Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Sexy Cops Worked Last Time - Sens Game Preview and Open Thread


Just like the Habs, FHF has run into injury problems. While HF29 is out with general body soreness thanks to the "resisting arrest" with the lovely lady pictured above, Panger takes over the game preview and open thread. Enjoy!

Waiting in Line details: 7:30 pm start, CJAD radio, RDS/RDSHD at the ScotiaBank Centre in lovely Kanata, Ontario. I have to admit I reluctantly lived in Ottawa for a season and supported the Sens in their early 'Laurie Boschman' days, back when the Corel Centre's only neighbours were grazing cows. Unfortunately the big box plague has stuckour nation's captial region and today the only grass outside the ScotiaBank Centre is being smoked by Ray Emery.

Pay your cover charge to: as always, Five for Smiting is one of the best and funniest blogs we know. Let's hope his consistent top quality performances continue to be the mirror image of his team's second half effort. Mirror image, as in opposite.

Appearing on the main stage tonight: Captain K rests his broken foot, Franky B. rests his sore foot, Komo aka DOOM nurses his sore hip - and let's hope that the Habs leave the shot-blocking to Mr. Price, as he gets the start this evening. Swiss Mister and The Tendernesse return to the lineup, with Little Tits taking Captain K's place at centre on the second line between Higgins and Ryder. 2 goals and you're My Boy, Sergei!

Hot Habs to Watch: According to independent sources, pretty much everyone important but Halak is hot. Obviously they didn't watch the Leafs game. Special mention has to go to Josh Georges: essentially a throw-in as part of last year's Craig Rivet trade, he's gone from benchwarmer to top-pairing this season, and has logged over 25 minute of ice time since Komo's injury. Plus his last name messes with speakers of both official languages, so that's a bonus.

Who knew we'd long for the Adams Division days of the Whalers and Nordiques? As a team, the Canadiens can clinch the Northeast Division title for the first time EVER with at least a point tonight. The last division win was in the Adams Division circa 1991-92 - the year before the Senators were reincarnated. Ah, if only the Habs still had the Whalers and Nordiques to kick around every year....

Skanky Habs to Watch: I don't care what "attributes" he allegedly brings to the team, Breezer owns this category on my watch. Skankier than a two dollar Thai hooker.

Collectively, the Habs looked thoroughly disinterested against the Leafs. Must have been distracted by the though of T.O.'s "nightlife" after the game. Sure...anyway, they're much less to do in Ottawa, so I'm sure the Habs will be highly motivated tonight. Unless they hang out with Ray before the game, then they'll just be hungry.

Sexy Sens to Watch: Fucking Spezza, Alfie and Heater own the Habs no matter how they are otherwise playing. There are approaching a combined 107 goals and 218 assists against the Canadiens this year. Or at least it feels like it. Fuckers. Plus, Heater is looking for goal number 40 tonight. TFS may have to steal another one.

Skanky Sens to Watch: Ottawa has lost their last two, the more recent via shutout to Boston. Boston?? Come on Sens, sometimes I think you want to lose. (Just not against the Habs.)

Post-game entertainment: since Calgary strip clubs suck (plus I'm a degenerate) there will be no clever "do something besides see naked ladies" rhetoric in this edition of the Game Preview. Let's give The NuDen - "Ottawa's largest gentleman's club" - a try. Hey, they support local charities so really our attendance is making this world a better place.

Drunk? High? Like Strippers? Let's hear your game comments in the open thread, my fellow degenerates.

81 comments:

HabsFan29 said...

i have recovered long enough to say well done Panger. strippers and charity - awesome.

Anonymous said...

Pathetically, I'm bumping my own post up to this latest one, to get attention and be popular like people on american dildo or whatever the fuck that show is.

But I also know you guys like my moronic rambling and Something's Kinda Wrong With That Guy posts.

Nice link in the previous post on 'Pens lose to Rangers'...and... it's a naked hot chick! What a fuckin surprise, you lovable imbeciles.

Did Pens really lose by the way? Fuck, we could do first conference, if we had any players left.

Get some billable hours in boys and girls, playoffs coming.

You know that shit case that's a real pain in the ass? It's been going on and on? Tell the client to FUCK OFF AND DIE. Now. Do it on the mobile phone. Do it. Call them at 3 AM. Yell alot. Cry too, tell them you love them. Just make a big shitty mess of it. Crap the bed.

We get the same shit as architects and I'm clearin the old in basket fast boys. If the boss notices some pissed off clients next week, which he won't, I'll blame it on you guys. Fuckin smart strategy eh boys, yep I'm a quick one. Fuck I'm dumb. Shit.

Gotta go, getting married (I'm not kidding, for real) at 9:30 Am at the uh, lawyers, and it's 1:40 AM in HK now.

Gonna miss the damn game, but I'm gonna be golfing when the baby comes in 3 months, I swear it. It'll be legendary.

Cheers boys and girls

3 Wood

Jeff

hockeyzombie said...

Who gets married at 9:30pm?

Go Habs!

HabsFan29 said...

i think it was 930 am (which is in fact 930 PM EST), but whatever it is, we all know Jeff in Hong Kong plays by his own rules

Anonymous said...

http://puckstopshere.blogspot.com/2008/03/can-montreal-win-east.html

apparently Montreal is just "not that good a team" with "not enough good players" (comment number 12 or so).

HabsFan29 said...

thx for the tip anonymous. but i dont trust bloggers or commentors. a bunch of f-ing idiots, the lot of em

alright let's do this thing! anyone here? the beverages have been poured, im raring to go!

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Bloody hell, I'm so nervous I'm actually nauseous...

Oh...and thanks for the kind words Panger!

panger76 said...

@SLC you deserve it

OK where is everyone? I even stuck out of work early and evrything. It's not evry day that Montreal can clich it's first ever Northeast Diviosion championship. I wonder if they'll raise a banner..oh wait...

HabsFan29 said...

SLC you're nervous? we've got a pynlon lining up as our 3rd D-man.

no wait, that's just Breezer

Carbo on the pre-game - "we've gpot options at center. i can use Kovy, maybe Higgins. we'll see what we can come up with"

kill me

HabsFan29 said...

*pylon. fuck, it was a good line

Senators Lost Cojones said...

@29: I wouldn't trust bloggers either. Rat faced little...

@Panger: Are you actually going to get to see this one, or will you be forced to try and figure out what's going on by my vowel deprived but exclamation rich rantings?

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Okay...fearless prognostication:

Sens 6
Habs 4
Heart attacks: 2
Over/under on destroyed keyboards: 3

panger76 said...

@29: it was still a killer line

@SLC: I do get to see this one live, but unfortnately I am wireless-internet deprived, so I'll see you guys a little later.

Habs 4
Ott 3(OT)

And I'll take the 'over' on heart attacks.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

GO HARTOLINA WHALEICANES!!

God, I feel SO dirty. And moist. But mostly dirty.

HabsFan29 said...

over / under on HF29 alcohol units consumed - 38. of course, im at 36 already, so take the over everyone

HabsFan29 said...

1-0 Caps. deep breaths SLC

Senators Lost Cojones said...

In that case, 29, I will apologize in advance for any inadvertent slights/insults/gratuitous violence.

Let's do this thing!

HabsFan29 said...

apology in advance accepted. and i apologise in advance for any miscontruings (misconstructions?) of commenter grammar

ooh, Blue Jays - Yankees on TSN! with Rod Black calling the game! sorry everyone, i'll be watching that instead

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Um...a little early for the OLE song, ain't it??

HabsFan29 said...

that Ole thing is becoming (is) an embarassment

HabsFan29 said...

oh god not the penalties again...

Senators Lost Cojones said...

I don't mind it so much, really. Makes me think of Euro soccer mobs. Just not three minutes into the game...and in OUR building. There's the real embarrassment for you.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

They're not booing...they're saying SHOOT THE FUCKING PUCK IDIOT!!

I'm lobbying the league to allow us to decline penalties next year.

HabsFan29 said...

i would make a joke about counting to 5, but i think the Habs have had like 3 of those penalties in the last couople of games

Senators Lost Cojones said...

5-on-3....kill me now.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Fuckin' Gerber, flopping around like a dead fucking trout...FUCK!

HabsFan29 said...

took f-ing long enough. that was some good killing for a while

HabsFan29 said...

OMFG Breeezer made a nice defensive play on the rushing Heater!

HabsFan29 said...

not much 5 on 5 hockey in this game

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Yep. We'll have the best PK out of all 14 teams that don't make the playoffs...

HabsFan29 said...

hope SLC, Whalercanes cut the Caps lead in half

oh god Hamr hurt

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Did I mention that Redden is unrestricted this summer? July can't get here fast enough.

Anonymous said...

Murray Wilson sucks. Worst colour commentary guy ever. Makes Greg Millen looks like a genius.

-C

HabsFan29 said...

not quite Ali-Frazier...

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Yikes. Good on ya, Spezz! But...um...yikes. That's all I got.

Rips it, scores! said...

Breezer's going to be our only defenceman left for the playoffs, isn't he? :-/

Good Lord.


Oh, and go hockey.

HabsFan29 said...

alright not a bad period. i may hold off the usual intermission meth hit.. for now

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Hello? Is this thing on?

8:25pm...Blogger Comments goes into the crapper. You can set your watch by it.

CheGordito said...

You know, Montreal looks pretty decent (and I type this touching wood).

By the way, if the Sens tie the score I'm gonna start rhyming.

Bryan said...

speaking of calgary stip clubs, i went to my first one on saturday -- the french maid or whatever it is down by chinook. it was kinda 'meh' but at least it was clean n what not.

HabsFan29 said...

@SLC - Blogger GRRRRRRR. HOMER SMASH. my failure was 15 minutes ago. it's gonna kill me in the playoffs

@Bryan - if we wver play in Calgary again in my life time we'll feature it in the preview

HabsFan29 said...

Shit yeah!

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Oh for the love of...STAND UP!! STAND UP FUCKSTICK!!

GAWD!

Rips it, scores! said...

Fear le Dandy, the Sens slayer.

HabsFan29 said...

this game is settling in to... something. i dont know what

Bryan said...

dunno why you guys always trash our depth. i really think we should use dandy in the playoffs. also, i want to make love to brisebois. one of those statements is true.

panger76 said...

@Bryan: I remain unconvinced, but I'm willing to give it a go.

@29: I'm telling Mrs. Panger that you told me I had to go - for the blog.

I can't wait to see how MTL is going to blow this lead.

HabsFan29 said...

I'm not gonna be the cause of the wrath of Mrs Panger

and I agree, this will be a ver interesting lead blowing

Anonymous said...

Dandenault performed well in the playoffs for Detroit - of course, he was playing defense and not forward at the time.

CheGordito said...

Wow! I always wondered if NHL games were closer to the WWE( formerly WWF) than they pretended. That last penalty makes me think they're no so different..

fezworth said...

@panger: would that work? 'for the blog'?

Senators Lost Cojones said...

It's about goddamned time we start playing pissed-off. And by that, I mean, since...December.

panger76 said...

@fezworth: It's worth a try!!

Senators Lost Cojones said...

I get confused. Was that Big or Little Tits trying to get himself killed?

HabsFan29 said...

chippy hockey. i like it.

HabsFan29 said...

well we were sort of dominated the last half. where's my meth?

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Well...it's not a six goal lead...so I'm cautiously optimistic. And possibly drunk.

CheGordito said...

Pleks has looked slightly out of sorts all night, and him not scoring that goal makes me wonder...

HabsFan29 said...

agree Che, that miss scared me

ok 20 minutes to hell

HabsFan29 said...

ANOTHER yawning net we couldn't get to

Senators Lost Cojones said...

I'm just spitballing here...but there is a chance this could be a first round matchup. A lot of things have to happen to make that real...but wouldn't that be FUN!!

HabsFan29 said...

ah, the "holding on for dear life" part of the collapse...

SLC i was thinking earlier of the same thing!!! a 1-8 or a 2-7 are VERY possible now. god, just kill me in advance will you?

HabsFan29 said...

you know, god forbid we hold on, I admit slowinski is the unsung hero of this game

Senators Lost Cojones said...

And that's the ballgame kids. This one's over.

HabsFan29 said...

thanks SLC. just like when you popped in Saturday to congratulate us on our division title we still haven't won. PLENTY of collapse time yet

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Caps win. Perfect. Just fucking perfect.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

HF29: You were saying?

HabsFan29 said...

!!


the way TFS is playing, THAT could be it... I repeat, COULD

HabsFan29 said...

see? still plenty of time to take stupid penalties in the offensive zone. grrrr

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Aaaaaand...we're done. I'm done. G'night kids!

God I hate this game sometimes...

HabsFan29 said...

thanks SLC. even i feel ok now. see you in the first round!

HabsFan29 said...

very loud goodbye song!

fezworth said...

This is mindblowing. Awesome.

HabsFan29 said...

K there is still a minute or so left, but I feel comfortable in writing for the first time:

Montreal Canadiens, Northeast Division Champions 2007-08

my god. I know i bitch and say Habs suck (they do) but that's quite something

what a glove save! AND the shutout!

fezworth said...

29, that looks so pretty, when you write it. So pretty, I want to do it too.

Montreal Canadiens, Northeast Division Champions 2007-08

Ohh, Mufasa!

HabsFan29 said...

check the Habs Record in the sidebar! woooooo!!!

HabsFan4 said...

Whenever we look back on this season and ask how they did it, look no further than this: 12 losses in regulation on the road. 12. If this young team had solid enough nerves to play well before their home crowd, it would have been a rout.

Bryan said...

Montreal Canadiens, Northeast Division Champions 2007-08

sexy cops for the playoffs !

CheGordito said...

I couldn't resist:

Niel's a blimp,
Spezza a mole.
Ottawa's limp
can't score a goal.

HabsFan4 said...

Funny, I'm sure Panger and I will agree that we are not going to flaunt the northeast champs thing. this is montreal, you're only champs when you're Champs. Until then, you're first in the division, first in the Conference. Leave the Champs designations to the Thrashers or Preds. Also, no dates unless the words Stanley Cup figure somewhere in the sentence.

Anonymous said...

I love french fries and Habs beating up Sens. I also kept it real tonight by getting drunk at a strip club while charitably donating my hard earned money. I hope I qualify for this my first post. Drum roll me please to build anticipation for my enlightened comment. Ready? Here we go: Sens suck, Spezza swallows.
Anto wants you all to think on this for a while.