Tuesday, April 15, 2008

And now for something completely different... Pivotal Game 4 Look Ahead and Live Discussion

Longtime FHF regular Bryan (that's the Bryan with a "y") wanted suicide girls as a replacement for the strippers. I found him a suicide girl stripper. Don't say FHF doesn't listen to our three readers.

If ever there was a "pivotal" Game 4, this is it. Take a 3-1 stranglehold or slink back to Montreal for the start of a best of three. Habs have sucked out the joint for the last two games. Don't believe me? Listen to the team:

We had our chances, but we aren't working, we aren't talking on the ice and that's why we we're in trouble - Steve Bégin
Some of the players need to realize that we're in the playoffs - Carbo
The last two games, I played like a little girl out there - TurtlePlek

I love that last quote. I may type it in every FHF post I write 'til the end of the playoffs. But I digress. Back to my point. And my point is that Habs need to get their shit together. And fast. The things that need improving include, but are not necessarily limited to:

  1. The PP, 1 for a million in the series so far;
  2. The Danse à Dix line needs to uh, score;
  3. Coach Carbo needs to, uh, coach. After a crap Game 2, he did nothing. After a crap Game 3, let's hope he takes some action. Move Streit up front, put Rhino in. Is that so fucking hard? Look at me, I'm an NHL coach;
  4. Markov, Higgins, Ryder, and Streit need to show up.
Things that are just fine:

  1. TFS(tm);
  2. The SlowGreekBang line;
  3. My alcohol and meth intake. After extensive testing, I feel I have found just the right balance.
On the line-up front, Carbo reports this morning that he's keeping it all a big secret until game time. Ooh, sounds like he has a plan. There's a first time for everything.

If you want info from the other side, check out Ghosts of the Garden. The boys had been pretty slow through March and April, but have really picked up their coverage in the playoffs. I've seen Doobie around these here FHF parts, and he seems nice. For a B's fan.

OK, less bullshit and lame meth jokes from me, more comments from you. What are the keys to the game?

95 comments:

hockeyzombie said...

Keys to the game:

First 5 minutes. If the Habs come out like a team on fire then it will show some passion.

Checking. Habs need to throw some bodies around and get there forecheck working.

PP. They just need to get some puck movement inside the Boston zone. Pass it around for 30 seconds and wait for your opening.

Turtleplek. He sounds angry. That is good.

bob said...

How about someone nails the BIG fucker Lucic big time ?

HabsFan29 said...

yes bob!!! hallelujah!

Habsfan10 said...

Key to the game: The return of Good Kovy, who jumpstarts Turtleplek and Big Tits. (On a related note, I'm not sure why everyone seems to be high on the play of Big and Little Tits so far this series ... I don't see it. Sergei is running around like a chicken sans head, and Andrei has been pretty well invisible since his goal 2 minutes into game one. He even got moved off the number one PP unit in game 3.)

The defense needs to keep fuckin smacking people in the mouth. Rhino needs to come in for Breezer for that express purpose. The return of Frankie B wouldn't hurt either. Doom and Hamr are doing all the heavy lifting back there.

Put the kids back together and let Mad Max, Gui! Gui! Gui! and Little Tits cause havoc. At the very least they'll cause the Bruins fits. Put El Dandy with Higgins and Ryder ... none of them are really doing anything, so why not let them do nothing together? It's not like the Bruins will overwhelm them offensively.

That stripper scares me, and not in an entirely good way.

Charles said...

Rhino + Doom + Beef = Lucic - head

Tried not to use too much scientific notation. It's a simple equation really... Just fucking knock his head off

hockeyzombie said...

Not a big fan of that Sobotka either. For some reason he always seems to naviagate through the habs defence.

Matt D said...

Don't worry. By the end of the series, Sobotka will be either a) dead, b) in jail, or c) in the witness protection program.

And at the hands of The Greek, of course. Kosto is awesome.

(Yeah, I love The Wire almost as much as the Habs.)

Montréaliste1 said...

I saw Lucic and Sobotka walking in MTL before game one. I should've ran into them with my car... Fuckers.

Did you guys look at kovy's DVD ? "you rarely play the hockey wit only one hand. But you vant to score on that !" He then top corners it with one hand from 15 feet away. The guys is fuking awesome. He just needs to play like he can.

Jaybird said...

It's sad when Breezeby has been getting points which will keep him in games. Sadder when he has been of our better D. Missing Bouillon and Koivu hurts but we can do this tonight. I really have a feeling our PP is gonna make an epic comeback with two or three tonight. I would Leslie Neilson "Airplane" slap Lord Higgins just to get him going if I saw him....and Gweeome has been mostly useless himself. Lapierre needs to get in and mess up Thomas' kitchen...with mustard 'n shit.

Araev16 said...

Timmy loves mustard. He eats it all day long. Lapierre can continue to get in everyone's face and run at the first sight of danger.

And if someone was to try to run over Lucic with their car, the car would just bounce off like bug flying into a window...He's THAT good. (But seriously, please don't test this theory)

moeman said...

AK27 gets new skate blades. She's wrote kids.

Higgs needs to step it up some. KRex needs to drop a coupla Bs, early. Hammer needs to just be Hammer. Carbo needs to wear that Bday tie and sleep with it on.

Win, come home and clinCH it.

Sonia said...

O'Byrne in, Ryder out per Team 990.

HabsFan29 said...

@sonia - RDS agrees

@jaybird - "gweeome" - heh.

@10 - "none of them are really doing anything, so why not let them do nothing together?" double heh. and the stripper scares me too, but I like it

@matt d - The Wire is the greatest show in the history of TV.

alright drinks poured, meth hit taken, let's do it!!!!

HabsFan29 said...

@araev16 - welcome!! where have you been all year? you guys have the B's blog we've been waiting for, for fuck's sake!

moeman said...

Bs crowd is making noise. First time in 10 years.

Boys skating well.

Bs are good at the East<>West passing.

Is it TiTi's Bday?

That pic scared me too but in a good way.

msevigny said...

Pretty even so far, which is an improvement. Everyone's blocking everything that comes near the net, so I suspect it's going to be another low-scoring affair. These guys' shins are going to be pulp by the end of the series.

HabsFan29 said...

oh jeez that was scary

HabsFan29 said...

man i don't feel so good. we're really running around. but it's exciting hockey for sure

moeman said...

Fast pace, lotsa action and no goals. Habs are in tough&tight. I need a break, maybe I'll go stare at 'the' pic.

HabsFan29 said...

decent period of playoff hockey i guess. that's something

god the Luc Gelinas interview with Rhino. this should be good. aw,damn. Luc's getting better, using simpler words

grrrreg said...

I think Boston had the better chances, but habs are not totally outplayed. They just need to create more opportunities, and score on the fucking PP...

moeman said...

Aww, I missed Luc. Did he end the interview with Thank You Sir!?

moeman said...

The Kelly Hrudey intro sounds pornish.

Sonia said...

I didn't like this period. Habs are still tentative, still not skating hard enough, still not winning battles & still not getting quality chances.

As for the PP, there were a couple of good chances...by the Bruins.

Rips it, scores! said...

I have a bad feeling about this game and that period did little to assuage my fears.

The D spent much of that period allowing Boston to skate at them without getting in tight or hitting them (except along the boards). They improved as time went on but I'm still quite worried.

moeman said...

The Canadian Bruins Corporation.

HabsFan29 said...

@moeman - I rewound the PVR for you and can confirm that Luc's pating words were "Thank you very much and enjoy and [mumble mumble] the game"

HabsFan29 said...

*parting words. i don't know what "pating" is, but sounds fun.

moeman said...

Thnx hf29.

Speaking of words, what do our legal minds think of bobcole's pronunciation of Maxim Law Pierre.

HabsFan29 said...

moeman the legal minds think we wtch RDS to avoid the issue

this game is going nowhere

moeman said...

I wish, I lost the coin flip and two buds from work won out and I'm grinding my teeth en Anglais. Merde.

Habs are wasting every, single opp.

eesh.

moeman said...

Be nice to see the Tits perk up.

Big save Price!

Rips it, scores! said...

Montreal have had some really good chances but they don't look like they can score....if that makes sense to anyone out there.

Price is the human equivalent of a black hole.

HabsFan29 said...

@Rips it - it makes sense to me. but you know, it may be the meth

so seriously, this is game is going nowhere.

Rips it, scores! said...

@HF29: I may have to dip into my heroin supply if the game continues like this. Dublin is only 3 hours away....lots of golden brown there.

This is shaping up to be a first goal wins affair. I can see Boston opening the scoring here and then holding on to the lead. That's where I see this game going.

Rips it, scores! said...

"I can see"
"I see"

Good lord, I come across like a soothsayer in that last post.

moeman said...

I'm just hoping the refs don't fuck this game up. So far, so good. Habs PP coming up. Off to get another Leffe Blonde.

Rips it, scores! said...

Oh goody, a Habs PP! We'll definitely score now! :-D


....can we decline it?

moeman said...

Yeah! Breezer?

moeman said...

Yup. Breezer! Wow.

Matt D said...

ALL IS FORGIVEN BREEZER

Rips it, scores! said...

MY SARCASM WORKED!!!!!!!!!!

Rips it, scores! said...

What a stupid f**king penalty.


Begin, WTF?!?

moeman said...

Rips, come up with some Bégin sarcassm. Fack!

HabsFan29 said...

ok im back. i had a quick heart attack when Breezer scored. ON THE PP. or am i hallucinating?

grrrreg said...

A bad penalty to end it, but what a huge goal by brisebois... And a great play by Sergei just before the goal.

Carey is just amazing.

Sonia said...

wow. a whole goal. took almost 2 periods. scored by...breezer?!?

Rips it, scores! said...

Well, at least Begin has learned an important lesson about closing out periods calmly, which is good for an inexperienced rookie like him.

....that's all I've got, re: sarcasm. Oh dear.

Damion said...

Can't blame Begin: Lucic embellished, Begin had one hand on his stick, which was being dragged away from Lucic... the call was as questionable as the call Markov drew in OT.

The problem is that the puck has the deleterious effect of freezing the feet of any Hab that touches it. For fuck's sake, you're supposed to skate with the puck not freeze like a venison steak wannabe.

moeman said...

Rips knows, scene from a leaf game. Babs must not be too happy wit dat.

Rips it, scores! said...

@ damion: Embellishment or not, Begin's stick shouldn't have been there IMO. Please bear in mond though that I've only seen one replay of the incident so far on this Sopcast stream.

@ moeman: That Leafs game still sends chills down my spine. There's definitely a parallel here....the timing, the fact we've just taken the lead (in the leafs game, we had just doubled our lead, so it's close to the same thing).

moeman said...

PK'd

Nice plays by JoGo.

A bit o' Irish luck too.

Rips it, scores! said...

Please stop the premature oleing, Habs fans.

Kthx.

moeman said...

AK46 seems stuck in neutral.

Rips it, scores! said...

My stream has just died. Dammit.

moeman said...

Greek just missed a golden opp., from Bégin no less.

Rips it, scores! said...

@ moeman: I heard it on CJAD and I just got another stream working. Cleared off the line, can't get any closer.

10 minutes, c'mon guys.

Noda said...

did i mention i love playoff time?

moeman said...

noda knows and so do many, many Habs fans. G&M reports RDS+cbc Hab game #3 numbers at 3.7M combined. Imagine if leaf fans were still watching the hock-hock.

moeman said...

Knuckles getting whiter.

HabsFan29 said...

this period's going so fast, yet so slow

Noda said...

how much would a hit on bob cole cost?

Rips it, scores! said...

@HF29: I know exactly what you mean.


Les Boys are playing very well in this period......and there';s an icing. Crap.

Rips it, scores! said...

Did the linesman just take a Habs player out???

moeman said...

1 to fucking nothing!!!!!!!!!

Rips it, scores! said...

A tough, narrow win by the Habs and Price's first playoff shutout. Nice one.


CJAD says that some projectiles (including a drink at Price) were thrown at the Habs at the final horn.

moeman said...

Another classic Habs v. Bs playoff game.

Sonia said...

@rips it - Habs will finish it off on Thursday, so Bruins fans won't get the opportunity to throw anything at anyone, except maybe the remote at the TV.

Sonia said...

Seriously, though, I want Saku back for game 5.

msevigny said...

Wait a second... did Breezy just save this team's collective ass?

Breezy?

I'm so confused. Is... is Breezy awesome now?

Rips it, scores! said...

@sonia: Here's hoping! If they play like they did throughout the third period and get a couple of goals, they'll get the win. However, the Habs were in the opposite position at this stage in the 2004 series, so it's not quite over yet. Let's hope that the players realise this fact.


Who were the three stars? I can guess who the first star was.

HabsFan29 said...

So Breezer = hero? im not ready to live in that world

give the hero label to TFS

Rips it, scores! said...

@sonia: The sooner Captain K comes back, the better.

@msevigny: If he keeps up his good recent play, then Breezer will be elevated from "awesome" to "awesome to the max". *clicks fingers*

matt - ftc said...

The TFS tag has never been more applicable....


please Koivu, come back next game....

matt - ftc said...

I think Streit has been the goat so far this series for Montreal. Nothing but turnover after turnover. He has been a detriment most of the time he is on the ice.
His is so unsure of himself on the PP that he is super prone to brain cramps, see the 2 on 1 created when he tried to pass through a Bruins legs on the PP, I think it was late second period.

Sonia said...

Streit needs to stay at forward and he needs to settle down. He's been rushing everything.

Didn't catch the 3 stars, but my stars are:

1. TFS(tm)
2. TFS(tm)
3. Breezer and TFS(tm)

Can we Olé now?

msevigny said...

Matt: If it were 2-2, or if they'd won game 3 and lost game 4, I think we'd see Saku. As it stands... unless he's feeling really good tomorrow, I think he'll sit game five at home. If they lose 5, he'll almost certainly play 6 and (god forbid) 7.

I kind of agree about Streit--one of the reasons the PP has been sucking is they refuse to shoot from the point. Yeah, there's a good chance it'll be blocked, but at least the puck is moving towards the general direction of the net, instead of being passed back and forth a few times and then coughed up to a Bruin. If I want to see that kind of power play shit I'll watch the Vancouver Canucks. Oh wait, I can't--they missed the playoffs. Start shooting, Mark.

Rips it, scores! said...

@sonia: Funnily enough, those would be my three stars as well, and yes, the oléing may commence!


Agreed that Streit has been poor so far in this series. He is forgetting the K.I.S.S. rule. He seems to be nervous and overexcited.

Rips it, scores! said...

Who saw this last night at the start of the Sens vs Pens game? Puts the towels in the Bell Centre into perspective, eh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi5nCd1ZVrw

HabsFan29 said...

Rips it I saw it on TSN this morning. don't make me watch it again!

Rips it, scores! said...

@HF29: But it's funny! Maybe they'll have Spartacat perform for game 4, har har.

Sonia said...

The Sens organization needs to be told that Roman Senators were generally prissy old toads in togas who only touched a sword if they were about to fall on it.

Now that would be a show.

msevigny said...

If the Sens had been playing the Habs, the Habs could have come back in game 5 and done the exact same thing, only with Youppi instead of a naked guy.

You know, assuming the Sens could make it to a game five.

lawyergirl77 said...

I can't think of what's more fucked up. The Sens' entrance last night (fuck, they deserve to be swept with that shit) or the fact that I spontaneously declared my love for Breezer tonight...

[i][small voice] more than once [/small voice] [/i]

*reaches for bleach for her brain*

Riddle me this - how are we up 3-1 in a series where we have played like donkey shit for the past three games?? TFS, you are the MAN!

Sonia said...

I'll take donkey shit & a 3-1 lead over "good effort guys" and a 1-3 deficit a-ny day

I'm feeling a little better about the world tonight. 'Night all.

fezworth said...

@LG - I think you just answered your own question.

Ahh, the great Montreal playoff tradition: Ride a great goalie as far as he'll take you.

We're really in the twilight zone when Breezer wins the game for us. Bloody hell.

Bryan said...

*knock knock*

A door opens...

Carey Price - "Yes?"
Jesus Christ - "You're stealing my fuckin' thunder, asshole!"

Bryan said...

dudes, props for the suicide girl. she brought us kinky luck !

lawyergirl77 said...

Oh, don't get me wrong - I'm very VERY happy for the 3-1 lead, and I have no problems with riding TFS as long and hard as possible. (And no, that wasn't a cougar comment... this time...)

I'm just vaguely unsettled by the fact that no one, aside from SlowGreekBang and farking BREEZER are playing in front of him.

lawyergirl77 said...

Bryan - hee! And Carey's response would be: "Oh. Sorry. By the way, it's cool that you exist and all. Do you like horses too?"

(that last bit was for Panger)

HabsFan29 said...

LG im with you - forget "vaguely unsettled," im totally freaked. we have no team.

lawyergirl77 said...

Seriously, 29 - we should get Haley Wickenheiser into the locker room to smack TurtlePlek around and say "Bitch, if I played as shitty as you, I'd be embarassed to call myself a girl..."

Hell, if she smacked around Streit a bit too, I wouldn't object.

Did anyone else think that Ryder got the shaft tonight? I don't think he was playing badly, and certainly not badly enough to deserve getting benched.

HabsFan29 said...

LG Ryder definitely got the shaft. he was one of our best forwards in game 1 and worked hard. Carbo hates him

TreeBob said...

Hey thanks to the plug of GotG. We have been slow. Me especially. Life and kids you know? Hopefully next season I can get my shit together and start writing again. Your post was hilarious :)

TreeBob said...

Oh and by the way, nobody on the Habs can nail lucic. Sorry ;)