After seeing this picture, Panger bought a Tuxedo and booked a flight to Antarctica.
Last game of the season? Wow, has it been 90 games (including 9 exhibition) already? It seems like just yesterday the Fucking Habs were getting pasted 8-3 by Boston in Halifax. It was September 22 you say? Wow. No more time t0 look back - although I'm sure that will happen soon enough - as the Fucking Habs must win today to avoid playing the Broons in the first round. Is facing the Ovie-led Caps any better? I say yes, because frankly I'm just sick of playing Boston, and if we lose to them (I have a sneaking suspicion this is not an upset year) I'll have to join HF10 in ritual hari-kari. Yes, we're both samurai.
Anywho, me likie the bullet points as much as HF29, so let's set up this regular season finale, FHF style:
- 7:00pm EDT/ 5:00pm MDT, Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada, The World.
- Saturday night means CBC and RDS. Although I'm not sure if the Montreal game will be available anywhere but Quebec as the CBC will probably pimp two non-playoff Southern Ontario-based teams nationwide (I'll let you figure out which), giving Don Cherry one last chance to give the Leafs a verbal blowjob.
- I'm praying the this is the last regular season game for Homer Brunet. Fucking idiot. Please wake up, Mr. Head-of-RDS-On-Air-Talent, and bring back Yvon.
- While they are still officially in Fucking Habs territory with three straight losses, it was encouraging to see them outplay Boston in the last half of the game, and not fall for Boston's goonery/bafoonery. Speaking of which, I'm now officially gay for Micheal Komisarek: all is forgiven Doom. Just wanted to share.
- Oh, and before I forget: fuck that little fucktard Lucic and that Shaved Gorilla, Chara.
- After looking like they'd be playing golf come April only a couple of months ago, the Pens have a shot (albeit slim) at 4th. They've won 3 in a row and 7 of 10, and they've got something to play for. Terrific!
- Apparently Bob is panicin...err juggling his lines tonight: Saks plays with the Hands of Stone, BGL and Stewart (do we not have a nickname for this guy yet?), Metro plays with Kovy, Tangy gets a rest and Rhino gets his ass nailed to a press box seat. TFS (tm) starts - not surprising since he loves to play the guy who went higher than him in the 2005 draft.
- Headline: Penguins Summon Satan. I haven't even read it, but I can tell you that this is a great article, just for the title. Here's praying (pun intended) he signs with the Devils in the offseason. Of course I've said that for the last 10 years.
- ZombiePleks has now gone 12 straight without seeing red. But he promises he'll turn it on in the playoffs. Peest, Pleks: It's not a switch. It's called going to the net. Look into it. Big Tits has taken up residence in this bullet, too.
- Gino Malkin has to qualify as the hottest player in the league this season, as he leads Ovie by 4 points with a game left for each. Sid the Kid gets an honourable mention for sticking up for his league-leading teammate by fighting Keith Ballard. Here's the tape. I can only assume this is from a Cats broadcast because there is no way that Ballard "cleaned Crosby's clock". (And yes, broadcasters, when your team's leading scorer gets hammered, you DO have to respond.)
- After starting out hot playing next to Sid, Bill Guerin has come back to earth like John Glenn: too old to think he'll ever go back up. MA Fleury is cold, too, giving up 4 goals a game the past couple, with a GAA well below .900 (that's bad).
- For more Pens-friendly fare, follow Rhonda's Penguin Obsession.
- No strip club tonight kids, it's Holy Saturday. Go pray to your gods.
Two quizzes for the commentators tonight: first, who would you rather play, Boston or Washington, and show your work. Second, let's get Gregory Stewart a nickname, he's earned it.