And the cavalry has arrived! We're saved! The suckage will end tonight, thanks to two players! The PP will score 4 goals! The pathetic effort of the last two games will be totally forgotten!Yeah right. We'll see.
In effort to shake things up, how about a new format for a preview? Reverse order bullet points!
- Your post-game adult entertainment is the Ol' Buffalo Porn Site;
- In the biggest injury news since Vodkov came back, (in case you missed it) Squid and The Urologist will be playing. Though we've lost Travis MOEmaN's face for tonight. That moves DarCHe Vader to the 3rd line to replace MOEmaN, and The Urologist will play on the fourth line. And your starting goalie is... The Big Fat Wale!
- Buffalo doesn't really have many cold players, except Craig Rivet is pointless in 6. But they don't pay him to get points;
- While several Habs could be considered cold, let's go with Big Tits as the coldest. Maybe the presence of the Squid will make him perkier;
- Plenty of hot Sabres. Derek Roy and Jason Pominville both scoring well, and Ryan Miller is Ryan Miller;
- For the Habs, hmm. The Mexican maybe? And Gio is always working hard at least;
- Katebits over at The Willful Caboose is always worth reading. She is also one of my many hockey blogging lady crushes;
- Game is 7:30 PM at the HSBC Arena in Buffalo. This is the fifth of six meetings this year. Buffalo is 3-0-1 so far. Ugh. The Sabres, after a bit of a slow-down, have picked it up recently, lots of it on the road (3-1-1 road trip) and riding a 3-game win streak. They are on track for the division and can even see the number 2 seed. No worries, Habs play to the level of their opposition, right? RIGHT?
182 comments:
Free ice cream!
Price is starting. I guess we can't trade him until summer, you might as well play him.
Let's get those GD housers (WV).
Oh fuck BR is on anti-CHambre again.
~~~
Also, when did FHF decide to slice MOEmaN to Moen? That hurt 'ma' feelings/
buffalo porn proved to be a major disappointment...
moe it was just an oversight. or maybe im hungover. also, he hasn't really done anything lately - it seems like forever since i wrote his name a lot. i fixed it for you
Now that was an exciting game. Nice to see Big tits finally score a couple. And those saves by the phat whale...WOW! Hopefully Miller lets in some more softies in the playoffs. What happened to the Chicken though? He seems to be struggling.
i meant CHicken!!!!
Thnx 29, nice catCH lehab.
I can't believe the way that fuckin crowd was going at Price. No wonder he flipped them all off after the shootout! Hope Campbell and Buttman were too busy doing each other up the ass to take notice and issue another suspension. We don't want to have to call up Savard to back Jaro up. At least they took my advice and decided to shoot more on the S/O. Good effort boys!
29, has Kristin seen your new avatar?
Man that drinking game took a toll on me, what with McSplooge mcsplooging all over Tyler Myers all fucking game long. (Was it because Myers is still a teenage boy?)
Also, when was the last time all 3 Habs (not including Jaro) got a game star?
I feel the evil eye coming. Everybody wear red tonight.
I cannot believe Ryan Miller was wearing that much eyeliner. Or that Derek Roy cries after missing in shootouts. But the tv don't lie.
And did anyone see the highlights of the Caps-Pens, when Ovie tried to cheapshot Crosby and Bettman actually leapt out of the stands like Crazy Joe Davola? I didn't think his little legs could move so fast.
So Lapierre was the jinx, thought so. Let him sit for the rest of the season.
I agree with Moey. I thought the MooreTittyPy line was awesome.
Max can smirk from the pressbox all he likes.
I will be saying MooreTittyPy for the rest of the day. Rolls right off the tongue... so to speak.
either the the comments are going backwards or I've really lost track of time!!
(is it me or does that squid look like a giant cock at first glance?)
I also think I've typed this before
@ bea, (is it me or does that squid look like a giant cock at first glance?), I thought it looked like a young Bertrand Raymond, oh wait.
Forgot to mention I watched tonight's game via Fido 4G to my iPad (I know 720p sucks when you only have 9 inCHes). Fido's 'Your First 1 Tb is Free Plan' is fucking great.
@bea,
Giant squid cock looks like it's wearing a condom. GSC is kidding itself if it thinks that could contain McSplooge's splooging tonight. A hot air balloon wouldn't be big enough without bursting at the seams.
Moey's comment redefines 'oh the humanity!'
Only 2 Québecois on the roster tonight. Can't have French in the room, you know. Hmmm. Can Pouliot pull out of his slump? Haven't seen the Pouliot v. Latendresse stats lately. If they miss the playoffs .... there won't be any parade.
b, Pouliot isn't Québecois, he's FrenCH-Canadian and despite (because?) having been born a spit-take from The Border!, the Québec media made sure to mention this incredibly important fact when CHicken was acquired in exchange for Gui Gone Wild!
(Also, didn't some pure wooler write some statistically, self-serving shitty book about how Quebec-born NHLers got and keep getting shafted?)
@moeman,
Casualties - 18,690. Tragic, but thank God it happened during intermission, the Habs were in the dressing room.
Wait. You have other hockey blogging lady crushes? Hm. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.
they mean NOTHING to me katebits, i swear!
Sitting under my giant CH hot air balloon getting ready for the McSplooge deluge which will probably start with the puck drop and last until the final siren (MYERSSSSSS MONSTERRRRRR!!!). The things we have to go thru to get away from BB! Ai ai ai!!
Has anyone heard about these 3D TV's? That might be a little more than I can take! Can you imagine Mcsplooge in 3D? It would be like a tsunami in your living room!
Big Tits! and nice assist whale!
The only way they win tonight is if TFS stands on his head so I`m split about my choice of comments.
W: The Franchise is saved! Carey is back (I saw that "look in his eyes"!)! Start shaking in your boots, Caps/Pens! Jaro who? Man, was JM`s tie was fugly or what?
L: Ugh. SHUT OUT, AGAIN?!?! Man, was JM`s tie was fugly or what?
Also, how did the "Cari the Fat Whale" nickname come about?
In the immortal word of Marc Andre Bergeron: "I can't wait for the first PP"!
I don't know what the Habs are holding down
Sick and tired of the red, white and blue?
Good time Carey ain't gonna poison you
Sprinkle Miller dust all around your bed
Wake up in Buffalo, its just like being dead
bea, You shouldn't say that…
I said 'Whats with Max's play to make us mad this time baby?'
Max said Umm...
I don't know
My oh my oh my
Max said 'I don't know but my play is going down'
The Gio I love has got Devil in his craw
Moves he's making made cuz of the best Mex draw
He can fake 'em and rush 'em, put 'em upside a wall
He can win em' in a shootout, pick ' up the Habs before they fall
Sometimes I think we got our fucking HABits on!
Moey, You shouldn't say that…
I said 'What did I BB say to piss me off this time baby!?'
BB said Umm...
J'u convaicul, ay-yi-yi, j'u convaicul
How can BB have the job he's holding down?
(harmoenica solo)
29's momma told me, 29's momma sat down and cried
She said 29, you're too young to have as many women as you got
29 looked at his mother dear, didn't even crack a smile
Said If Kristin don't kill me I don't mind dying
The woman I love, I want to wait for last
The woman I love, ah fuck I gotta go to class
29 warned you ladies, a long time ago
Better watCH your mitts or he's going to have to let you go
29's momma said you shouldn't say that...
I said well Baby!!!
You know when the Habs bend over I see every bit since the Centennial
And when they bend back I'm looking right into the New Playoff Year
She said Honey, you know Habs gave up Latendresse for Bob's New Year's resolution
But Gu:( didn't give up smoking
I said Woman, you going to talk a while before gametime
Or are you going to take to Mr CHesterfield and satisfy?
She said That all depends on what your Habs are packing
Regular time win or overtime!
Then they pulled out a big win, and to her surprise
I was every bit as hard as my Canadien Club
I said What you got to say now baby!?
She said Umm...
I don't know
My oh my oh moe
I don't know
But my Pants! are falling down.
Blues out here.
Squid!
Big Tits!!!
TITS ARE PERKY!!!
That young'un behind McSplooge better be careful!
And just like that, the Tits have woke up
Ay-yi-yi Gros Seins
woken*
carey with the white pads!
Stuck at work.
Just yelled WOO HOO at the top of my lungs at Big Tits' goal... and now there are 3 people in my office listening to the game. heh.
ooh! footage of Lapierre and Muller having "the talk"
moe the tittyish goal interrupted my bluesing out. + a lot. let's hope our Habs are on a mission from God
Thnx 29, hope you didn't mind me having "the talk" with Mom29.
mom's cool
29 - Oy, you're such a good son.
Moe - no, seriously, where do you come up with these consistently brilliant song parodies? I bow down before your creative genius!!!
Big fat wale is in white camouflage in the net. he's practically invisible
my god gomez nice whiff
fucking cross-eyed mexican
STFU McSplooge, you'll jinx Pricey.
for a fat wale, he's looking sharp
@lg77. I've always said when its easy, its fun (and vice versa), so I take my love of music/good lyrics/wordplay, mix in some inspired FHfun and our Kibbutzian affection for the Habs and mix it the fuck up. Also, no disco.
~~~
eg.
Easy = front clasp on a bra.
Fun = tits.
The fat wale in his baby beluga whites is looking sharp as a swordfish.
Just got home and caught up with the comments
OMG I'M in MOE's SONG !!!!
(hyperventilates)
of course could be from Big tits finally scoring again or thw wale finally back in form
or listening to McSplooge and ducking
(PS my comments keep on not appearing !!!! am i not using enough fucking profanities for this blog, 29?)
As a nucking futs and superstitious goaltender (truism?), I see this period as conclusive proof that red goaltender pads are cursed.
Panger will totally back me up on this one.
Habs played more good hockey in 20 minutes than in the last 125 they crapped out vs. leaf and Sens.
Keep going you fucking Habs!
LG77,
I agree and if you think about it red pads give shooters a target and an outline of Price's position, not so with the white.
Guys, I have to ask - am I the only one who doesn't get the ads the NHL is running to get people excited about the playoffs? I *really* don't get them. At all.
Neanderthal 15 year old just explained that the white pads make it hard to see the 5 hole.
GG11 - they also make people look taller (which is why Jaro uses them).
But I believe that white pads have inherent magical powers. All of your rational arguments haven't persuaded me otherwise...
@GG11: As opposed to the red ones that make you avoid the five hole?
@LG
In that case I'm going out to buy white goalie pads tomorrow. Can I wear a black pump or do I have to wait until May to wear a white sandal?
@JT
I know it's hard to understand. I had to string my kid's 5 words together quickly as a repeat question goes directly to "whaaaattttt?". It's like charades... "first word... sounds like night...it's night... no... not night... uh, uh, fight, sight, white...WHITE!! good, second word..."
Basically it makes the holes harder to see and the puck easier for him to see.
and another shitty PP.
@ GG would you wear a mini skirt to best show off your pads?
Unseasonably warm for the month of March, Q: too early for the meshed tank top?
FINALLY
I LOVE BIG TITS!!!
T I T S!
another wasted PP
and surprised we get another one.
any chance we get something going?
and they score
@MOE personally mesh tops are tacky except if it's hot pink over a black tube top
AK46 is going to turn me bi-polar...
oh refs, stop teasing us with all these PP
It's a regular Urology clinic tonight!
oooh
another PP
like the footie play by moore (does he have a nickname?)
Hope my comment at 12:37 was wrong. I'd like to see more than a couple!
Is it just me or is TSN's camera work way better than RDS?
jaro 2.0 should do nothing else at practice than practice shooting from the point so he'd actually find the net every once in a while
@bea, I don't look so good in hot pink.
I didn't miss the Urologist falling down on the PP, I must say.
WV: "seaman", I kid you not. Squid will make a seaman out of me? McSplooge is covering Myers with his seaman?
a little sibling rivalry?
Big Tits wants a hattie!
Moore is semi-labelled with Dominctrix (I'd drop the 'c').
oohh those white pads are awsome
you can even hear the puck hitting them.
I'm joining LG's magic pad club
lehab can I get the next lottery numbers?
Now that was an exciting game. Nice to see Big tits finally score a couple. And those saves by the phat whale...WOW! Hopefully Miller lets in some more softies in the playoffs. What happened to the Chicken though? He seems to be struggling.
March 24, 2010 12:37 PM
@ moe... and maybe put that : 'C' on Vodkov!
McSTFU!
@lehab, I'd suggest its 50/50 betwixt Vodkov and Gio.
Nice PK'n.
jesus CHrist, CHicken!
@ anon... Thats twice this year I was asked that. Wish I could be right on that. In the fall on the way to a Bomber home game, I texted a friend that Winnipeg would lose 55-10. And that happened to be the final score. ..... But that is pretty much is an average football game here.
lottery #'s... 4-10-29-33-gg11-13
and the bonus # has to be 32!
we've skated and competed for 45 minutes. please let us have another 15
@ lehab, no lucky #69?
That was the Phatest Whaliest save I've seen tonight! Must be thinking of that Phat bong after the game!
if you get 69 you are definately lucky
@Moe
well that's taken my mind off hockey
and all my can they? questions.
pierre just mcsplooged on the Dominictrix
The Dominictrix just got covered in Splooge!
@bea, its easy and fun.
McSplooge's monster of the night - Dominictrix. How fitting.
I loved that Dominictrix move. Puck along the boards, DTrix stops, sees Gaustad, leaves puck be, throws a shoulder into Sabre instead, gets puck, clears zone, sound of whiplash.
Giant-Mexican-Pie
Trix are for kids!
@Moe
what hockey?
brave kill
Pyatt showing he deserves to be there
@bea, focus.
keep the sticks down boys
did McSplooge say cornhole action in Micjigan State
@Moe on what?
McSTFU on gill.
I feel dirty
WV methe (I kid not)
I'm quoting lehab of earlier today...
lehab said...
Now that was an exciting game. Nice to see Big tits finally score a couple. And those saves by the phat whale...WOW! Hopefully Miller lets in some more softies in the playoffs. What happened to the Chicken though? He seems to be struggling.
We have our very own Nostradamus! What were those numbers again?
aw crap
HOLD ON BOYS
FUCK
there goes the SO
no shutout for you, Cari
CHeap ass goal, keep celebrating at the bench you stupid fucking Sabres.
kill me
FUCK
Unbelievable.
triple FUCK
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! NO DAMMIT NO!!!
but we played so well
Kost and Cammi with a minute to go.
Huge mistake by JM.
Hamr, that one was one you.
FUCK! They fall apart in like one minute......kill.me.now.
For a defensive guru, JM fucking sucks donkey dick. Fire the fuck head. Also, Muller needs to take some fucking blame.
Price looks pissed
Collapse was inevitable
miller "at least get the one point", with 4.3 left.
Go fuck yourself gord, you chinless phlegm-filled fuck.
I HATE ALL TEAMS BUT MINE OWN
(and sometimes even them)
Also, why didn't fucking JM call a timeout after the first Sabres goal?
This is more like it, 41 shots against
oh c'mon
JESUS, ANOTHER FUCKING PENALTY? Is this just because Lindy Ruff fucking whined about four penalties in a row?
For fuck sake.
its ok everyone... at 7:39 I said
Squid!
BULLSHIT. THIS GOD-AWFUL NHL REFFING MAKES ME SICK.
and now a penalty
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK etc
Goalpost is what the Sabres deserve.
Also, can I have the game clock back, TSN?
Refs doing Bettman's dirty work.
@lehab
Say something good....
and spacek misses the net.....
Pricey deserved a shutout. I'm so pissed, at least get the two points you fucking Habs.
i hat shoot outs.they're so arbitrary
There's no way the Habs will win this SO after blowing a two goal lead so late in the game. Phat Whale gets fucked over by the assholes in front of him again.
Benoit Brunet thinks the Red Wings could be a tough opponent in the playoffs.
No shit.
What was your first clue, Sherlock?
please no Gomez in the shootout
c'mon, Cari!
here's a question ofr all thinking heads.
are the Sabres good because of Ruff or because Miller's got game
@bea: Miller saved their asses tonight.
Nice stop on Stafford, Carey.
Ugh. Squid.
im not happy
Most undeserved 'win' of all time. Sick.
fucking miller...
wv: waysters - as in habs are good waysters of a lead
FUCK. THIS. MOTHERFUCKING. TEAM.
This is probably the start of the complete collapse of the season. Fuck JM.
I hope they miss the playoffs...
Fuck. Carey deserved way better.
@kc
I meant in general.
they have been just outside of the playoffs for years under ruff and this year, they're spectacular.
does that mean a team should stick with a coach or with it's goalie? or both?
FUCK! that was a horrible point we gave away.
refter= the refters fucked us over
Not gonna let this game get me down. Habs outplayed them for 56 minutes. Dumb penalties and lucky Sabres goals loses them the SO point. Fuck it. Move on. I hope we meet BUF in the playoffs.
Unfuckingbeleivable.
by the way, I know where Alfred is. One of the French speaking neighborhoods in Ontario. Just to the east of those Scottish telephone pole tossers in Winchester.
ummm, what the fuck just happened?
FUCK! At least we don't have much time to think about this!
Maybe they'll win against Florida? Ha who am I kidding...
I remember reading an article after the Toronto game and someone was saying how they couldn't start sliding and getting on a losing streak. Can't remember which player. Anyway, being the pessimist that I am I thought that's exactly what's going to happen.
let`s hope they channel their frustration into taking care of Florida tomorrow...
makes me nauseous but PJ Stock (puke) on l`AC (vomit) brings up a good point: what were Big Tits and Squid doing on the ice with 1 minute left?
after reflection, you have to admit for 56 minutes we owned this game
that's pretty good!
Ugh, checked score with 5 minutes left and thought it was good to go. Absolutely makes me ill seeing the final here. Maybe it's the hangover.
Habs have hopped on the express bus to Nowhere. We should get excited by a playoff placement? For what? Another 6 game exit and nothing done to fix the problems?
Maybe it's the hangover.
I have the feeling it was my fault. I'm sorry guys. I think it's because I said the words "two points!!" and "Shutout!!" in my head. Please don't hurt me.
Fuck that. The boys looked good, shit happens. On to Florida.
Oh, and go Ducks!
I HATE THIS FUCKING TEAM SOMETIMES ARGH! How can they not get inspired to lock down and win the game for a kid making over 40 saves and blanking the fucking top team in the division? They did the same thing to him in the Sharks game (except they didn't play D all game in that one anyway and it bit them in the ass in the end). The ref decides to not call the hold on Pleky's stick (who would have had the puck and that high stick would have never happened) and shit hits the fucking fan. I don't even think they knew the other net was empty. Then they can't clear the zone again. They were doing it the whole game! WTF IS WRONG WITH THEM?! They block a shot that Price would have caught and it tips off to an open man for a wide open net. They putz around and BOOM, game is gone. This wasn't the fucking Oilers. The Buffalo Sabres are the LAST team you want to go to a shootout with (the Caps and Wings are the major shootout killers, but these guys usually win them).
What has this kid done to be royally FUCKED by these guys? He glared at the bench at the start of OT. And Markov gave him a pat on the back when he ran off steaming to the room. I suspect a couple of sticks or walls were broken.
Lindy Ruff is a superior coach to Count Chocula. Buffalo better count their lucky fucking stars and make a statue in Ryan Miller's honour.
PJ just said the F word on the AntiCHambre, and general commotion ensures. Incredible that uttering the word Francophone should incur such ire, but predictable.
wv: gatifyin, but none of that happened tonight for the Habs.
Now I can understand why TFS eats so much. He can't be getting any gratification from hockey! I know I'm not! That's why I'm stuffing my phat face with chocolate gelatto! Fuck yeah, life is good again!
@ezzeloharr - saw that. they`re on drugs if they think the Urologist should be on D and Spacek should sit. Spatch is not spectacular on D but c'mon...
PJ points out that MAB was unsigned when the season started, "Bergie" retorts by saying that it`s because GMs are blind... GIVE ME A BREAK.
@RiRi: I'm continually amazed at how blatantly québecois biased the RDS commentators are. Like, I expect it now, but it still boggles my mind.
MAB is -11. Laps is -14, gets 2.5 hits a game, and does nothing else. But they're québecois, so somehow that's worth more?
J'y comprends absolument rien.
@ezzelohar - It really is fascinating to watch.
Bergeron almost shed a tear for Lapierre after the others predicted he was done in Mtl.
Well, I'll be out shopping for a new universal remote tomorrow. Maybe I'll send the bill to the Habs. Thank fuck I have terrible aim and it glanced off the corner of the TV. Left a good mark though. I had a drink and now I'm calm again. That was just one of the scheduled OT losses which I predicted. It's all good. They'll win tomorrow as scheduled. Beat NJ to get back on schedule and then smooth sailing. No problem. All is good.
Good fucking night.
Fuck.
@RiRi: So true. And Flynn (who accomplished what in life?) said that Laps would go somewhere else and be just like Gui):
I have a hard time imagining any other team wanting Lapierre, considering his reputation as a whiner and a wuss.
Lapierre's numbers have been bad since early in the season. He had the bad luck of getting ice time, usually on a bad change when the team was really in trouble and being on the ice, but not responsible for the opponents goal. Gill has terrible numbers too. Amazingly Spacek and Hamrlik have good numbers. Lapierre has skills. He is being asked to be a banger and he is doing that. They asked Gui to be a banger and he had to be traded because he wasn't, he was a scorer. Pouliot is going flat and the Giant Mexican Chicken line is using great skill to move the puck around between the boards and the faceoff dot. Great shooting angles. They haven't produced in at least the last two games. I think longer. I didn't see what Pyatt did that was so great tonight. I didn't see him do anything bad either, and maybe that's the point. Attempt little, but don't screw up. Amazingly Gill had two solid hits. One really rocked the boards, the other was an absolutely slow mo hip check. Big hip, I guess it has to move slowly. With this system why would anybody be afraid to go to the net or into the corners? What you gonna do Hal, sweep check me? They do a great job of taking away time and space, though. They only left two minutes and a loose man standing up twice. If ever there was a time to leave people in a pile.
I didn't see the game and I hate/love to bring up the goalie controversy again, but why is it that after Price loses it's because he was hung out to dry by his team and when Halak loses...crickets. They both play behind the same team unless you think all the guys are deliberately sabotoging Carey (which the boys at CJAD seem to allude to, but I find insane). I just don't understand the protection of Price by a large part of the media and fans. I don't hate the guy, wouldn't like to see him traded, but I find it somewhat unsettling how some people run to his defence. He's an adult, he's a professional. Let his mom make excuses for him. Losses are a group effort, not a team sabatoging their defenceless goalie. I just think that kind of attitude put forward by a large part of the English media (along with some fans) is dangerous for everyone involved. Price lost a game, don't feel sorry for him and don't rake him over the coals.
Is alls I'm sayin'.
@ezzeloharr - WHAT?!? I must`ve missed the part about Max turning into Guy. Ridiculous... and don`t get me started on Norman Flynn!
As crazy as it sounds, PJ was the only one making sense tonight.
@b - I thought Pyatt was great on the PK and, except for some awkwardness at the beginning, he really fit in well with Moore and Lil' Tits. Although, I do agree wih you about Pouliot; he didn`t look good tonight.
@RiRi: I can totally see the RDS execs going to PJ tonight and tellin him that he won't be invited back. The 'F' word was uttered, so I think he's gone.
But yeah, he was the only one talking sense.
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