That was quite a little ending to Game 1, wasn't it? As HF10 so level-headedly put it yesterday, "neutral corners 'til Saturday, all." Well it's Saturday. Time to come out fighting.
The ending of Game 1 had it all. Well, except an actual fight. DOOM's face wash / eye gouge. Kosto's flying elbow. Kovalev's stick thief (kudos to Stanley Cup of Chowder for tracking down the fan). The whole melee started by Mad Max being Mad Max. And I would love to give you my take on the whole thing, except for one serious problem.
I totally missed it.
As soon as the empty-netter went in, I got up in a huff and went to the bathroom (2 Boréales and 4 Irish Whiskeys; please note the bizarre coincidence between those numbers and the final score). As I walked out of the room, I changed the channel. I was so annoyed at the loss, I couldn't take dealing with any discussion of the game. I think I turned on 30 Rock, but not even Alec Baldwin could make me laugh at that point. I was angry, and my hate of the Bruins was reaching HF10-level proportions. And the Bruins didn't really do anything wrong. I just fucking hate losing to them so much. So please, Fucking Habs, take this one tonight so I can know it's a series. Crush those fucking bitCHes. Here's some bullets to set up the fight for you:
The ending of Game 1 had it all. Well, except an actual fight. DOOM's face wash / eye gouge. Kosto's flying elbow. Kovalev's stick thief (kudos to Stanley Cup of Chowder for tracking down the fan). The whole melee started by Mad Max being Mad Max. And I would love to give you my take on the whole thing, except for one serious problem.
I totally missed it.
As soon as the empty-netter went in, I got up in a huff and went to the bathroom (2 Boréales and 4 Irish Whiskeys; please note the bizarre coincidence between those numbers and the final score). As I walked out of the room, I changed the channel. I was so annoyed at the loss, I couldn't take dealing with any discussion of the game. I think I turned on 30 Rock, but not even Alec Baldwin could make me laugh at that point. I was angry, and my hate of the Bruins was reaching HF10-level proportions. And the Bruins didn't really do anything wrong. I just fucking hate losing to them so much. So please, Fucking Habs, take this one tonight so I can know it's a series. Crush those fucking bitCHes. Here's some bullets to set up the fight for you:
- 8 PM start in Boston. You hear that, EIGHT PEE EM. An extra hour to drink pre-game!
- My new thing is to watch RDS during play, then immediately switch to CBC when I hear a whistle to avoid hearing Benoit speak. It's heaven;
- The Big Bad Bruins brings the homerism, but bring it with teh funneh so I can live with it;
- The line-up at practice yesterday was the same as the Game 1 lineup;
- I make the hot Habs as the Métro-Higgy-Tangy line. Fuck those guys were fun to watch;
- In the so beyond cold he may really actually be dead department, ladies and gentlemen, the one and only ZombiePleks! I like what Bob said yesterday, "he's our only option at centre." Nice vote of confidence there;
- As a little aside, have you heard the Habs are for sale? Bring on Céline! Well as it turns out, George Gillett doesn't want to sell. He just wants someone to give him cash for minority interests in his three sports teams. Serge Savard, NASCAR owner!
- In the vaguely good news department, Andrei Markov has been skating;
- For your fight-based post game adult entertainment, check out Ultimate Surrender (majorly NSFW).
283 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 283 of 283Bruins to go on their fourth PP. Montreal doesn't have any yet.
Can't wait until the playoffs next year, when we'll toughen our team up with Havlat and Gaborik.
Koivu seems to be the only guy willing to go to the front of the net.
Oh whoopee, another PP for the Bruins.
Game time kids! Boston + PP + shitty habs defence = ?
So, is Boston that good or do we suck that much? As per my usual luck, my second team is doing even worse (Columbus).
The Bruins control the Habs zone so easily when they're on a PP. Contrast that to Montreal's PP this season.
Another penalty? Come on...
ugh
Word Verif = pecref
For the record, that sick feeling one get's in one's stomach with 2 periods gone, kovalev in the PB, and CH down 1-4, is effectively duplicated by taking a whiff of a Sharpie permanent pen.
Or I may have had too much wine.
Blanche Neige, Neige Blanche, I suppose...
Almost makes you wish there were a mercy rule...
YAY! Bruins 5, Habs 1.
FUCK THIS TEAM. FUCK PRICE. Come on, Gainey, do something.
Please, for Carey's sake, start jaro in the third. Poor Price looks like he's had enough
Ryder. Well that's just super.
HALAK NOW
This game is about to get rough and out of hand.
Word verification: consince. As is, I would have a guilty consince if I played this poorly.
You know what's super? I'm seriously going to go change and start weeding in the yard. That seems like a lot more fun than watching this fucking shit. Thanks for wasting 84 nights of my life.
I'll check in later to see the continued snark.
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
His name is Jaroslav Halak
We're fucked. Markov or not this team needs a facelift like Joan Collins
If I had played this poorly, I would be un-'consince' because I would be drowning my sorrows in booze.
=)
I think Anon meant Joan Rivers.
Wow. Just wow.
Mr. LG77 said to me right before the puck dropped in game 1 that he was picking the Habs in 5. Why? Because they would be the ones constantly on the power play because of the dirty Bs.
Bs in 5 now. I still think that we're going to win game 3 in Montreal.
Word verification - infulu. As in, I've had enough of this infulu game.
rds is picking nits. Cube gets hurt and they now Gainey is blamed for playing him. Mark my words kidz, the Montreal media has begun the de-railing of Bob Gainey.
Moe - they started it weeks ago. I'm not surprised at all.
The way Montreal goes on streaks, it wouldn't surprise me to see them down 3-0 in the series, and then win the next three to force a game 7.
Actually, if the Habs were down 3-0, and went on to win the series, I think these games would be worth it.
Tom - much as I would love to believe that fairy tale (from the Disney World nut) but it ain't gonna happen without Prince Charming a.k.a. Markov...
...which is kind of funny when you consider how truly unfortunate looking that man is.
@lg77, I agree but a loss like this means more coal in the fire.
Kovie and Dandedeault are the only ones giving any effort out there.
Actually, Koivu is battling a lot, but I don't think he's playing on the same plain as the first two.
Not sure why but for the last week I've had a huge ice cream graving. Gonna go down to the Dairy Queen for a raspberry sundae.
moe - they were building the effigies to burn the moment it became clear that we weren't winning the cup this year.
Firing Carbo didn't help either.
craving
I'm trying to avoid stuffing my face, moe. Why did you have to mention Dairy Queen???
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
What the FUCK are they doing out there?
Hey, Price, we know your glove hand sucked last year. We like your ridiculously pretty glove saves. But YOU ALSO HAVE A FUCKING BLOCKER, FUCKING USE IT!
DEFENSE! THE GAME IS BEING PLAYED AT THE TD BANKNORTH GARDEN IN BOSTON! IF YOU HURRY, YOU MIGHT MAKE IT IN TIME FOR THE 3RD PERIOD!
FORWARDS! In other words: Kovy. Who the fuck are the rest of you fuckers in jerseys? (Higgins and Metro get exemptions)
Seriously. ALEX FUCKING KOVALEV IS THE MOST INTERESTED PLAYER ON THIS TEAM.
ARRRRRGH!
Weber has managed to not suck. This is a positive, right?
Word verif: "plies".
Plies make the pain stop.
fuck this season. blow it the fuck up Bob, fuck it up man.
HALAK IN NETS!
@lg77, probably subliminal vibes from the blog. I've got marble cake, apple pie and Nice cookies in the house but soft ice cream beckons.
I'm volunteering at an 80's party right now... Certainly ca feel comme 86 in here. Glad I'm not watching.
Now if only Halak could score, we'd be in business.
when does Markov come back?
*cradles his bottle of wine disconsolately*
word verif: ovituri
As in "this game is ovituri, methinks"
fuck my life
HA-LAK! HA-LAK!
Listen to the sarcastic Olés. Oy.
Oh, that's what a save looks like. Imagine if our goalie was making saves like that from the beginning.
No, don't. It hurts too much.
Bob,
please start Jaro in game 3.
Sincerely,
Habs fans
the sarcastic olé's are flattering.
I look up at the score at the top of my screen, and my headache starts pounding.
Jaro is playing well though.
I've got the VS feed on the internet. This whole 3rd period it's been one big circle jerk from the announcers. Call the game, fucktards.
fuck the Mickey Mouse crowd.
I wonder if Carbo is watching the game, saying "See Bob, that's the team you wanted me to coach. Where's your brilliant startegy?"
Whoa, Jaro's in?
Weeding sucks but a little less than this vintage of Nos Amours.
Last year might have been the worst thing to happen to this team. I would've preferred a nice steady climb to the top.
Looks like the wheels are falling off......
I'm actually quite glad I'm not watching this live. I understand that the Chinese don't appreciate violent public outbursts. Good thing I've got enough opium to last a couple more gameszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Why am I still watching this when Calgary and Chicago are serving up a close, competitive game?
Stupid shitty sense of loyalty.
Montreal has two shots this period.
Way to try and play for pride.
Yeah Gorges, you send those Bruins a message. That'll scare them.
@Tom: Pride? Canadiens? Same sentence?
this is killing me...
And the Na Na Na Na Goodbye starts at 7:19. Great. Just great.
At least I'm less embarrassed about the Bell Centre crowd now.
so, would you guys trade Price for Lecavalier straight up?
DP - no, 'cause Price is going to be great. Youth and inexperience have everything to do with it.
Case in point - Thomas used to suck. A lot. Now look at him. And he's 34.
How many times has Higgins missed the net now?
Forwards can come into the NHL pretty quickly with very little adjustment.
Defencemen - takes them several years.
Goalies - takes the longest out of all of them.
Lucic won't get a susension. Suspensions only get imposed based on effect.
Max isn't a diver.
Hey lg77, guess what I just got?
lg-
this pertains to your "sarcastic ole" comment from before.
Have you been to a Boston-Montreal game in Boston?
They're so intellectual there, instead of Olé Olé, they chant You're Gay, You're Gay.
Wow. Our first powerplay with a little over 4 minutes left in the game. That'll help. *golf clap*
Moe - no... what? A raspberry sundae?
And shutdown - they do that in Ottawa and Toronto too. Wow. Homophobia. Such originality. Asshats.
Now we just need a Boston SHG to cap off the humiliation.
@lg77, yeah that and a fucking brainfreeze. Ate the thing too fast. ; )
take out Lucic's knee next game. total ball less piece of shit.
At least it might help numb the pain of the game. sigh.
^^for moe
Pull the goalie Babs!
*flips to the Flames-Blackhawks game for, you know...actual hockey*
Also, the Calgary-Chitown game has the added benefit of being Bob-Cole-Less, which is nice.
will Lucunt get a suspension?
Well, that fucking sucked. Gonna go watch my 1993 VHS tape of the last Stanley Cup win. Were there CDs in 1993?
well so much for jesus price!
Bonsoir La Gang. A bientôt.
Hrm. 3-2 Chicago. Boo.
@ DP
Hey hey hey, he was just trying to send a message at the end of the game! Oh, wait...
Dear Canadiens,
1. Jaro starts next game. Non-negotiable.
2. Stop trying to outhit the Bruins. You suck at it.
3. If you're going to play dump and chase, don't forget to, y'know, chase.
4. Play with a little pride.
Well, at least we can get rid of half these fuckers come July.
Fucking Centennial is cursed. Fucking cursed.
SSHF - I agree with you, but for one thing. The stop hitting. The habs are better when they're trying to hit and bump the other team off the puck. Games that we've won are often games in which we outhit the other team. Shots don,t matter as much for our stats.
As for the rest - Wordy McWord, with a side helping of WORD.
@ lg77
I agree with you completely - the Habs are better when they play physical. It's just that I think they're overdoing it, taking themselves out of the play to make the big hit. I'd like to see them make smart decisions, rather than this "You can't intimidate us! WE'RE NOT AFRAID OF Y-oh you scored. Fuck."
I can't wait until that Bruins fan comes on here and tries to convince us again that Lucic isn't a dirty player, like he said earlier.
SSHF - I agree with you ENTIRELY. Why aren't we coaching the team?
Wait. I remember. I have boobs. That makes me unqualified to know anything about hockey, at least at the NHL level.
@ lg77
I speak French with an English accent. I couldn't coach the Habs even if I were Scotty freakin' Bowman.
I don't see why you can't coach the Habs, though. They might identify with a fellow woman.
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