Friday, April 17, 2009

Bruins 4, Habs 2: Everyone Go to Your Corners and Come Out Irrational!

I've already read a lot about last night's game, and the consensus seems to be that the Habs can take some sort of moral victory away from their 4-2 ("3-2 with an empty netter!" you might say) loss to the Bruins last night. Price played pretty well, the Canadiens didn't wilt under the B's physical pounding, BGL was a relatively effective foil for Chara, and but for a stupid penalty by Josh Gorges, or a late whistle on the first goal, or terrible reffing, the Habs had the Bruins. "A couple of bounces" you say ... "one more call going our way" ...

Coulda, shoulda, woulda. Fucking bullshit. This series might not go five.

The Sky is Falling: They lost. To the Bruins. Chara was dominating, Kessel was flying, Lucic levelled a dozen people. The Habs spent huge chunks of time scrambling in their own end. Breezer was a fucking abomination, ZombiePleks was/is a fucking disgrace, D'Agostini looks like a career AHLer and Big Tits has lost the plot being stuck with those two millstones. BGL on the first line was a nice change-up that messed with Chara's head ... but Koivu and Kovy essentially played shorthanded on offense. Every time the Bruins looked interested, they nearly ran the Habs out of the building. The first Bruins goal was a gong show, with FOUR Canadiens allowing Krejci and Kessel to pop the puck loose and put it in. Argue whether the whistle was late all you want, but that was a joke. The bottom line from my point of view was this: The Bruins played like crap for long stretches and still won. The Canadiens played as well as they could (save for a couple of bounces) and still lost.

I'll get to the shit at the end of the game in a moment, but believe me, if it wasn't getting it's own paragraph, it would be in this section.

Plan a very short, token Parade: That was a hell of a performance from Price (not properly covering pucks notwithstanding.) He played calm, and looked square to the shooter. He made some very nice stops and gave the Habs a chance to win. If he keeps it up, the Habs won't suffer the humiliating beat down that every expert has predicted. The BGL experiment was an inspired gamble by Bob; it worked to a point. The Metro/Higgins/Tanguay line looked fantastic. The defence held its own under an onslaught of large, angry black and gold wearing fuckers carrying sticks. There are things the Habs can work on. It might just be too late for this year. At the very least, the Bruins know that they can be beaten. That's something positive, I guess.

And now, we come to the ranting, WTF is anyone thinking? portion of our program: Oh hell. Where do I start with this one? The bullshit at the end of last night's game has caused pretty well everyone to voice an opinion, and let's just say there is quite a range of viewpoints. Robert L at Eyes on the Prize has one viewpoint. Stanley Cup of Chowder has a different one. Naturally, Habs-haters worldwide can't resist jumping into the fray . Here's what I think:

I love Robert L's passion for the Habs and think his site is a treasure trove of history, game talk, and general Habs love. But he's off his rocker blaming that scrum on anyone other than Mad Max. I don't see Kessel saying or doing anything to warrant Lapierre's idiotic "message sending", and while I hate his Cro-Magnon guts, I see nothing wrong with Lucic jumping in to defend his team's leading goalscorer. Unless we discover Kessel insulted his Mom and sister, Lapierre acted like a classless shit.

I appreciate most of what Greek Lightning does for the Canadiens, but his brain must have left his body before he tried to throw that elbow at the end of the game. When you've already levelled someone from behind in a nationally televised game this year, you might not want to pull more stupid shit. Now, that being said, I've watched Greek Lightning for two full years in a Habs jersey and those are the only two times I've thought "oh fuck, that wasn't right", so everybody needs to lay off the "he's the scum of the earth" stuff. There's a big difference between Daniel Carcillo or Ryan Hollweg and Greek Lightning.

Ah, DOOM. Was it an eye gouge or a facewash? It looked a lot like DOOM, his arms being held by the ref, was pawing at Hunwick and got him in the eye. Intentional eye gouge? I hope not. But where is this camera angle where Hunwick is being held by anyone? In the video I see DOOM's arms mostly tied up and Hunwick's not. Later, there is a linesman between them, and DOOM definitely fires some punches into Hunwick (and Hunwick looks like he's trying to fire back.) I'm not arguing that he didn't do it, but somebody needs to stop fucking crying that DOOM took on a defenseless child in a streetfight. Fuck me, last week DOOM got mugged from behind by that asshole Lucic while he was tussling with Thornton and his face got shoved to the ground Steve Moore style. No outrage? Of course not. Habs haters are too busy cuing up the time Lucic beat a one-armed Komisarek and claiming he never drops the gloves.

Anyway, it all makes Saturday very interesting, and it gives all of us internet experts one more thing to bitch about. Classless Habs fans? Thug Bruins fans? No dog in this fight Leafs fans? Neutral corners 'til Saturday, all. (Hey, at least there won't be any ratings arguments about which team is getting the national broadcast, right?)


HabsFan29 said...

hey, i'm an internet expert!

i have no opinion.

Cornelius Hardenbergh said...

You're right about the bullshit at the end of the game. But it lead to some bruins fan trying to steal Kovalev's stick through the camera hole, which is...hilarious.

And in ratings argument news, this game was the third-highest-rated Bruins game on NESN ever, behind Game 7 in 2008 and Game 7 in 2004. Good to have a winner in there somewhere.

Is it Saturday night yet?

TH-TO said...

HF10 - you should write for a living, dude...oh wait...

Also, 'classless shits' in the NHL? How *shocking*! Say it ain't so! =)

Sonia said...

RE: the "eye-gouging incident".

It's the playoffs. If the eye doesn't actually pop out, roll around on the ice, get slapped around the rink, then eaten by a Bruins fan (who mistakes it for a pickled egg), then it's not eye-gounging.

eyebleaf said...

I understand what Komisarek is doing, but he needs to drop the gloves eventually.

lawyergirl77 said...

CH (I think that's the perfect way to shorten your handle, by the way!!) - I laughed my ass off when I saw that fan trying to get Kovy's stick and Kovy's reaction to the attempted larceny. Priceless.

Topic? I'm still disappointed. While we played very well and it was an encouraging step in the right direction, that "encouraging" shit is for the fucking regular season. In the playoffs, moral victories mean Sweet. Fuck. All.

HabsFan29 said...

@LG I totally agree re the encouraging crap. that's why I went with the "FUCK" side in TMS

Anonymous said...

Guys, Gals, or girls with dicks, or guys with breasts, or whatever:

I've been in China judging a competition for a big motherfucking hotel in Kunming. 400 rooms. Biggie. Three crap fuck American architects all blew it. I said so, so there. The projects were all shit, like Blah. Shit really. Boring. ZZZZZZZ

Then, exhausted, I take the fucking Shenzen hell train back to good old HK, where food is not poison cyanide DIE INSTANTLY, and they know what a dry martini is, and I have to read about how the Habs lost to the Bruins? The Bruins?

What the fuck? Is Gainey hurt? Savard probably broke both his legs again. Again. He was gonna make Bobby the Fag ‘greatest ever player’ look like a little moist pussy, then he broke BOTH his legs. Plural. LegS. Did he do it again? Bastard shit. Spinerama.

Lemaire probably took the night off too, he does that every 35 games or so. Cunt. Was 'Flower' a bit of a pussy again too? He drifts sometimes, like when he wore that stupid Jofa or something helmet his first two years. Little girl.

And I hate Cheevers. He always comes up big in that shit asshole stitch stupid mask. Giant twat.

And I'm gonna put a bullet clean through Middleton's head. Gonna mow my own grassy knoll. Cunt. I'm gonna go all Oswald on that fucker, slugs bouncing everywhere, through O'Reilly's wrist too, or maybe his spine. He deserves to be paralyzed and I won’t help him through doors or up ramps when it happens. No way. Giant fuck.

Keep me posted boys, I like to stay up to date doncha know.

Love your bloggie thingie guys. It's real funny though I don't always get the irony stuff.



PS: Stan fucking Jonathan. Cunt.

James said...

Anon- Meth wasn't strong enough, so you went with opium?

fezworth said...

@James: That's JHK, his particular blend of mind-altering drugs is known only to him. He doesn't post that often, but it's always entertaining. Bloggie Thingie. Love it.

@J: I usually take your posts as a good omen. I'm starting to feel better about Saturday.

chris nilan said...

fuck all you pessimistic cocksuckers.

did you think the habs were gonna sweep the series?


HabsFan29 said...

JHK in da house!!!!! The series has just taken a turn for the better kids

Jeff I hope at least you paid the extra dollar for the first class Shenzen train. was on it many times, and that lower class shit will kill you

Anonymous said...


Good boy. It's Now 73 HK$ first class. Otherwise, the HORROR, as you know.

Shit, just pissed myself. How embarassing.

Must go to bed.

Next game up Saturday. Fuck I think we're fucked, but you never know.

Love to all


McPhee said...

Price goaltends wonderfully when he's done killing our momentum.

Then when we come back he can't make amends to the point of stealing the game.

Bruins are pansies, they refuse to fight BGL but threaten Brisebois.

We are going to Boston Saturday, within earshot of Tiny Tim.


Consider yourselves mobilized.

Sonia said...

What a joy to come home to a JeffHK comment!

And yes, Middleton's a cunt, which is why Chris Nilan's butt-end to his mouth was totally justified.

Bless you, JHK. Pants.

bkblades said...

As much as I love the Habs Schadenfreude as much as the next Leafs fan, the Blue Jays are in full swing right now and that has taken most of my energy in paying much attention to the impending Habs playoff sweep. But truth be told, I'll be giving as many fist pumps as I possibly can if and when the Habs are eliminated, if only to dull the pain from being out of the playoffs for four straight years. So my hate still lingers, but it's in a dormant state.

Of course, if the Canadiens pull off the impossible and win a game or two, my visceral hate will remain dormant. But we all know that the Habs won't win a single game, right? ;)

HabsFan29 said...

@McPhee - have a great fucking time

I think you should be shouting "TIimmmyyyyy!" in the South Park Timmy voice all night. i don't know if Bs fans have the cranial capacity to understand any clever slogans

moeman said...

No ranting, no raving today, just get this guy in a Habs jersey and tell him Lucic is the target (NSFW).

iwishiweremingus said...

komo dropped the gloves with lucic and was out for four weeks. he's never been a fighter and it's not a question of toughness, it's the fact that someone in the organization told him not to fight because they can't afford to lose him for four weeks. same kinda shit they tell guys like vinnie lecavalier, who can obviously fight but shouldn't. notice in an earlier broons-habs game, komo just pushes people up against the glass and stares at them as they shit their pants (see: savard, marc in this case) so in conclusion, the guy's not gonna fight because he's been told not to and he probably shouldn't anyway. lucic goes after him all the time knowing this. who's the gutless shit?

lawyergirl77 said...

Behold the magic of JHK!!! That post was fucking brilliant, my friend.

And, as irrational as it is, I'm starting to feel more confident about Saturday night. WTF? Perhaps JHK should get an invite to the Habs' locker room in order to give them some inspiration!!!

moeman said...

Did Federer steal hf29 shoes?

UKHab said...

So I've just watched the game risking having to watch exactly how I pick up the soap in the shower for the next year if you know what I mean. And despite my horrible illegal download pile of shite hd not having any audio I thought the best team lost. Not seen the Habs quite so competitive in a long while. There is life in this series yet. Who else of you risked a year in jail just to watch the game? That's the sort of commitment I'm looking for in this series.

Canucnik said...

Mike Comisarek is one heck of a defenceman but... the hitting from the blind spot in front of the net... the College Boy face wash... and now the double face scrape when the guy is down facing away... he gets it "again", there are only a couple who can do it fair but the Bruins have these people.

Former Habs fan (20 years ago), lose the Olé... Olé with a one goal lead in the third.

kevincrumbs said...

Oh man, oh man... best anti-Bruins t-shirt I have seen in ages.

Anonymous said...

bring it.

iwishiweremingus said...

your post was just a collection of faux hockey slang. the double face scrape? and it's spelled komisarek.
word verif: unesto
as in my filipino friend unesto just double face scraped on my pillow. gross.

Van Hab said...

Wow that's a helluva post. Very thorough, much appreciated. I watched the Canucks game on TV this morning, but I think the 8AM local start is going to be way too early for me to get down to the local Whitey bar. Does anyone really expect the Habs to win this one? I mean, I'm as much a fan as anyone, but I feel a sort of futile detachment, y'know? kind of like watching Requiem for a Dream and hoping everything turns out fine. You KNOW shit is gonna get real.

Anyway, a baby shat 6 inches from my foot today. Apparently in Shanghai, diapers are only for the super-rich, and everyone else just trains their kid to lighten their load right in the street through chap-like assless trousers. Fucking geniuses, I tell you!

Daniel Plainview said...

I still think they can win this thing. If they can pull it out tonight, things will get very interesting going back to Montreal.

gillis said...

That thing with kovalevs stick was hilarious. Kovy was just like: WTF is happenning here. Who is this fuckin idiot?