Wednesday, March 03, 2010

OUF! Nobody Traded My Metro! Trade Day Edition of Game Review: Habs 4 -Bruins 1

Breathe out, the Metro isn't leaving this station. The foundation of this team will remain part and parcel of your Canadiens for years to come. The legend Glen MetroPOlit, not MetROpolit, will soon accept the C on his jersey, and we should all mentally prepare for the number raising ceremony in the context of a joint Houle/Metropolit commemoration.

We know that GM Pierre/Bob Gauthier/Gainey had intended on shipping Metro to the Coyotes for a new 2010 Edition of the American Bankruptcy Law Collection, leather bound.

But after single handedly vaulting the Habs to a secure seventh place in the eastern conference, with all other teams behind holding an average of 18 games in hand, hey Gauthier/Gainey just couldn't step on the face of the public's adulation for the cornerstone of our storied franchise.

The Olympic break came to a crushing halt last night, at least as far as Montrealers are concerned, when the Habs and Bruins embarked on the dullest first 40 minutes of hockey I can ever remember. Think of a mute guy with no arms and no legs coming on right after Robin Williams at the comedy club.

One of the better rivalries in sport could not salvage the inevitable nostalgia hockey fans will be feeling as the drabbest of curtains lift on this paused season. With everything that the last 2 weeks meant to us, it's really hard to come back to the pettiness of the Carey Price-Jaro Halak situation, or better yet, welcome the idea of another Jacques Martin press conference.

Which leads us to trade day. Today. A day that felt like a 6-hour Jacques Martin press conference.

Shoes have been traded for laces.


The Toronto Maple Leafs have acquired Truman Capote.

Bob Mckenzie: Sorry, someone over at control room pushed the alert button by mistake. No trade to report.

Bill Guerin has traded 64 shares in Encana Corp.

Deadline has passed and Glen MetroPOlit is still a Montreal Canadien, the Olympic parade can therefore finally begin.

Somebody get me a bed and turn off the lights. Forget the lights, with games and trade deadlines like these, I could sleep through anything.


orangeman said...

After the coke-fueled Vegas romp that is the Olympics, the NHL kind of feels like smoking a joint at home and ordering a pizza. I mean, it's fine and all, but mostly I just feel bloated and sleepy. At least the Habs won before their inevitable disaster of a road trip to Californ-I-A. Oie.

HabsFan29 said...

i'll take 40 minutes of napping and a win any day. and if games like that get me lines like "a mute guy with no arms and no legs coming on right after Robin Williams at the comedy club" i'll really take it.

moeman said...

Well said HF4 and GG, please submit the Metro/Subway + upskirt painting idea to City Council. That is some gorgeous artwork. I can picture the local men's clubs lining up to pay big bucks to slap some Super Sexy Wanda's and CHez Parée pretties on the side of the trains. Just gotta be careful where you place the ads. Those open/close doors are a CHallenge and FWIW, I'd like to know what can be seen by looking out the window.

Moey said...

I must confess that after the first Bruins goal last night I lost interest. Found some food blogs with some interesting recipes though.

The Bruins have resumed their rightful place as our bitches, as it should be. Last season was just an abberation.

Jaybird said...

Can we hate Domenic Moore instead of Metro? Or Lapierre? (Don't say no because of the big goal last night .... he's an olive-skinned D-Bag).

What will satisfy our rabid FHF fans on this three game death-trip? I think we need 2 wins or 4 points int the post apocalockoutyptic tie way fashion.

This week seems like a procession to a sunny SoCal star-studded funeral in a lo-ridin' Carey Price DUI driven' '67 Impala with nothin' but a G Thang playin.

GoldenGirl11 said...

Think of a mute guy with no arms and no legs coming on right after Robin Williams at the comedy club.
I saw the Don't Worry Be Happy guy open for Robin Williams in 1988. After 15 minutes of "hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo don't worry be happy" I think I would've preferred the mute guy.

You forgot the blockbuster lunch trade of pastrami on rye for tuna salad on chalah. Those TSN guys are just whacky.

kevincrumbs said...

The Olympics: Fuck 'em. Before someone says I'm a bitter American fan, they could've blown out the Canadians 18-0 and I'd feel the same way. Give me my Canadiens, any day.

I think we'll beat San Jose because we tend to do well against run-and-gun teams, lose in overtime against the Kings and get destroyed by Getzlaf and Perry. Who else do we play on this trip?

@Jaybird: Moore certainly hasn't done anything to endear himself to the Habs faithful. Why the fuck is he here again? Did he just show up one day and no one had to heart to tell him he wasn't a Canadien? Maybe Gauthier threw Florida a 2nd rounder after Moore didn't show any desire to go home.

moeman said...

@Moey, dish out some of those recipes. Wear oven mitts if they're hot out of the oven.

Anonymous said...

[i]After the coke-fueled Vegas romp that is the Olympics, the NHL kind of feels like smoking a joint at home and ordering a pizza.[/i]

truer words have never been spoken.

Moey said...

@moeman, these sound easy and delish. I'll be using my trusty Tweetie Bird oven mitts.

Saucy mushroom pork chops

4) 3/4 to 1 inch thick pork chops
1 onion, sliced
1 can cream of mushroom soup
3/4 cup apple juice or cider
1/4 cup white white (optional)
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp snipped fresh thyme or 1/2 tsp dried thyme
1 clove garlic, minced
2 cups fresh sliced mushrooms

In large skillet, with a bit of oil, brown chops over medium high
heat. In separate bowl, combine soup, juice, wine, Worcestershire,
thyme, garlic. Mix well. Fold in mushrooms. In oven proof pot,
place onions on bottom, then layer chops and pour soup mixture
over. Cover and bake 300 degrees for about three hours or until
sauce has cooked down, is thick and chops are tender.

Tortilla Chicken Drumsticks

8 oz lightly salted corn tortilla chips
4 tsp chili powder, divided
1 tsp ground cumin
1 or 2 large eggs
3 lbs chicken drumsticks (about 15)

Preheat oven to 450. Oil a large 4 sided sheet pan. Pulse chips,
2 tsp chili powder, cumin and 1/4 tsp salt in food processor until
coarsely ground, then transfer to a shallow dish.

Whisk egg and remaining 2 tsp chili powder in a bowl.

Season chicken with 1/2 tsp salt. Dip drumsticks in egg, letting
excess drip off, then coat with crumbs. Transfer to sheet pan
and bake without turning, until cooked through, about 45 min.
Let stand 20 min. or so after removing from oven.

Dipping sauce for wings

Cilantro-Lime Mayo

1/2 cup mayo
1/4 cup sour cream
2 Tbsp finely chopped cilantro
2 tsp grated lime zest
1 Tbsp fresh lime juice

Jaybird said...

@ crumbs -

Could have probably got Ponikarovsky for that second rounder and D'Agostini. Just Sayin. Fuck I hate Moore so far.

And also youre dead on about road trip. LA should be the hinge make-or break game in this shitshow we shall embark upon.

moeman said...

Thanks Puddytat. Dem recipes are now copied, pasted, printed and fridged.

WV, a weirdly à propos 'furbasil'

moeman said...

Biggest winner of trade day, Martin Skoula.

Moey said...


Love the Tweetster. I was gutted when I broke my Tweetie teabag holder.

moeman said...

@Moey, I love the way Sylvester spits when he talks.

Moey said...


Me too, reminds me of Bryan Murray.

moeman said...

Sylvester's druken buddy reminds me of ron wilson. Same hair too.

Moey said...


Check out this foodie blog:

It's a good 'un.

moeman said...

Merci Moey,

Here is one for you and the other FHFoodies;

moeman said...

Of course I kid.

Here's a good jammin' time;

Howard said...

Eric Belanger would have been better than the hit-and-run yappy lappy and the former could have rejoined his buddy formerly known as Lats in Minnesota all without upsetting the delicate linguistic balance in the dressing room. Then again there's that beautiful house...ohhh well could have sold it to TFS. Does anyone know how to add a pic to your profile?

Moey said...

Merci moeman. Suddenly, I'm starving.

moeman said...


moeman said...

Meant @Howard

RiRi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RiRi said...

That FancyFastFood website will keep me occupied for hours! Thx Moe!

I love this blog!

P.S.Great work on the pic, GG!

Moey said...


That link is courtesy of moeman! It's fun, non?

RiRi said...

@Moey - Thx, fixed it! Some people are so creative!

RiRi said...

I`ve got another food website and while it`s quite over-the-top at times, still funny:

Howard said...

@moeman Thanks!

kevincrumbs said...

@Jaybird: I'm sure Burke would've asked for something more from us for Ponikarovsky.

I'd give Max the rest of this season and part of next season before giving up on him.

@Moey & Moeman: I thought Bryan Murray was Sylvester the Cat.

moeman said...

Nice pic Howard.

WV, freebirdfeed.

Number31 said...

Team still together. Goat did good. I won't have to freak out until the summer... For now all the Habs need to trade for is a proper conference call and we'd be good.

Wow. I just saw Mr Lady Byng Datsyuk punch Burrows in the face.

Moey said...


You're killin' me. You mean Pricey's still there. Deep breaths. Relax. And I'm pretty sure he'll still be there come Sept.

Number31 said...

Not just Price, I'm talking Jaro, Plekanec and the Kostitsyns too!

Howard said...

@moeman re the pic, thanks! Being a Habs fan is sometimes like being the coyote. Instead of a roadrunner we're chasing lord stanley's elusive cup with ACME hockey players. your pic too! One of my favorite covers of all time!