Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Forwards That Have Gone Backwards: Another Reason to Pessimize (that's not a real word, is it...)

Chris Higgins, Alexei Kovalev, Saku Koivu, Andrei Kostitsyn, Sergei Kostitsyn, Tomas Plekanec, Georges Laraque.

7 forwards that regressed considerably in comparison with the previous season.

Maxim Lapierre, Guillaume Latendresse, Tom Kostopoulos.

3 forwards that have taken a step in the right direction in 2008-09.

Alex Tanguay: Too injured to rate, but a pleasant addition who has brought a good offensive dimension to the first line.

Robert Lang: See you in round 3, or rather the third hole.

Token rookie: Gregory Stewart, I like you, you're a decent man, and I'm sure you pay your mortgage on time, and you can tell a lot by someone's timely mortgage payments.

Your highest scoring team in 07-08 has taken a considerable step backwards; 7 steps backwards, with 60% of this team's forwards having fallen in terrible slumps at various intervals of this all-important year.

About 3 weeks ago, so we're talking about 70 games in, while glossing over the team's individual stats I came across a figure that truly shocked me. I actually found it so unlikely that I quizzed a bunch of friends who were no where near the vicinity of a correct answer. Question? How many assists to you think Chris Higgins has so far this season. Answer: 9.

I couldn't believe it. 9 assists. Sit on that for a moment.

I don't care about the 20 plus goals brother Andrei has scored all year. They came in bunches that would make the Brady's jealous. His play has been so uninspiring that one has to wonder whether or not he actually attempted to play himself out of Montreal. His brother has been nothing more than an on-ice and off-ice side show, with a few verbal jabs in Mikhail Grabovski's direction to boast about.

You have to admire the Lapierre line's desire. If Maxim has shown desire, what has really caught my attention is Guillaume's blossoming leadership skills. I never saw that coming.

Assume the first line picks up where it left off; you need the Plekanec line to contribute, otherwise it's game over. Assume the Bruins shut down the Koivu line; it's game over. So Zombie guy, guy who hangs around with a pimp guy, guy who hangs around with a pimp guy's brother, rise from the frealing dead boys and do something that turns the light behing the opposing goalie a bright red. Sound good?

You wanna win in the playoffs? Easy. Two scoring lines, a gritty third line that contributes those timely goals and a fourth line that plays an honest and errorless shift.

Because they're playing the Boston Bruins, against forwards that have all taken a step...forward, including Michael Ryder, to add insult to injury.

Savard, Lucic, Krejci, Kessel, Recchi (61 points!). A healthy Patrice Begeron who's shown that he's ready to go.

You want to beat these guys? You skate, you skate like fucking Kristi Yamaguchi and you move the puck forward and quickly.the.fuck.out.of.your.zone. C'est aussi simple que ca (which means, quebecois prefer natural breasts - so that's what you say people when you come across a pretty woman in Montreal).

I don't like the matchup. I don't like the Habs' chances, and I think that for once this decade, logic will prevail and the better team will win as easily as the standings indicate it should. The key is that first period of Game 1, which scares me to shits. I have this feeling that Boston will come out FLYING and pound Montreal into bondage. I'm afraid that sets the tone for the rest of the series. If the Habs can manage to come out of that first period not trailing 3 or 4-0, then I'll breathe easier. If we win Game 1, call it a real series.

And one last time, no mention here of Mathieu Dandeneault because Mathieu Dandenault being a less than average defenceman did not make him a first line forward, Guy Carbonneau, you monumental, ...drumroll....asswipe.

28 comments:

moeman said...

With just a few minutes to spare.

Daniel Plainview said...

we will win game 1.

moeman said...

Truthful post. Here's hoping our Habs wake up and win!

Also, I had a huge crush on Marcia.

HabsFan29 said...

this is the most depressing day of FHF posts in a while. yet totally realistic

/ again with the slitting of wrists and carbon monoxide poisoning

South Shore Habs Fan said...

Sounds about right.

Even more depressing is the regression of the rookies, to me. Gainey's plan is mostly about building from within, yet all the players that came up last year have regressed. Sergei had to be sent back down to Hamilton, and is a healthy scratch right now, O'Byrne has sat more games than Breezer and Dandy combined, and when he does play he's made huge gaffes, D'Ags and Stewart have been pretty much unable to hold on to roster spots, and Carey Price still has the same problems he did last April, despite dropping the extra pounds and not having to worry about who the starter is.


Anyone else watching Pittsburgh-Philly, by the way? Fun game so far, though but no goonery. Man, Philly's defense is brutal, though, and Biron is proving that he's only good against us.

Refs aren't exactly being subtle about handing the game to the Pens, though. I suppose it's a complete coincidence that Bettman is in attendance.

Also, Jordan Staal gives me a massive erection. Montreal doesn't even have one decent-sized top centre, and Pittsburgh has 3? It's just not fair.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

tough but no goonery*


Which makes Carcillo oh so very useful.

HabsFan4 said...

29 post a pic for me!!!! This PC sucks Los Testiculos!

moeman said...

WAS v. NYR is entertaining. Bonus, no maguire.

gillis said...

its about fuckin time

What swith all these truthful posts? Its so depressing.

Boob Gainey said...

Fuck we should really have tried to get the Caps.

Daniel Plainview said...

damn these fucking realistic posts.

And meanwhile Theo lets in a softie. makes me think we should have won a couple of those games against shit teams during the regular season. fuck fuck fuck fuck I don't want to lose to these neanderthal fucks.

HabsFan29 said...

i told you all, it's the most depressing day in FHF history. but it's the FUCKING TRUTH

i'll make it alright with hot chicks all day tomorrow

HabsFan29 said...

@4 -you've had a Mac for what, 4 months now and you can't use a PC anymore?

Los Testiculos, heh

Daniel Plainview said...

bah, even when I'm being realistic I just can't shake the optimistic feeling.

Moey said...

Why can't the Habs be the Penguins? Crap. Anyway my decision is made, Penguins are my plan B. I'll root for them until we meet them in the conference final. Yeah, right.

Number31 said...

Higgins was also injured pretty much half this season, though...

Sergei's injured now...

I looked at the Rangers page for something and no one on their team has more than 60 points. Their highest scorer is Antropov, and it wasn't even with them. Basically they live and breathe via Lundqvist.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

"And one last time, no mention here of Mathieu Dandeneault because Mathieu Dandenault being a less than average defenceman did not make him a first line forward, Guy Carbonneau, you monumental, ...drumroll....asswipe."


Aw, I'll miss that tag. Oh well, we still have Weber.

South Shore Habs Fan said...

@ Number31

And Avery. It seems their game plan consists of "get one-goal lead, spend rest of game watching other team try to kill Avery".

Boob Gainey said...

Theo very shaky.

Ovie f***ing awesome.

Daniel Plainview said...

FUCK. We could so beat the Caps.

Olivier said...

Dandy ain't no first line RW, but I want him on the RW of Higs and Metro any day of the week.

AKost had an awful awful year, we all agree n that. Scored 17 Ev St. goals; Kovy had 18 last year. And it's not like he shot at 18% or something (*cough* Ribeiro last year *cough*), he's sitting at, oh, 13%?

I take that kind of bad season any time. Especially if by "scoring in bunch" you mean "had exactly two extra goal games".

Oh well, we are fucked any way. Unless Laraque calmly rip off in the firs 5 minutes of the first game. No need to make it look accidental, the 3 years suspension is a big part of the package...

Olivier said...

"rips off Thomas's head" that is...

Ian Vitro said...

OK, look. Fuck truth.

In 2004, Joe Thornton used the excuse that his broken ribs prevented him from contributing a single point as the 2nd-place Bruins got taken out by the 7th-ranked Canadiens. Nobody ever mentioned Koivu's injury, which was identical to Thornton's. Saku led his line to 24 points over the series.

That year our best line was Zednik, Koivu and Kovalev. I can barely remember who our second-line (second-rate) forwards were - Radek Bonk and Mike Johnson maybe? Our entire scoring strategy was "give Souray the puck, maybe he'll score."

This time around, our lines are better. We have a deeper squad. Kovalev isn't going to stop playing after an uncalled slash and run into Souray, giving the puck away for a breakaway goal costing us the game (yes, as a matter of fact, that is where a bunch of my Kovy hate-on comes from).

Plus I think there's a lot to be said about the underdog mentality. This team can win. That's the truth.

Go Habs Go.

Boob Gainey said...

Statistically Saku had a better year than last year. Same number of goals and more points in ten fewer games.

Laraque can be useful. He was actually threatening against the Pens in the last game of the season, and let's not forget the 3-0 1st period against the Sharks. that was in part due to BGL.

In an interview today he claimed Thornton was shaking in his skates at the thought of fighting him. Seems unlikely. The Looch on the other hand ...

Scott in Montreal said...

Back to positivism:

Any fb-ers? o cum on, nothing really exists until you can reference it on FB.

Anyway, I created a top 5 of "5 Bruins Who Should get Their Clocks Cleaned by Georges Laracque"

kevincrumbs said...

Part of me would not be totally surprised if the Kostitsyns ended up in the KHL. They just don't seem like they want to be here at all.

AK46 showed some promise during the last game of the season but only if promise means missing at a wide open net.

God, who fucking knows? Thanks to Ian for a little look back at 2004. I agree, this team looks better and has more potential, but sadly all of it is on paper. Maybe, just maybe we can wake up and do something against these bandwagon motherfuckers.

orangeman said...

See, I don't think these teams are that much different from last year. It's just that individual players had/are having off/on years. That says to me that if any one of these players turns it on/off then the series takes a different shape. If Thomas plays like last year, then boom, Broons are done. If Kovy dipsy fucking doodles his way around the pylons on B defence, then there you go.

Basically, it's the playoffs and anything can happen. Just take it one game at a time. You're right HF4, we'll see (hear?) the tone of this series in the 1st period of Game 1. If the Habs come out showing they're not going to take the Bs shit, but stay disciplined, then this can be one hell of a series. If they play like the first 2 periods of their last game of the season, then I'll turn my attention to online porn.

J.T. said...

My word verification is "bringle." Boy, I hope Price and Plekanec and Kovalev bringle it tonight. If they do, this could actually be worth watching without painkillers.