

@boob - i took that as satirical. i hope it was. but what do i know, im drunk on vodka

Flyers lost again. we can all take solace they have bigger problems than us

HabsFan29 said...

do we take a shot of vodka every time markov is on the ice?

HabsFan29 said...

plenty of good seats still available in Long Island!

atta way Jaro. you'll do well... somewhere

habsfanonthewestcoast said...

yes boob, it was satirical, i'm 7th generation french canadian, grew up in quebec city watching Guy Lafleur playing for the Rempart no my dad's lap, same high school as Le Roi Patrick, and bla bla bla bla bla.

And I taught the serious people were hanging out on HI/O

HabsFan29 said...

VODKOV!!!!!!!!!

HabsFan29 said...

@habsfanonthewestcoast - a young Guy live. damn im jealous

habsfanonthewestcoast said...

funkin'eh Markov, the Savior!!!

HabsFan29 said...

did they just say the Urologist has 17 points? im impressed

Shutdown said...

Who does Markov think he is?

HabsFan29 said...

HE FUCKING HIT HIM IN THE FACE

Baroque said...

Does Montreal make a habit of giving up shorthanded chances that often?

The power play didn't look like the Canadiens were at an advantage at all.

HabsFan29 said...

@Baroque - if there is a bad habit, i think we have it

Shutdown said...

@29
All I could think of was the stun gun scene in the hangover: "In the FACE"

HabsFan29 said...

Jaro's trade value is rising

GoldenGirl11 said...

Still only 6 shots. I don't understand.

boob gainey said...

Apologies to habsfanonthewestcoast.

In other news, we still suck.

HabsFan29 said...

In other news, we still suck.

yes, but sucking and winning i can live with. for one night at least.

Boob, HFOTWC should apologize to YOU for comparing you to a HI/O commentor. the worst insult of all!

but seriously, nice to see us make peace around here. we're good people

Anonymous said...

Am at the game. It's unreal.

It's like being in the old Forum - the organs, the old building that smells of hockey, and a sea of red in the stands because Habs fans outnumber the locals at least 20-to-1.

In the hallway after the first intermission, some guy started chanting, "U-S-A, U-S-A..."

And he got resoundingly drowned out by hundreds singing, "Olé, olé, olé..."

'Twas a thing of beauty.

There is a look of disbelief on the faces of the few Isles fans in the crowd.

This is way better than a game at the Bell Centre.

HabsFan29 said...

wow, FHF has spies in opposing buildings! thx for the report anon

HabsFan29 said...

ok kids in a few minutes im off to get drunk at a holiday party. hopefully there's a teevee there. be excellent to each other

L Dude said...

So, I've had some drinks. Couple of buds over for the game. Well for poker, but 2 canceled at the last minute - pussies! Anyway just wondering how that Plekanec play was a penalty (the 1st one - another as I type I see), but Halak getting bowled over - HALAK WHAT A SAVE! - wasn't a penalty. Fkuc. Typing is hard while 1/2 drunk. Probably easier fully drunk. Later. PS. I like 'full sized' ladies. And all other sizes. Bakc to drinking.

Massive Tits said...

My pants are so wet...with Vodkov.

L Dude said...

The Marksman!

Markov for 'C'. No brainer.

Matt D said...

D'Agostini is still on this team? Huh. Who knew.

Massive Tits said...

Clearly, Pleks banged the ref's wife and/or daughter.

chris nilan said...

pleks better buy jaro some hot long island lapdances tonight.

if such a thing exists.

Matt D said...

Mike Milbury needs to be taken out behind the barn and shot.

Matt D said...

Ron McLean too, for that matter. Concussions not that big a deal, it seems.

Massive Tits said...

@Matt D
Maybe we can trick him, Bob Cole, Harry Neale, & Greg Millen to join him back there.
Bob Cole will, obviously, be well behind the group..like he's always 15 seconds behind the play.

Baroque said...

What (I'm afraid to ask) did those idiots spout about concussions?

I guess Markov makes a pretty big difference to Montreal. :)

Matt D said...

Milbury, you don't want to know.

McLean: "I don't want to be an apologist, but..." (which is kinda like saying "I'm not racist, but...")
"more people in America get concussions from cycling than playing hockey."

GoldenGirl11 said...

Schremp would fit in perfectly on our team, no?

Metro!!!!!

Baroque said...

Once I get my new passport, I'd be happy to take a trip across the border for the sole purpose of bashing them on the heads with sledgehammers.

Then making them fill out a survey every week on how sick they feel from the concussion, and follow them clinically until they show the signs of chronic traumatic encephalopathy.

See how blase they are when they are the ones who feel like throwing up when the lights are too bright. Fucking inconsiderate assholes.

orangeman said...

Woot! Now Bob can throw Halak away for a 3rd round pick instead of 4th! Oh the future is bright, my friends!

Matt D said...

Official NHL attendance for the game: 7,800. Since there were at least 4,000 Habs fans in the building, that's really, really sad.

van hab said...

Fuck yes.

soperman said...

Uhh can we have our hot chicks back now?

habsfanonthewestcoast said...

two goals and first shotout of the year, can we get tits now?

no rds, lots of booze and a win,
and of couse more VODCOV!!!!!

As my girlfriend would say; more ON

happyidiotonthewestcoast said...

all habs fan in the stand proves something

habschurchonthewestcoast said...

markov.... gretz...., lemieux, lindstrom, get the fuck out of the way, we got the best d in the nhl, the very best, next gionta and go fuck'n habs go

frenchmaninbc said...

thx boob , no apo for beeing too serious (fuck i hate pequiste).

could be worst than hi/o.

could be rds smart.

brotherly love....

HabsFan29 said...

just woke up, a little hungover. wait, we won?

moeman said...

штаны!

L Dude said...

My fucking head!

I predict Sunday afternoon, January 3rd, you will hear "The captain of your Montreal Canadiens....ANDREI MARRRRKOV!"