Thursday, April 02, 2009

The Game Day Skate presents our new lucky charms - Isles Game Preview and Open Thread

Some anonymous commentor insisted Marisa Miller was responsible for our last win. Who am I to argue with anonymous commentors?

Top 'o the morning y'all! Some interesting stuff in the East last night. With Toronto beating Philly and the Pens beating the now seemingly crappy Devils, Pitt has moved into a virtual 4th place tie. Remember when they were tenth? Anyway, let's get down to business.

Interesting discussion in the comments yesterday about supporting the Fucking Habs. Do you support at all costs or do you turn on them when they suck? I think you know where we stand around here. It's what separates us from any "official" Habs site - we tell it like it is baby! And now, for one game, through the power of Marisa, we rock. Of course, after we lose tonight, we're back to sucking. It's a rocky ride on the gangbangwagon, but we wouldn't have it any other way. Let's hit the bullets to set this baby up:
  • 7 PM start on the Island, and it's on TSN. Who's sick of Maguire?
  • Fucking Habs have taken 7 of their last 8 possible points, while the Isles have lost 5 of 6;
  • With that said, Isles have taken 2 of 3 from the Habs this year;
  • Yes! Islanders is an Isles' blog;
  • Kovy has scored goals in four straight games, with 8 points over that span. Saku has 6 points over that same stretch;
  • Little Tits is our coldest player, but he's not making the trip because of the always-dreaded upper body injury;
  • Kyle Okposo may be the only player worth watching on the Isles;
  • Our old friend Mark Streit is injured and may not play. Our other old friend Yann Danis will most likely start;
  • For your post-game adult entertainment, here's Marisa Miller's spread from the 2007 SI Swumsuit Issue. That should keep you entertained.
Make sure to describe your dreams of the gangbangwagon in the comments

78 comments:

Frank Castle said...

Oooh oooh oooh Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton! Ms. Clifton!

I'm sick of Pierre.

Habs 5-1 over Isles tonight.

Limerick Dude said...

@Frank: I like your show. Decent late season replacement. Oh, wrong Castle, sorry. Stana Katic though - wukka wukka.

Anywho, onto hockey. I actually don't mind McGuire too much. But the one McGuirism I'm most sick of is "big body hockey!" FUCK OFF.

I'm trying to picture a 3-way on a little red wagon while coasting down a long hill.....oh there it is. I think it's doable. I don't think we can bump it up to gangbang though. Unless we're talking about smurfs - and let's face it - there had to be a lot of that action goin' on!

moeman said...

maguire is a fucking putz.

Just heard he'll be broadcasting from the NYI bench tonight. Not beside or near the bench but actually on it. Bias much?

maguire (I heard he reads this blog, allo pierre) tries really hard to hide his Habs hate (um, yeah right) since he was, ahem, alledgedly, turned down by them a few years back.

Go Habs!

James said...

I don't get the feeling that Maguire hates the Habs... maybe I'm just oblivious though.
And the thing is, when I switch to TSN it's generally because I'm so close committing suicide because of Benoit Brunet, that anything is better.

I mean, no matter how bad you think Pierre is (and I'll agree that his monster bullshit and Carey Price playing big and whatever is fucking annoying), can anyone say he's worse than Benoit FUCKING Brunet?

At least Pierre has more than 6 words in his vocabulary...

Moey said...

McGuire was whining to Melnick yesterday afternoon about being "caged" in at the Bell Center when he's doing his commentary and he doesn't have access to the players. He's all excited tonight, the Islanders are letting him sit on their bench and yap.

Anonymous said...

I am kinda sick of McQuire, although knowlegeable and sometimes insightful, he does have a limited schtick. He would be ok in the one spoonful a week Americans get of him, but when you hear him too often he does get old. Like eating in the mess hall, it's okay once in a while but the menu starts repeating..And his hab hating is obvious..

Shutdown said...

I predict a nice Freudian slip on his part one day.
"Well I was talking to him in the locker room, watch out here he comes. WHAT A HIT! MONSTER COCK!"

moeman said...

@Shutdown, already happened (also, some of the comments are hilarious);

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i5zXLZHGI4

Word Verif = yvatin, as in yvatin da Habs to vin (kinda Jaroish)

moeman said...

TFS™ has the fucking flu. Fuck.

Anonymous said...

McQuire is a dick

James said...

moeman- April 1st was yesterday. Please say you just got confused with your calendar...?

moeman said...

Nope Habs I/O and Team990 both reporting it.

Word Verif = jamee, as in TFS™ is gonna be staying in his jamee today.

HFF33 aka Panger said...

@HF29 - what's an "out" new lucky charm? Did you just "out" Marisa Miller? Cause if so, that's hot.

E said...

If the Habs win I want another Jaro movie review guys.

Jaybird said...

WTF is with this satanic flu we have going around every year?

A plea to George Gillet: Can you either invest $2.97 on a can of antibacterial febreeze or lysol....or ,better yet and even funner, attend a taping of the price is right and hope you get to play "check-out" and further hope that lysol is one of the items you guess the price on. Guess "higher" and spray the lysol directly into the mouth of every man on our roster. Spray extra on the herpes that sometimes appear around Kovy's lips. I suspect this is the source of the problem.

Word verif: suronism

The name of the everlasting Habs virus

Jaybird said...

At least Streit will probably miss this one! Decent trade-off for Price.

Streit pulled his groin on the gangbangwagon trying some new shit!

HabsFan29 said...

@Panger - that typo was in tribute to you

Limerick Dude said...

Stupeed fat Carri keesing Higgins on the mouth with hees tongue!

Limerick Dude said...

Hey, I just had a great idea if i do say so myself. The Pierre McGuire disdain is clearly evident. So what to do? Turn it into a positive.

Take your top McGuirism that you hate the most. Every time you hear Pierre say (in my case for example) "THAT'S JUST BIG BODY HOCKEY!", take a shot of whatever you have going - Jack Daniels in my case. Could be a hit of meth. Snort some pop rocks. Whatever your fancy.

Use your own, or here's a list from the "Pierre McGuire is the worst commentator EVER" facebook page:

10) "He's a big body presence"
9) "That is a major league KABONG!"
8) "...and WHAMMO! It's Hammertime!"
7) "Thats an agredgeous call..."
6) "Boy you look at Team Canada defenseman Shawn Bell and what he looks like without his shirt on, he's got one of the greatest physics in all of sports"
5) "BAM! BAM! Thats a DOUBLE DEON!"
4) "It takes guys who care...and so and so cares!"
3) "It takes guys that get it...and so and so gets it!"
2) "So and so fans...get real excited about so and so, he's gnna be a part of that teams success for a long time"
1) "Thats what makes that guy a MONSTER!"

moeman said...

LDude knows.

I'll be cycling betwixt Hoegaarden, Becks and Leffe Brune.

Other sure fire maguirisms;

- love thrown to brian burke (for no reason)
- love thrown to Gord Miller (NTTIAWWT)

Jaybird said...

OMG those are great!

How could you forget "That's an / He's an Active (insert anything)"

He once said "that was an active crosscheck...should be a major" and "what an active blocker save".

I think anytime you move your body its considered active really.

Also "He's an all world (insert position)". I counted once in a game he said five or six players had all world skill at one time or another. Considering an "All-World" team would consist of 22 players; five in that game including both goaltenders was unlikely.

"He's got these guys believing" is another classic.

"Moms and Dads wooden sticks are still 30 dollars" is a retro gem.

Jaybird said...

"(Insert player name) is not happy with (Insert player, coach, referee name) and is giving it to him as we speak. And it's pretty nasty stuff."

Habsfan10 said...

Everyone needs to lay off Maguire. I have two words for all of you:

Harry Neale.

Two more:

Joe Bowen.

Two more:

"Holy Mackinaw!!!!!!" (What Joe Bowen screams at least a dozen times every broadcast.)

And you wonder why Leaf fans are fucking idiots? Listening to those two makes your brain cells just up and leave.

Jaybird said...

Oh oh! Sorry for all the posts I remembered one more:

"And that's why this guys is on the short list for Team Canada at the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver."

gillis said...

Ibet you guys $10 that McGuire is going to mention how lively the boards are tonight. He loves that one.

"It takes guys that get it...and so and so gets it!"
I've heard this one way too many times.

The monster one is terrible too.

Habs are going to score at least five goals tonight cause my verif word "whing", as in 8 free chicken whings at the cage.

gillis said...

@Jbird: According to MacGuire, the only ones that arent on the short list for Team Canada in 2010 are the Americans and Europeans.

kevincrumbs said...

I will gladly trade you whatever crappy Isles announcers I'll have to suffer through tonight for Pierre Maguire.

As for Carey having the flu, meh. We still have Jaroslav Allah. I'm not worried about this... which means we'll lose 3-0 with all goals coming from Ryan O'Byrne.

Ian Vitro said...

@HF10 - It's true, I hate both Harry Neale and Bob Cole more than I hate McGuire... but remember that better than shit isn't necessarily good.

Happy to see Halak get the start even if it means Price has flu. I'm always happy to see Halak get the start - I've been quite doubtful of Price's instant #1 and TFS(tm) title from day 1 of the Huet giveaway (please don't call it a trade). Where's a the fucking bandwagon jumping in that?

gangbangwagon - I feel like this is something parked at the corner of Haight-Ashbury in 1967; a wooden-paneled station wagon with loads of fleshy bits pressed against the windows. Ew.

too close to toronto said...

can always count on HF10 to keep things in perspective. harry neale is the worst. joe bowen is also pretty goddamned awful, but at least he was never jammed down the throats of the nation every saturday for a million years (or at least my province... i hear that sometimes non-ontarians get to watch not the leafs on saturdays and listen to not cole and neale).

Anonymous said...

Bill Clement speculates that Jacques Lemaire MAY be the next Habs coach.

And go to youtube and find Marisa Miller's SI bodypainting shoot where she says, "Yes, I am naked."

And then go masturbate furiously.

Go Habs! Go you fucking Habs!

Anonymous said...

Never mind; just click here or here.

Or both and then beat off.

Go you fucking Habs!

L Dude said...

I'd pass on Lemaire. But I'd take him over a coach with little or no experience at this level.
I'd like to see Mats Naslund as an assistant. One of my top 3 players of the 80's!

Well, after a scoreless first the Habs (Isles) got on the scoreboard, only to have it tied up seconds later. The Habs (Isles) took the lead but it was brief as the Isles (Habs) scored 3 unanswered before the middle frame was out. In the end it was Isles 7-3 over the Habs, which translates to a beatdown by the Habs over the Isles tonight. Damn I suck at that game....

@Anon:
And go to youtube and find Marisa Miller's SI bodypainting shoot where she says, "Yes, I am naked." CHECK

And then go masturbate furiously. CHECK

L Dude said...

I'll save you all some time. I was on the SI website. There are currently no openings for SI body painters. A

punkster said...

Gonna get a mite boring over the coming weeks if all you post are MM pics because she's like a good luck charm or something...NOT!!!!

Word Verif: "hendfasi" as in "I hunnerstan Pwicey iss sick but iss he puking hendfusi out late lass night?"

gillis said...

@LD: Did you officially change your name to L Dude?

And I was actually thinking about how lucky you have to be to becaome marisa millers bodypainter.

offspace said...

I'm hoping Halak doesn't have an HAL-lacios performance and thank god little Gregory can come out and play. Will he ever become our "Knuckles" Nilan? Seems like the type.
[a href=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y2L_uECYYg&feature=player_embedded]His first game, oh the good times last year...[/a]

word verif: batmet

Maguire is batmeat.

offspace said...

[a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y2L_uECYYg&feature=player_embedded"]His first game, oh the good times last year...[/a]

fezworth said...

firing up CJAD over 3g. Hooray for technology!

kevincrumbs said...

Hey, hey! TSN instead of MSG+ here in the States!

BGL is playing? Fuck...

moeman said...

Habs 1 - NY Maguires 0

kevincrumbs said...

For all of Maguire's praise of the Isles, guess who's up 1-0 now?

kevincrumbs said...

Praise Allah! Great save on Thompson!

Jaybird said...

Whoever coined "Jaro Allah" is a genius.

Insh'Allah!

GO KOVY KOIVY TANGY LINE GO!!!

Hopefullyt Komodo Dragon lights somebody up in his hometown! Lights out baby WOOOOOOO

South Shore Hab said...

Halak seems to have worked on his puckhandling - nice to see!

Laraque and Stewart on the same line? Heh. Hope they crack some heads if necessary (they better, since they won't score)

moeman said...

Habs 2 - NY Fucking Maguires 0

kevincrumbs said...

Good sign: I totally thought we were on the PP when we had some sustained pressure in their zone. Usually it's the other team that looks like they're on the PP when they're not.

And hey, we just got a real PP and scored on it to boot. Go Habs Go.

I don't know about Danis Minogue tonight but I'll take it. We need all the help we can get.

Jaybird said...

@ South

Laraque thinks he's an offensive dynamo though?!? Are you saying otherwise lol?

And Schneider goes the dynamite! What a pickup by Gainer.

kevincrumbs said...

Good period after a slow start.

moeman said...

Not sure which one I prefer but it would be good to see the puck smack maguire's;

- turtle-waxed noggin

- filthy mouth

- empty nutsack

Jaybird said...

Darren Dutchysen is a fucking juice monkey lipstick wearing dick.

Basically just said we have no chance against Boston in the first round.

He's a fact for you you freak of nature cross between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Rene Zellweger.

"The Canadiens have gone 23-7 in this one-sided rivalry, humiliating the Bruins seemingly every time out."

Hmmm last time they ended first and we ended eigth? WE SMOKED THEM and made Joe Thorton look like a Jr. A player. Bring it on Bruins! Still rather face them than Jersey.

Jaybird said...

@ moe

I'd prefer empty nutsac but I'd put money down he wears a jock to feel "in the game" and more importantly to keep his boner held down from Price - watching.

moeman said...

Well said birdJay. 'Dutchie' reminds me of that musclebound home-deco designer guy who has an amazing little helper babe.

Habs 3 ~ NY Pierre Fuckers 0

orangeman said...

Just tuned into cjad to hear that 3rd goal. Woot!

Also, if it's wrong to show up to work half an hour late still drunk from last night, then I don't want to be right.

Go Habs!

orangeman said...

Again, woot!

moeman said...

This show;

http://www.aetv.com/sell-this-house/

Tanya is the babe.

Habs 4 ~ NY NotMonsters 0

kevincrumbs said...

Man, imagine how loud it would be if this was at the Bell Centre. Whomever predicted wings earlier today was a genius.

offspace said...

shooting sitting ducks. where the frak has this team begin?

moeman said...

@kc, La Cage has freezers full of wings to fry.

Ian Vitro said...

Laraques actually fought someone?

Nice. 'bout time.

They're calling our top forwards "the aspirin line" A-S-A. Douchebags.

We need a witty nickname for these boys or hope Sergei ends up a top-line winger.

Jaybird said...

I was gonna say 7 - 1 earlier but held myself from doing it. Shit. This is getting me pumped for our big beer leaugue playoff game later! Rage time...

@ Moe - Haha Dutchy will pick your drapes and lipstick out for you!

Jaybird said...

*Not for you personally ... his clients.

Baroque said...

I am kinda sick of McQuire, although knowlegeable and sometimes insightful, he does have a limited schtick. He would be ok in the one spoonful a week Americans get of him, but when you hear him too often he does get old. Like eating in the mess hall, it's okay once in a while but the menu starts repeating..And his hab hating is obvious..

No, no he isn't. I despise him with the white-hot heat of a thousand suns.

And what got into the Canadiens? This goal-scoring thing is nice, but a bit disorienting based on more recent experience.

moeman said...

Can cuthbert and magwired be more excited?

Habs 4 ~ NY Cueballs 1

moeman said...

BGL has been watching the Kovy DVDs.

South Shore Hab said...

Laraque pulls a Kovy, ragging the puck around the offensive zone for at least half a minute, ending in a nice passing play and a good shot by Hamrlik.


... wait, what?!

moeman said...

Man I hope Tangs is resigned.

Moey said...

I hope Tangs, Kovy & Koivu are re-signed.

moeman said...

@Moey, yup.

moeman said...

Habs 5 ~ NYI Bench Coaches Bums 1

Moey said...

I'd like to see Komo break out more on offense. He's got a hard shot 99. something as I recall.

moeman said...

More Marisa Miller deMain Matin!

Melly said...

Komo's play the last two weeks has helped salvage his contract season.

Unfortunately for us, this means some team will throw 5.5 million at him.

Ian Vitro said...

I love you Jaro.

Word verif = takir, as in "takir away, Jaro..."

South Shore Hab said...

This is what teams like Vancouver, Calgary, and Dallas need to learn: 2 hot goalies > 1 hot goalie.

Great game by the Habs, though the third period was boring as hell. Not even a sniff of a comeback, thankfully.

I really liked the Habs passing it around for the last minute or so - classy, and very Bob Gainey. It also dissuades teams from taking a late-game cheap shot.

Frank Castle said...

Looks like I was right on the money. I'm gonna think about the Laffs now.

Anonymous said...

I hope beating your man meats is a bit more enjoyable after the Habs turned the Isles into two-dozen condoms.

Marisa Miller and you guys strong-hand raping yourselves is a good luck charm, eh? Yeah, you're gonna fuck yourselves with your dry and crusty palms every game day now.

Go you fucking Habs!

Number31 said...

Lemaire? Really? Help us? Bob should just stay coach.

Love it when the Habs listen to our calls for wings.

lawyergirl77 said...

Holy shit.

60 minutes of domination, two games in a row?

Dude.

Where the fuck did this come from??

Please don't start to let me down again, boys. I don't think my heart can take it...

And WORDY MCWORD to the person upthread who said that we need to resign Kovy, Saku and Tanguay, like, stat!! The Komosaurus is also starting to make a comeback, which is very nice. I want to see him and higgy get resigned too... and maybe El Dandy too, because he's playing like the MONSTER he is...

*sigh* Why did the Fucking Habs have to go and make me care deeply about them, again??? I was getting used to being numb.