Thursday, March 11, 2010

FHF Classic presents a Habs-Oilers preview and open thread

FHF headquarters is crazy busy today, what with all the lawyering and meth taking. So with our apologies, we've had to dig into the vaults to rerun an old Habs-Oilers preview from the 1982-83 season. Given the state of the Oilers today, this is probably way more entertaining anyway.

Waiting in line to see Chariots of Fire details - 8 PM at the Forum. This is not one of the rare Habs games on TV during the week, but at least we've got Dick Irvin on CFCF radio. Oilers are hot like heck, winners of 16 of their last 18. Habs are struggling, winning or tying only 70% of their games this year. The glory days may be behind us.

The newspaper will never be replaced - Oilers D Kevin Lowe somehow already has a newspaper named after him, Lowetide.

Hot like the "computer software program" Lotus 1-2-3 - Mats "Smurf" Naslund is on fire, 10 points over his last 5 games. Can Europeans succeed in the NHL? For the Oil, Wayne Gretzky is looking like he may break every NHL record someday. Currently on pace for a 200 point season. Messier, Anderson, and Kurri are on pace for 100 points each. Think we'll ever see that again? Grant Fuhr continues to solidly backstop a non-existent defence.

Cold like the prison Lech Walesa is stuck in - Habs have goaltending issues. Neither Sevigny nor "I ain't no Gump" Wamsley has been able to really step it up. Could you imagine having two decent goalies instead of two mediocre ones? That would be awesome. Oilers are playing way too well to have any cold players. This is a dynasty in the making, people. You know, if they could only beat the Isles in a playoff series.

It's like the final episode of M*A*S*H - The Flower is on the shelf with some knee trouble. Tripped on a pack of smokes he dropped. He'll never be the same.

Post game adult entertainment - More Heather Locklear, working undercover as a stripper (teehee!) from the hit show TJ Hooker. Enjoy.

200 comments:

Habsfan10 said...

Egads. I think Heather Locklear has a stroke during the second performance.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Great. Now I can't get The Human League's Don't You Want Me Baby out of my head.

And no wonder we suck. Jacques Lemaire coaching? Ya right.

Jimmy G said...

Ahhhh, Glory Days fittingly (for this blog entry) recorded in 1982 by The Boss. I guess he was right, "they will pass you by."

Jaybird said...

I keep having nipple slip optical illusions in the top pic. Looks like Im stuch on FHF trying to figure it out pretty much till gametime or the gf comes home.

Job hunt = delayed. Fail.

Anonymous said...

I guess Chicken reads this blog, cuz he just used the nickname Darche Vader on RDS.

Chester said...

T J Hooker ... it was sad to see The Captain stoop so low. I wonder if it was because of Locklear ?

HabsFan29 said...

@jaybird - you're not alone. i stared at that right breast for an hour. it may not be Elaine Benes-level slippage, but i say there is something there

Habsfan10 said...

@jaybird and 29:

You want a Christmas card? Here's your Christmas card!!!!!

L Dude said...

Definitely nippledge.

This just in: Messier has a stubby.

If we're talking 1982-83, I'd have preferred The Fall Guy with Heather Thomas AND Markie Post. I fondly remember the Heather Thomas poster with the pink bikini my brother had. We had some good times together....

GoldenGirl11 said...

For it is not Heather, but you who have been exposed, for I have seen the nipple on your soul!

kevincrumbs said...

@Anon: That's awesome.

However, maybe fucktards from 25stanley or something stole it from us.

offspace said...

Thats the cleanest stripper club I've even seen!! damn. Go Pants!! Go Flat American Women!!

HabsFan29 said...

that is the brightest strip club ive ever seen

moeman said...

So this game day thread makes BR 60 years old?

Also, the pre-tearjerking Messier has a stubby because, well let's go to the unGG'd pic.

Note the young-with-hair McSplooge sniffing around.

moeman said...

Headbands!

bea.habs.fan said...

@Moe
what I love about that pic is the beer in his hand.
back when hockey player were real men and not wusses eating veggan and organic diets

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Before that picture was taken Gary Coleman was on track to be 6'2". Something happened that day and I'm pretty sure it all started with Messier being happy to see him.

Jaybird said...

lol!

Lovin' it.

Anyone else see the Sens play the Oilers the other night? I'm not exaggerating when I say the Oilers minus Deslauriers were absolutely pathetic and not at all due to a lack of effort. It should have been 8-1 nipple.

I have never said this as I am a little superstitious but with Halak in nets there is no way we should lose this game. Pat Quinnipple looks to have been just a terrible move for their young players to develop. They were lost in nipple err I mean space..

wv: hution

We will now probably lose due to my inhutions. nipple

The Politburo said...

Lech Walesa is warm and comfortable, and is being treated well, despite being an enemy of the people. Please cease and desist from your slanderous, Western-biased viewpoint or we will bury you.

Chester said...

Tac

GoldenGirl11 said...

OMG!!! The Falkland Islands have been invaded!!!!!

bea.habs.fan said...

you know I think the boys at FHF need to be educated. this nipple obsession ....

the French have come up with a brilliant solution

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/5a52180b80/forehead-tittaes-w-marion-cotillard?rel=prog_related&rel_pos=1

(still haven't figured out the posting instructions)

Anonymous said...

@bea

it might be just a post-pap smear discussion response

moeman said...

@GG, I think Coleman is the DJ in Heather's pole-less, stocking-wearing, UStripper clip.

~~~

Nice find bea.

Also, Forehead Tittaes sounds like a line name.

bea.habs.fan said...

@Moe
YUP definitely line name potential.

good news for tonite. I've taken over HF29's out-for-dinner winning streak with my own previous-commitment-can't-get-out-of winning streak. it strated with the Canda-USA gold medal game.
(I may have to ask for an RDS feed refund)

moeman said...

@bea, are oven mitts involved? (please say yes)

subdoxastic said...

@thepolitburo

A different Don Cherry:

"The Poles are right to be worried. The New General Secretary in Moscow was a beauty junior player for his team in Hungary. And I think we all remember that spring tournament in Prague!

I mean, c'mon! Afghanistan which he was agitatin' and dropped the gloves for is still goin'.

Now, now, before all you lefties get your pinko knickers in a bunch, all I'm sayin' is,I don't trust nobody named 'Andropov'!"


Well, maybe not that different a Don.

moeman said...

R.I.P. Merlin Olsen.

bea.habs.fan said...

@Moe
a qiock thought of turkey basters came to mind, but then I caught myself and thought "surely not on this blog"

moeman said...

@bea, regardless of the tools, have fun!

moeman said...

Keef me Happy Habs

~ based on Keith in Montréal or The Rolling Stones

Well I never kept a dollar from a stripper,
It always burned a hole in my Pants!
Always made my school marm happy,
She always blew my second CHance.

I need a danse to keep me happy,
I need Heather to keep me happy.
Baby, Habs keep me happy.
Baby, Habs keep me happy.

Habs always use to take candy from Oilers,
Gretzky cried he didn't wanna get him no trade.
Never want to be like Mark Messier,
Shilling for the Lays ev'ry night and day.

I need a goal to keep me happy,
I need a stubby to keep me happy.
Baby, Habs keep me happy.
Baby, Habs keep me happy.

Always got a flash out of Phoebe ,
When she showed some flesh I got boned.
Always got a lift out of Nicole ,
CHaCHi can go the fuck home.

I need some nipple to keep me happy,
I need some Tits to keep me happy.
Baby, Habs keep me happy.
Baby, Habs keep me happy.

moeman said...

Second last line should sing;

Baby, FHF keep me happy.

Note to newbies, Preview is your friend and Publish can be prematurely ...

HabsFan29 said...

rockin tune moe! +2 Sticky Fingers

go you fucking nipple go!

HabsFan29 said...

Devan Dubnyk? he's a goalie? who??

HabsFan29 said...

moe thx for the Merlin Olsen RIP. good player, announcer, actor. one of the best football colour men ever imho

HabsFan29 said...

Pleks!!!

nice quick start

HabsFan29 said...

nice helper from Tits there

Boob g said...

Plex!

Moey said...

Pleky!!! We're off to a good start.

HabsFan29 said...

well there goes the good start

Moey said...

Fuck.

kevincrumbs said...

I told you fuckers we should be worried about playing the Oilers. Down 2-1.

Jaybird said...

For fucks sakes wake up.

HabsFan29 said...

Ca-rey! Ca-rey!

jebus what a wake up call

WAKE THE FUCK UP

Boob g said...

Halak not good there.

Jaybird said...

What's the +/- on both Pouliots for points now? 4.5

kevincrumbs said...

Jaro has looked unprepared for both goals. Is he dreaming of tuna or something?

Moey said...

The thought of pulling Halak and putting in TFS doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy. Just sayin'

kevincrumbs said...

Good hustle by Darche Vader... all for nought, though.

kevincrumbs said...

Gio, still on fire!

HabsFan29 said...

this game is whacky!

kevincrumbs said...

Also, who was ripping on Gio here a couple of games ago?

Jaybird said...

Jaro is dreaming of wearing a sticker book motorcycle jacket and tight jeans like any good Slovakian.

Howard said...

Nice to see some cleavage for a change!

kevincrumbs said...

Dybnyk just makes me think of dybbuk, some evil Jewish spirit of the dead or something. GG knows what I'm talking about, right? I only know from the latest Coen Brothers film, A Serious Man.

Jaybird said...

I have ripped Mexico but not Italy can't take claim for that one.

I just saw Chris Chelios name on the boxscore for the Atlanta game. Even he must think it was a prank. What a joke.

HabsFan29 said...

i think Chelly may have been playing when today's preview was written

kevincrumbs said...

Jaro 2.0 bails out Jaro.

@Jaybird: We've all ripped on Gomer at some point this season.

GoldenGirl11 said...

In Jewish folklore, a dybbuk is a malicious possessing spirit, believed to be the dislocated soul of a dead person. Kind of like JM's suit.

Howard said...

They have a chicken too???

Kmaxx said...

Guys,,,can someone xplain to me what Pat fuckin Quinn does to keep getting jobs in the nhl? He sucked at every major role he's ever had and Team Canada won in spite of him. WTF gives?

kevincrumbs said...

@Kmaxx: Enough Leaf fans in powerful positions across the league. I was wondering what the fuck Pat Quinn is doing in Edmonton. Saddled with a shitty team and has to live in Edmonton.

HabsFan29 said...

nice puck movement. that's something

kevincrumbs said...

Great looking PP.

Kmaxx said...

Actually Quinn being in Edmonton explains why they are doing so shit.

moeman said...

The CotU media made Quimm into some kinda genius.

Jaybird said...

@ gg - ZING lol

What a power play how can we be tied here? I love our response though we knuckled up at the end of that period.

Moey said...

We need MAB back.

moeman said...

Post 69.

Moey said...

moeman,

Mr. Moey is away this week, so I don't have to cook. Any suggestions for quick tasty meals for one?

Number31 said...

Dubnyk! We get Dubnyk! Poor kid hasn't won a game all year (really, not his fault, he shouldn't even BE here). But what's up with the score? I just got home to see Gio tie it... Bwah?

Howard said...

@moey order a pizza! unless you're in the mood for Mexican cicken!

Moey said...

Howard,

I'm saving that for Saturday against the Bruins.

HabsFan29 said...

@N31 - i saw Dubnyk's record on screen and i thought it was a misprint. 0-7. he's due. crap.

kevincrumbs said...

@Moey: KD is the official meal of FHF.

Number31 said...

@Moey - Toast some good bread (or bagel), spread either some cream cheese or mayo, apply some smoked salmon, eat.

HabsFan29 said...

our 3rd and 4th lines are working hard. i like that. mad max' absence is paying dividends

GoldenGirl11 said...

I like the suggestion Esther. Dab of honey mustard goes great.

moeman said...

Moey, quesadillas.

Easy, tasty and filled with whatever you like. : )

http://hubpages.com/hub/Grilled_chicken_quesadilla_recipe_The_classic_Tex_Mex_quesadilla

Frittatas (yes I know the word contains tatas).

http://allrecipes.com/Recipes/Breakfast-and-Brunch/Egg-Dishes/Frittata/Main.aspx

http://www.epicurious.com/tools/searchresults?search2=frittata

Easy, tasty and filled with whatever you like. : )

Another fave is rice and beans.

http://southernfood.about.com/od/redbeansrice/r/bl00123d.htm

Also, GG and Esther know. Add capers.

Moey said...

31

Need to throw some Spanish onion on that as well.

I'm thinking more along the lines of a meat fondue for one. That could last well into the third period and a shootout if necessary.

Moey said...

moeman

Thanks for that and for reminding me I make a mean Frittata. Mr. Moey knows.

Number31 said...

@GG11 - that was my breakfast (cream cheese version) and my lazy fast supper (mayo version). But now I'm out of fish :(

Are the Habs really doing that "let's play down to the crappy competition by letting them think they got us" thing or are they just not interested in what would be 2 rather easy points?

...
WTF
...
Blackface Subbanator shirt wearing guys?!

Howard said...

We should get a game misconduct for that tie!

GoldenGirl11 said...

Just. Noticed. Blackface. Guys.

moeman said...

You're welcome Moey. http://southernfood.about.com/ is a great place to visit if you like it fun and spicy.

Go you fucking Habs!

Jaybird said...

Callin this right here the floodgates are gonna open!

Go Habs Go!!!

Jaybird said...

Weak!

kevincrumbs said...

What? Blackface? Didn't see them but way to honour your team's future star player...

boob gainey said...

We need either MAB back or Subban called up. We have one player who cn play the point on the PP.

Jaybird said...

Okay nm I called it! lol

What a dig fest. Greasy.

kevincrumbs said...

AK should've shot but I'll still take the goal.

Number31 said...

What the fuck kind of goal was that? Oh well, whatever, we'll take it.

boob gainey said...

I saw those guys in blackface.

I was going to mention it.

ouch!

Number31 said...

He's been drawing a lot of penalties but Martin STILL won't put him on the powerplay. Does he hate the kid that much?!

Jaybird said...

Whitney gets what he deserves!!!

Missed the blackfaces but I'd rip them off their faces if I witnessed that there is no need for that nonsense. What hole did they crawl out of?

GoldenGirl11 said...

I kind of can't get over the black face. And 1970's Room 222 blackface?

boob gainey said...

Shoot the fucking puck.

kevincrumbs said...

Bruins up 4-1 with four minutes left in the second. I don't care who wins, as long as it's a regulation win.

Number31 said...

I'm actually shocked they were let in through the doors, never mind the fact no one around them is saying anything! Even Pierre et Benoit were like "uh...what are we looking at here?..."

Howard said...

I thought the blackface went out with Al Jolson?

moeman said...

How do the face noire get into the Bell Centre? Sick.

kevincrumbs said...

Maybe they painted their faces after they got into the Bell Centre? Who knows? Why am I already anticipating some Deadspin shit on this?

Howard said...

Never mind the Bell Centre, how could they walk the streets like that? I hope PK knows what he's getting into!

moeman said...

Deadspin is one thing but methinks the Habs-hating Puck Daddy will drudge it.

Howard said...

I like the t-shirts though so when they are flogged, tarred and feathered just leave us the shirts ok?

Moey said...

Blackface assholes are probably the same "element" that was on the flight from Dallas to Montreal. Taking pictures of each other on the plane is a dead giveaway. That and not waiting for the seats in front of them to de-plane, cutting people off, the same way they drive. Fucktards, every last one of them.

moeman said...

On a positive note, Squid with Chantal about Habs work in charity organizations is heartwarming. The only nit I'd pick is Squid's jacket is a bit JM-ish.

Number31 said...

Oh so tweed, Cammy.

moeman said...

For the cheap-ass FHF iPhoners;

http://www.byki.com/irishluck/

~~~

If 29 gets a date with an Irish lass with this app, he owes me a Kilkenny or 3.

~~~

ack

kevincrumbs said...

Fucking Christ.

Number31 said...

Et bien... BOOOOOOOOO!

Howard said...

Not one of Halak's memorable games!

kevincrumbs said...

For the love of God, convert on this PP.

Moey said...

WWTF??? Why can't they just have a blowout over a shitty team? Is that too much to ask???

kevincrumbs said...

Oilers guys just called Metropolit "Kostopoulos".

moeman said...

Here we go, you fucking Habs!

Jaybird said...

I walk to the LC and miss one minute of hockey and its tied for cock's sakes.

Number31 said...

Laughing at Quinn getting huffy about every penalty the Oilers take.

kevincrumbs said...

AK cannot fucking buy a goal...

kevincrumbs said...

Ten seconds until the booing starts.

chris nilan said...

have we scored a 5 on 3 goal at all this year?

Moey said...

Should be WTF, I stutter when I get angry

Number31 said...

Why did they play better after a long flight from the West? One day off and all goes to shit eh?

orangeman said...

Can't score 5 on 3 against the worst team in the league while at home? These are the Habs I know.

kevincrumbs said...

The lesson is to never give this team a day off as a reward for good play.

moeman said...

I love tits!

kevincrumbs said...

SK, very well deserved.

Now stop fucking around and hold the lead.

Moey said...

Training bra!

orangeman said...

Finally, after weeks of teasing, some Tits.

Jaybird said...

The little ones are blooming tonight!

He's a peach....

HabsFan29 said...

Nipples!

Number31 said...

Sergei got skillz.

Howard said...

After 46DD missed an open net it's nice to see the 74B putting one in!

HabsFan29 said...

seriously pull Jaro

moeman said...

The opposite of nipples.

Number31 said...

:S

Back to normal.

kevincrumbs said...

Fucking Jaro...

Howard said...

Jaro is having a TFS moment!

kevincrumbs said...

If this game shows people anything, it's to never, ever assume that the Habs have an easy game.

kevincrumbs said...

Jaro got really lucky on that breakaway.

Number31 said...

I think Spacek tipped it actually...

Number31 said...

LOL Penner, two posts on both tries there.

Jaybird said...

Hahaha ... They picked a great night for charity night I'm sure all Habs fans watching this one feel like opening their wallets to applaud this performance!

HabsFan29 said...

Jaro should have let in 7 by now if the Oilers had any finish

Number31 said...

Kirk does more on the bench than anyone there, why don't they just give him the official "head coach" title already?

HabsFan29 said...

we're being totally outplayed by the worst team in the league

Number31 said...

Sometimes I think they just leave their brains in the locker room, SPACEK, yea looking at you and your pass to the bench during a line change....

moeman said...

cherry-ish finish?

lehab said...

well a least we got a point lol

hfotwc said...

and Prenoit Punette is so fuckin painful. What a dumb fuck.

HabsFan29 said...

fans were practically booing at the end there. they know.

Jaybird said...

Ill take a dirty win. Our wins have been pretty and weve taken some dirty losses. Give me this greasy win!

kevincrumbs said...

@lehab: Sadly, that's how I also feel.

They better fucking convert this shit.

orangeman said...

You know, even if they win they've lost.

They certainly play up/down to their competition, which indicates a lack of identity, direction and heart.

Oh well. Four goals in the first 10 minutes of the game certainly was like an 80s Habs-Oil game.

moeman said...

Go you fucking OT Habs!

Number31 said...

Score a fucking goal........

moeman said...

Go you fucking OT Habs!

Number31 said...

Just keep playing Sergei's line!

kevincrumbs said...

0-6 on the PP, pretty sure it'll be 0-7.

HabsFan29 said...

CONVERT FOR FUCKS SAKE ITS THE FUCKING OILERS

kevincrumbs said...

I like how Pat Quinn stands around and does nothing during the timeout.

hfotwc said...

what's worst that the hab sucking, is the hab sucking on RDS, those idiots are amking it x-tra painful

kevincrumbs said...

Well, at least Jaro made the save. Good job, get the boy some chocolate milk.

hfotwc said...

making it

Number31 said...

Weee fail~
If this goes to a shootout, we pray the Oilers just hit the posts.

Moey said...

JM is going to be bald by the end of the season, and so am I.

moeman said...

Go you fucking shootout Habs!

kevincrumbs said...

Whew! We survived regulation and overtime against the mighty Oilers!

HabsFan29 said...

seriously, fans were even closer to booing there. they know

boob gainey said...

Brunet is completely inane.

HabsFan29 said...

nice looking behind you Jaro

Number31 said...

I thought there was a rule about a player penalized in OT can't participate in the shootout...?

orangeman said...

Ok, so can they stop doing 5-hole?

boob gainey said...

Dubnyk is weak on high shots. So of course all 4 shooters try to go between his legs.

GoldenGirl11 said...

HEY YUTZES!! DON'T GO FOR THE 5 HOLE !!!

orangeman said...

Titties!

Howard said...

Let's hear it for the TITS!!!

moeman said...

I love Tits!

Number31 said...

Lucky the Oilers really do stink because Jaro made the first move every time.......

Gauthier looks upset.

Jaybird said...

W00t w00t!

Is that the first win we didn't deserve all year? That means we deserve it.

orangeman said...

Ok, I know what I said before but I'm very glad they got the win. It's a Western team so I guess giving them the point doesn't matter. But that's 4 in a row. First time this season?

Howard said...

(. .) BIG TITS!!!

boob gainey said...

Well, we've played better games.

Howard said...

I'm glad he got off the schneid after missing an open net!

kevincrumbs said...

Ugh. That was not a fun experience but hey, at least we won.

Bag skate the fuckers in the morning, JM.

Number31 said...

@boob - Well, we've lost better games.

moeman said...

(.)(.)

moeman said...

10 posts to the free yet never delivered ice cream!!!

HabsFan29 said...

isn't there a rule that when the game goes to a SO it takes 300 comments for free ice cream?

nice nips btw moe

Howard said...

omg I just turned around and the antichambre was on!

orangeman said...

Aaaaaaaaand after all that CJAD is talking about how great Price is.

Howard said...

Jaro just killed me in my hockey pool tonight .840 save pct!

Number31 said...

I'm confused... Price didn't play... Why did the first two callers come in to rip the kid...? Did he sit crooked or something? Am I missing something? Did he shrink and switch jerseys/equipment with Jaro who grew and switched with him? What? Someone obviously doesn't have internet to troll with I guess...?

kevincrumbs said...

Perfect quote to sum up the evening courtesy of Ian Holloway, a soccer manager in England's lower level leagues. He said this after a particularly ugly win for his team:

"To put it in gentleman's terms if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they're good looking and some weeks they're not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She wasn't the best looking lady we ended up taking home but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let's have a coffee"

2009/10 Montreal Canadiens: At least we got her in the taxi. Sure beats Nous Sommes Canadiens.

orangeman said...

@31: You're right, they were just defending Price against the callers. But whatshisname had to go on about how Price will start against the Bs. I'm just sick of hearing about Price. Nothing against the guy but can we please just spend one post game taling about the GAME. There's more than enough to complain about from tonight.

And yes I'm aware of the fact that I'm bring up Price while at the same time saying we shouldn't be talking about him. Oh, the irony.

Anonymous said...

c'mon ice cream !!

moeman said...

the anti-CHers force the horrid pjstuck to apologize to Gui('s parents. They will never let this fucking meme go.

Number31 said...

Ice cream!

@orangeman - I know, but what's up with the callers eh? Most knowledgeable fanbase...

Sergei got a nice, shiny 1st star woooo! Could have given the stars to his entire line, really.

b said...

The clip <> in the Zone Video at the RDS website is worth looking at. Apparently there was a 2008 memo from the league to the players that stated that all hits to the head were illegal point final. I am not admitted to practice in Massachusetts or Pennsylvania, but it seems to me that Gary Bettman, Esq. has ( as Ricky Ricardo used to say) some splainin to do. A cross examination from hell awaits him. Much as I hate the Bruins, their fans are a class who could take action when they miss the playoffs.

Number31 said...

That's ok, B, Collie Campbell obviously just forgot the previous infractions by Cooke.