Tuesday, April 19, 2011

It's All. My. Fault. - Bs 4 - Habs 2 (Game 3 review)

GG11 is coming back from her Passover-induced purgatory in Leafland, so she's unavailable for Photoshop today... so you get whatever I can find with my Google-fu search of "Habs" and "good luck"
I'll just come right out and say it.

Yesterday's loss was all my fault.

Much like the team, I had gotten cocky and loose.  We had collectively lost the underdog edge that seems to be the source of this team's power. I thought this thing was in the bag. I thought we were in the Bs' heads, and that they wouldn't be able to win a game at the Bell Centre. Not with this cool, calm, collected, "all business" Habs team that said all the right things after game 2.

And so, I let go of all of the pregame superstitions. Not only did I let go of my innate pessimism and dared to dream about not only a series win but a friggin' sweep, I didn't wear my lucky jeans, jewelry, Koivu t-shirt, I didn't listen to the song stylings of Michel Como in the car on the way to work, I didn't switch seats with Mr. LG77, but, worst of all, I didn't pick up a towel on my way into the Bell Centre to wave like a born-again zealot... and I didn't turn around to go back and get one when I realized my mistake.

I failed you, Habs fans.

The good news is that we all seemed to have made similar mistakes in our cockiness.  The response to my question on twitter and in the TMS comment thread was seriously overwhelming, but I have to post them all because they're hilarious.  So here, for your pleasure, are the responses I got (in order of when I got them):

From twitter:

@alour: Forgot to put our flags up in our Habs room; wrong clothing (Both goals scored after changes); My Leafs fan fiance started rooting for Habs this game. Definitely altering world axis and pissing off hockey gods.

@kylemlambert: Started actually thinking sweep. I should have known better with this bunch - they lack the "let's make this easy" gene

@metricjulie: "It's my fault... I didn't drink... I was sober... only water... I'M SO SORRY!"

@doogie2k: My only break from routine was watching the game at 6 instead of 8 or later as I had Games 1 and 2. In my defence, I did this because I am now at the asscrack of dawn (5:30!) for an exam

@mbouf: I totally wore my jersey and hat again like first 2 games... But put the ensemble on much closer to puck drop than last 2.

@RiRi2514: Well, let's see... Oh, yeah, I wasn't wearing my hair the same was as Saturday/Thursday. Yup, that's gotta be it :(

@touteparpillee: I kept myself away from twitter. All day.

@number31: Habs started scoring when I turned on my Restaurant City and couldn't shut it down. Could say Bruins got served? *cassé*

@theactivestick sent me a list. 'Cause that's what she does:
1. My jersey has a good regular season record, but a terrible playoff record (0-fer). I wore it anyway, because...
2-My Markov shirt, which is so far almost undefeated, was washed but not dried when I left the house this morning.
3-I have seen the Habs win playoff games on the road, but never at home. 3 years in a row, I go to game 3 at the Bell and they lost.
4-It was Monday (let's just throw that in there, I'm sure it's a reason).
5-I saw dudes show up to the game with brooms.

My friend Alan: I think I pissed off the real God last night by checking the score on the iPhone hidden in my pocket while in the bathroom during seder.

My friend Fred (y'all know him as Jemmer): I didn't get to watch the game because I WAS A GOOD PERSON AND WENT TO REHEARSAL UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW.  (*cough* What?)

And last, but certainly not least, from the commentariat and fellow bloggers in this morning's TMS:

moeman: I didn't drink enough (Me neither, my friend, but I wasn't going to add insult to injury and put a second mortgage on my house in order to afford a Bell Centre beverage)

soperman: I did not wear my Patrick Roy jersey or have my lucky Habs poker chip in my pocket. Plus, I was trying the watch the game on the computer and make sure my Broon-fan students weren't trying to cheat off my hard-working Habs-fan students.

Kmaxx: For Games 1 & 2 I was on a family break in, as you guys like to call it - "The Land of 54mbs" (or something like that) so I had only a very limited amout of time in which I could join in on the discussions. I followed the results through the comments by commenting on the Open Thread before each game. I asked only for a compentent performance and added GYMFCHG! Then I left it. And both times the Habs won!

Last night I put my obligatory request for competence but then added to it with several follow up comments. I should have just STFU and left well enough alone. I watched the first period on the RDS
stream (which was excellent btw!) and then called it a night as I knew that I had jinxed the whole fuckin' thing. It was my fault - I'm sorry - it won't happen again! (I hope!) Forgive me please!

Alexandra: When the camera was on Muller, I did not put the game on pause, strip off my clothing and dance for him. This, LG, is why we lost. (This one cracked me up - you and me both, Alexandra...)

Mr. natural: Couple of things, first I drank too much. Second changed my wardrobe for the third period so you know I'm sticking with that get up on Thursday.

Steve:  did not select an official Club de Montreal puck bunny. I did not wear my new official Club de Montreal TITS T shirt. I wondered why the kid with the torch wore a helmet and cage, was it really a kid or just a little man?
I lost faith after the first goal, and did not have the strength to comment. I did not celebrate TITS fantastic goal enough. I did not believe they could come back.

MaxPac is Wolverine: It's my fault. As soon as Jean Beliveau stepped out carrying the torch, although I was thrilled to see him, I said outloud that Habs' brass was setting the team up for failure by hyping the game up so much. It should've been ALL BUSINESS.
The Hockey Gods' reaction was immediate.

Moey: Was soooo tempted to put on my Chara sucks tee but just couldn't be arsed. So the loss is totally my fault. *sigh*

Hadulf: I wore my red canadiens pyjama t-shirt full of holes, that I never wear on game days...guilty...and I apologize.

Mr. West Island: I played Annakin Slayd's new song and then 'Feels like '93' just before the game in order to teach her a little about Canadiens histpry and explained to her the Habs were a family tradition. My bad.

Not Geoff Molson: I was at work and checked the score on The Score too early. I checked it in the first, compared to Thursday when I didn't check it until the late second. Sorry folks.
Bill 10-4: posted GYFHG!! twice instead of once. Did not enjoy my morning cup of java from my habs Jocelyn Thibeault chipped coffee mug. so sorry, please forgive

Grrrreg: I didn't want to start wearing my habs shirts just yet, because I thought times were not desperate enough for this. I wanted to save them for more delicate situations. I'm rocking my Dryden shirt on thursday for sure.
LeDouze: Mea culpa - I made fun of a sunny LG77 post. (Hell no - that one's on me for writing that shit to begin with)

orangeman: I shaved off my beard. It was never meant to be a playoff beard, but apparently I screwed over the Habs with my selfish shaving. I apologize and it won't happen again.

And, finally, HF29: I only did five hits of meth instead of my usual six. I'll correct for Thursday.

There really is only one conclusion from all of this. To quote Hadulf: "We are a weird bunch sometimes..." Word, my friend.  But, it's the playoffs. How else do you explain the conspicuous absence of help from the goal posts and, frankly, cashing in on lucky bounces that was absent for Game 3 but that saved our team's bacon repeatedly during Game 1 and 2?

The inescapable conclusion is that the weird is the only thing that placates the hockey gods.

Clearly, we all failed last night, at least for the first 30 minutes. Let this be a lesson to us all for Thursday night.  I will attempt to regain my foothold on the path of the righteous by saying the following...

... I told you on the Pantscast it would be Boston in 6.** ;)

(** note, am only saying this in order to keep superstitions alive. If the Habs build on their most excellent 3rd period last night, I think game 4 is ours. But, I may nor may not mean it. Maybe. Possibly. Gah, I don't know anymore. *drink*)


Unknown said...

Things I would love to see:

a well-cut video of everyone doing their superstitions on thursday.

So far my Thomas and Chara jerseys are let-downs but Bergeron reigns supreme.

lawyergirl77 said...

@cornelius - may a million moths swoop down from the heavens to destroy your Bergeron jersey.

(that video would be hilarious. Sadly, I have zero skillz in that department)

Steve said...

Hi Cornelius Hardenbergh you should probably burn that Chara jersey, Herpes Simplex xxx knows no metaphysical boundaries.

That Aslin is brilliant.

On Thursday everybody at the Bell Center should wave a biz card instead of a towel.

Unknown said...


it would be great. Legions of habs fans in various jerseys, rolling up their sleeves just so. Re-washing a twice-cleaned towel. Eating with their left hands. Driving all the way out to nowhere, Quebec to go back to THAT liquor store to buy THAT beer.

One habs fan I know thought the habs did better when he was shoveling snow. I wouldn't put it past him to scrape out his freezer or buy a snowmaker if he thought it would be the difference.

Unknown said...


The Chara jersey is safely in a heap on the floor, like it should be.

HF29 aka HH29 said...

Plenty of blame to go around. But I put it all on the any pre-game ceremonies (not that I saw them, I was praying at the time as you know by now). But really, just drop the fucking puck. those ceremonies kill us all the time

HF29 aka HH29 said...

actually I REALLY Blame those assholes theactivestick saw with the brooms. I think we can all agree THEY are the ones to blame

Unknown said...

That is the LAST time I be a good boy and go to rehearsal. To make up for it, I'm going to the fucking game on Thursday to watch them lose (hoping they spite me like they did the first 2 games, 'cause I also said Bruins in 6)!!!

Bring it!

Unknown said...

I also accept the blame for daring to think about bringing a broom to game 4.

I should be dragged out into the street and shot... ...right after being drawn and quartered... ...and being slapped repeatedly with heavy mining equipment*

(* some of this borrowed from the immortal George Carlin - the man was savage!)

Habsfan10 said...

Fucking hell, you people! It's all of your faults. I missed puck drop for games one and two but made it to the couch for puck drop last night ... although my timing was identical to the previous two games so I agree with 29. It was the pregame ceremony's fault too.

@ Cornelius: Bergeron is the Bruin that terrifies me most. I hope your jersey meets a horrible end before Thursday.

Unknown said...


You've seen Chara naked and bergeron scares you more? Hot damn.

Bergeron is pretty awesome, though...can't blame ya.

Oh, and for extra annoyance...the Bergeron is one of the current bruins' thirds

p.gagnon17 said...

I lay the blame on one of my friends who was at the Cage with me. Just as the game was starting, he started to sing Na-na-na-na goodbye.

We shut him up as soon as possible, but the damage was done.

So him and the morons with the brooms.

Orangeman said...

Well, I've got the ultimate good luck charm on the way today! A little niece/nephew!

Orangeman said...

I'm also going to my first seder tonight (I've re-connected with the Jewish side of my family to cover all of my bases). God, Allah, Buddha, I LOVE YOU ALL!

Habsfan10 said...

@ Cornelius

I've seen Chara naked? Whodidwhatnow? I mean, I've been to the Metro Toronto Zoo and seen his relatives, and I guess they were naked, but nope, never seen Zdeno in the altogether. You must have me confused with Dr. Recchi. He sees Big Z naked for physicals and psych evals all the time.

At least the new Bruins thirds are an improvement on the severed Yogi the bear heads from last decade, so you've got that going for you. Still waiting for Boston to truly represent by introducing a jersey with a big yellow streak down the back.

Steve said...

Hi Cornelius Hardenbergh

Marchmand, Chara and Preztel Lucic can all be seen as extras in this movie. starring Golden Girl.

Public Domain said...

I agree with 29 too - the brooms make all the other collective hubri quite minor

Is it reasonable to expect the marketing machine would NOT have some kind of ceremony bullshit before game 1(at home) of the playoffs?

soperman said...

A tragedy of errors. How could so many veteran fans make so many rookie mistakes?

Thursday will be different.

Unknown said...

Seeing Chara naked...

I almost lost my lunch at the thought.

Steve said...

Breaking but obvious news, on thurs its no Chicken tonite. So CHalpern or SM2 will get the call, I would go with SM2.

Chester said...

I promise to wear my '93 shirt, take my usual pre-game fone call and stick to Belgian. I fucked up last game and I apologize, it won't happen again.

moeman said...

I just started drinking for tomorrow night's game.

Kate said...

@ Jemmer,

Me too. And I'm a girl.

HF29 aka HH29 said...

wow moe that's gonna be a hell of a drink on given the game is only the day after tomorrow

i, however, have been taking my meth in full knowledge of the schedule

moeman said...

Thx for saving my liver 29, I will pace accordingly and hit the bottles harder, later. GYFHG!

moeman said...

So good;


Steve said...

I am new to this blog, and I love it. However there are a couple of things that seem fundamental about it that trouble me. I am uncomfortable with all the Jews and Meth. Totally kidding about the Jews, IMHO if you are a Christian, your worshiping a knockoff. But seriously, I have not tried meth, one time decades ago I did smoke crack, it was a high, but a place that gave me vertigo.
Meth, oxycotin, and cociane give recreational drug use a bad name. Thats all, I will never mention it again.

Mr. natural said...

Though drinking as I type I do intend to stop and start several times before the puck drops Thursday.

Already short 1 gall bladder and they've been telling me for 10 years take better care of my liver.

I'll just get a new one off ebay.

Here is a clip of the Broonz, even shows them playing a little shinny at the beginning.


Well despite the outcome my confidence level is actually the highest it's been since the series started, they are done.

Mrs. n almost washed the pants I switched to in the third period, sometimes I don't understand that woman, I don't even want her to wash the jersey I took off and will not be wearing until Lord Stanley's cup has been awarded.

Gotta go.


Plz Plz Plz Rangers come back and PHuck the PHucktards.

Broonz, they can all be special guset commentators on HNIC once thy are eliminated, they should feel all fuzzy and warm working with their ilk.

moeman said...

Steve has 3 livers. 2 are 4 sale.

Steve said...

@moeman, technically my liver is swollen to the size of 3 normal ones, I have an upcomming special on the discovery channel highlighting how herbal magic defies conventional wisdom.

moeman said...

Wow Steve, that is one awesome filter. BTW, didn't harper sell herbal magic before becoming the minority schmuck he is? Maybe it was Bibles.

Steve said...

@Moeman, actually I have never had a job, I went straight from a right wing wacko lobby group to working in public service. I do have a degree in Economics from Liberty University, and I totally agree, sell everything before the apocalypse. Thats why IMHO its fine to fuck up everybody in every way before they get left behind.

moeman said...

The apocalypse is May 2nd!

Mr. natural said...

Not sure if I want a liver from this Steve character, he seems a little iffy NTTAWWT.

Anyway Steve how much for a section say 1/3 of your liver?

Ya can't have to many is my motto (also Mickey Mantle's and Larry Hagman's, but I digress)...


And where are we with Steve's intervention at Hurley's? Has anyone booked the strippers yet? I'm looking at you moeman!

p.gagnon17 said...

@ Mr. Natural

The Rangers will have to get through the Caps for a shot at phucking the phucktards...

moeman said...

Mr. n., I am in Gatineau and methinks there are no strippers at Hurley's, except 29 who is known to shed his ovenmitts at the sight of very good scotCH and/or CBC's Kristen.

moeman said...

Winter storm watch! Fucking Canadian weather. Steve, put a stop to it!

Steve said...

I typed in a brilliant war story about the time I allegedly kicked out the two story window that was revealing the hockey stick escalators at the old Montreal forum. It was 1878 and four buds from Ontario had a taste their first taste of Brador, with some Acid and strippers thrown in.

I have looked at the Bell Center and I am pretty sure there is nothing I could damage there.

Steve said...

@Moeman, thats commie global warming weather, and if I get a majority, I will stop it with a tax credit as soon as the deficit is payed off. I will also make Montreal taxi drivers use a signal or drive in the assigned lane.

moeman said...

Steve, the Belle Centre concourse needs damaging. Fucking cheapass Ronald Corey made them too narrow. fix them with your powers ... and make beer cheaper if only for lg's visits.

Steve said...

My 8:08 comment has some weakness, first I did type in a full story and google ID decided it needed a fix, and secondly is was 1978. In those days I ran way faster than a half dozen donut cops.

moeman said...

Steve, please get that deficit paid off (not too difficult just stop all slush funds to tony soprano clement's ridings) and make sure the leaf never win a Cup.

Steve said...

I also mentioned in the original post I was going to a David Bowie concert, so Acid was required, not some kind of delinquent behavior.

Steve said...

@Moeman, if I stop advertising non stop, cancel the aircraft carrier, dont poll every hour, and recognize that oil companies can probably make a profit without subsidization, the deficit will be eliminated in 2011. The debt on the other hand is still looking at 2145.

moeman said...

Steve, I noticed you avoided promising no Cup ever for your leaf. Hidden clauses?

Steve said...

@Moeman ahhh the hidden agenda comes out, Leaf victory, with every player playing not having been aborted at birth.

moeman said...

Steve, I agree tie domi is the ugliest fuck ever born/dropped/feted but WTF! is wrong with beautiful B.C.?


Number31 said...

Meh. I'm cool with the loss except for the fact the series is now 2-1 but whatever. Once they removed their heads from their arses they played fairly competently. Was rather happy with the effort and how they played in the 2nd half. A little less brainfarty and they'll be ok.

Steve said...

weed card commie shit how the fuck can legitimate drug pushing corporations, the police, the lawyers, the prisons make money if this weed is made legal by that Castro loving Canadian Commie Trudeau's Orwellian named Charter of Rights. No one gives people the right to be free except me.

Steve said...

@Moeman seriously 43% of people in BC support me, do they know they live in BC? Hey motherfuckers, your not in Alberta yet.

moeman said...

Steve, are you run by the Pigs of Bay Street? Leave women's nether regions alone.

moeman said...

Those 43% need a weed card.

Steve said...

Lysergic Acid Diethylamide

Mr. natural said...

@Patrick: DOH! Sabres!

Acid, you Freaks!

Unlike pot which is a zillion times stronger today, acid is now pussy shit, in the late very early 70's it would PHuck you up.

I'm baked, bonsoir a tous.


Anonymous said...

I guess the silver lining is that nobody can bring brooms to the next game.

Pass the meth.

Number31 said...


sadhabsfan said...

I subjected myself to hnic for 1st two games FTW's.
But the piss poor pp on the too many charas on the ice penalty, followed immediately by the booins scoring first, drove me back to RDS, resulting in 2 more bahston goals, one of them seriously unbarassing to TFS. So I decided to watch the taxpayer funded feed, but with the cold turned off. Low and Behole, Two goals!! Unfortunately the damage had already been done, and the Habs were unable to overcome my lack of consistency. CBC with soundoff for game 4. Honest.