Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Morning Skate for Tuesday, March 23rd

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of Mila Kunis in GQ...
  • Well it's official. We're the suckiest team that ever did suck. Can't skate, can't pass, can't score. A power play that is too painful for words. Habs lose 2-0. Travis Moen's face got slashed by a skate but all reports have him as being ok (if 25 stitches can be considered ok). That's the only good news from last night. The Suck-o-meter goes from 0 to 9 in two games. Forget 5th, or 6th, or the division, and start worrying again about even making the playoffs;
  • Red Wings are getting better, beat Pensburgh. Look out West!
  • Avs tie it with 6 seconds left, but Kings win in OT.
Would you say it's time for our viewers to panic? Yes I would Kent.

30 comments:

Moey said...

Last week it was all roses, they were peaking at the right time, hottest team in the East, momentum going into the playoffs and now.....splat. It was all too good to be true. *sigh*

moeman said...

Stay positive kids.

It could be worse, you could have ann coulter visiting your place of work.

Go you fucking Habs!

Oleg Petrov said...

After coming here, I find a random facebook message from 29 in my inbox, and we don't even know each other. How did he find me? Does this guy run the internet or something? I feel like if this were the Flintstones, I'd open up my computer and 29 would be the wisecracking bird complaining about hammering photographs out of stone tablets. I better not find a twenty-dollar bill with 29's face instead of the Queen's when I slice open my grapefruit this morning.

Chester said...

We are all going to die.

Boob Gainey said...

Better like this.

No expectations.

Number31 said...

What, we had expectations? Whatever happens, happens.

Habsfan10 said...

Fucking Upper Canada bastards. Habs should separate from the Northeast.

L Dude said...

BAH! I should have been drunk last night. I actually remember THIS suckfest! Squid can't return soon enough.

bea.habs.fan said...

in the old days I didn't care abotu Ottawa. Now given that they seem to own the canadians and their coach is happy whenever he meets the Habs, I HATE THEM.
not as much as the Leafs or the bruins, but gettin gthere.

everytime I saw #11 I puked in my mouth. I really should stop watching hockey - it's giving me high blood pressure

b said...

Who stopped worrying about making the playoffs? Last night we saw the system at work. Pinch and give up odd man rushes and breakaways. Tons of puck support and tons of shots from angles that just aren't going to produce a goal, no matter how many times you jam the puck into Elliott's pads. Nobody on the other side of the ice to pass to. Did you see how Alfredson used creative brain power to score an assist- it was all him. When was the last time you saw one of Jacques' Canadiens be creative on offense? On a besoin d'un passe transversale de temps en temps, non. Luckily nobody below the Bruins is doing anything. Luckily.

matt - watching the collapse said...

The Habs can make any goalie look good.

matt - watching the collapse said...

Spacek, Hamrlik, Gill and O'Byrne combined for ZERO hits according to Boone. Wow, sometimes I feel like I am watching a beer league team.

moeman said...

Things could be worse, stay positive FHFers!

RiRi said...

How could they go from 6 W in a row to that garbage effort last night?

This team is only consistent in that it always waits till the very last game of the season to clinch a playoff spot... Sigh.

Sleepy said...

How do 5 players have a -1 rating from that game? Shouldn't the +/- add up to -10? box score

dwgs said...

Go back to sleep Sleepy, the second Sens goal was on the PP.

RiRi said...

@sleepy - goals scored on the PP don't affect the the +/- rating... And Ottawa scored one of their goals on the PP.

lawyergirl77 said...

Sigh.

Email exchange between me and friend to whom I sold my tix:

Him: ça va mal en crisse, you are selling me cursed tickets.

Me: Your fault. Ils gagnent quand moi je suis là.

Him: I'm gonna poop on your seat.

Me: Vas-y. Will blend in with the poop on the ice.

I'm still optimistic. I actually figured that we were going to come out flat last night and kind of suck. We go on streaks, leads to a special kind of manic depression for the city.

We will suck for one more game, get dangerously close to getting knocked out of the playoffs, everyone will gnash their teeth and then we'll go on another winning streak the game after Squid and Uro come back (they'll need one game to get their mojo going again).

Of course, I'm usually way wrong about this shit, but the streakiness of this team is the one thing I can count on.

matt - watching the collapse said...

Last week everyone on HIO was praising and thanking Bob for the misunderstood genius that he was as GM. After winning 6 in a row we got to see Bob's master plan come to fruition. Well, well it becomes more clear to me every day how similar many Habs fans are to Leaf fans. Ppl laugh at how delusional Leaf fans are, well I will bet if any Leaf fan read the Habs forums last week they would have themselves a good chuckle at how delusional Habs fans are. Bottom line, this team isn't as good as the one that won 6 games in a row, and it isn't as bad as the one that played last night. It is what is has been for many years...Mediocre. I am sick of this mediocrity, and unlike most Habs fans, I can't just comfort myself and remain positive by thinking, "Oh well, at least were not the Leafs."

Robbie said...

Dear Lawyers,

Yes i am alive. I recently checked myself out of rehab. I had no legitimate reason to go but i figured since it seems the trendy thing to do i should do it. You know with all the trouble i was having with the missus back in January i figured i just needed space, needed some time to reflect, some time to ponder the future, some time to figure out how to stop hating that overpaid gang of underachievers.

In essence i was going through a mid season crisis. YEAH a mid season crisis! Can you believe that? So anyhow, in rehab they make you name your demon or the source of your ''malaise'' i told them its name was Missus H. They refused to accept that and kept pushing me to confront the true name. I just couldn't decide. I mean there were 23 demons haunting me and some fucking (ooppsss not supposed to swear its part of the rehab) guy i called Count Jacquala and the ''Double Pierre's''.

So now that I'm out of rehab and wearing my Buddhist bracelets i can see that nothing but fucking nothing (oopppssss sorry) has changed. It seems while i was popping drugs and pouring out my heart to that fucking (oppssss) hot therapist that the missus decided to change her ways and started to convince everyone that she was reformed, that she had found the answer to the system.

Well not to my surprise it turns out it was all a lie, a ploy, a game. It was nothing different then the last 17 years. Now I'm totally fucked (or fucked up) AGAIN! Yes i said fucked and i meant it!. For fuck sakes i hate the missus, i wish she would just curl up and die and put me out of this misery, this false sense of hope, this confusion. This UTTER FUCKING FRUSTRATION. SHIT I'm running out of Ativan. Fuck i hate this, fuck its terrible, fuck,fuck fuck.....

Ok going back to therapy. Anyone have Tiger Woods phone number...ah forget it I'll just text him.

kevincrumbs said...

@Oleg: Odd, I woke up this morning to find a random friend request from a girl in Montreal whom I've never met and surmised that maybe she's from this site? Anyone here somehow dig me up on Facebook and also miraculously think that my random comments here are so witty that you want to be my friend? However, since this is FHF, I'll assume the person was on meth or ate too much ice cream. FWIW, it definitely wasn't HF29 as it was a she and there were no oven mitts in the picture.

Yes, we sucked last night but I'll hold off on panicking until Thursday if this shit continues.

Jaybird said...

Last night's effort was beyond pathetic. Luckily I was drinking. I knew we woould lose to Ottawa as we always do but expevcted more than that paltry pussified effort. Disgusted.

Jacques Martin looked lost every time they showed him with Muller talking to all our guys completely involved. Ottawa stepped up their game and we didn't. Not a good thing in our most important game of the year ... leave it to the Habs to make fans feel right back where we were before the Olympics.

Boob Gainey said...

Sorry but Ottawa weren't all that.

Neither team played very well, but we (pace Jack Todd) were not outplayed.

We just didn't score when we should have and they did some of the time.

Fix the PP and everything will be alright.

Le Douze said...

Unlike most of you (but maybe not Boob) I didn't think they were that bad last night, just not that good. (In contrast to last week, that looked worse than usual). They had a lot of good scoring chances, but couldn't finish. If a couple of those had gone in, it would be a different story today.

Having said that, play like that won't get the boys very far in the post-season. Speed and skill won't get you far without intensity, and that was missing big time.

At least Squid and the pee-pee boy are back for Buffalo, according to HIO, so maybe there's some hope the power play will be working again by the weekend. (I agree with LG77, don't get your hopes up for the PP too quickly, it will take a game or two.)

Jaybird said...

Agree to disagree I suppose. I saw one team realizing the importance of the game and the other clueless. Ottawa was hitting and more aggressive on the forecheck for loose pucks while we watched in their end.

Getting Cammi back is like picking up a superstar he's the best player on the team except for maybe Markov. He will help immediately and the kid has heart and will be hungry for goals.

Anyone think saddlebags will get the start next game? Its been a while since Oprah took the pipes for us.

L Dude said...

If I may take you back 2 weeks when I posted this:
Well, the Habs' mission is clear. Just like the road trip, continue to play .750 hockey. With 15 games remaining, that's 22.5 points (let's call it 22). 92 points is more than enough I think.
10 of the remaining 15 games are against teams below the Habs in the standings. Win them. There's 20 points. Take 2 of the 5 remaining to OT. So a mere 10-3-2 record will assure us of a playoff spot.

And 29 actually posted it on his blog on March 9th! Mom and Pop LD, if you're watching from above, then STOP! I don't want you seeing the crap I read and write! No offence to you guys regarding 'the crap'.
But I digress....

Anyway, 6 games have passed since then, with a record of 4-1-1, for a total of 9 out of 12 points, or 0.750 hockey. Still on pace. No problem.
The only blemish from the formula is the OT loss to the MakemeLaffs. A win against Buffalo or NJ will negate that.

Fear not the collapse.
The Flyers and Bruins have tougher schedules. Atlanta finishes the season against Caps, Pens, Devils, Caps, Pens. I think we're safe from them.

Should be a battle with Ottawa for 5th and 6th. So who do you want? NJ or Buffalo? I don't think it matters. Miller probably has a better chance at stealing games, but it's the playoffs - don't count out Marty.

In conclusion, stop with the fear. It's all part of the grand plan. And I ain't joken (my WV).

Anonymous said...

It's my fault, while I was in Italy the team was playing well, I get back and they suck. Well I guess I'll just have to throw myself on the granade and take one for the team, just send me the money to quit my job and rent a condo in Rome and I'll stay away for the next two months......promise!

moeman said...

Stay positive kidz.

Whilst here, check out this cool album cover with an even cooler name.

Moey said...

It's not as if we expect them to win every game, actually yes we do.

One is hard to swallow but two in a row is especially nerve wracking, cos we know they're more than capable of going into a total death spiral.

I'll hate on them until tomorrow....

Howard said...

@moeman Nice one!