In celebration of the division title (pessimist's note: stop celebrating we haven't fucking won anything yet!), we thought we'd do something a little different today for the game review. Playing the role of optimist, 1998 Emmy Award Winner Panger. In his usual role of pessimist, HF29. So let's break down the Habs performance.
Offense
The Optimist: The Habs are now first in the NHL in goals scored. Last night they relied on their PP for offense again, going 2 for 6. Again AK27 paces the attack with a goal and assist, becoming the first 35 goal scorer for the Habs since Pierre Turgeon and Vinny Damphouse back in ’95-’96. El Dandy scores, well, a dandy goal: top shelf on Gerber after some good hustle from Guimauve and Mad Max. Big Tits adds the knock-out punch in the third when he had time and space usually only found on the Praries to bury a shot behind Gerber Baby. Little Tits wasn’t completely out of place between Higgins and Ryder, and the fourth line added some grit and energy. Koivu who?
The Pessimist: How many fucking open nets can we miss? Pleks was watching babes in the stands when a perfect feed to him ended up behind the net somehow. Little Tits couldn’t win a face-off if he was lining up against J-C Petit. The only thing Little Tits emulated about Koivu was his ability to take penalties in the offensive zone.
Defense
The Optimist: Minus DOOM and Franky B, the D plays pretty damn well: 31 shots and not too many scoring chances for Alfie/Spezza/Heater. Markov even shows his "dark side" by fighting Spezza - who knew Markov had emotions? Despite spending 5 minutes in the sin bin, Markov still managed to lead Habs’ D in icetime, followed closely once again by Josh Gorges. Gorges also flashed some offensive instincts for the first time in Montreal, which is yet another indicator of his increasing confidence. Rhino blocked 5 shots, further lessening the blow of DOOM’s absence. Generously, I’ll admit that Breezer didn’t suck.
The Pessimist: Sens had about 7 shots through 30 minutes – they finished with 32. Yikes, that’ll tell you what you need to know about the D in the second half of the game. They totally left TFS(tm) to the wolves. Speaking of…
Goaltending
The Optimist: Carey Price is TFS. Calm and collected all game, even with Chris Neil’s ass in his face - even gave him a nice cross-check in the back and then flipped the back of his helmet. Set up El Dandy’s goal with some great stickwork behind the net. And finished it off in style with a glove-ly save with a second remaining. Jesus Saves, Carey stops the rebound.
The Pessimist: That glove-ly save was an embarrassment for a 20-year old rookie. Arrogant prick.
Overall
The Optimist: Plan the Parade.
The Pessimist: The sky is falling.
Offense
The Optimist: The Habs are now first in the NHL in goals scored. Last night they relied on their PP for offense again, going 2 for 6. Again AK27 paces the attack with a goal and assist, becoming the first 35 goal scorer for the Habs since Pierre Turgeon and Vinny Damphouse back in ’95-’96. El Dandy scores, well, a dandy goal: top shelf on Gerber after some good hustle from Guimauve and Mad Max. Big Tits adds the knock-out punch in the third when he had time and space usually only found on the Praries to bury a shot behind Gerber Baby. Little Tits wasn’t completely out of place between Higgins and Ryder, and the fourth line added some grit and energy. Koivu who?
The Pessimist: How many fucking open nets can we miss? Pleks was watching babes in the stands when a perfect feed to him ended up behind the net somehow. Little Tits couldn’t win a face-off if he was lining up against J-C Petit. The only thing Little Tits emulated about Koivu was his ability to take penalties in the offensive zone.
Defense
The Optimist: Minus DOOM and Franky B, the D plays pretty damn well: 31 shots and not too many scoring chances for Alfie/Spezza/Heater. Markov even shows his "dark side" by fighting Spezza - who knew Markov had emotions? Despite spending 5 minutes in the sin bin, Markov still managed to lead Habs’ D in icetime, followed closely once again by Josh Gorges. Gorges also flashed some offensive instincts for the first time in Montreal, which is yet another indicator of his increasing confidence. Rhino blocked 5 shots, further lessening the blow of DOOM’s absence. Generously, I’ll admit that Breezer didn’t suck.
The Pessimist: Sens had about 7 shots through 30 minutes – they finished with 32. Yikes, that’ll tell you what you need to know about the D in the second half of the game. They totally left TFS(tm) to the wolves. Speaking of…
Goaltending
The Optimist: Carey Price is TFS. Calm and collected all game, even with Chris Neil’s ass in his face - even gave him a nice cross-check in the back and then flipped the back of his helmet. Set up El Dandy’s goal with some great stickwork behind the net. And finished it off in style with a glove-ly save with a second remaining. Jesus Saves, Carey stops the rebound.
The Pessimist: That glove-ly save was an embarrassment for a 20-year old rookie. Arrogant prick.
Overall
The Optimist: Plan the Parade.
The Pessimist: The sky is falling.
14 comments:
Switching roles for a sec, I just want to say how well I thought the fourth line did last night. Slowinski was the hero of the game. I'm serious! I thought he played his best game as a Hab. and Bégin was back to the role he played before all his injuries set in. Will be key in the playoffs for him to play that way
I can't belive you called TFS an arrogant prick. Just because he knows he's better than them doesn't make him arrogant, it's a fact!
Panger, the fact that you're the optimist in this twisted little charade officially scares the BEJEEBUS outta me. ;-)
Great recap, guys!
@LG - thx!
and we really don't have any optimists among the FHF. Panger was acting. he was an emmy award winner for a reason!
Did PG really win an Emmy ?
HF29, you're a jerk.
If TFS is an arrogant prick, what does that say about Babs sending CHuet packing and giving the should-be-a-Calder trophy-candidate the #1 spot?
Also, thank God ronald corey is disappeared.
~ moeman
@Montrealist1: no, sadly I did not. And HF29's not a jerk, he just doesn't have the unconditional love of all Montreal goalies that I do!
Hey I'm the one with a Habs golie number in his name
sorry Panger, i was mistaken. it was a Golden Globe
"who knew Markov had emotions?"
One of my all-time favorite deliveries of the year on the FHF. Bravo, 29.
@4 - i cannot take credit for another man's work, that was Panger's line. he thanks you.
Overheard: random but vaguely fitting lyrics:
I'm conceited, I got a reason.
and
"Now who's that peeking in my window?
Nobody coz I live in a penthouse."
C.G.
In Jesus Price we trust. To Josh Gorgeous-Gorges: I'm sorry I said you were the second coming of the Pilon in front of my friends. And I totally agree with HF4. I loved that line so much, i actually lol-ed a little.
Anto
@29: admit it, you like it more that he's a lawyer! I'm the goalie here!
@anaonymous: "Jesus Price" - nice, I like it.
...and I keep the Golden Globe in my den.
good point Panger you got me. and he went to OUR law school!
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