Friday, April 04, 2008

FHF Fan Forum - Habs 3, Sabres 1

We're one game away from the conclusion of FHF's first regular season, and we couldn't have done it without our fans. So today all three of you are invited to submit your own game recap - Plan the Parade or The Sky is Falling - even if it is from the completely biased perspective of a non-Habs fans. We'll post the good ones over the course of the day. Just email us at

Just don't hate because we're better than you. Yeah, we're looking in the direction of Broadway.

Panger's Plan the Parade: The most important thing in the playoffs is goaltending. At the very least you need a goalie who gives you a chance to win. Well, it's pretty clear that TFS(tm) is going to give the Habs more than just a chance to win. Once again he was the biggest difference maker and the Habs scored two early and then basically turned to Carey and said "you're on your own; please save the game for us again." So Carey helped kill 5 of 6 powerplays on the Habs suddenly-stellar PK, and then stopped 13 of 14 shots in the third. No "arrogant prick" saves either, although he did make a couple of nice glove grabs on the last 2 minutes. Maybe HF29 will give him some love now.


Plan the parade: So what do we got ? A solid TFS (tm), as usual. What a garbage goal though. It was almost over, he must've been thinking about that Chez Parée Bond. Defence was tight, even without Franky B and DOOM. Hell, even Breezer look allright. Foward lines 3 and 4 did an amazing job. Line numero uno gave us their usual godlike game. Higgins was playing center and was being good at it, while Saku is away taking French lessons. We got some key players injured, but still obtain positive results.

The sky is falling: Well we proved we can beat any offensively oriented team. We stil need to prove we can win against defensive team. Remeber the game against Colombus ?

Chez Parée Bound: You are all getting in. Yes Breezer, even you ! Drinks are on D'Agostini and Stuey. Carey Price and Slowminski are requested in the dance à dix booth.

Next Evil foe: 1967. Leafs suck. They know it and are just trying to piss off their opponants. If Pens win, look for a well deserved rest for Kovy, Price and why not the Hammer. We don't want injuries like Alfie.

Nose Bleed Bob:

Plan the Parade: Sabres tee-off was set at 20:04 when Slomo scored is first of two, to propel is goal total to eight, and send Ryan Miller and is buddies of the Buffalo Sabres on vacation. For the zillion time in a row, the fourth line is on at the initial face off, should you feel the urge to complain ask Buffalo's Andrej Sekera how he feels about that. Is face is still printed on one of the booth's board, courtesy of fourth line left winger Steve Bejing. Markov played huge D, TFS wasn't very busy but did the job when he had to and dance à 1o lines showed glanced of pure ice poetry but wasn't able to capitalise. Rhino is getting some experience time on the PK, and making the most of it by blocking is 10th shot in two games. Over all a walk in the park that made me wonder, are we that good. Habs conference title hopes are still alive, go back to Antarctica you fucking Penguins.

The Sky is Falling: D'Agostini called for hooking on is first NHL shift, fucking Lindy Ruff pulling out is goalie with over 8 minutes left in the game to spoil TFS's 2nd consecutive shutout and just for the sake of it Breezer playing in a third straight game.

Chez Paree Bound: #1 Kovy, who said this guy had the flu, should Plekanec had been able to capitalise, Kovy would have recorded at least an extra 2 points. #2 TMS, not very busy but stood tall at the right time. #3, how do you say being at the right place at the right time, Slomo netting 2 with midget shots and getting some ice time when Buffalo's net is empty to get the hat trick.

Next Evil Foe: The worlds most hated team, the fucking Leafs. 41 years of suckitude coming our way to end the Habs best season in more than 15 years. Let's end this the way it should, Leafs Suck !


Fack! Zees Buufflo teem sheet. Big ugly Cari heff no work to do. Mankey on motorcycle coud heff get shootout. I could heff get shootout last night if even I pley in Hemilton in dark room, masturbating. But no, coach Carbono, no heff give Jaro time in net.

All defencemen het me. Markov, he worst. He always let best pleyer on other team get breakaway on Jaro. He do on purpose, because me prettier than heem. Ees not hard. And Streit? He haff no make up mind. Why he always fly back to front play, then next gem he back play. He make me so mad.

Now teem can get Conference win if beet stinky Leefs Saturday. Will Jaro get net? No, no. "You sit, Jaro. Look sexy." I do thees, thees easy, but I want pley! I tell coach Müller thet I pley better than big ugly Cari, and he say: "But he only let one goal behind he ass. You let lots. You play like squirrel on speed." I HET BUG UGLY CARI! HE SO PRANCI, HE ALWAYS PUT DEEP HEET IN MY UNDERWEAR BEFORE GAME! Thees reeson why I no pley good anymore.

I Het thees facking city. At leest in Hamilton I heff time to mine own.

Flying Toaster:

Well, the good thing about this season? I was right. The Habs seem to be just where i predicted them to be. One of the fastest, high-scoring teams in the east with a top-notch young goaltender in Carey Price. Just in case you're asking yourself, no, i never predicted them to finish 1st, i predicted them to finish 7th, but then again, who would have thought the Sens would have such a big slump? After last season, many saw the Habs as a poorly coached team with no stars, and with the loss of Sheldon Souray, it also lost it's main source for goals. The so-called "experts" saw them 14th, after such teams as Atlanta, Tampa Bay, Washington, the Islanders, etc. How can a team who finished 9th go all the way down to 14th with the loss of a single defenseman? I thought they were crazy. I also saw what Hamilton did, what with winning the Calder Cup and all. I saw Carey Price easily as the goalie, not of the future, but of the present. There was Sergei Kostitsyn who had me sold ever since he joined the London Knights, Maxim Lapierre who learned alot about leadership in that Calder Cup run. What i saw, was a team chock-full of young talents who could easily ride this team into the playoffs. But the one factor that made them go above the 7th position i gave them is Kovalev's play. He simply dominated every shift he's been on the ice and has helped this team surpass what i thought they were capable of doing. Now, with one game left and the possibility of a 1st-place finish, who here thinks the Habs can go all the way? I don't know about you guys, but i got a whole patio being built on St. Catherine's.

[Ed's Note: We all feared this one, and here it is:]

Jeff Hong Kong here. You know the MAD COKE GUY.

Grock, Gree.

Ishbudalem. Great word, just made it up, sounds vaguely Beirut.

I worry about large nuclear devices exploding near my wife.

Grock. You know that early seventies self help book 'I'm OK you're OK'? My buddy Rog thought it said imok, urok. He used to say it al the time. But he was four years old then, so really, we're fuckin dumb at that age kinda.

You must press on young brave attorneys. I am old now, so tired. You must.....must.....cover....the playoffs....

Grock, Getchabelum Saiyumkee.

More made up cool words. I very cokaine now, gotobed now me.



HabsFan29 said...

oh i love him Panger. arrogant prick is good for a goalie

panger76 said...

@29: fair enough. I always thought Roy would be that much better if only he were a bit cockier...

@MTLIST: very nice. The "Koivu is of taking french lessons" line was killer!

panger76 said...

@FC: I love Halak's rants!

HabsFan29 said...

Panger FC is in fact good ol' fezworth, i fixed it. brilliantly done!

fezworth said...

Cheers panger, I love writing them! I think if I ever met Jaroslav Halak, I would be bitterly disappointed to learn that he is a modest, thoughtful and charming young man, who always has kind words for teammates and coaches alike, and never masturbates. Well actually, I wouldn't care as much about that last part.

Habsfan10 said...

I want Jaro to write my obit. "HF10, he leeve in facking To-rahnto. I het heem, wit hees wife wit full set of teeth and leetle bebe that not ugly, like big ugly Cari. Facking HF10. Jaro more sexy, but haf he wife? No. Coach Carbononi no facking play Jaro and he not get chances to show sexy saving of puck. HF10 dead now. Jaro no care."

panger76 said...

"HF10 dead now. Jaro no care."

I now have coke and snot all over my computer...

HabsFan29 said...

i think we should just have all-Jaro day on FHF

bob said...

I sure could handle a Jaro post more frequently.

Good job boys

HabsFan29 said...

Pants indeed, Jeff in HK, pants indeed

fezworth said...

Jeff in HK makes my brain bleed. In a good way.

Sonia said...

@Jeff: urok!

fezworth said...

Go Pants.

Bryan said...

ah jeff, that made my day. not necessarily because it was any good.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Between periods with the Broons and I've finally stopped imagining how many different ways Mark Bell can be ass raped in prison, so I just thought I'd pop in.

And I gotta say...Jeff. If Hunter S. Thompson had been a hockey fan...and possessed less talent...THAT's what he'd totally read like!

"Pants"!! Awesome. Fuck cubed, indeed.

Rips it, scores! said...

1) The one day I don't check the blog until late and it's reader day! Boourns. Anyway, the contributions by the regular posters were damn good!

2) "You play like squirrel on speed." Bahaha, I like. On the Jaro theme, "I crosh you like littel ant" is now a mainstay of conversations between the better half and I, as well as other Jaro goodness. I'm going to use more Jaro phrases when I go out for pints tomorrow. Drunk Jaro!

Flying Toaster said...

Hmm, i've been thinking, with all the super-insane lack of masturbation-induced Jaro posts, maybe we should get a borderline psychotic calm post from Price?

lawyergirl77 said...

So I'm stuck in fucking discoveries all day and I miss fan day??!! Boooo!!!

S'okay, I don't have anything funny to say today. I think I blew my funny load with the Danse à Dix line back in October!

Excellent work to all!

And flying toaster - that would be PERFECT (re: Price). Someone has to work in the line "Horses. I like horses." (if you didn't go see games in November, you won't get it... but read Panger's recap of the shit game he went to earlier this season and you'll get an idea of what I'm talking about...)

That kid had two career paths: serial killer or goalie. I'm glad he's picked goalie... for now... Then again, it's not like they're two mutually exclusive paths.(See also Roy, Patrick.)

panger76 said...

@LG: really? Goalie or serial killer are the only options?

Flying Toaster said...

Well with his calm you could always hire him as a traffic manager in the middle of the Bronx i guess...