Saturday, March 13, 2010

Who's Next - Bruins Game Preview and Open Thread

Four wins in a row. People getting healthy. A host of scoring options. A rampant Giant Mexican Chicken.

Who's next?

Our Auld Black and Gold wearing enemies, that's who. The Bruins.

Getting in Tune: 7:00 EST, at the Centre Bell. On RDS and CBC and, for you masochists who can't get enough bullshit homerism from Jack Edwards, NESN (unless there's some breaking news about Jon Papelbon's new strikeout celebration, in which case a breathless NESN will drop the B's faster than Habs fans fill TD Banknorth Garden for the playoffs). Habs winners of four straight, even if the last one was a messy shootout win over the league-worst Oilers. Bruins dismantled the Flyers 5-1 on Thursday and are 7-2-1 in their last ten.

Who Are You? His name is Cornelius Hardenbergh. He has a HockeyBlogAdventure. He definitely won't pee on you if you show up at TD Banknorth in a Habs jersey (I think). He's as rational and level-headed a Bruins fan as you'll find. I know. I find it kinda weird too.

The Kids Are Alright: That Guy Boucher is doing something right in Hamilton, I tells ya. Little Tits? Playing much better. Ben Maxwell, Tom Pyatt, the cameo from PK "F'ing" Subban? All kinds of win. Kinda wish he'd been given a shot with Matt D'Agostini (damn you, waiver wire! Damn you all to hell!!!) so I wouldn't have to spend the rest of my life hating his "Habs circa 1998-2001" level play. Bruins getting good contributions from youngsters Blake Wheeler & David Krejci (each a point a game since the Olympics).

My Generation: Well, almost my generation. Mixed bag with the oldsters, as Hamr and Jaro 2.0 look gassed but Mathieu Darche is the minor-league vet making it tough to leave him out of the line-up, Glen Metropolit continues to play as if his life depended on his next shift, and Hal Gill alternates between shutdown colossus and colossal waste of space. For the Bruins, former scoring hero Mark Recchi continues to contribute, and big fat jerkface Tim Thomas is earning less and less of his big fat contract, having been usurped by the Star Wars bounty hunter/goalie named Tuuka Rask.

Trick of the Light: Which sleight of hand artists do we get to see in between the posts tonight? Knowing Martin, Jaro's less-than-stellar outing on Thursday could mean anything. A chance for Jaro to redeem himself, or another shot for Price? Who knows what Happy Jack has in mind? The Bruins have to choose between the big fat jerkface and the bounty hunter. Personally, I would rather see the big fat jerkface get shelled even though the Habs bombed Rask the last time these two teams met.

Going Mobile: Bruins picked up Dennis Seidenberg at the deadline to add some pop to their powerplay and make some stretch passes. He teams up with Zdeno Chara and Dennis Wideman to give the B's three solid puckmovers at the back. Habs linchpin Andrei Markov is almost all the way back from his injuries, and makes this team a totally different proposition to play against.

Baba O'Riley:
I'm just throwing this in here because a) it's one of the best intros to a song ever and b) it will drive any random Boston fans reading this crazy because it will remind them of noted Yankee hothead and Red Sox nemesis Paul O'Neill's every at bat at the old Yankee Stadium.

Substitute:
The Habs won't have to use substitutes for the Squid and the Urologist much longer, as both are said to be nearing a return. Mad Max doesn't deserve his spot back but he might get it at the expense of Maxwell. For the Bruins, noted whiny bitch Marc Savard won't be embarrassing himself trying to call out Sidney Crosby or anyone else for the rest of the year after that brutal cheapshot from Matt Cooke. Miro Satan and Andrew Ference are both questionable due to groin injuries. Insert your own not that there's anything wrong with that Bruins dressing room joke [here].

The Song is Over:
Yep, it is. Trash your living room like you're Keith Moon on tour. Just don't take 32 sedatives before you go to bed. It won't turn out nearly as well as you think.

Comments, favourite Who songs I missed, anal retentive comments about how some of these songs aren't actually on Who's Next? Share em.

185 comments:

kevincrumbs said...

My favourite Who song is "Pictures of Lily". Always been a fan of those songs about self-pleasure.

I was up late last nice, hopped up on Theraflu (damn cold!) and did a Google search for Darche Vader. Ended finding a Lightning fan using the term back in 2008. Sad to say, we didn't invent the term.

Jaybird said...

Looks like Cornelius hasn't updated his site since our last matchup?

HabsFan29 said...

i can't explain it, but you better you bet this was a great preview

+5.15

kevincrumbs said...

BTW, forgot to commend GG on her work with this one. Amazing and hilarious.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Who the hell wrote Going Mobile? It's like Annie Lennox and The B-52's invaded Pete's body all at the same time to come up with that crap. On the other hand, horrible song or incredible premonition? Discuss.

RiRi said...

Let`s hope Mad Max is looking to impress in his return

Moey said...

Well Kev,

Thank you for that. The one and only nickname that I've ever come up with was used by a Lightening fan in 2008.

Excuse me, I must go and hang myself.

On second thought, fuck that, maybe I'll just have two bottles of wine instead of one tonight.

Number31 said...

I have that record!

I think Martin has a wheel in his office with the goalies on it to randomly pick who plays, honestly. Only way it explains how he plays Jaro in LA after Price was lights out in San Jose/Boston, and after Jaro looking like he was hung over vs the Oilers plays him tonight.

And I really wish Don Cherry would STOP calling Tiny Tim "Gump Worsley". That's insulting to the Gumper...

GoldenGirl11 said...

Rick Hansen is incredibly cool. What an athlete.

Jaybird said...

Photoshop is incredibly well-done GG.

Tits deservers that hair and not to be the bald guy who keeps it long cuz he can't let go....that mane would easily add three goals a season from intimidation..

moeman said...

Song/band theme game threads with slick album covers are the best.

ezzeloharr said...

I just noticed that Deadspin currently resides in FHF's "Non-Hockey Blogs, Non-Crappy Division". I motion that we modify this. Perhaps we can create a "Non-Hockey Blogs, Habs Hating Division" to further accommodate Deadspin.

Just a thought.

L Dude said...

SO, looks like Jaro gets a shot to redeem himself after a less than stellar outing. Though I'd like to see Price play, I think it's important to give Jaro the chance to prove himself. Could go a long way to salting himself as #1.

WV = nootaill:
Mrs LD says she's 'too old' (at 47) and I can feel free to go find some nootaill with no strings attached. I think it's a trick.

the Maritimer said...

The Rolling Stones are considered the Greatest Rock and Roll band in the world. In their prime the Who are right up there for that title. Anyway, that album is one of my favourites of all time, still have the vinyl from the early 70's and CD as well. Favourite song of the Who: Won't Get Fooled Again. Also like their version of Summertime Blues on Live at Leeds.

Big 4 point game tonight. I hope Gionta bites on that big fucker Chara's ankles all night long!!

Howard said...

Everyone enjoy the game! am going mobile to the Bell Centre (bleu blanc rouge face) Go Habs! Great cover!

moeman said...

Pants! explain

Got a FHFeeling inside (Pants! explain)
It's a certain beat the Broons kind (Pants! explain)
CHicken wings are hot and beers cold (Pants! explain)
Please no fucking bob cole (Pants! explain)

I said ... (Pants! explain)
I'm feeling GGood now, yeah, my (Pants! explain)

Black in the face? I say asshole fuck you!
The things The Goat said, well, maybe they're true
I'm gettin' Moore dreams again and again
I know what it means, but …

Pants! explain
I think it's P.K. love
Try to say it to you
When I feel red, white and blue

But my Pants! explain (Pants! explain)
Yeah, hear what I'm saying, GGirl (Pants! explain)

Squid is on the mend and I'm feeling glad
The things brunet says have got me real mad
I'm gettin' scary Gu:( dreams again and again
I know what it means but ...

Pants! explain
I think it's PP love
Try to say just shoot!
When I feel red, white and blue

But my Pants! explain (Pants! explain)
Beat Tiny Tim one more time, now (Pants! explain)

I said my Pants! explain, yeah
You drive me out of my mind
Yeah, I'm the nootail worrying kind
I said let my Pants! explain

kevincrumbs said...

Deadspin belongs in the crappy blog section of the links. Another once great blog that's gone down the crapper in recent years.

@Moey: Don't worry, Darche Vader is still brilliant. It's also better than anything I've ever come up with on here... which is nothing.

kevincrumbs said...

@Moeman: Nice...

the Maritimer said...

Yes, GG11, nice photoshop job on that classic Who album cover. Pissing on the Bruins symbol has been a habit of mine for over 4 decades.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
Now there's a song I'm happy to have running through my head all night. Nice!

moeman said...

Thnx kidz, was looking for inspiration and Who knew what I'd find?

Go you fucking Habs!

kevincrumbs said...

Huet gives up two in the last two minutes or so to let the fucking Flyers win.

HabsFan29 said...

moe had i not already given +5.15 to hf10 id give it to you

go you pants!

Moey said...

We HAVE to win this game tonight.

Holy crap, there's a Don Cherry movie called "Keep your head up kid" just on as a commercial. Is his life story really that interesting? What next, one on Milbury? Who would play him?
My first choice would be Mr. Bean.

moeman said...

"What next, one on Milbury? Who would play him?"

A shoe.

Number31 said...

Metro will score tonight, right?

kevincrumbs said...

@Moey: I would pay money to watch a movie about Milbury. Probably should title it "The Mike Milbury Story: A Comedy of Errors".

Go Habs Go!

GoldenGirl11 said...

I think Mr. Bean is busy with another project

moeman said...

marecked and moronson, two useless morons.

WV = riestsie, as in riestsie cuz da cbc it loves da fuckin' Broue-ins.

Moey said...

Is there somethig in the air tonight? I just looked up from the computer to see brokeback cats on the sofa. They really need to get out more.

Okie dokie. Go you stupid Habs!

moeman said...

@Moey, Spring is in the air.

Um, do we move our clocks ahead tonight? I said clocks!

moeman said...

Go you fucking Oilers!

Number31 said...

Oh crap we do change the clocks tonigh. I don't get enough sleep as it is...

HabsFan29 said...

was JM not watching the actual shootout? Jaro sucked. he got lucky. Oilers could have scored 3 goals. Price should be playing

i hate the saturday night when we lose an hour.

Number31 said...

Jacques Martin doesn't know about the "storm trooper aim" of the Oilers. But whatever. I'm more concerned about Rask shutting them out again like the last time the Bruins were in town.

kevincrumbs said...

Bell Centre assholes, way to shut up for the American anthem. As if this fanbase needs anymore negative attention after the blackface incident.

moeman said...

ack, stuck with brunet. Can I set my clock ahead 3 hours now?

GoldenGirl11 said...

Lose an hour but sun will be out till 7 tomorrow. Spring is here!

moeman said...

Gervais!

Bergeron!

Gorgeous Golden Gals!!!

moeman said...

CLARA!!!!!

kevincrumbs said...

Clara Hughes in a Habs jersey... I think FHF is even further in love.

HabsFan29 said...

CLARA IN A HABS JERSEY!!!!!!

i think i just orgasm'd

Number31 said...

Jaro gets the net, Price gets all the Olympic ladies.

moeman said...

CLARA!!!!! in a fucking Habs jersey!!!!!!

WV = sizeblig

kevincrumbs said...

Patrice Bergeron looks so out of place in his Bruins rag.

moeman said...

Beer me you bitCHes!!!

HabsFan29 said...

we need Clara in a Habs jersey in the FHF header.

bob cole. ack!

kevincrumbs said...

Almost 50 comments before puck drop, could be a 200 comments kind of night.

moeman said...

29, remember those 6 international beers a Prof gifted me? Well turns out there was a theme. Care to guess?

moeman said...

PING!

HabsFan29 said...

moe i remember the actual gift, not the 6 beers though. tell me again i'll try to guess

PING

Number31 said...

1! 1 goal post! (ah ah ah)

HabsFan29 said...

gimme one of the 6 moe!

kevincrumbs said...

Judging by the crowd's reaction, CBC cameras missed something behind the play. Bob Cole, of course, does nothing to fill the viewer in.

GoldenGirl11 said...

@29
Note to self. Mother is reading. Refrain from writing about orgasms. Especially my own.

Number31 said...

It was a too many men call. The other guy said it, but it was borderline anyway.

moeman said...

29, here's you beer, its fucking great;

http://www.rogue.com/beers/dead-guy-ale.php

Also, 6 beers from 6 countries playing in the Olympic hockey final 6 (OK, no Finns but two Canadians).

also, the Neustadt 10w30 is amazing.

http://www.neustadtsprings.com/page3.html

HabsFan29 said...

that dead guy ale looks amazing moe

of all the things about Bob Cole that big me (and there are A LOT), the way he just calls them "Canadiens" without the "the" bothers me most

HabsFan29 said...

*bug me, obvs

HabsFan29 said...

finally a PP goal

Moey said...

Marky!!!!

moeman said...

Its is very good, very cold.

I decided to enjoy the '6' on special occasions, like say, a HAbs game. Tonight I am having the Slovakian Golden Pheasant.

Vodkov!!

Number31 said...

Ok no fear about Rask shutting them out again. Markov~

kevincrumbs said...

Markov!

As an Oregonian, I can vouch for Dead Guy's deliciousness. Also, we've got even better stuff than that out here. What am I drinking, you wonder? Carrot/celery/beet juice...

moeman said...

From beeraday;

http://www.beeraday.net/beer/golden-pheasant/

kevincrumbs said...

Need a second.

I want the Habs to curbstomp the Bruins instead of playing well, dominating and then giving up a soft goal or two.

moeman said...

Nice to see that kc is keeping his innards clean asa whistle.

moeman said...

*as a, obvs

Go you fucking Habs!

First sip of Golden Pheasant is good, very lager-ish and a bit sweet.

kevincrumbs said...

@moeman: In Oregon, we either drink beer or hippie dippy vegetarian beverages. Oh, or coffee.

moeman said...

How sweet is it that our Canadian hockey gal has shut brunet the fuck up?!

moeman said...

@kc, marijuana martinis?

GoldenGirl11 said...

@Moe
I totally noticed that. He looks like the awkward third wheel on a date. His next line should be "well, uh, I guess I'll, uh, just go on home now...so bye...."

Moey said...

I'm drinking bubbly white wine, good thing Mr. Moey isn't home, I can let out man belches.

Number31 said...

Now we have "storm trooper aim"

kevincrumbs said...

Dominic Moore is growing on me.

moeman said...

A good sparkling white wine is one of the best summer afternoon spritzers. A splash of homemade lemonade, some mint, some ice and the biggest pitCHer you can find. Or;

http://cocktails.about.com/od/cocktailrecipes/a/chmpgn_cktl.htm

kevincrumbs said...

@moeman: Well, I did see some hemp beer at the store today.

Moey said...

@moe,

I'm drinking Prosecco, quite nice and not too expensive. Love your variation on the spritzer, that along with the Mojito with champagne, is it summer yet?

moeman said...

29 must've left to (re)organize his oven mitts. Wonder if he has Habs-logo'd ones?

HabsFan29 said...

my oven mitts are more exciting than this game right now

moeman said...

Sounds good Moey.

Also similar and tasty.

Number31 said...

Cole, Millen, and Carbo...I'm totally falling asleep.

Bruins look discombobulated.

moeman said...

M o o r e!

kevincrumbs said...

SK!

Number31 said...

Now they really look discombobulated. SERGEI!

HabsFan29 said...

Tits!

moeman said...

Sorry meant Small Tits!!!

(BTW, Moore needs a nickname)

kevincrumbs said...

Fantastic first period.

moeman said...

Dominictrix?

GoldenGirl11 said...

Mary Tyler Moore! (I'm a little slow, cartoons with the 3 year old)

Moey said...

Merci moeman, I'll give it a try.

Moore was on that puck like a cheap suit.

Okay, okay stop throwing the tomatoes already.

kevincrumbs said...

I hate Don Cherry like the rest of you but I'm enjoying watching him tear into Matt Cooke.

moeman said...

kc knows, rarely if ever agree with cherry but the Cooke montage of cheapshots is astounding and even more is the non-suspension. If what Lapierre did was worth 4 then Cooke deserved 40.

kevincrumbs said...

@moeman: I praise Grapes and then in midst of his praise for fallen police officers, he has to toss in something about liberal media. Please...

GoldenGirl11 said...

Clara Hughes on CJAD. So well spoken. Donated her medal bonus to a kids charity. What a role model.

Number31 said...

Colin Campbell is full of fail. There is so much history and there were enough rules broken that could have put Cooke out for at least 10 games. "He didn't get a penalty on the play"? Well, neither did Lapierre. But people gotta stop with the "someone should take out Crosby or Malkin" talk. That won't solve anything.

moeman said...

No disrespect for soldiers of people that protect us but when cherry starts his violin I switch.

Clara is the consummate Canadian. I love her.

moeman said...

ack

HabsFan29 said...

crap

kevincrumbs said...

Just when I was going to type about the importance of going up 3-0...

Number31 said...

Good job there, Markov...

moeman said...

kc's comment gets us half way to ice cream.

kevincrumbs said...

Bob Cole: "The Bruins are attacking again".

Camera: Bruins stuck in their own zone, struggling to get the puck out.

Number31 said...

Oh, Gorges is going to be at Best Buy Pointe-Claire tomorrow. I think I'll go... Or try to, anyway. (A mysterious Hab will be in Laval somewhere).

kevincrumbs said...

Alfred Hitchcock, pissed off on the Bruins bench.

kevincrumbs said...

Crappy PP.

kevincrumbs said...

The Dominatrix with a great effort.

HabsFan29 said...

we need more Moore, he's our best player right now

Number31 said...

That's Dominic Fucking Moore, Bob. Really, dunno why people were bitching about that pickup. If anything he'll stop scoring on us and score for us/try to score for us. (And hey, Goat got a 2nd rounder out of Dagger so it evens out a bit, sort of).

Number31 said...

Pyatt knocked over Chara and the big baby got angry HAHAHA

kevincrumbs said...

@Number31: I fully admit that I was one of those hated the deal and ragged on Moore for his first few games. Now I see the error of my ways.

Number31 said...

Markov confuses me these days...

moeman said...

brunet's thought bubble "still two more Olympian gals to steal my thunder"

kevincrumbs said...

Much better PP. Need to shoot more, though.

Moey said...

31,

I don't think he is 100%, but where would we be if he hadn't come back when he did. He's a warrior, I'll forgive him his occasional brain farts.

moeman said...

Man, how many oven mitts does 29 have?

Number31 said...

I'm referring to him trying to dive in the corner, actually, Moey. I'd rather if he would just get the puck down to the other end while on the PP...

Number31 said...

Back on RDS, I can't stand Bob Cole anymore...

kevincrumbs said...

AK looks decent tonight. Too bad none of his shots can get through.

wv: exper. HF29 is a overmitt exper(t).

moeman said...

leaf, in the battle of the fucking losers is thanking quimm and then some.

kevincrumbs said...

Have to say it every time we play him, but fuck the Leafs for giving Rask to Boston.

moeman said...

Priceyan save by Rask.

kevincrumbs said...

Someone, please kill Lucic.

kevincrumbs said...

Please, that was nowhere near as bad as Cooke/Savard. That's a penalty, of course, but let's can the hyperbole.

moeman said...

Habs like the 4on4.

Number31 said...

Lucic, really, like Andrei was going to fight you? What an idiot. I'm sure your coach loves that you just negated the powerplay.

HabsFan29 said...

hit was not "brutal". late, maybe. not brutal

HabsFan29 said...

oh c'mon

kevincrumbs said...

I get the feeling this Bruins team doesn't like each other much. No one jumped in to defend Savard and Lucic had to go after AK himself.

Number31 said...

Clutch and grab D is so pre-lockout, boys!

What? They think the hit Andrei just did was Cooke-ish? Oh please. Like a featherduster...

Moey said...

The hot stove coming up with an all star cast. Think I'll go and hand wash my knickers.

Number31 said...

Joel: "If Moore had a 'Quebecois' name, people would appreciate him around here" Sad truth about most our players, really, eh?

moeman said...

The hot stove coming up with an all star cast. Think I'll go and knock wood.

moeman said...

31, you gotta be kidding.

kevincrumbs said...

Oh God, I just agreed with Milbury. He ripped on Wheeler for going after AK with "his purse" after the hit on Lucic.

Number31 said...

So do we all need to feel sorry for the Bruins now? For the first time in my life I'm agreeing with Milbury (ew I feel dirty). Head on, shoulder to shoulder, not blindside, and it was interference and it was called. Cry me a fucking river.

moeman said...

Lebrun has a HUGE head.

Go you fucking Habs!

moeman said...

Go Canucks!

Number31 said...

Wheels is gonna need a better purse if he really wants to be a Bruin. That's grandma's purse.

HabsFan29 said...

nice bounce! tits! bouncy tits!

kevincrumbs said...

If Rask wasn't a Bruin, I might feel bad for him. I'll take the goal.

moeman said...

Breasts are fun!!!

Number31 said...

I see it pays to have Tim Thomas as a mentor eh Rask?

kevincrumbs said...

Look at how Pyatt doesn't start crying when Lucic attempts to go for his head.

moeman said...

For Joel, Kostétons!

kevincrumbs said...

Nice save, Jaro.

HabsFan29 said...

mad max was in the lineup tonight? first time i heard his name

moeman said...

kc, for Joel its Jareau.

kevincrumbs said...

Just noticed two people down by the Boston goal wearing those "Die Chara Die" shirts.

moeman said...

29, thats because bob cole was calling him Bilodeau.

kevincrumbs said...

Why not just call him Dominique Moore, then?

moeman said...

Funny seeing Vodkov sakte to the PBox and ask the ref "why?", "tell me why?"

Number31 said...

Vodkov is chippy tonight.

kevincrumbs said...

What was the crowd chanting about the Bruins? I heard "Fuck the Bruins" but there's no way that's right.

moeman said...

Another Olympian hockey gal about to shut brunet up, again!

kevincrumbs said...

If Carbo jinxes us with his Bruins look too tired to comeback analysis, I'll burn my Carbo autographed hockey card.

moeman said...

"Les filles aiment bien le Canadien de Montréal" Oh Baby!

Number31 said...

Actually, kevincrumbs, I've been saying that since they started the game. Maybe the Bruins went out last night.

moeman said...

Pierre Houde is flummoxed by having a sweet hockey gal in the booth. He's never, ever been flummoxed by the ox that usually butts into the conversation.

Number31 said...

...I think they're saying "TUUUUUKKAAAAA"?

kevincrumbs said...

@Number31: Early St. Patrick's Day celebrations?

moeman said...

ack

HabsFan29 said...

aw fuck

kevincrumbs said...

Well, now they're saying FUUUUUUUUCCKKKK. As am I.

Number31 said...

Gill, move your 6'9" ass out of Jaro's 5'10" way.

kevincrumbs said...

Come on, Habs, get a fourth.

HabsFan29 said...

mmm, holding on for dear life mode

kevincrumbs said...

Jaro, fantastic stuff.

Number31 said...

Habs need some oven mitts.

kevincrumbs said...

Good job, SK, to avoid the icing.

HabsFan29 said...

whew

moeman said...

4 point game fuckers.

kevincrumbs said...

Well done.

Number31 said...

Bruins still suck. Yay.

moeman said...

You know what doesn't suck?

Ice cream.

So good, yet so far away.

Moey said...

Time to change the channel. WTF? Lead in to the Leafs/Oilers game " a tough battle between the 29th and 30th place teams." Spare me, how fucking exciting.

moeman said...

Good night bitCHes. Gonna go watch the Sens lose and get our Habs to within 3 points of their sorry asses.

Number31 said...

That reminds me, next grocery run I'm buying some ice cream.

Oh hey, Martin... Sergei: 2 games 3 goals, 1 assist, 1st star in both. Can he get some powerplay time now or will you continue to be a jerk about it?

kevincrumbs said...

Apparently the ACC plays some stupid and ridiculous song after each Leafs victory. Fortunately for their fans, it means that've only had to hear that song about five times this season.

Number31 said...

Dion Phaneuf is one fugly individual.

b said...

I think the Fantomes like Little Tits.

RiRi said...

Habs win!!! Bruins (still) suck!

5 game win streak!!!
6 games over .500!!!

Isn`t life dandy when your team wins? Caps fans must perky 24/7. Know what else is perky? Lil` Tits, that`s who!!!

I`ll stop now. :)

Number31 said...

Who's 3 points behind the Ottawa Senators? The Habs.

Anonymous said...

Coming in late but it was "Fuck you Bruins" being chanted at the game. And awesome pic - I have my album cover framed and want to hang it on my bathroom door, but I'm supposed to be am adult now.

kevincrumbs said...

@Anon: Nice. Thanks for the update. I've been to a Bruins/Habs game and certainly don't remember any chants like that breaking out.