As written in TMS this morning, Carolina - feel the excitement! ZZZZZZ. I'm not sure if it's because we're in, like, month six of the season, or the fact that I have eaten about half a cow over the last two nights of passover seders, but I've got a pretty blah feeling today. Actually, maybe it's the two pounds of matzoh that's blocking the exit of said half-cow that has me so blah. Juices! Bodily functions! This is quality blogging, people. So without a theme or any creativity whatsoever, allow me to ramble on a bit about this evening's hockey contest. Don't run away, Anonymous! I promise there will be some moderately entertaining jokes. Well, at least one anyway.
So the game is at 7 PM at the Bell Centre. Hot McSplooge action will come exploding out of your TV. Habs are allegedly a decent 6-2-2 in their last 10, but we suck much worse than that, if you phrase it as "we've lost 4 of our last 5 games." Carolina, 5-4-1 over their last 10, claims to be in the playoff chase only being 7 points out of a spot, but srsly, gimme a break. They're toast. Well, until they beat us tonight. Habs have won both games against the Canes this year, including one of those games back in December when Jaro was routinely stopping 50 shots a game. Good times.
Hey, did you know there is a Brazilian Canes blog? It sure looks like it, though my Portugese is a bit rusty. For a Brazilian Canes blog though, there is a real lack of Brazilian girls (tastefully NSFW). Big missed opportunity there.
I guess maybe we have some hot players. Big Tits has 4 points over his last 3 games, and Pleks has points in 3 straight games. The Mexican continues to make us forget that he makes EIGHT FUCKING MILLION DOLLARS. Whoops, I guess he hasn't really succeeded there yet. Your hot Cane is Jussi Jokinen, who needs one goal to reach 30 for the first time.
Plenty of crappiness (boy I wish I could crappiness) to complain about. Little Tits pointless in 5. The CHicken is a shadow of his former self. As a related aside, did you know people are talking about sending Gui! to the World Championships? As like a top 6 forward? I'm bitter like maror (look it up). Your cold Canes are Brind'Amour, Staal, and Samsonov. For some reason I miss Sergei Samsonov. I don't know why; he was fucking terrible for us.
Ahh, Team Clinic. Métro is out 6-8 weeks, but he swears he'll try anything to get back sooner. Mara still out for the season. I really can't give a crap about who's injured for the Canes. I'm delighted to announce TFS gets the start. I still feel bad about how he got screwed in his last one.
To help you get the thought of my matzoh-blocked bowels out of your head, enjoy this pic the hottest ice girls in the league, the Canes' Storm Squad. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to invest in some bleach stock.