Put a hit of meth in her cleavage and this is my ultimate fantasySeriously, enough fucking bullshit analysis. You've read everything we've written over the last 4 days, there is nothing left to preview. You know the game is at 7 PM on RDS and CBC, you know the history, you know the best Bruins blogs, you don't care who is hot and not because it's a new season anyway. Maybe you care about the lineup, but you already know that it's the same as the last few weeks, with BGL on the fourth line and Dandy on D. You know who's injured. You know there can be no post-game adult entertainment, because if the Fucking Habs win you'll have too much adrenaline to focus, and if we lose you'll be to depressed to get it up.
Go hockey, go pants. Go you Fucking Habs.
When I say "enough of this talking bullshit", that was not directed at you guys. Just so we're clear.
243 comments:
1 – 200 of 243 Newer› Newest»Let the drinking begin!
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Let the drinking enter its 5th hour!
YES! Between you guys and the meth, I'm totally pumped for this series. I want this feeling to last. I'm so afraid that it will last about 25 minutes (depending on how much the refs let them play).
Fucking Leffe Blondes and Brunes here.
GO HOCKEY! GO PANTS! GO HABS GO!
Why did I promise Mr. LG77 that I won't peek at the score and that I would watch it with him when I got home??? arrrrrgh! It's going to be killing me!
how fucking terrible is this. my roommate is a fucking sens fan but before they rejoined the league he was a fucking bruins fan so all I've heard this year is how good the fucking bruins are and how they are going to destroy us this year. fuck him. and to make it worse all of my other friends are leaf fans and I cant even talk hockey with them cause they are the worse fans ever and don't know shit. fuck my life. the habs better win tonight so i can throw it in their fucking faces. I'll be wearing my habs sweater proudly to the beer store in t-minus 15 minutes! GO HABS!
i hate the bruins as much as any true habs fan should, but i have to admit that i love their adds! check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUgXzJwT-Bg
GO HABS!
@ moeman
Not a big fan of the Leffe, myself. I think it'll be Moosehead for me tonight (coincidentally, "Moosehead" is also what Chara receives before every game).
Lineup is not the same as it was the past few weeks, btw. Breezer is in over Weber. I'm... ambivalent about this. We'll see how it goes. I sure as hell hope that Bob doesn't put him on with Schneider, though - that's a shortie waiting to happen.
Word verif: "fines". Dayam, the girl in that pic is fines...
lets beat these fucking bitches.
oops, i just saw you guys already posted the link to the add. fuck me for being internetedly retarded. and fuck the bruins.
Well, lines are the same as week before last (minus Markov...), but not last week. Bah, details.
GO HABS!
GO KOVY!
GO SAKU!
GO FUCK YOURSELF BROONS!
I'm predicting wins in game two, three, six and seven. So, I could care less if they lose tonight, as long as I'm correct at the end of the series.
My beer for the evening is a Ninkasi Believer Double Red. Very appropriate.
I just read on CBC.ca that markov is out for the entire first round. I think they are just being the offensive word.
rds or cbc tonight? On the Franco cable station we have to deal with the vast emptiness of brunet's vocabulary whilst on the free national teevee hnic we have to deal with the barnyardish and unscholarly stock+cherry+milbury and their Habs hate.
Word Verif = glavin, a funny sounding word made even funnier by Prof. Frink! Prof. Frink once built a robot bear
I convinced 15 of my work colleagues to join a playoffs pool. Yay! I ended up getting the Bruins! BOOOOO. My life, fuck it. I've spent the last 2 days reverse trash talking with the guy who got Montreal - "You're NOT going down, you hear me?" "Oh, I'm going down, I'm going down old school".
@moeman: The bear's "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH" from that Simpsons clip is my text message tone. True story.
@Rips, Frink's bear sounds like chara.
goddamn the RDS vs CBC decision. i can't take Brunet, I can't take Bob Cole. it's my personal hell
i'm rocking the Boréale with shots of Black Bush. i hope to be numb before puck drop
oooh kevin your beer looks outstanding
GO HABS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LETS GO JUNIORS!!!!
@DP: CBC is full of shit. BG said he's not giving an update until they see Marky skating again and he obviously isnt or else it would be all over the internet already.
Habs in 2!!!
I'm going with RDS and if they Habs get a commanding lead, like 17-0, I'll switch over to CBC to hear their agony.
@HF29: its called the mute button.
Pre-game show bitCHes!
Demers looks like he should work as a funeral director. joel bouchard's eyebrows look like goalie pads.
May this series between these two proud, noble hockey teams be played in the spirit of fair competition and sportsmanship, and provide us with good, clean entertainment, devoid of aggression and profanity...../Bullshit
FUCK YOU, BRUINS!
GO, YOU FUCKING HABS, GO!!!
one more button undone on Chantal we would see everything
Saku's English is 100 times better than Luc's
@Sonia: You scared me for a second. I thought you were serious. whew.
@HF29: Saku's english is flawless, luc needs to take a few more english courses
hf29 knows, MacaBABEs is a sight.
rds' interviewing Bs fans via the man on da street just shed some light on an interesting (researched?) fact. Bostonians and most Quebecois say da number tree exactly da same.
Saku rules.
speaking of english courses, have u guys seen this commercial?GO HABS GO!!!
did you ever see a kid with his dad and think, that kid got the short end of the stick. He's going no where. Bad genes.
Happened to me today. Little punk with his dad, both wearing Bruins jerseys. I felt bad for the little shit. I decided I'd give him a break. After he cleaned my windshield I tossed him a loonie...go smoke a fatty you little Broon criminal.
go habs
Oops!
stan jonathan sure has porked out.
chara shaved!
I just wrote a law school exam where Burns was trying to get an injunction against Frink. Now the rest of my west coast day is shot because I'm too bileful to think. And I love tits. This blog is everything I could have imagined.
Fuck the Bruins.
Totally off-topic, but...
I wish I could grow a beard like Chris Mason. Dude has a fucking buffalo hanging off his chin.
hey in 1983-84 the Bruins had 29 points than the Habs and we swept those motherfuckers in 3!
Wonder what beer Ribiero, Souray and Streit are having tonight.
Pleks just scored in the goal montage from last year. Im betting ZombiePleks won't make this year's montage. PROVE ME WRONG PLEKS
goddamn i need the fucking puck to drop
+1 moeman. that's good schadenfreude
MacaBabe's breasts are so low yet so inviting
6 minutes
gillis i predict a good 15-20 before it drops
If I watch the Red Wings I may throw up from nervousness.
So I think I'll hang out here, where I can feel free to relax by means of profanity. ;)
Go Habs Go!
Go Habs Go!
Go Habs Go!
yeah 29, 7:12 at the earliest.
And crap, I get the Boston feed. Fail fail fail.
and go you Fucking Habs, go!
hnic doesn't deserve the right to broadcast this series. Friedfuck loves the sound of his fat voice.
I have my championship ball hockey game at 8. Hopefully, the game starts a soon so I can see a few goals before I leave (hopefully 3-0 Habs by 7:20).
please beat these bitches. please please please. fuck them and their stupid mouth breathing neanderthal fans.
kristin! i think the Bruins feed would be an improvement over my Brunet-Cole choice
Let's get it on, boys!!
(word verif: coacks. As in, the Bruins are a bunch of coacks.)
Fuck me, I get the NESN feed.
Also, go Blue Jackets!
Fuck... free online choices tonight: shitty video from Justin TV or good quality video with the Bruins announcers. Oh to have the choice between Bob and Benoit.
Word verif: methsb
Here's a new Bruins-Montreal [a href="http://bendugas.blogspot.com/2009/04/some-kind-words-for-bruins-from-very.html"]on my blog.[/a] It's not really a hockey blog but sometimes I like to talk a little hockey.
It's about nice things I have to say about some of my favorite Bruins.
my god that was fast. WOOOOOO. GO YOU FUCKING HABS GO
alright calm down. is it over yet?
Hahaha Metropolit, rocking the handlebars!
I have a feeling that old little shit Recchi will be a problem.
and I loved Recchi when he was a Hab and I was like 13.
oh BGL
w00t! good start all around. i love the playoffs
GOD THIS FUCKING TEAM AND PENALTIES
WTF from behind
Good PK - but mostly I couldn't waste a verification of "hacalaca." So funny.
Leffe #2
Lucy chickens out.
Complete shift in momentum, post-penalty.
Plekanec: giving little girls a bad name since 2008.
BGL is into it it baby
Of course Lucic isn't going to go with BGL. Fucking chicken shit fuck.
Julien wiping Lucic's shitty ass after Big Georges scares him.
I have to say, I respect and love the organ. Better than fucking Katy Perry and that Energie Cardo shit we have to deal with at Centre Bell.
so has BGL taken Tangy's spot on the first line or am i crazy?
I love Dandy's perseverance and hard work.
beat these fucks
Does Gainey want a first period of just hitting the fuck out of everything that moves? That's why Laraque is double shifting right? There is strategy right?
kc knows, organs can be fun.
Why is this a penalty? Fukcing bullshit.
what an ass call
Lucy dove.
Carey... Oh no, oh no, oh no.
FUCK FUCK FUCKING REFS
FUCK YOU YOU ONE NUT PIECE OF SHIT
Garbage goal.
fucking waste of a decent effort to be down 1-0. FUCK FUCK im annoyed
the woooo by the PA guy=MICKEY MOUSE SHIT ASS BANDWAGON NEANDERTHAL BITCHASS CRACKER JACK 4TH RATE SHITHOLE OF AN ASS TEA
I like BGL in here. They seem to be obsessed with him. Komi must be thankful.
I still sense unease in the Bruins crowd. They know they got lucky on that shit. I'll gladly take being down 1-0 going into the 1st intermission.
Carey needs to get him game back.
@Daniel: I feel like the lord will smite the Bruins for that stupid WOOOOOO!!!! shit. Like LG77 said in the post below, you're a fucking Original Six team.
Line matchups killing da Habs.
So, when do we see Jaro? To be fair, Carey didn't have much of a chance but he also needs to make up for that 1st goal.
imagine if Halak took over and played like he did in February?
Plekanec is pissing me off big time.
game. set. match. back to the Sound and The Fury in a few.
sorry i passed out from nnoyance. fuck fuck fuck
TAKE THAT! Tangy!
Higgs! Fuck you Bruins!
YES GODDAMMNIT
I mean Higgy but frankly, Youppi could score and I'd take it. COME ON!
Broken sticks are annoying. :)
woooo FUCK YOU MICKEY MOUSE. ITS LAMER THAN PHILLY'S CRUSH THE CANADIENS VENGEANCE NOW T SHIRT.
MOTHER FUCKERS YES YOU GONNA WOOOOO AFTER THAT SHIT YOU FUCKS?
Notice the fear in pollacks eyes?
That Plek line is going to be the death of us.
I haven't sat down yet for this period. Too much adrenaline going.
all things considered i'll take it
Where is Kovy? Come on AK27!!!
We don't look that bad, although my standards are quite low. We need to get the fuck out of our zone. We'll see when we get a PP.
okay, it was lots of fun having laraque in there for a period...now, can we stop neutralizing koivu and kovy? put him on pleks line...they are useless anyway, at least bgl would bring something.
Agreed the Habs need to clear their zone better but maybe stop the Bs from getting in would help.
KKT is so much more limited without the outlet passes from Markov. But without Tanguay's vision on the first line our entire strategy is to get garbage goals from Latendresse and Higgins.
Only saw the last 15 min of period 1. Habs don't look too bad. Same problems but less pronounced. Slightly better passing but still trouble receiving. bad passing = difficulty exiting d-zone.
Something has to be done about the plek, ak46, d'ags line...sheesh, what is wrong with them? This has be solved immediately.
Nice pk kill by Metro and Higgs in particular. Higgs can be really strong on the puck when he wants to be puck.
Nice plays by all on the Higgins goal.
Ryder makes a nice pass to Kreiji. He might not be scoring on us but Ryder definitely burned us with the nifty backhand pass.
Seems like both the habs players and carey are having trouble tracking the puck. So often I've seen the puck at their feet and said player doesn't know it's there...sheesh, look down darnit.
Laraque on the first line looks pretty good actually.
vid
Commenting from Shanghai... 7AM sunshine glinging through the smog and I can't get the game to stream online. I'm astounded I'm able to access this website... I think I hear the secret polie coming...
Habs seem to be done...
if pleks has the kind of playoff he had last year, and is beginning to have this year, please send him packing in the off-season...
Van Hab in Asia! you can't beat Chinese smog. i remember Beijing haze with fondness, and coughing
@Van Hab: I think this site would merely confuse the secret police.
i might work in china
I think the secret police would have to go through all the chick pics very carefully, one by one, to determine if the website is truly subversive or not. You can't make a decision like that without proper research.
habs got jam..
Baroque! How're you holding up? From the highlights I saw of the first, Ozzie's come to play.
oh that was close.
@ Melly -
Not too well. Scoreless games scare me - I can't help imagining triple overtimes as I have a harder and harder time breathing. :)
I actually went to my first game live earlier this year, and it was more stressful than I thought it would be to not have the opportunity to go into the next room or change the channel when I got nervous. I did filter scary parts through my fingers, though!
Come on Habs! You can do it!
well we're in it. you can say that much at least
Is Tanguay injured? This doesn't make sense otherwise.
china fun fact...did you know the entire country is under the same time zone? So no matter where you are in that country you'll have to watch games at 7am.
tanguay's "sure goal" was deflected by the Bruins D...so close.
score on this midget fuck
Speaking of midgets - what was the name of the pocket-sized tiny goalie in the McDonalds commercials? I was trying to remember earlier today, and it's driving me nuts(er).
(At least Detroit won't be shut out. That was my number one fear.)
fucking tiny tim!! fuck
you have got to be fucking kidding me
Wow. Zombie has some heavy elbows.
fucking zombie-peks!! my god, wtf?
@Baroque - the McDonald's mini goalie is J.C. Petit
Also, Fuck you Pleky.
Thank you, Melly! I knew it was a pseudo-French name.
This game is actually quite even and competitive. Funny that the 4-5 matchup was more one-sided than the 1-8 matchup.
Competitive is nice, but I'd really like Montreal to score a couple more goals. Soon.
Yeah, go ahead and boo a blatant goaltender interference call. Go fuck off and watch the fucking Sox or some shit.
Common PP!!
go high on this midget fuck
2~2 BitCHes!
KOVY!
KOVY!
KOVY!!!!!!
Now don't give up a goal for the rest of the night. K. THX. Bye.
Wow what a shot from Kovalev.
KOVY!!!!!!!
sacksly veri word
shit that was close to being a turnover at the blueline...shit was that a damn hard slapper by Kovy.
vid
KO-VA-LEV!!
What a laser.
WOOOOOO on that, Bitches.
(@Baroque - No problem :-) I just saw the commercials on YouTube the other day, that's why I remembered.)
I'm just hoping they don't give up a goal for the rest of the period, then go from there. :)
HABS GOT JAM!!
all in all a decent 40 minutes of hockey on the road
keep it up dammit
@vid - i noticed. im ignoring it
Okay, Canadiens - a request for you. More of that second period stuff, please? I like that much better than the first period.
@Baroque: If I said that, Carey would then proceed to give up ten goals in the third.
My roommate came downstairs and watched a bit of the 2nd with me. I then realised that I can't really watch a game with anyone because I cannot be social at all while being so nervous/serious.
DET 3 - CBJ 1
motherfuckers suck on that Tiny
Leffe #3, a Brune.
This is a bit random but FHFs should have twitter account for those late night meth binges.
They are going to kill me. Fuck I cannot handle this much stress on a Thursday night.
@Daniel: I really don't want to imagine Thomas sucking on anything. Blech.
I don't recomend walking into a bar in southern Alabama and asking them to put the Habs game, I mean Montreal - Boston, I mean hockey... ice Hockey... not bull riding; Hockey... no, ah, right there, no thats the Wings, ah mean Detroit... what to you mean you only have VS? That little bitch told me you have the habs, I mean Moneal game... fuck this; Let me pay for this beer; I'm outta here!
Fuck!
My roommate came downstairs and watched a bit of the 2nd with me. I then realised that I can't really watch a game with anyone because I cannot be social at all while being so nervous/serious.I can actually watch sports with my family, because several of them are fans of different teams in different sports so they understand my neuroses.
Especially my mom. She also will switch channels if things look bad, or go into the next room until an inning is over. Or hit the magic mute button when your team is on a penalty kill. :)
Fun fact I found out on National Public Radio this morning - April is officially Stress Awareness Month. How apropos is that?
(I'm extremely aware of my stress this month.)
The closest I can come to watCHing Habs playoff hockey not alone is this blog. Can't sit still.
Woke up late (I'm in Asia along with Van Hab), and was out drinking till 4am. But I saw AK27's goal. I knew he'd step up. Fuck you Bruins. You overrated shitty shit shits.
Also, DIE!
Some might say it's too early in the morning to hate this much. I say, when it's the Broons, you can never really hate enough.
oh got I hope BGL goes with Chara, it would relieve my stress
I hate the Bs in my sleep.
Word Verif = stfus, as in shut the fuck up shittybruins
@Moeman: Just finished my 22 ounce bottle of Ninkasi. I'm moving on to a nice glass of Fernet and coke. You're going to finish six bottles of Leffe at this pace.
suck it Tiny.
Froom the looks of these comments, things are good? Seeing your comments without watching the game or even knowing the score is like listening to one side of a three-way conference call.
Yeah, fucked up thing about the single time zone here... sun is way up in the sky and it's 8:50AM. sun was up at 5ish, sets around 6:30. WTF...
A favour to ask: more detailed comments for your boy visiting China. TSN, RDs, and NHL.com fail to load properly. strangely you guys are possible the fastst-loading site in China so far, so I'll be coming straight to you for my info over the next two weeks. Please don't disappoint with descriptive commentary, score updates, etc....
I'll return the favour with little anecdotes from my first trip to China.
For example, the three-bedroom penthouse I'm staying in is worth millions, but has no dishwasher and the washer/dryer are on their own, specially made outdoor balcony. It seems indoor cleaning machines are a no-no, but two front doors is fair game.
@kc, I'm nursing #3 and I'll be lucky to pound back 4, unless there is triple overtime.
Also, WhereTF is Big Tits?!
|＼／|
＜／￣￣丶
＿_彡ﾉﾒﾉﾉﾚﾘ〉
＼ ﾙﾘﾟヮﾟﾉﾘ
＞<(つiつ
∠_く//｣｣〉
@Van Hab: Start of the 3rd right now.
Also, I don't think there are a ton of dishwashers in China. As a Chinese person, I didn't start using a dishwasher until I was about 24 or 25, even when I lived in places that had them.
Gui-TTB-Max look good so far in the 3rd.
habs finally playing and its 3 o'clock in germany. I hope I'm sober for work at 9.
Lucic suck it.
Good sustained pressure in the Broons zone. 14:16 left in the 3rd.
now BGL is just getting in the way on that line
motherfuckers beat these fucks
@ Van Hab:
Regale away. I love anecdotes about trips to places I have neither the time or money to visit.
The first period was discouraging, as Boston came out like crazy (as expected). Second period much better, and the third is tilting a little toward Montreal. They have been making good solid passes, getting chances (I think the announcers just said it was 4-1 shots, favor of Montreal this period) and playing pretty good defense.
Right now several stoppages in a row, icings and such. The game is slowing down a bit.
I smell overtime, actually. This period has that feel to it.
verif word = "funki" :)
GO HABS GO!!
I am hesitant to say anything positive about Carey because he always fucks up when I do.
ZombiePleks back on the ice after an extended stay on the bench.
Habs skating well in the 3rd so far.
@ Kevin -
Then say nothing at all, and we can fill in the blanks. :)
Boston has gotten nothing going in their favor really this whole period. Montreal has gotten really close to taking the lead a couple times.
stop telling Kevin how decently we're playing. you'll jinx it
Maybe ZombiePleks needs a new linemate. Put AK46 in the pressbox and call up MaxPax.
I heart Saku. That was nice hustle and hit on the much bigger Ward.
AK46 hit on Lucic. If it was the other way around, Jack Edwards would make like Andy Samberg and jizz in his pants.
Let's not forget that pollack doesn't like tight games involving the Habs.
If I didn't know this was a game between a number one seed and number eight seed, I wouldn't know there was such a large differential from the way the two teams are playing.
Montreal playing pretty decent defense. As a Bruin comes toward the net, they have been closing on him and preventing him from getting a shot off.
Fuck, now we have to kill a penalty. WE SUUUUCCCKKK (meaning we'll now win by 19 goals).
goddamn a crappy time for a penalty. grrrr
Fuck PK, to many icings!
Penalty Montreal - Georges.
9:40 to go. Big PK after the commercial.
now a lame ass penalty to help the lame ass hockey market.
I like how physical the Habs are being. The Goons, I mean "Broons", actually look timid.
Scared bitches.
Van Hab: Appliances in general aren't big in Asia (dryers, ovens, never even seen a dishwasher here). Do you have a bathtub? I have a hose over the toilet. It's held up by tape. Stay classy, Seoul.
Stupid Broons fans.
Thank you, Lord. After all, I did pray at St. Joseph's for the Habs.
Shot off the crossbar and then off Carey, but he keeps it out.
god FUCKING dammit
And now they score, of course. Fuck this shit. Lucky fucks.
FUCKING MONKEY!!!
FUUUUUUUUUCK
I wish Chara could meet his Ulf Samuelsson in both knees.
fuckity fuck C------
Stupid freaking Chara.
Well, Montreal just has to score another couple goals.
I knew they would score after that post/save. It seems to happen that way with Price. He's very giving.
wooooo FUCK YOU CHEER FOR THE SOX YOU FUCKS,
Breezer coughs up the puck and almost a goal.
Whatever wonderdrug cocktail the trainers are giving Schneider that lets him play with a torn rotator cuff, they need to double the dose and give it to Markov asap.
5 mins remaining,,keep BGL off the ice.
ok I love what Georgé has brought tonight but for fucks sake put Tangs on that line fucks. Carboooo is tht you?
Regardless of what happens tonight (and it's looking like the Broons will win this one), we have a series. Habs don't look horrible.
ok lots of positives tonight. we win Saturday and head back to Montreal with the momentum yessir
Breezer, fucking knock it off!
Breezer visibly shakes whenever a Bruin gets close.
Breezer! Don't pass the puck the wrong direction!
Now the Bruins just keep clearing the puck out.
I screamed the offensive word when Breeze did that. my neighbours must think I;m insane unless they are watching the game.
oh god kosto
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