Sunday, April 24, 2011

The 10 CHommandments ~ Habs need to resurrect after a 2-1 (OT) loss, Game Review and Opened Easter Creme Egg thread

I know, blasphemous, sacrilegious, cacao delicious. FHFellow and FHFeline friends of the Habs CHurCH, we are paying today with playoff watCHing penance. Say a couple Hail Careys and throw in a few Our Fathers who art in heaven, wake up the Forum Ghosts for Game 6. Confess FHFers, that was some good hockey until the impure Bruins parted the 2-2 series tie. Stay devoted, still hockey left. Until then, pray, play, sing Olé, Olé, Olé and obey ...
I ~ You shall have no other team but the Montréal Canadiens.

II ~ You shall make yourself a tender idol, in the form of Habs' goalies in heaven, and like Dryden and Roy on earth, you shall bow down to TFS™ in his blue ice and not be jealous of Vézina nominations, you shall not punish him for the inequity of his defense.
III ~ You shall make wrongful use of the name Gomez and always be acquitted.

IV ~ Remember the Stanley Cup and keep it holy, for six games you shall labour and get to game 7, you CHocula, your coaches, your Russian ox, your Mexican donkey, your young livestock, your resident Franco-Ontarion alien, all of you shall work hard and observe what Bob Gainey has CHommanded you and rest only when you raise the silver mug.

V ~ Honour your FHFers and Methers, as the lawyers have CHommanded them to follow you with faith and fear, ice cream and really good scotCH.
VI ~ You shall not kill or murder Horton, Lucic or Marchand but maybe punch them in their ugly face.
VII ~ You shall commit to adult play. Ovenmitts are optional, CHocolate sauce, strawberries and CHampagne aren't.
VIII ~ You shall steal Game 7 and send the Boston sinners to reflect on 40 years of carrying a worthless, fake black and gold cross of don cherry-inspired futility.

IX ~ You shall forever witness fucking false bears at the cbc/hnic.
X ~ Sacrificial Goat, you shall covet thy NHL neighbour's cap space and desire an exchange for your donkey, good luck with that.

SEX ~ Thou shall lick all the CHocolat thy better half has poured, painted, dipped, whipped and stripped on for you, you lucky bunnies.
G Y F Game6 H G !


the Maritimer said...

Everyone has:
1. Gone to church (leaving soon).
2. Searched for easter eggs (moeman found a dandy).
3. Slept in and are hungover.

Steve said...

or just filled with apathy

Number31 said...

Or is just staying home 'cause that's what we do on Sunday: Be lazy. Maybe go walk the dog somewhere special and hope he doesn't puke in the car on the way back.

Jeremy Jacobs is so cheap he can't be arsed to put proper ice freezing things in his fucking rink, probably worried it'll mess with the wood for the basketball court.

Game 6 is a GO!

Mr. natural said...

Gonna get some nice sunny day time in, maybe go into town and find a spot in the sun on crescent or st-denis and forget all my troubles...

I will however continue to pray for today is a celebration of the resurrection of CHrist and so it shall be for the Habs.

I mean really WTF Gomer!??!!

Die PHucktards Die!

Our Father who art in heaven GoYMFBuffaloSabresGo!


See you downtown.

Mr. n

ezzeloharr said...

Ugh. I just realized that I have no Easter chocolate. This sucks.


orangeman is not well said...

Don't know about you guys, but the broon (and leaf) fans are coming out the woodwork here in Ontario. They throw the word 'dominate' around alot. Yes, two OT wins are complete domination. How did we ever get this far. Yes, it was totally unfair how you had to play one whole game without your best Dman, I would know nothing about that as a Habs fan. Why don't you come back when you figure out how to make ice. Or, in the leaf fans' case, make the playoffs.

And I thought it was an automatic one game suspension for giving the fans the finger. Gregory's daddy didn't even review it? I don't want to ever hear about Habs fans booing Price in the pre-season after hearing them boo their own team in OT last night.

I have a fever, and unfortunately it's not Hab related. I'm just angry and no amount of chocolate will appease me. GYFHG, but I think we all realize we'll only be seeing one more game from these guys.

oh well! said...

my little 4 years old girl was hitting a tree with my hockey stick.

I asked her: what are you doing honey?

she says: i wanna play with the maple leaf

Number31 said...


NHL Logic:
- Slamming a guy's head into a stanchion and breaking his neck with nary a puck nearby putting him within millimeters of paralysis: no fine nor suspension and mocking his injury.

- Giving the crowd the finger after a goal: $2500 for a guy who makes that per period.

Logic error.

Joy. DDD injured knee. Keep aiming for our good players, guys. The lazy ones just don't get hurt.

Moey said...

Nice work Moe!

Anonymous said...

Surprised that none of FHF'ers took offense to PatCHes lack of appreciation of such a fine pure laine Quebecois nez. Well, he is an Eyetie from Connecticut after all.

orangeman is glad he is back in a country with universal health care said...

@31: But Wiz got 2 games for making a less lewd gesture to Avery earlier this year.

Not to beat a dead horse (I prefer to beat live ones), but HNIC's dumbest comment last night was when they showed the stats of all 4 lines of each team and because the Bs lines 3&4 have outscored the Habs' 2&3 lines they pronounced that the Bs have much more depth. Nevermind our 1st&4th lines have embarrassed theirs.

Mr. natural said...

Was cloudy the entire time I was downtown, ate at Jano, Portuguese spot next door to Schwartz (line up was crazy at Schwatrz'), food was very good especially for the price.

Anyway get home and NOW the sun comes out..., so going outside to smoke a cigar and will occasionally check the score it's .... 2 - 1 Sabres!!

Die PHucktards Die!

That is all, for now.

Anonymous said...

Let's take a step back to think about this for a second.

Watching the game, here are the names I hear on our team:

Eller (gimme a break)
Moen (gimme a break)
Gomez (gimme an expensive break)
Desharnais (gimme a break)
Pyatt (gimme a effing break)
Halpern (gimme a break)
Darche (gimme a break)
White (gimme a effing break)

Our team, honestly, sucks. It is a miracle we won two games with those AHLers. They have heart and we should recognize that. Otherwise, we simply lack something called talent, this is killing us.

You think my comment is out of place? Have a look at the names above again.
Nevertheless GYFH

Curtis Robinson said...

Heidi klum is hot!

Mr. natural said...

AWwwwwwwwwwww PHuck!

PHucken' PHucktards...I'm not watching hockey anymore.


Flying Pig said...

Hey where is everybody? :-(

Number31 said...

Yea suck it FuckNucks. Game 7 for the Blackhawks!

Sorry Anon, our team doesn't suck. A couple of the old guard needs to un-suck though. On that list of names you put up only Gomez played the way we thought he would for one game then went back to the land of suck. The rest have been ballsy and that's what you need in the playoffs. Double ballsy for guys playing with injury. Running out of gas however is a definite possibility.

ti-cul said...

@31 I honestly don't understand why such a nice girl cheer so hard for a team who has a guy (I mean punk) who beats cab drivers for $0.20. And Vancouver is a lot nicer city than Chicago. And unlike the coTu, it's in Canada. Oh yeah, until last year they even had a futility record on the laff. Is it just the cool jersey with the derogatory logo? Or the Nucks roster is more than 50% Canadian? Or do you just think Joe Toes is cute?

soperman said...

I wish that I had read this yesterday. Hilarious!!!!

I let my dog crap on Brad Marchand's parent's lawn and I did not clean it up. I am a petty, petty man.