Monday, April 04, 2011

The Morning Skate for Monday, April 4th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of a Playstation phone...
  • 3-point games up the wazoo;
  • Buffalo beats the Canes in OT thanks to not-Ryan Miller again;
  • The Rangers get the extra point in the shootout over the Flyers;
  • That leaves Montreal with 91 points, Buffalo with 90, NYR with 89 and Carolina with 87, all with 3 games to play. By our count that leaves the Habs needing two points in 3 games to clinch a playoff spot. And a single point for the Rangers and Buffalo would eliminate the Leaf once and for all;
  • The Bolts win their fifth in a row, get to 99 points and could technically make it all the way to 1st in the East;
  • The Bolts win was over the Hawks, which buoyed the Flames' slim chances to get that 8th spot in the West after their 2-1 win over the Avs;
  • The Little Fuckity-Fuck had 2 goals in the Stars' 4-3 win over the Ducks to prevent both the Stars' elimination and the Ducks from clinching a playoff spot. For "fun's" sake we'll point out the Little Fuckity Fuck has 66 points this year which would lead the Habs in scoring by ten points;
  • The Wings clinch their division with a 4-2 win over the Wild.
3 games left! The final week! Where has the season gone?


moeman said...

Classic Todd: "Time to guillotine the Gimmick: It was sweet to see the Rangers take two points from the Flyers on Sunday, if only to hasten the day when we can stop listening to Foghorn Dreghorn pompously pontificate on the Maple Leafs and their playoff chances."

Steve said...

Leaf prognosticators are full of brilliance, " if the Leafs had won more games they would be in the playoffs"

Who the fuck came up with "net presence", it like standing in front of the net or what?

Goal prevention, used to be called defense.

I have come up with goal creation activity, thats putting a puck in the net on purpose, not just firing it into a crowd and hoping for the best. Nice GCA on that PFK score, without net presence, eliminating the goal prevention.

Buttman is proposing goals not created by net presence but GCA count for 3 goals, "travelling waived off 3 point goal."

Scoring from the boards with a ladyslap shot still only one point.


Steve said...

I am with the call for 4 player hockey, apparently Buttman has already made this league policy for Montreal only.

How can Montreal be the most penalized team in the NHL, there is more rough stuff at your standard Disney of Ice than playing Montreal.

Habsfan10 said...

@ Steve:

The Habs have the most penalties in the league because they are monumentally stupid and their defence is slower than the Leafs playoff death. 4,267 too-many-men penalties add up in a hurry.

Steve said...

@Habs10, there are three legitimate reasons for the to many men penalties.

1)Don Cherry does it
2)over enthusiasm, just wanna be on that ice.
3)dont like sharing the bench with Chocula.

Chester said...

Is it just me, or was that Todds most rambling say nothing using lots of so many words bestest ever article on The View From Nebraska of all time ...
Just one win .. my sphincter is starting to pucker.

Kmaxx said...

Hey guys (and gals)...took the weekend off as it was Mothering Sunday here in the UK (not that my mother lives over here you understand - she's in Oshawa), but the wife wanted someone to make her tea! this might be a bit random

I know he's last week's news but I think Charlie Sheen is a good luck CHarm for the Habs. Last time you posted that "Competence" pic didn't they win a couple in a row? And like the Habs, apparently Charlie's show on the road sucked big time in Detroit but was brilliant the next night in Chicago - so I do feel that there is something to this -And as for the league lead in penalties, Charlie's take on it would's called "Let's not all try playing at the same time...oops another too many men penalty"'s called "If I didn't let him past in the first place I wouldn't have to pull him down and get another penalty"'s called "Winning!"

Just one more win before the weekend. I really want the leaf out of it by Saturday night. Then TFS can have a rest and the rest of HNIC can go fuck themselves


Steve said...

Assuming only Vancouver and Montreal are in the playoffs, who will the CBC choose for National Broadcast, Vancouver, and when they are not playing the Bolts vs Washington.

moeman said...

The hypocritical and hateful hnic prefer the other 14 teams before MTL or VAN. They are cockroaches and shouldn't be allowed to broadcast any Stanley Cup playoff games except those of their leaf. Fuckers.

Steve said...

Ten reasons to celebrate this regular season.

1)Lots of great new nicknames attached to players that have potential. Some may score 20 goals someday, some are not smurfs.
2)no full scale player revolt
3)TFS played 72 games, mostly better than competent, fresh for playoffs.
4)Choucla double prize winner: wins Guinness record for lack of human expression. With Bree Olsen elevation to goddess, shoo in for 2011 best anal award.
5)Goat is the anti Burka, he is a string bikini of loquaciousness.
6) Learned more medicine than most 3rd world doctors.
7)First true Internet season viewing.
8)Leafs shut out of post season HINC.
9)Buttmans in the suck with 11 teams for sale.
10)Season will not live or die in shoot out with Leafs during last game.

moeman said...

Rankings =

tsn 13th from 14th;

thn 17th from 15th;

espn 14th from 17th;

Steve said...

Yeah we are the underdogs, we will fucking bore our way to victory.

moeman said...

leaf has 000000.3000000% chance in hell freezing over to make the playoffs.

Steve said...

One thing about the Laffs,

Their team absolutely sucks, yet they will probably have 3 thirty goal scorers.

I have to give some props to Donut boy for getting 30, if he played with the Mexican't he would likely have 50 or be dead from passes that left him blindsided.

moeman said...

4 Steve

BaruCH said...

@steve Boring our way to the cup hopefully. Last year we bored both the pengs and the craps into putrifaction. Just when they thought they had defeated us, they fell asleep and we won.

High scoring teams don't necessarily win cups, especially if they scoring isn't deep. Look at the Wings, contenders every year but no marquee scorers, nobody over 30 goals. But I really miss having a high scoring team, it is just more fun to watch.

moeman said...

I rarely will give rds much credit as they are a big pipe organ (pronounced pip en Français) for the Nordicks but I have to agree with their reporting that the Habs (clinCHed or clenCHed) have to be wary of the leaf looking to take out and injure our team's players. Afterall, they, the leaf, look up to goons like cherry.

BaruCH said...

wow if the NHL counted points differently we would be fourth in the conference! (scroll down for the good (?) news.)

BaruCH said...

har I just realized yahoo sports poaches FHF content right into their site, expletives and all! (scroll way down)

Steve said...

@moeman Kate Upton, if the drapes matched the carpet, regardless she is sex on a stick, its rare and pays well.

Steve said...

Baruch.thats why the fucking world will be fucked by fuckers. There is no is anymore. Montreal wins the cup by playing anti hockey better than all the other anti hockey teams and we celebrate. I am so glad I was alive when being alive was not measured by victory, but how well you played.

moeman said...

Talking about coaCHes that have had a good/great season (yup, even ours). Find the common bond amongst these men.


Steve said...

They are separatists?

Steve said...

@Moeman - maybe Carbo was a bad choice, but why not try again with St Patrick, could it be any fucking worse.

moeman said...

@Stéphane, I am counting the days to the CH hiring Roy, back (before the Nordicks).

the Maritimer said...

@moeman, I fear St. Patrick will be given the keys to the new Nordicks before he comes back to coach the Habs.

Speaking of which, if Martin were given the boot, who would be the new coaCH? Not Cunneylingusworth or his other brother Randy, no parlez le francais. So, do they hijack somebody out of the Q or recycle some other bilingual former NHL retread?

Number31 said...

Probably Pascal Vincent. I used to hate his system but he seems to have grown and changed a bit. Ideal choice would be Muller and Roy (yes, paired).

Can't wait for tomorrow! Seats in the ceiling are better than no seats! I get my Habs and my Hawks and leave one happy lady. All I want is COMPETENCE! And two points for the Habs. Maybe 1 for the Hawks.

moeman said...

Have fun 31 (I know it rhymes).

iRiRi said...


Number31 said...

LOL Bruins.
Bye bye Leafs.
As Bob Cold would say "ohh baby".
- Signed, Kaberle.

McPhee said...

Ok I'll give you guys that this is temporarily uncomfortable.

It's just because that, as it happened all season, 7th to 9th place basically all won and loss exactly when we won and lost, making the 5 points spread as apparently short as it was effectively solid all season.

But now, as it theoretically was all season, it's all up for grabs, in a way. Should these CH (hey, notice how "competent Habs" abreviate to CH... maybe an old mystery was just solved here), should these CH falter and lose all three games they run the serious risk of not making it. That was the jist of everyone's point : "should we lose every game from now untill the end of the season..."

Except they won't. Except no team deserving of making the playoffs drops two critical playoff-like games to the suckiest teams that ever sucked, ottawa and tranna. If they did they'd deserve to be ousted in favor of the come-from-behind gang that pulled it together on the last week of the season.

But it won't happen. Carolina has three tough games to play, including this Wednesday against Detroit and back-to-back games against division rivals atlanta and tampa. They just won't emerge with six points. Habs magic number being two, with this lost point all they need is one point for the rest of the season to clinch.

But I get y'all's point : this is too close for comfort. I could theoretically melt down if all stars aligned against them.

But, my friends, the stars have aligned against these Habs all season, and always they rose to the occasion. The stars owe them, right now, and I'm glad they kept their points with them for this time of the year. BTW, noticed that penalty shot that hit the post really awkwardly? That was pretty good timing for that bounce, wouldn't you say?

We all remember that year no one got injured and we finished 1st in the East, That didn't end well, not to mention cost us years of bad luck. I think we're done paying now. I think it's time to kick some playoff ass.

Maybe Chocula was keeping PFK in the sleeve as a secret weapon for the playoffs, so that the opposition has not gained any meaningful experience against it. Maybe I'm on meth.

Give this to Buttman : under his rule the nhl became a heckuva product. I will grant you, though, that it would be nice to clinch before the last week of the season. Well, the last six days.

But, good news is, if we win tomorrow we're in, no magic number this, no disappointment that. We're in. We could finally kiss and make up, people.

scorewatcher said...

Broons haven't lost the touch for epic collapse geez