"If they lose Saturday, I'm out.
Not out for the series. Out for good. I seriously cannot stand this fucking team any longer. I hate, HATE THIS FUCKING TEAM. I'm dead sober, by the way.
Honestly, fuck it. This team is not worth my time."
- Habsfan10, in a (no longer private) email after Thursday's fucking tragedy
Well sure you are, 10. You're out like I'm giving up meth. Let's face it, no matter how we feel after Thursday's game, we are all Habaholics. We cannot turn down the CHance to possibly, maybe, perhaps, God forbid, feel the glory of winning a game, winning a series, moving on to the next round, winning the Stanley Cup and having a parade down Ste Catherine Street. The potential for highs related to this team is just too much for us to give up. So no matter how much Thursday night left us in the gutter, face down in a pool of our own puke begging for change and prostituting ourselves to any warm body with a fiver walking by, we will all find ourselves in front of the TV tonight at 7 PM, desperately needing our fix of Habs success. I feel embarassed about my addiction, but that's the way it is. Maybe we all need a 12-step program:
Step 1 - I am powerless over my Habs addiction. I must be home to watch the game and this has made my life umanageable. I believe this to be true.
Step 2 - Oh Lord of the NHL (Bettman) I am powerless! Your calm, intelligent decisions will restore me to sanity.
Step 3 - I turn over my will and life to you Bettman. Thy will be done.
Step 4 - If I may take a moment to take personal inventory, I am a terrible person. I doubt the Habs daily by thinking they suck. My life has been a terrible waste of time passing endless hours and spending endless money following a dumbfuck hockey team that does absolutely nothing but torture me to no end (1973, 1976-79, 1986, and 1993 excluded).
Step 5 - I am wrong, oh Bettman, for thinking that the rules are applied fairly across the league.
Step 6 - Oh Bettman, I am wrong for wanting to watch the Habs even though THEY SUCK BALLS QUITE FREQUENTLY. This is a defect in my character, please correct it.
Step 7 - Oh Bettman, remove my shortcoming desire to want the Habs to win the Cup evey year. NTTAWWT.
Steps 8 and 9 - Ooh boy this is a tough one. I'd like to apologize and make amends to the following: HF10 for using his email quote without permission, CHokula for saying YOU SUCK many, many more times than was necessary, Yahweh for substituting Bettman for Him, FHF readers for this trite preview, any AA members or NA members or _A members for this preview generally, CHicken for hating you (even though you deserve it), Cornelius Hardenbaugh (love thine enemy and so forth), George Costanza for refusing to lend him that expensive sweater becuase his giant head would stretch the neck hole too much, that CHick I promised to call and never did, that other CHick I promised to call and never did, that other other CHick I promised to call and really wanted to but actually lost her phone number (for realz!), and my family and friends who have suffered from the lies I have told ("I have to be home at seven for a, uh, meeting!") and the damage I have done (throwing that Ming vase during the '89 Finals) because of my Habs addiction.
Step 10 - I admit I am wrong and a terrible person for wanting a Shaved Gorilla to die a horrible death in as horrible a manner as possible. And Michael Ryder too while I'm at it.
Step 11 - Oh Bettman, I submit to your will and know you have the power to carry out the return of the NHL to Winnipeg and Quebec City.
Step 12 - I know all of you are Habaholics as well. Together, we can be healed. Amen!
Well that's it. But here we are, best of three, all the momentum lost, no more bullshit, let's just see what the fuck is gonna happen. I don't give a fuck who's playing, who's not playing, who's hot and who's not, or what strip club to go to after the game. It's all fucking irrelevant. You'll be watching, I'll be watching, Mom of 29 will be watching. Because no matter how much Game 4 blew chunks and tore out our collective heart like a bad batch of black tar heroin, we are addicted. We will always be addicted. Until we drop dead of an overdose at the age of 27. Better to burn out than to fade away.
GYFAddictiveHG
154 comments:
Very insightful, we are addicted.
Though I felt sick and expected to puke Thursday even into Friday, I will watch again.
I expect them to tear my heart and yet will watch again.
I know they will give me hope and then take it away in the most painful way possible but I still will watch again.
This is beyond addiction it is a psychological disorder, some form of masochism that I wallow in and from which I draw a strange kind of sick satisfaction.
Please help me!
That is all.
GYFHG!
*Sobbing*
Thank you for speaking the truth and for giving me a place to turn to when I start feeling obsessed and depressed about upcoming games we have yet to lose. I promised myself I would stop caring and move on...but i can't help it....my name is FP, and I'm an addict.
I think we're all over reacting. The series is tied, it's not like we're down 3-0 heading into tonight. Just when we think the sky is falling they manage to pull a win out of their asses. Keep the faith.
I guess it's bad that this made me feel better, but we were in a worse sport last year against the Crapitals and pulled it off. FUCK THE BRUINS!!!!!
Amen, HF29. Amen.
I forgive you 29.
Now where's my wine bottle opener?
GYFHG!
But of course y'all realize that they'll lose tonight just to mess with our heads, make us drink/sniff more of whatever your numbing potion of choice is. Maybe they get kickbacks. Then they'll win the last two. I'm stressed already.
Meh. Forgiveness is for whatever Mike Milbury called Pierre McGuire lately. Fuck the Bruins. Just get your heads out of your asses, play some fucking defence, go for the kill, and GO YOU FUCKING HABS GO!
And if it's really bad y'all can take a break for an hour and watch the new Doctor Who episode.
One of the most important elements of a 12 step program is the support and love of a core group of people. I'm stuck in fuckin' Maine, surrounded by the lepers that call themselves Bruins fans, and they keep popping their fuckin' smirking faces in my office and puke such crap as, "Oh I don't think the Habs recover from this one.", "How much more can that team take, as this had to crush their little spirits!", "USA, USA, USA!", and the worst one of all...."It was a legal hockey play, even Bettman said so!" ARRGGGHHHH! As if that lends any CHrediibitity ...fuck, I can't even type...I'm still all torqued up!
We're all addicted. But we're all alright, we're all alright! And this site rules! This site is my 13th step! Keep up the great work!
I hear all of you loud and clear.
They may very well lose tonight and come back and win the next two games, the point being whatever their performance and the outcome, it will unfold in the most excruciatingly painful way for die hards fans!
PHucken' Whalercanes, PHucken Broonz, PHucken PHucktards.
Go You MotherPHucken' Habs Go!
KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL!
Phuck the Ape, PHuck that middle finger given bullshit apologizing piece of trash Ference (he should get a bigger fine for the way he lied in the media about the whole affair, PHucken' lying sack of excrement) PHuck Marchand with his shit eating grin, PHuck Lucic (I'll fight you if I have back up or know that I can beat you), PHuck Bergeron (retourne a la source Quebecoise Patrick), PHuck Ryder and his two backbreaking goals and PHuck that bloated, overrated non clutch excuse for an elite NHL goaltender L'il Timmy Thomas.
I hope a bug tears through their dressing room and they all get explosive diarrhea.
That is NOT all, there will be more to come, FUCK!!!!
Hey Gomez step the fuck up!
"WINNING"
So, is it here HA? As a former addict of manythings, here is some piece of... well something for you.
Sometime on the way to cleanliness we may be in need something of something different, to remind us how life can be great in so different ways...
Suffering from to same illness, HF29 you made me want to take a step back, and I realized that I totally forgot there was other things happening in the universe. Today I found this, a quote from a few days ago that passed under my attention, and it was like a shot of methadone going through my body. At least one of our hated ones are being beaten up for real!
My name is PA, not from PA, obviously, and I am an addict.
GYFHG!
Sorry, rookie mistake. I'll learn.
urlinkto.com is not the right place.
This is more the place.
Hello, my name is Andrew, and I'm an addict. I hit rock bottom this week. Not being able to be home for the last 2 games (itsnotmyfaultitsnotmyfaultitsnotmyfault), I went out, purchased a 3G wifi hub, downloaded the HNIC app, purchased the playoff bundle, and proceeded to watch the game at work. On my iPod Touch. I need help. Until I get some...
GO YOU MOTHER FUCKING HABS GO, OR I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL SELL MY CHILDREN'S SOULS TO SATAN TO GET YOU THE FUCKING CUP!!
Amen
I HATE THIS TEAM, TOO! I want to hate them into June.
It took watching seven hours of "The State Within" and watching the 2010-2011 Stanley Cup Champs losing to Buffalo last night to move on. I HATE THIS TEAM.
But I truly hate JM, Pouliot, and Spacek.
GYFHG I HATE YOU
BEST...PHOTOSHOP...EVER.
(Jitters)
OK - I did everything right on Thursday and to make certain I didn't watch the game either. Fine fuckin' thanks I get for my sacrifice. So tonight I don't give a shit - I'm streaming the mutherfucker and I'll post comments during the game - let's see if they can get their heads out of their collective arses and do something.
Just so that I don't completely jinx things - I am asking for another completely competent performance from each and every one of them!
Now GYMFSOBCHG!
No I am not addicted. There, I said it.
I can't quit anytime I want to. No problem. I swear. After tonight's game...
*can
look man we have such a great history, and history is the most important predictor of the future. So dispite all the bowling alley operatives and merican owners, we are the habs, ever living. ever positive in the name of jAH. At the moment with the ever loving, ever natural resource no one can fuck this up country, I am in fear, so be positive man, vibrate your soul, and love your children and grand children because the make you imortal, as it was in the first and as it will be in the always, Jah rastifari postitive.
I am super serious, that is what defines me, so I was going to take a deep journalistic view of this blog. What I found was funny, and open to questions, for example, can you trust a Habsfan29 when he has the so partisan name as Allan? All along I thought he might have a name more comforting like Steve!
heh @Hadulf, aand everyone really. group therapy is the only thing that works
6-0 Habs South. Pens are still sleeping in late apparently
Okay I got my new tits tshirt on today, and when I was looking that glass table top and my nose was real close because I was looking for a nasel affliction. I did notice my fucking made in Canada super tits tee had an NHL badge that distracted from the CH in a bad way, also why did it not have the CH racing stripes like the tees all the strippers wear, I feel Mr Molson has let me down.
I don't hate this team. I think they are just fine - unfortunately the other team's pretty good too, maybe even a bit better on paper.
Let's not forget we'd be a bit better than them if our 2nd line had MaxPac on the wing instead of Moen or Darche.
I just want to give an "unintentional bird" to the Habs this evening. Real Men Wear Black!!!
FUCK!!! Just threw that out there thinking it would improve my chance of my post not getting deleted.
Here we go Bruins...here we go!
Jim T at least until May 3 it is a free country and we will just mark you down as voting for me.
This is a choice made by men, men carefully selected and groomed all their lives to take par in this epic battle, I would not ask for anything less and I only wish I could partake because my contribution would be, no never mind, Go you fucing Habs go and slay this black and gold.
Steve, "men carefully selected and groomed all their lives to take par in this epic battle, I would not ask for anything less and I only wish I could partake because my contribution would be" ... did you get an invitation to the royal scam, er, wedding? Bonus points for those that guess the band.
Allan I have given you a fair chance to change your name to Steve, yet you refuse not only to change your name but to adress the issue, Alan dangerous for Canada, dangerous for FHF
@Kmaxx: Agree, not going to give a PHuck tonight and instead of trying to figure out which clothing combo and ritual I need to stick with, I'm gonna wear one of Mrs. n's dresses or underwear or whatever, watch PHucken' naked, it doesn't matter because I don't care.
Now GYMFHG!
@moeman with my majority I do not need an invite to your bedroom, and it has been a long time since i had conseual sex with my photo op bride chewing carpet. But if I get my majority there will be no more sex, drugs or rock and roll, just me singing songs with lyics I can not supoort. Rise up Canada, give me a new pope, that can not be caught molstintin kids.
Lets be serious for a second, religious leaders molsesting kids, all gentile none Pastrfarian.
Should I go on, well why not. Okay your marry in arranged mariages group has no pediphiles cause they lowered the limit to zero. For me I like a girl my own age, no shit.
Okay you like me better when I sing about hockey. To bad no leafs, so I called Collie, the PP will be big tonite.
No I am not worried, is clear we are a better team.
Go you fucking mether ducnking mother sucking Alan loving, Steve wary Habs Go
@Moeman - I will fuck you up if I do not get a majorithy, I have alredy and cAUSE YUR not a lawyer registered the term mOEMEN, SO Its just like the matrix, CAPS Rule
@Steve, what the fuck are you on?
I'm not watching tonight, will PVR and check it later if the results are positive. Going to watch an exciting junior team live tonight.
Steve, you will get your majority and the rabbit hunters will be happy. The NDP will win Quebec and put Jack and Jill in Stornoway. Moeman will lead the revolution. Viva la revolucion!!
What the fuck is going on in the world - must be all that excess radiation from Japan.
Just stopping by to say GO BRUINS! Gotta get over to the arena soon, so I can't stay and chat, unfortunately.
Go ahead and fuck me up Steve but don't fuck up abortion, marriage and ganja laws.
I am electing the M. to the Senate, unless of course Steve changes the Senate rules.
I'll admit it. I'm addicted too. And I'll quit them when I'm good and ready (IF and when they get bounced out of the playoffs and even then, it'll only be for a few days at the most)! Sighhhhhh.
When they win, I'm bouncing off the walls yet, when they lose, I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. Crazy, I know.
Anywho... GoYouFuckingHabsGo!!!
It does not matter if you made a snide comment on the Gazzete or the Globe and Mail, I will get you, gotta fill those prisons, and Moeman, deep, deep incarceration for making fun of the greatest gladiators in my mindfucking force, the inspiration that lead me to believe people would vote for failure, the Toronto Maple Leafs, under my tutatlge we can all be spectacular failures.
AND bitches one thing you should know, Lockheed Martin has my green card and a golden parachute that noboy in Canada could t0uch
Hi Cornelius Hardenbergh.
yeah we all know you had oral with GWB and did not swallow, good for you
Fuck the cosmos has become my personal friend, and it just keeps on playing with me, and worse than that they are all world shaking events.
I am so scared I will be bitch slapped tonite, I took crazy precautions, fuck they did not change anything. I am still scared, I hope reason will prevail, and in the back of my mind I know there is a call from above that never seems to be in my favour.
all I got
GYFHG!!
Steve, play safe.
I have not been addicted for years. Bettman provided the cure - mega doses of mediocrity and parity. Never good enough to succeed but never bad enough to reap the rewards of failure.
Boone says Ryan McDonagh was "one that got away." Les Canadiens would never have pried Gomez out of Sather's hands without including a top prospect.
Wait. What?
tried to read through the comments, but got steved out. Must be withdrawal.
so anyway,
fuck the broonz and
GO YOU MOTHER FUCKING HABS GO!!!!!
GHG, one hour to the big show, and some day narration to go along
See ya L8R NYR.
Went to games two and three. Inadvertently caused the disasters due to my very presence. Was offered tickets to game 6 and declined them for said reason.
Either I am magic or I am dumber than Lucic with a concussion. In any event, ALLEZ ALLEZ ALLEZ MONTRÉAL.
cbc/hnic has such a hate on for the Habs its almost indescribable.
~ they preview/promo that they will play the Bs drop fuck murphys, why? Its not hniboston, or is it?
~ heely says the Habs better be ready
~ hahahrudey says its all Montreal's fault
~ pjsucks says Gomehs sux, OK
~ mclame says Bs know how to turn things around
~ collectively they suggest Pretzel isn't scorong but is shutting down Habs
~ hahahrudey says Timmeh is a remarkable speciment, pjsux says he hopes for 60 minutes of the Bs fat fuck goalie
~ pjsux wants Bs 3rd line to crank it
~ friedman says Habs are 'concerned', Bs 'more creative'
~ 10 minutes of preview not a single positive comment about the Habs
Kidz, this cbc shit is pre-planned, pre-produced and post- puked out for your playoff pleasure.
heh, cbc/hnic obsession with sCam Neely defines their disgust for anything Montreal and theirbilious Bs bias. How many Cups does this hack have (combine them with cherry's) than Roy, as a Hab?
The world is over as we know it. Don Cherry is tweeting... in all caps.
An interesting read on the mistake that led to the 3-on-1 and consequently, the game winning OT goal from last game by Elliotte Friedman
Good piece by friedman (the only hnic'er with integrity) on DarCHe.
Disgusting pro-Bruins promo piece.
Be interesting to see if they do a similar pro-Chicago piece.
mclame says TFS™'s staCHe is not good and freaky, to him. Why?
hnic is worried 'if it doesn't go well for Montreal'. Why are they so complexed with a team they hate? Oh, wait.
Why Jaro 2.0, what the fuck is wrong with SM2?
First goal by the Mexicant.
Easy call he has to score sometime in 2011
Kimmerly? Oh boy.
Go Habs, send these fucking fake fans home early.
gary galling says he hopes Pretzel has his best game of the series. Why?
@moe: I dunno. He likes fucking hunchbacks?
How bad can Weber be?
That's gonna back to haunt them, right?
bob cold says he can smell Mex's ass.
Another one of Gomer's Mexicomas...
Mexicans and Jews 'all look alike' according to Bob Cold.
Lego's gonna score
An excited gary galling says Pretzel is coming. Why?
it's my first drunk game of hte series. Had to after last game. Alone and drunk. No wife. No kids. Me and the dog. Life is good
FUCK. He didn't play the puck!
Is there a prize for comment #69?
wv: I wish HNIC would unpjsuc.
hnic says an non penalty 'has to be called'. Why?
gary galling says it is a matter of time Price gets beat. Why?
it was the obvious scoring choice moe. 'had to be called'.
Galley on Lucic: "he's on his game. It's just a matter of time." FCUK OFF!@!!
You guys, PK has affected the integrity of the game, and Zdeno Chara is just steamed about it. How could PK anger such a gentle giant so.
gary galling is galled.
I thought the CBC team was relatively restrained during Game 4 but they seem worse than ever tonight. Can't wait for Grapes to chime in about PK.
According to hnic'ers cold and galling the Habs were extremely dominated 333 shots to -4 and their bruins deserved better. Score is still 0-0. Pheeyoo or Peeyoo?
where was this shutdown system last game, but boys, you gotta score one first
I'm gonna bet the old racist hilites that Chara Subban clip and states that PK or whatever his name is (who, BTW would by now have reached godlike status if he were in a leaf jersey) deserved to be punched in the head by Chara and Chara is 'getting back to the way he needs to play'.
Oh wait, PK is saved by Dan Hamhuis. Apparently in the old days nobody would dare hit a guy with a concussion.
McLame leaf blowing. Really? "Burke drafted Bobby Ryan 2nd overall in Anaheim so he could get him in Toronto." WTF? Is Bobby a leaf? Can't be. BECAUSE HE'S IN THE FUCKING PLAYOFFS!
Hey needed to know Riemer loves Jesus
This just in: Jesus walks with James Reimer. All those times James only saw one set of footprints in the sand trap, that was when Jesus was carrying him.
Fuck Don if you wanted to talk about Jesus, well Jesus Price
cbc/hnic'ers say 'you can't beat Jesus?' whilst lying and denigrating others. 2012 can't come soon enough. Sick fuckers.
I just broke into my Flor de Cana 12 year old Centenario. Best fucking rum ever. Over ice. Holy fuck. Smooth. Nice.
Oh look. Pretzel. He's looking happy. Galley must've been in for the first intermission Pretellatio.
Pastafrians for Jesus
or for non believers, spagitti with red wine.
Hey Chocula practice the two on one
Perpetual PK?
cold says a Bs goal would change the game. Really? Would a Habs goal you sick senile fuck?
Regardless of the hnic bias, Habs are playing like shit.
bob cold "gomez dropped to the ice when he saw the hit coming". Wow.
Bob, he didn't 'drop to the ice' there was a fuckign stick in hs skates!
Is Gionta playing tonight?
@L Dude - Apparently, he & Mex were benched for a whole five minutes in the second.
heh, cold says PleXXXe throws a right hand, which he did, says nothing about Bs scumbag marchand's punch, then galling says marchand;s punch is a good thing. Why? galling diaper is soaked.
heh, bob cold squeezes his sad wrinkled nutsack for the Bs to get one last shot off (pun intended) and Dr. recchi shoots one way wide. cold is disappointed as he wanted a Bs facial. Sick. Old. fuck.
Did I fall asleep is this game being played in September?
Gotta give cred where it's due. At least Healy mentioned fuckface Marchand's spear on Price and cheap shot on PleXXX.
The most entertianig aspect of this game is that Karberle is worse than the Mexicant. At least we can claim the tech to scout him before signing was not in place.
Patches tweets: "this game is longer than marchands nose"
A team in Winnipeg means one more Canadian team for hnic to hate. Go Jets!
Not good.
... and Collie's son cheats on the play. Go figure.
hnic with selective stats. Sick.
All Price wants for next year is a better team, Goat. Preferably one with guys who can aim.
This is hurting too much
CHallah.
Fuck you hnic.
CHalpern!!!
CHalper from Lego, I am awake now
In the words of Bob cold, next goal is a big one
It's the matzo.
Give Hammer a cane, he is done
I am picking Squid
Why is the camera on sCam Neely? What has he ever done? Really, I've thrown back more ugly seabass. Get over him hnic. Sick fucks.
hnic's orrgasms know no bounds. Sick fucks.
I enjoyed that feature on Marchmouth toucan, what the fuck
SO what'd i miss?
just CHecking in from the Casa del 29 del norde (the land of the 56k modem). the whole clan is drunk and watching. mom of 29 is FREAKING OUT. 29 is FREAKING OUT.
DEEP BREATH....
TITs is having an off night
shoot that fucking biscuit
Oy TFS™
heh, hnic instantly puts their sCamera on ugly seabass. Why?
Obsessed with sCam neely. Why?
Kessel tracker is useless in the playoffs, welcome Seabass tracker!
win just one faceoff please
Dive.
Bull fucking shit
hnic's OT bias saw no bounds. None. Sick fuckers.
This OT is too much for me to handle. See you all the end.
Big shaved ape is going to put it in his own net
What do marek and moronsson add?
Which bruin exec yipped it should've been a penalty shot? seabASS?
Beaners can't even make ice.
Fuck off cold.
I'm gonna be sick.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Fuking Friday all over again
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi my name is Roman Hamrlik and I can't turn around.
I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.
Would this be considered an overdose?
shit fuck damn
Poor Hamr, he looked deader than disco halfway through the first OT.
Meh. Two mediocre teams, one wins in overtime. At the end of the day neither one of them are contendors. Bring on the summer.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue
WV - "methme"...how fitting
Sone analysis please. "Fuck fuck fuck fucks" are pointless.
Game one: Gomez, effective, help offense to victory.
Game two: Gomez much less offensively l effective, but minimizes his defensive mistakes.
Game three: Gomez disappears. Team loses.
Game four: Gomez a disaster, on ice for 4 or the 5 Bruins goals, directly responsible for two Boston goals.
Game five: Gomez disappears, team loses again.
What does this mean? There is no way Gomez should be allowed back into Montreal after elimination.
I never want to here Gomez name again. I can not remember ever having a Hab player I so did not like.
I would take two urologist in a trade.
Re-locate
*sob*
*BAAWwwwwwwwwwwwwwww* as expected, however series turns out Habs will do it in the most painful way for fans.
I hope the Broonz plane crashes into the cotU.
That is all.
Awful quiet around here this morning. Chins up kiddies, it ain't over yet. Didn't watch the whole game but all these bad bounces have a way of evening out.
OK, even if the season is over Tuesday night, I look forward to all the flayings Gomez is going to be receiving here over the summer.
Gauthier will find some taker for him. Right?
Seriously, I don't think Hamr deserves to be KO'ed by our comments. Remember the season...He is too old and slow, yes, but he did give the CH his 5.5 Mil worth of contract. Anyway...
The game last night was a fucking stressful thing to watch. Big Fatty Fat Timmeh is a lucky S.O.B. God dammit he's lucky. He had 5 more goalies out there with him. Proof that his team has no confidence in him.
It ain't over.
Plus, now I'm really quitting...after next game
it is most recently web page, about know all information in this web site.....
Soft-Leaf Buffalo Lawn
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