Tuesday, April 26, 2011

On the brink of a horrible, horrible death - Game 6 preview and open thread


Well this could be it. Not to be the Debbie Downer or anything (that's LG's job!), but Habs now face elimination. Sure, we went 5-1 in elimination games last year, but that was then and this is now and now is not then. The guillotine blade could slice tonight. The ax and the sky may be about to fall. The collapse may be upon us. The ice of the Bell Center could be riddled with necrotizing fasciitis. The long march to Bataan is almost over. The road to Baghdad is paved with blood. Etc., etc. Let's break the last taboo with a death-themed blog post. No one said this would be pretty.

Waiting on death row - 7 PM start from the Bell, where the Habs are 0-2 so far this series in case you didn't know. I don't wish death upon anyone, but if every member of the CBC broadcast crew could suffer some sort of accident in the off-season that is non-fatal yet prevents them from returning next year, I would be ok with that.

DIE BRUINS DIE doesn't have quite the same ring to it as DIE PHUCKTARDS DIE for some reason - thanks to CH-Cornelius for pointing us to the moderately amusing Days of Y'Orr.

"Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie, which we ascribe to heaven." (W. Shakespeare) - closest thing we have to heaven so far in the series is Squid with his 7 points. TFS of course as well, who really can't be blamed for much, especially after he really rocked Game 5. For the Bs, Bergeron, Marchand, Thomas and (gulp) Ryder.

"In the cold, cold ground" (T. Waits) - A Mexican CHicken is in the guillotine for a reason. I would say our team defense has been pretty suspect all series. For the Bs, Krejci and Lucic have only one point apiece in the series. Imagine if they had been playing well. That's a total jinx for tonight.

At least it's better than palliative care - Neither DDD nor CHeez Whiz skated this morning so don't expect them in the lineup. Swiss Mister II, save us! Bs pretty healthy.

Losing your head to the guillotine - The Bs have yet to really lose their head so far this series. Credit to Julien I guess? We need them to do something really fucking stupid to get them off their game.

A fate worse than death - Chris Lee is the ref tonight.

Post-game adult entertainment - Linking to a necrophilia site is beyond even me. Linking to a video entitled "Female zombies craving for sperm", however, is right up my alley (nsfw, obvs).

(Hopefully not for the last time) GYFHG!!11!!!!

293 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 293 of 293
Orangeman said...

Nice to see the phlyers keeping up with their goon ways. What do you expect with such a classless captain who had his own dirty hit (again) last game.

Orangeman said...

@Steve: I don't know if that last comment was intentional, but it was awesome. Also, ICE CREAM!

moeman said...

PHucktards know they can get away with anything. Tried watching a minute of the BUF game but mcsplooges cumwad comments were totally disgusting. He's paid by NBC, who owns them and the PHucktards for the next 10 fucking years.

Number31 said...

New shirt on sale at the Bell Centre: Habs survived the second period and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

moeman said...

BUF down 3-0, they usually play really dirty when down, hope they maim a few PHucktards.

Guillaume Theoret said...

All pretense has been dropped. All the CBC guys tonight are saying "we" when talking about the Broons. Don Cherry I get but the random dude talking about the amazing Thomas save from last night says: "That's the only reason we're ahead."

Way to go *C*BC.

Steve said...

@Orangeman, yes intentional or maybe a stopped clock is right twice a day.

What you will not have to pay to read, If Montreal scores no more goals and Boston does as well, Montreal Wins, yeah fuck win Montreal

Orangeman said...

McLame: "The Bruins can breath easy here tonight". I guess he saw the memo from Bettman.

moeman said...

One shift at a time boys.

TFS™!

Orangeman said...

Oh good, my heart did almost return to regular. Thanks guys.

moeman said...

18:19

Young HF29 said...

bob and co creaming themselves over the Bs start

Steve said...

Captian we have the power, engage the system

UK3X said...

one more period of competence...svp!

Young HF29 said...

you know the game is tense when we're 14 comments over ice cream and no one even mentions it

moeman said...

16:31

Steve said...

jebus Price Chocula, nail Gomez to the bench, he no play system, he no play offence, he no play defense, he no play

Flying Pig said...

Palpitations, nausea, the shakes...
This game is fucking killing me.

moeman said...

15:16

Steve said...

I just gotta say, way to go Jaro 2.o

moeman said...

heh, heely says Habs need to cheat at faceoffs.

Young HF29 said...

I need a drink. er, a tenth drink

iRiRi said...

ICE CREAM?! WHO CAN THINK ABOUT ICE CREAM AT A TIME LIKE THIS?! MY SATELITE JUST WENT DOWN!!!

moeman said...

14:02

Anonymous said...

We're gonna win. TFS is playing his heart out too well to let up.

Steve said...

Cowboy up time

Orangeman said...

Anon: SHUP UP! (nothing personal)

Orangeman said...

@29: See my 858pm comment. I never forget ice cream.

UK3X said...

I loved how Gill stepped between PFK and that shit Marchand and said "fuck you you little prick - fuck off and go sit down!" - without even looking at him. Little shit! I love Gill

moeman said...

12:59

Young HF29 said...

@o'man - i stand corrected. double meth in your ice cream

and seriously, shut up anon (nothing personal)

moeman said...

Premature Olé.

kevincrumbs said...

Good shift, Gomer. If he scores, I'll buy a lottery ticket.

@moeman: I never think it's premature. Only the hey hey hey goodbye song can be premature.

moeman said...

Tend to agree kc.

10:59

moeman said...

9:54

moeman said...

STFU! cold!

Steve said...

CHannibis system postive

moeman said...

Habs 23-10 on blocked shots.

Orangeman said...

SHUT UP MOLSON CENTRE CROWD! SHUT UP ANON! EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

/runs out of room flailing arms

moeman said...

Another hnic Bs player package. Sick fucks.

moeman said...

7:45

Kate said...

One more goal boys, it'll suck the life out of the B's.

moeman said...

cold "this looks good!" Fuck you you old fool.

6:20

Kate said...

"Bruins coming so hard." Not as hard as the HNIC motley crew.

kevincrumbs said...

The System never makes anybody feel good or secure.

Young HF29 said...

Cold: "this is some kind of tension in Montreal"

right, cause your Bs are losing

Kate said...

@moe,

tic toc. tic toc. tic toc. It's like Chinese water torture, just let this period be over, my neck is killing me from tension.

Steve said...

Buffalo soldiers, did not know rasta, they were buffalo soldiers in the heart of America

moeman said...

5:02

moeman said...

3:59

moeman said...

bob cold "doesn't think so"

iRiRi said...

ITS BACK!! THIS IS A SIGN!

Orangeman said...

LET IT BLEED

Young HF29 said...

WOW. a call for us at this point

/faints

Steve said...

Props to Gomez, he is playing like a a one million dollar player sometines

kevincrumbs said...

Okay, don't do anything stupid on this PP.

moeman said...

2:59

moeman said...

2:31

moeman said...

T F S ™

Young HF29 said...

yikes

moeman said...

1:49

moeman said...

0:59

Young HF29 said...

"can the bruins get one?" SHUT UP COLD

moeman said...

GAME 7 fuckers!

Anonymous said...

Told you we'd win.

Young HF29 said...

FUCK YEAH

moeman said...

FUCK YOU hnic you sick bruin loving fucks.

iRiRi said...

GAME 7, HERE WE COME, BITCHES!

kevincrumbs said...

Thank you Jesus, Allah, Buddha, etc.

Steve said...

I never lost faith, not for a second.

Yeah Yeah Yeah game 7 fuckers

Orangeman said...

FUCK YES!!!!!

Car horns, women shreiking, men yelling, children laughing. I love downtown Montreal.

bea.habs.fan said...

figured I'd better wait until the end of the game to post.
just in case
wasn't really watching the game either.
and it paid off

hahahha Lucic you pissant - you basically gave us that victory asshole. loved it

Orangeman said...

YEAH ANON! *high five*

Habsfan10 said...

All game long the TSN ticker said "Bruins lead series 4-3". Wishful thinking, assholes?

Orangeman said...

I am literally shaking and dizzy. Might be the tonsilitis, might be my unhealthy devotion to this team. Or a combination thereof.

Kate said...

*neck cracks* *circulation resumes* Sigh.

WV - kingumpo. I have no idea what to do with this but it's interesting.

moeman said...

Please bury these fuckers!

iRiRi said...

Well, that was pleasant. How in the world am I gonna be able to do this again tomorrow night?

GoHawks!

Steve said...

If we win the next game Boston is out, where else can you get this stuff/

the Maritimer said...

Well Cornelius, all the pressure is on your fucking dickhead Bruins now.

Suck it Lucic you fucking shaved orangutan.

Number31 said...

Dead. Seriously. Death by System.

I love Lars Eller because he actually tried to keep the puck away from his own end. And he popped his arm back into his shoulder. Clearly he's Martin Riggs' Danish counterpart.

Rips It, Scores! said...

*sings*

We're going to game 7 (oh!)
Back to the Garden, (oh!)
We're gonna lay a beating, (oh!)
In the city of chowdah and beans.

Steve said...

Fuck me its an ORANGE CRUSH

moeman said...

Q 4 U, at the end of tomorrow's game do you shake the shaved gorilla's hand?

Steve said...

@Moeman

Tough call, can I spit in it first?

I say yes.

Steve said...

I am so buying a lottery ticket for Wed, and to all a very fucking great good night

Number31 said...

Awesome. It's thundering. I said the Hockey Gods would rumble.

Habs didn't let me down, now it's your turn, Hawks. Don't let me down, Chicago! And SHADDUP Ron.

bea.habs.fan said...

AC is now claiming that the win is due to the fact that the OSM was there for the anthems.
something about all 3 times they were there were CH wins
and we think we're weird fans.....

sadhabsfan said...

whew
that's my entire monthly allowance of adrenalin used up in one game.
I truly hope the habs have more gas left in the tank for tomorrow night, cuz I'm drained.
Apparently my winning formula now involves watching only rds, absolutely no switching to hnic between periods, with nothing to eat or drink, and I now have a lucky toothpick.

soperman said...

I can breathe again - thanks to the DVR so I can watch the game in HD and mrs. soperman can record her shows.

So how many games does Loosestick get? Hah! As if!

Mr. natural said...

Peaks and valleys.

Habs do it but PHucktards not eliminated *sigh*

GYMFHG! Die PHucktards Die!

soperman said...

TSN says "Dennis Seidenberg scored for Boston, which played more than half the game without ejected winger Milan Lucic but still outshot the Canadiens 32-27."

Yeah, 'cause Lucic was such a star for them.

msevigny said...

The Canucks game was even more bananas than the Habs. I nearly saw an entire arena commit suicide.

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