Thursday, April 07, 2011

Ladies and Gentlemen, on stage for your dancing pleasure the Ottawa Senators - Preview and Open Thread


My goodness only two games left in the regular season. And it seems like forever since I've seen an old-fashioned stripperriffic preview around here. That changes NOW.

Waiting in line details - 7 PM start from beautiful downtown Kanata. Or maybe its the outskirts of Kanata? I'm not up on my Kanata geography. Just drive West on the 417 you can't miss it. On the CBC for some reason (so they can practice their Habs-bashing for the playoffs?). The Sens are actually hotter than the Habs in their last 10, 6-3-1 vs. 5-5-0. Sens coming off beating the Flyers even. Habs have taken 4 of 5 from the Sens this year, including the last one, a 7-1 win in Ottawa back in January. It's been since January? I remember when we used to play the Sens every week.

Pay your cover charge to - since the loss of SLC and the quiet demise of Scarlett Ice, your best hope for an entertaining Sens blog is The 6th Sens.

Hot sexy Habs to watch - there's some Squidly goodness getting warmed up for the playoffs with 5 points in his last 4 games. Tits is playing his tits off lately. Pernell Fuckin' Karl has goals in each of his last 3 games, and needs one more to tie the Habs rookie record for a defenseman held by Pointu.

Hot sexy Sens to watch - Spezz has 6 points over his last 2 games, and 20 points over his last 13. Filip Kuba a poiint per game over his last 5.

Skanky Habs to watch - CHicken and DDD both pointless in their last 7 games. I could have sworn it was longer.

Skanky Sens to watch - whoever is between the pipes. Like that's news for Ottawa.

Not dancing due to too many vodka Red Bulls - Big Bald Alex Auld will give some much-needed rest to TFS. CHallah is out, but we could see the return of Jaro Spacek tonight. The Sens have a long list of wounded headed by Alfie and Gonchar.

36-24-36 stats - the Habs are 7th in the league in both PP and PK percentage. Lucky!

A new suit in the VIP room buying $1000 bottles of champagne on his expense account - The Habs just named a new Chief Operating Officer. He's a lawyer! Run for the hills!

Conversation topic in the cabine privée with Kandi - Bs, Caps, Phucktards or Pens in the first round, who would you rather see?

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - The NuDen advertises "kinky surprises". We like that.

Bring your kinky surprises to the comments

110 comments:

Steve said...

"Kevin Gilmore was recruited by the Walt Disney Company" The Habs officially has a mickey mouse management.

If Prongers fucking claw still hurts Philly, otherwise Pens for sure. No chance Crosby comes back, cause Don thinks its a bad idea and it ruined Stan Johnathon one time.

PFK needs two more goals and so does Squid.

Steve said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steve said...

Official Club de Montreal CH puck bunny, did not catch her name, but she want a new bridge, and cant wait for the deficit to be payed off to get some.

Steve said...

bullshit
Guess the tax break was not big enough for them. I will never pick up a Sherwood again, although Sexy Friday is a Sherwood.

Bill 101 said...

the world turns, spring threatens

life goes on no matter how we fuck up our own lives

some things we just need to stay the same:

Leaf is bye bye. Bring on the B's. No running and hiding.

GYFHG!!

the Maritimer said...

I copied this from the Morning Skate since that thread is dead
in response to Le Douze.


I liked Pierre Bouchard, he had some epic battles with the Bully Phucktards, especially Dave the Hammer Schultz. Seems to me a fight promoter in Montreal wanted them to go in the ring one year.

Sadly Pierre didn't play much after Stan Jonathan broke his face in the playoffs in '77 I think.

Reimer for the Vezina? LMFAO!! McSplooge officially has blue and white disease and is definitely fucked in the head. What an asshole.

This is the fool who said the leaf had the "big four", Kaberle, Schenn, Beauchemin and Komosuck comparing them to the Big 3. Two of them traded and Komo a #7 d-man nowadays. TSN actually pays for this insight?

the Maritimer said...

Oh, I forgot:

STRIPPERS!!! YAY!!!

Le Douze said...

@the Maritimer -
Yeah, I think I underestimated Pierre B. in the day - I was really only interested in hockey players that could dipsy-doodle around on the ice while opponents fell on their ass (ie. Lafleur). Pierre Bouchard didn't fit into that category, exactly. I wasn't too keen on any of the guys with "grit", like Risebrough or Lupien, but I did like guys like Gainey and Jarvis quite a bit, even if I didn't fully understand what they were all about. I think I liked them because the other teams' top lines could never seem to score against them. But clearly we needed somebody to defend us against the Philly Phucks, because everytime we went to the Spectrum somebody ended up on crutches. I hated Bobby Clarke and Schultz etc. with a great passion. Boston I hated, but with respect. Philly - no respect, just disdain.

And I don't understand why the CoTU media wants Reimer for the Vezina. Shouldn't he be a shoo-in for the Hart? I mean, he took a left-for-dead team of sadsacks and moved them up the rankings a couple of slots so they were only a few positions out of the playoffs (but still dead sadsacks). Isn't that league beating work?

/irony

WV: "pudevag" - bilingual naughty bits?

moeman said...

Also, don saleski.

CotU mediots are desperate leaf fans not hockey fans.

the Maritimer said...

@Le Douze, fuck, may as well give him the Calder as well. PFK isn't good enough according to the CoTU geniuses so might as well give to their newest superstar.

Oh well, they're feeling kind of sad in the CoTU these days, no more leaf to discuss. Guess you can't blame cbc/hnic, tsn, sportsnet and all the papers. Millions of southern Ontarians will do something else besides watch hockey now.

Hey, if the leaf win Saturday night, they can have a parade down Yonge Street anyway. Any leaf fans I know are usually just happy when they beat Montreal. That's their version of the Stanley Cup.

Personally, I don't get too excited anymore when Canadiens beat Toronto. Boston or Philthy, now that's something else.

moeman said...

The M, I suggest that the CotU mediots will have lots to say about the leaf on Saturday, sunday and during the playoffs. Burkkake has yet to come down from on high to proclaim his genius and how bright the future will be. leaf nation will drool and foam at the pants.

I remember the night when the Red Wings won the Cup a couple of years back and all these morons talked about was OMG! will cujo re-sign. He ended up bailing and choking in Detroit. They are sick fucks.

Le Douze said...

@Maritimer -
yes, of course that goes without saying. And the Conn Smythe (though they might have to get a rule change, since as I recall the leaf didn't ACTUALLY QUITE make the playoffs this year.) What about the Norris, since apparently he's the saviour of the lead D corps? And there must be a few more he could get ... let's see, not the best save %, he's behind Bobby Lou and TFS, not to mention 23 others, not the best GAA, he's about 34th, behind Tiny Tim and TFS, not the most wins, behind TFS, Bobby Lou, and Kipper, and a ton of other guys... There must be something. His winning % isn't bad - is there a prize for that? Maybe they should make one.

Now with the games against the leaf I'm happy if no one gets hurt (at least no one on Nos Glorieux gets hurt).

Moey said...

@ The M,

I remember that! "Montreal had the big three and now Toronto has the big four." I spat out a mouthful of tea when I heard that. Blasphemy of the highest order. He's lucky (us not so much) the hockey gods didn't strike him down dead.

the Maritimer said...

@moeman and le douze, let's keep track how many times McLame and whoever say the word "leafs" tonight. Since it's only Thursday I'm guessing PJ Stunned will be the co-host.

Supposed to be lots of Marlies playing Saturday. Hopefully not too many headhunters trying out. Colby Armstrong's not playing so that's one goof they don't have to worry about.

Anonymous said...

You guys are spending the whole day talking about the Leafs. wtf.

moeman said...

Dou$harek has been truculent of late. I'd love to see PFK! take him (Dou$harek) out marchand-style but Dou$harek can't skate, hit, take a hit, score, defend, have integrity. I'll settle for anyone hitting kadri, hard and watch cherry lose his last marble.

the Maritimer said...

@Moey, I wonder if McSplooge actually realizes how stupid he sounds sometimes making comments like that.

@Anonymous, we are not talking about the leaf. We are laughing at their (and their media idiots) stupidity. If you were paying attention we've been talking about the Big 3 of the 70's dynastys. If you worship at the alter of the Burke you wouldn't understand.

moeman said...

mcsplooge is desperate for a full-time NHL GM or leaf cocksucking gig. The simple facts that he empties his nutsack to praise the leaf alleged Big 4 is proof enough that he isn't worthy to be an NHL exec (consider the losers). Even funnier if when he over-compensates for his dick size by screaming into the mic. Fucking fake.

Steve said...

I want Mr Molsons Vagina (happy MM)to tell the new COO from Disney to create a spectacle on ice. Yes the Bulldogs play the Leafs and surely as shit flows down the St Lawrence, Mtl will win, and while the leafs are out on the golf course, and Burka protected from the sun try to tee off they will realize, were fucked.

Steve said...

Leafs Golfing

moeman said...

heh, mclame didn't like the awesomesauce celebration. Go Fuck yourself you fucking leaf fan.

Steve said...

On CBC I thought everyone except PJ was sucking some PFK .

Moey said...

@moe & M,

Another reason McSplooge should never be put in charge of an NHL team - he said Komisarek would be so much better playing for the leafs because he no longer had Markov dragging him down. He said that as true as my First Communion.

the Maritimer said...

@moeman, I didn't hear the word leaf yet, and just as I'm typing I hear Burka's voice saying leafs, marlies, player development, blah, blah. Ahhahahahahahah!!!!!!

the Maritimer said...

@Moey, too funny!!!!!

moeman said...

@Moey, the most hilarious mcsploogement was when he said and I quote "brian burke is building something magical". That was 2+ years ago. He should just permanently wear a 'dick for sale' t-shirt. Sick fuck.

moeman said...

Speaking of tees, saw a funny one on campus 'I want to F. Scott Fitzgerald'.

moeman said...

Now why would hnic give us jim hughson? I wonder ...

Steve said...

Mr Mickey Mouse, I have been given all kinds of nicknames in my work place, horse cock, scared all the women, Einstein made all the men gang up against me. So please tell the boys that Larry for Lego is an insult to Lars, the Danes and everyone who has ever put two bricks together,

Kmaxx said...

Let's get another thoroughly competent effort out there tonight!

now GYMFCHG!

moeman said...

Steve, you'd think 'horse cock' would've made all the men gang up against you.

Steve said...

"Scott Gomez has the puck"

Has not scored in twenty seven games, not that I am keeping track.

Moey said...

@moe,

McSplooge with his infinite wisdom just mixed up Hogwarts with Hogtown.

Steve said...

@Moeman when John Baird was an Ontario cabinet minister he spent years trying to get me into caucus.

moeman said...

Wow! Steve and to think baird just only recently had his teeth veneered.

Steve said...

"Scott Gomez has the puck"

Ladyshot in the numbers for the Mexicant

Steve said...

@Moemen, if you see him on TV its like he is wearing some king of porcilen seamless mouthguard, maybe it can prevent concussions.

moeman said...

@Moey, for those that don't have the opportunity (get an iFHFone) mcsplooge is even more stupid on the radio. He does local bits and gets so arrogant and pissanty that I laugh my tight glutes off. A good friend of mine, close to the Habs asked me once to try and see if I could smoothly slide in (EZ Steve!) a question about him being turned away by the Habs. I did so on Ottawa radio and he lost his only marble. I ruined his day whilst making mine. What a fucking douchebag.

Number31 said...

That dude in the Barber Pole by the glass who apparently knows when he's on TV somehow is a little annoying but kind of looks like Waldo with that on.

moeman said...

Come to think of it cbcockroach/hnicockroach are probably giving hughson this game just to learn who the Habs' players are.

Number31 said...

Since when is that a slash? 2 minutes for shrugging off someone.

Moey said...

@moe,

Tight glutes? *bats eyelashes* Best I can say about moi is my ass hasn't spread. Yet.

moeman said...

@Moey, oui, merci and I was just trying to get a rise out of Steve.

Kmaxx said...

That was a competent period of hockey. The exnord channel is streaming rds very nicely thanks - can't be doing with any leaf talk tonight. Was goiong to call it a night after the first but I have the day off tomorrow and the game is interesting. I like what the D are trying to do. PFK is so fuckin' scarily good but I'm scared someone is going to try taking him out. The little guys are skating like the wind. At one point I saw Gomez shoot the puck and then sit back and watch as someone from the sens went to get HIS rebound. Steve - help me out here - WTF is the answer? Would a good shot in the cock fix him or is it more that is needed?

moeman said...

Eugene Melnyck, "I'll love PK forever". Nice. mclame says enough of that. The sick fuck is channelling his sick fuck friend cherry's sick fuck racism, with a smirk. Jerk.

Number31 said...

Seriously analyzing this? They do realize this is like a glorified practice game right?

the Maritimer said...

Yep, exhibition hockey tonight.

@moeman, not one "leaf" uttered tonight so far. Poor Ron, he is secretly wishing that PK played for his beloved leaf.

moeman said...

The M, you know it. Methinks mclame and his raci$t pal cherry will lose it on Saturday night. Must see teevee.

moeman said...

heh, thing1 and thing2 looking for 'misery at the Bell Centre' (ripping Gomehs salary). Weirdos.

Steve said...

@Kmaxx, nothing will work for Gomez, its like watching Charlie Sheen and waiting for his teeth to drop out.

moeman said...

@Steve, isn't Charlie touring with his Goddesses? If so, why are you focusing on his mouth? NTTIAWWT.

Number31 said...

For the 500th time: Gomez is the setup man, don't expect him to magically start scoring. That's Gio's job.

I'm shouting more at Pouliot to score a fucking goal, otherwise chop that extra-long stick in half already.

moeman said...

Nifty move/pass by LEGO.

Steve said...

@Moeman, you gotta rub in that Bree Olsen stuff, I blew it with her talking about accessories. At the time I was applying teflon to the CRAP party. John asked if it was possible to have a teflon sphicter, and my mistake was to ask Bree if she would like one.

Kmaxx said...

Hey - with Jaro 2.0 back in - is Sopes sitting?

moeman said...

Steve, speaking of getting rid of crap, I would suggest baird, considering his love of the whitening, has had the anal bleaching.

Steve said...

@Moeman, only UPS has accepted more packages

Kmaxx said...

that pp was pathetic...

Steve said...

@31 "Scott Gomez has the puck"

Just who is he setting up? Nine out of ten times he has the puck its headed back to Montreal.
And on the tenth time its icing/

Kmaxx said...

Gio!!

iRiRi said...

Just walked in to that!!! Gio!!!

Steve said...

Chocula has Lego Tits Squid in his notebook

moeman said...

Gio!

Steve said...

Neil you fucking dick wad, you want to lose and get a better draft pick.

Number31 said...

Dear Notebook, remind me to tell Cammy to take the faceoff when it's a powerplay.

Moey said...

Well I like this, a lot. Stuffing my face with spicy California rolls & sipping on a cold, crisp Chardonnay. Stress free hockey. Ahhh.

the Maritimer said...

Sphincters? Anal? What the hell?

moeman said...

You think mclame cares about Miller or just wanted to get in some leaf garbage? Fucking asshole.

Number31 said...

Is Glenn Healy trying to get his old job back or is he just so bored he's now picking on some of the crappy goalie masks out there?

moeman said...

Yup, playoffs around the corner, lots to talk about. 80+ games multiplied by 30 teams and old masks are the issue. Sure.

iRiRi said...

Has it been mentioned that CBC will be airing all playoff series involving the Habs. Does this mean no McSplooge?

Orangeman said...

Once again CBC says shut out and they score two seconds later. Assholes.

Steve said...

I do not fucking understand it, the last thing Ottawa should want is a win, Lotto pick assholes

moeman said...

iRiRi, I think tsn doesn't get any Canadian teams no matter what this year.

Steve said...

now they are GOOIN it up WTF

Anonymous said...

How is Scott Gomez playing in the NHL?

iRiRi said...

Noooooo, not Pyatt! Kidding. Hope he's ok. Get those record-tying goals, PFK!

Number31 said...

Lessard. He's one of those Gillies type. Why the fuck he's playing up here I have no idea. Surely there's someone with actual skill in Bingo that could have that roster spot.

wv. wayste
Lessard is a wayste of air.

Kmaxx said...

well...that pp sucked huge balls!

Number31 said...

Anon, Gomez is doing his job. The puck bouncing off Darche stole his assist on Gio's goal.

iRiRi said...

If I hadn't spent an 45 mins watching YouTube vids of last year's playoff run, that PP might have worried me a little.

Steve said...

Im sorry but we look like Stanley Cup Chumps tonite, NTTIAWWT

Anonymous said...

Number31

"Gomez is doing his job. The puck bouncing off Darche stole his assist on Gio's goal."

Translation:
Consistently doing nothing.

?

Steve said...

PFk makes nice passes

Kmaxx said...

Squid doesn't look like he's all that interested

iRiRi said...

This game is all kinds of lamesauce.

Go watch THIS. Million times more entertaining!

Steve said...

I just focused on "Scott Gomez without the puck" on that last shift, and I have not experienced so much coasting since I skied the Hakkankam.

iRiRi said...

FUCK.

Kmaxx said...

fuck me - that was a nice shot - give him that. but come on! only one tem looks like they want to win this game.,..and they are!

Steve said...

Another total stupid motherfuck spawn of Dracula soul sucking move by Chocula. He should have played the Bulldogs and not given a shit, now the team has lost buzz.

moeman said...

PlayoffSquid!

iRiRi said...

FUCK YEAH SQUID!

Steve said...

I knew that would happen

Kmaxx said...

squid!!!!!

moeman said...

SweeTit pass.

moeman said...

simpson should just STFU and sharpen his toe picks.

Orangeman said...

Being a Habs fan is emotionally draining.

Steve said...

was that a TITS pass?

Steve said...

I stand by my soul sucking comment

iRiRi said...

You can say that again, o-man. Sigh.

moeman said...

Oh well.

Orangeman said...

So so draining.

Steve said...

Please for the love of GOOOOOOD play the Bulldogs on Saturday night.

Steve said...

Worst thing is Choucla fucked up a stripperific

Kmaxx said...

Even if i have they day off I fucken hate staying up to watch them lose - especially when they play so shit - Sens were there for the takin but the Habs got all over themselves, Chocula benched the kids and the rest of them stopped skating. Fuck and fuck!

Night all!

Steve said...

Worse than that I have pledged never to touch a Sherwood again, and tomorrow is Sexy Friday.

Number31 said...

Whatevs, their last home game. Yawn.

HeadHunter said...

Was the whole team impersonating Gomez? Maybe some may say it doesn't matter since we are in but it does matter momentum wise, confidence wise. Auld deserved this one and the rest of the team, from a lot of awful passes to lots of awful face offs and even more awful weak shots on great rebound/open net chances crapped the bed. It matters because it sucks to watch them lose...especially to Ottawa...and on CBC where they were popping corks at 1-1.

Number31 said...

The Canucks made a statue of the coach that brought them to the Stanley Cup finals for the first time holding a stick with the white towel on it? They didn't actually WIN the Stanley Cup then though. The Canucks are strange...

HabsFan29 said...

Just walked in. What'd I miss? Sounds like not much...