Saturday, April 11, 2009

We Still Loath the Broons, but Tonight's About the Penguins: Game Preview and Open Thread


After seeing this picture, Panger bought a Tuxedo and booked a flight to Antarctica.

Last game of the season? Wow, has it been 90 games (including 9 exhibition) already? It seems like just yesterday the Fucking Habs were getting pasted 8-3 by Boston in Halifax. It was September 22 you say? Wow. No more time t0 look back - although I'm sure that will happen soon enough - as the Fucking Habs must win today to avoid playing the Broons in the first round. Is facing the Ovie-led Caps any better? I say yes, because frankly I'm just sick of playing Boston, and if we lose to them (I have a sneaking suspicion this is not an upset year) I'll have to join HF10 in ritual hari-kari. Yes, we're both samurai.

Anywho, me likie the bullet points as much as HF29, so let's set up this regular season finale, FHF style:
  • 7:00pm EDT/ 5:00pm MDT, Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada, The World.
  • Saturday night means CBC and RDS. Although I'm not sure if the Montreal game will be available anywhere but Quebec as the CBC will probably pimp two non-playoff Southern Ontario-based teams nationwide (I'll let you figure out which), giving Don Cherry one last chance to give the Leafs a verbal blowjob.
  • I'm praying the this is the last regular season game for Homer Brunet. Fucking idiot. Please wake up, Mr. Head-of-RDS-On-Air-Talent, and bring back Yvon.
  • While they are still officially in Fucking Habs territory with three straight losses, it was encouraging to see them outplay Boston in the last half of the game, and not fall for Boston's goonery/bafoonery. Speaking of which, I'm now officially gay for Micheal Komisarek: all is forgiven Doom. Just wanted to share.
  • Oh, and before I forget: fuck that little fucktard Lucic and that Shaved Gorilla, Chara.
  • After looking like they'd be playing golf come April only a couple of months ago, the Pens have a shot (albeit slim) at 4th. They've won 3 in a row and 7 of 10, and they've got something to play for. Terrific!
  • Apparently Bob is panicin...err juggling his lines tonight: Saks plays with the Hands of Stone, BGL and Stewart (do we not have a nickname for this guy yet?), Metro plays with Kovy, Tangy gets a rest and Rhino gets his ass nailed to a press box seat. TFS (tm) starts - not surprising since he loves to play the guy who went higher than him in the 2005 draft.
  • Headline: Penguins Summon Satan. I haven't even read it, but I can tell you that this is a great article, just for the title. Here's praying (pun intended) he signs with the Devils in the offseason. Of course I've said that for the last 10 years.
  • ZombiePleks has now gone 12 straight without seeing red. But he promises he'll turn it on in the playoffs. Peest, Pleks: It's not a switch. It's called going to the net. Look into it. Big Tits has taken up residence in this bullet, too.
  • Gino Malkin has to qualify as the hottest player in the league this season, as he leads Ovie by 4 points with a game left for each. Sid the Kid gets an honourable mention for sticking up for his league-leading teammate by fighting Keith Ballard. Here's the tape. I can only assume this is from a Cats broadcast because there is no way that Ballard "cleaned Crosby's clock". (And yes, broadcasters, when your team's leading scorer gets hammered, you DO have to respond.)
  • After starting out hot playing next to Sid, Bill Guerin has come back to earth like John Glenn: too old to think he'll ever go back up. MA Fleury is cold, too, giving up 4 goals a game the past couple, with a GAA well below .900 (that's bad).
  • For more Pens-friendly fare, follow Rhonda's Penguin Obsession.
  • No strip club tonight kids, it's Holy Saturday. Go pray to your gods.

Two quizzes for the commentators tonight: first, who would you rather play, Boston or Washington, and show your work. Second, let's get Gregory Stewart a nickname, he's earned it.

73 comments:

Shutdown said...

1- play washington. show my work? Theo-fucking-dore.

2- i don't know. he's earned a nickname, but it has to come naturally. I say we watch the game tonight and give him one relevant to something he does tonight.

iwishiweremingus said...

1. boston- eh, i just think it'll be a fun and gritty series. don't hate me, but i also like watching tim thomas play. i do think that these two teams bring out the best in each other. also assuming a few games sans markov, that first line of jizz-backstrom-ovie would give our first d-pairing hell while setting the plate for nylander/federov/all those washed up offensive dynamos to go to to town on insert: schneider, brisebois, weber, etc.

2. i think he looks like a kid (but i'm 20 so take that for what it's worth) some take on babyface assassin this guy's nickname or something like that?

word verif: alosters
alosters any lingering respect for that lucic asshole on thursday night.

moeman said...

1. Bs, I's got a feelin' we can beat em'.

2. Stewie,cuz .

boob gainey said...

1. Broons. Why? You think if we lose to them it'll hurt? Just think how it will feel for them if we win.

2.Fist Stew.

(OK it needs work.)

Richard said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
South Shore Habs Fan said...

1. Caps. They're a one-line team (albeit one fucking amazing line), and they have Theo in nets (why they chose to sign Theo over Huet, I dunno). Also, they're less likely to cheapshot us.

2. Is Stewie not an acceptable nickname? How about Knuckles Jr.?

South Shore Habs Fan said...

@ Richard
Heh. But Stewart doesn't take moronic penalties.


How about "Tom the Bomb's Missing Fighting Skills"? A bit unwieldy, maybe.

Richard said...

1 - Bruins

Work:
24/100 - 79 = 8
8 =/= (not equal to) 8
Therefore: 60 + 8 >> 31 + 8

2 - Nickname: "New Begin"?

lawyergirl77 said...

1) Washington. I'm sick of the Broons and their asshole thuggery. I've seen that movie before - NEXT! And I want to boo my lungs off at Theo... and watch Ovie 'cause he's cool.

2) FtC as in "fuck the code". He actually fights when he needs to, not just 'cause some idiot on the other team says he wants to go. You could also call him Bam-Bam (I still wish that Laraque's "Pebbles"- as in, that ain't no rock, it's a pebble - nickname had caught on...)

moeman said...

Methinks the gorgeous lg77 wants to be on the OVcam.

Also, new nickname suggestion, Gazoo.

moeman said...

Also, for lg77 and da 4hf gals.

Moey said...

Bruins. Shout out to Moeman for thinking of us gals. Gracias.

word verif - corsa

As in will we beat the Bruins? Of corsa we will.

Sonia said...

1) Boston. My work: The Centennial looney I'm flipping.

2) Stewie, if you're going for a typical modern hockey nickname: No imagination whatsoever. I like Bam Bam, though. Kind of sounds like Boom Boom.

Tom said...

1) The Caps. I'm tired of beating the Bruins in the playoffs every year. It's not a rivalry if the other team can't win when it counts.

Here's the math:

15 (years since the Bruins beat the Habs in the playoffs) multiplied by 24 (amount of times the Habs defeated the Bruins in the playoffs) divided by 7 (amount of times the Bruins won) equals another playoff win for Montreal this season.

Let's go with someone new. Plus, it would be great to see the reaction Theodore would get.

2) I like Stew, and it can always be renamed to Stu for stupid in case he starts channeling Darcy Tucker or something.

moeman said...

Because there's some kind of 'masters' shit on RDS, on cbc/hnic;

- haharudey says da Habs have NO CHANCE versus da Bs (in 1993 kelly spent more time worrying about his baby blue bandana (NTTIAWWT) than the Stanley Cup Finals he was in

- pjstock, a fucking pig, is NOT the voice of the Montreal Canadiens, in his semi-regular Team 990 show peejay stock claims to be pro-Habs, nothing could be further from the truth, peejay is a hack and a pathetic one at that, he loves his cbc gig and pretends to be a Habs source of info, he isn't, he's a fucking pig hack who loves the sound of his own voice on hnic, when did this fuckwad become a spokeperson for Habs info/news, he's a hypocritical hackneyed hack that has zero cred, none, nada, zilch, he is a fucking un-educated, moronic fucking pig, um, I think I just realized why cbc/hnic likes this fucker (I hope you read this blog peejay because I think your are a disgusting hack, at least rejean tremblay doesn't hide his 'alleged' racism and outright terroristic attempts at be-littleling the Canadiens)

- did I mention that peejay stock is a fucking hack?

moeman said...

brunet thinks the Semitic Saviour 'has replaced Streit/Souray', pure fucking genius

Word Verif = nerfmic, what brunet is holding in his joeurnaliste hand

moeman said...

jooel 'hairdoo' boochard calls him Curry Price, à propos?

moeman said...

Lazy play, easy goal, 1-0 Pens.

Tom said...

It's going to be a long night.

orangeman said...

I tuned into the game a few minutes late and was disappointed to find them down 1-0 already. THen I saw Price in net. Oh, right.

5-1 Pens.

lawyergirl77 said...

Fuck. Do these bitches really want to play da Broons? Shots are 8-1.

Boob Gainey said...

Laraque.

What is the point?

Boob Gainey said...

Lapy and TK really got played there.

moeman said...

Can ya feel da playoff intensity? Bring on da Bs.

bkblades said...

Apparently, CBC wised up and are playing the Habs-Pens on the national feed, instead of the sorry excuse of a rivalry that is Leafs versus Sens. Now the Habs can revel in nationwide hate rather than just Leafs country. ;)

moeman said...

brunet est convaincul.

Tom said...

I don't think the Habs have made a pass more than five feet.

orangeman said...

Who fanned on that open net? He's off the team. Enough of these missed open nets, for christ sake.

As expected, the Habs look disinterested and lazy. They made the playoffs, they think their job is done for the year. Sigh.

Veri word: spiret. What the Habs DONT have.

moeman said...

1-1, Smell the Cup!

orangeman said...

Of course Lapiere was in front of the net battling. I'm falling more and more in love with that guy every game.

Tom said...

How come Crosby doesn't get booed anymore?

orangeman said...

Shots 17-6. Lucky it's 1-1.

Jaybird said...

@ moe

Good post on PJ Stock. I've now lost respect for every CBC HNIC member except for Maclean an Cherry. Weird that I'm a habs fan who likes Cherry I know. I just know when he's gone he will be missed as he is irreplaceable. But Kelly Hrudey, Strachan, Stock are ALL fucking pigs. They are all pushing for Cherry's spot. The TSN guys are just as bad.

On a fun note: I love Tom Kostopoulos!

Boob Gainey said...

Koivu sets up Laraque alone in front. Poor Laraque out-dekes himself.

Kmaxx said...

How the fuck are we in this game 1-1? We haven#t even had 10 shots and the game's half over...FUCK!!!

Boob Gainey said...

We're doing better this period.

kmaxx said...

Jaybird - if you think hnic is bad - try watching it on rds - I stream it from the UK and the french version gives me the best picture - but a couple of these guys are pretty bad - brunet for one! Demers is cool! And Chantal is pretty fit!

Boob Gainey said...

These refs are terrible.

Boob Gainey said...

These are the refs Bob criticized after the Boston game.

They're getting their revenge today.

Tom said...

Wow! What a save!

orangeman said...

Ok, Price. You've proved your point. I'm a believer again. I admit I was wrong......for now.

orangeman said...

Price: 2 Me: 0. I've never been so happy to be wrong!

Boob Gainey said...

We're going nowhere in the playoffs.

This is embarrassing.

HabsFan4 said...

Folks, those two saves were enough to get me over here and profess my love to the world.

kmaxx said...

Well that was a piece of shit period - thank God TFS found a couple a miracles to pull out to keep it even. Did we leave the fense at home for Easter or what? What a load of cack tonight so far!! BGL gets our best chance of the period - what does that say!!??


word verification: Subcalm - as in - the attitude is less than calm - it's subcalm - and we're getting killed!!!!

Jaybird said...

@ kmaxx-

I used to only watch on RDS unless Montreal was on in HD which rarely happens since the sens get the CBC HD channel here in Ottawa. Brunet killed RDS broadcasts with his dirty Gatineau accent and pure stupidity leaving me in the hands of CBC and TSN when I get the option. Why did they fire Yvon? I find it hilarious as he is the third man on CBC and they pretty much bullied him at the start of they year. He would get two sentences in the whole game with his broken English and it was hard to watch...wish RDS would get him back.

Carey Price is the man! He says he can't wait till playoffs start and he is more prepared than last year! Optimism for me!

Boob Gainey said...

Another chance for Laraque. And he whiffs.

Poor guy. He really is a joke.

orangeman said...

showing signs of life here.

Boob Gainey said...

Reluctantly the refs call a pen on the pens.

Rips it, scores! said...

@Jaybird: Yvon was fired by RDS?!? That was idiotic. I thought he had left on his own terms.


2-1 SHG. FML.

orangeman said...

Habs play like shit, keep it tied. They turn it on, get a PP and then give up a goal. It's hard being a Habs fan sometimes.

Oh, goodie, another goal. There's the Carey I know.

Rips it, scores! said...

2 shorties on the same powerplay. Can't get much worse than that.

So, who's looking forward to playing the Bruins!

Daniel Plainview said...

looks like we are playing the twats in the first round.

orangeman said...

New quiz: How many games will it take for the Broons to bump these guys out? I say 5.

orangeman said...

I can already hear the post game interviews:

"We played really well tonight."

"I think we could have won."

"We didn't get the bounces."

You don't get to win by only playing 10 minutes of decent hockey. You really don't get to win giving up 2 SHGs on the same goddamn PP. I don't think I've ever even seen that before!

Daniel Plainview said...

orangeman, I believe I remember seeing the Ottawa Senators do it in 1992-93.

Rips it, scores! said...

Florida winning tonight, imagine if we hadn't gotten that point against the Bruins and had to get it tonight.....

orangeman said...

DP: Ha!

Daniel Plainview said...

Boob impassive

Rips it, scores! said...

Markov, clone yourself. PLEASE.

Daniel Plainview said...

so do they salute the fans at centre ice this year?

orangeman said...

End the season with 4 straight losses. Super.

Price makes a couple of superhuman saves, then let's in a softie to kill any chance of a comeback. Much like the team as a whole, he shows us what he's capable of only to deliver much less when it counts.

lawyergirl77 said...

Fuck. It sucks to be a Habs fan sometimes...

Hey, bitCHes: funny how things change in a year... Last year you were getting an ovation on your way to face the Broons. Now you get booed off the ice. Well done. Bitches.

Lucic said...

Time to lay out the fucking bear traps

Easterhabfan said...

Bob , can you now fire yourself for this pathetic season.

Daniel Plainview said...

my friend Denis claims that this is all an elaborate version of rope a dope.
He needs to lay off the crack pipe i think.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

End the regular season on two shorties - apropos. It brings back memories of that wonderful road trip out west.

Meh, this game wasn't Carey's fault. He was the only reason it was still tied going into the third, and you don't win games by scoring one goal (unless you're the Blue Jackets or the Wild). I really wish this would stop looking like they can score goals, looking like they can win games, and just freaking score and win already.

Also - Bob? Boston was on Thursday, Pittsburgh was tonight. I think you got the Laraque/Stewart assignments all mixed up.

Another excellent game for Metropolit, though. He's going to be gold in the playoffs. Pity we don't have Umberger, too.

moeman said...

Bring on da fucking Bruins, the Habs' playoff bitCHes.

31 series.

24 wins.

25 sounds nice.

1 game at time.

Get 4.

Of 7.

#11 will lead the way and resurrect this fucking team.

This is not the Canadiens last supper.

Daniel Plainview said...

my heart says they can do it, my brain says no fucking chance. ugh.

lawyergirl77 said...

DP - I'm with you on the head/heart thing. But, then again, I was VERY worried last year when we faced them in 1st and 8th, so anything is possible...

But the fact that we ended the season with 4 straight losses is fucking upsetting.

Tom said...

Kovalev always comes through in the playoffs. Watch him get four goals and five assists in the first three games. He'll probably finish with 10 points in 6 games.

Boob Gainey said...

New season starts Thursday.

GO HABS GO!

kevincrumbs said...

The fact that some idiots actually applauded the team at the end of the game makes me mad. We completely underachieved this year, people! All the centennial was good for was to flog some fucking merchandise.

Last night's game sucked but I'm not going to read too much into it. I'm predicting Bruins in 6, but my heart tells me we can win this. Go Habs Go!